I can't believe what I just read!

Judy - posted on 09/27/2009 ( 32 moms have responded )

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I am new here and while I do not have all of the answers, I do have a 10 y/o aspie and have been through quite a bit over the last 10- almost 11 years or so....like so many of you! In some cases I have been there and done that and in other cases I can only pray for you. That said, I just read a reply from one Mom to another and I am in shock over the reply so I am venting here in a new post.



The reply said that her daughter was just taken from her because of safety issues and she was debating on if she wanted to fight a 2 year order.



EXCUSE ME????????????????? WT hell?



YOUR daughter did not ask to be brought into this world- what is wrong with you? You are not a mother. A mother would NOT say that about her child no matter how tired, how sick, how depressed, how hard...whatever the reason! Does your child quit when it is too hard for her? Put yourself in your child's shoes.....imagine what she must go through each day...and you think you have it hard? You make me sick. You do not deserve that child and you should NOT fight the order....



Any mother out there who has something to say to me- don't. My daughter has fits and rages, been through a ton- just like EVERY single mother of a child with Autism....but you don't quit on your child. Yes- it is hard. Yes- it can be brutal!- Yes, I know you are tired....But you don't give up on your child. It is way harder for our children than it is for us. Do you think our children asked for this? They did not.



So just 'lock yourself in your room'. You do not deserve that blessing of a child...not even for a moment!

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Alicia - posted on 09/29/2009

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You read the post so know what the tone of it was and are probably right when you say she should not fight the order if she can't be an advocate for her child. If you feel this strongly about it maybe you should reply directly to her so that it will have an impact on the person who needs to hear it. Maybe she's at the end of her rope and isn't as strong as you and this is just the wakeup call she needs. If you want to be that childs voice then for the childs sake speak to the person who needs to hear that voice the most instead of venting in a post her mother may or may not choose to read.

I do respect the mamma bear fighting spirit and wish there were more people who were willing to speak for children who otherwise have no voice. I also do understand the frustration with a mother choosing to walk away because she is more concerned for herself. You are right when you say this is harder for our children than it will ever be for ourselves. It IS our responsibility to raise them with love and protect them from harm because we chose to bring them into this world. Some people are stronger than others.

For the sake of her child you may want to say these things to her in a tone that will not negate any possibility that she may listen to the content. Skipping the negative comments like what's wrong with you and you are not a mother (However personaly satisfying to say) will help accomplish the ultimate goal. Helping her be the mother her child needs her to be is what will be the most helpfull for her daughter. That was what I was trying to say earlier but I don't think I was very effective in communicating it. Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post in such an honest way.

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Donna - posted on 10/05/2009

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this is to everyone who has given this mother a bad or negative comments has this women beaten her child abused this child in some shape or form neglected this child, no she hasnt. if you read her comments you can tell she loves her child and wants her child,she is unsure of what to do for the best. you lot telling me you havnt had a really bad day and just thought enough is a enough and that goes to all parents. the ones who admits that are very brave and the ones who dont are lying, cos everyone has limits. i could understand people being mean and nasty to her if she had hurt this child physically abused this child, but she hasnt. get your bloody priorities straight. there are a lot of freaks and peadophiles in this world and you lot judge a mother who has had a really bad day. what idiots are you lot like. like i said before to judy. i hope people dont judge you as harsh as you judge this women. believe it or not there is a thing called karma and you lot will get yours eventually

JoAnn - posted on 10/04/2009

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AMEN....I AGREE WITH YOU JUDY! I am a mom of a 13 year old child with Aspergers syndrome. I struggle every single day yet I would NEVER give up on my son! I am doing everyting and anything to help him to learn to live a normal life!!

[deleted account]

You know, that is sick! I would fight tooth and nail for my daughter especially if they think that they are going to try and take away my baby? Unreal, I don't understand why she would give up on her own daughter unless she is too immature to really be taking care of her in the first place.

Barbara - posted on 10/04/2009

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I with u! im a single mom of 5 kids 1 with phycosis mood disorder and adhd and one sensory processing, dyplaxia and aspergers and 3 that so far are okay. I wouldnt change my life for second unless it ment i had more time with them.

Kerry - posted on 10/03/2009

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It is tragic that we cannot get the help we need for our children untill it is too late to help them. Living in australia where that particular mother is from, we are severly without help especially if we are not very very wealthy and live in a city with recourses. But its great that those armchair experts in the child safety dept, have sent this child to minds and hearts for help (way out of the price range of poor people and NOT covered by govt helath funding) . I have been where that lady is, after 15 years of trying to deal with a totally non compliant autistic son, i hav brain aneurisms that burst. they should have killed me and didnt (god kept me here being the only one that could cope or understand my child).
After a life threatening injury like that I rearranged my thinking and email bombed every cabinet minister in the country with a scathing letter about the lack of services for the disabled. Very soon i had a help package given to me to help our family deal with the stress of the behaviours of my son. It was nowhere near enough to solve it but has at least made me feel like when i couldnt cope there was help, somone else to make the phone calls visits to find some services. It took a lot of p[ressure off.

Just before i had the brain bleed i wa so stressed and tired of all the phone calls from school about how naughty my child was etc etc ( you all know what i am talking about her i guess) Iwas jsut so tired of all these people telling me how they could make my son normal that i had had enough and i was ready to let them take him.
By then i was beleiving that it had to be something iwas doing, why were all these strategys and plans not working? it had to be m,e. After i received extra govt help we employed a "super nanny" to come and look at what was going on, she was wonderful, sully supportive of me and there on the phone when i was getting into the yelling cycle, calming me down until it became second nature to clam myself and short cut the brutal treatment my son was giving me. Through this and other interventions the package paid for i was able to feel like i wasnt alone and i wasnt doing a bad job (why does it look so easy for other parents).
So although it sounds bad, in the situation in australia it might be the better way for the ladys child to get some help and perhaps become less viiolent, as mother had done what she could with the sparse resources. At least now the child will be given every resource to help her. the child is old enough to help herself and that is possibly the only way that lady will be able to give the child a chance to live a full and happy life. Hard thing to have to do but i see where her thoughts come from. A little sympathy wouldnt go astray Judy. look at it from both sides. More support and logical suggestions is what the lady needs.

Alicia - posted on 10/03/2009

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Quoting Judy:

I can't believe what I just read!

I am new here and while I do not have all of the answers, I do have a 10 y/o aspie and have been through quite a bit over the last 10- almost 11 years or so....like so many of you! In some cases I have been there and done that and in other cases I can only pray for you. That said, I just read a reply from one Mom to another and I am in shock over the reply so I am venting here in a new post.

The reply said that her daughter was just taken from her because of safety issues and she was debating on if she wanted to fight a 2 year order.

EXCUSE ME????????????????? WT hell?

YOUR daughter did not ask to be brought into this world- what is wrong with you? You are not a mother. A mother would NOT say that about her child no matter how tired, how sick, how depressed, how hard...whatever the reason! Does your child quit when it is too hard for her? Put yourself in your child's shoes.....imagine what she must go through each day...and you think you have it hard? You make me sick. You do not deserve that child and you should NOT fight the order....

Any mother out there who has something to say to me- don't. My daughter has fits and rages, been through a ton- just like EVERY single mother of a child with Autism....but you don't quit on your child. Yes- it is hard. Yes- it can be brutal!- Yes, I know you are tired....But you don't give up on your child. It is way harder for our children than it is for us. Do you think our children asked for this? They did not.

So just 'lock yourself in your room'. You do not deserve that blessing of a child...not even for a moment!


everyone who wants to reply to this post please read Karina's reply. In it she lists the original message. and responses. I replied to the original message  but didn't realize it was the post this mom was referring to. I thought it might be but disregarded the possibility because how could anyone judge this woman who has fought so hard for so long.  



My original reply to this thread was about tempering responses  to maintain the type of community we are part of. Now I have to say everyone who responded negatively to this moms cries for help need to check yourselves. I have a lot of respect for the moms who are willing to admit they are struggling and ask for help. You didn't offer help in return to her honest pleas.  You beat her down. It takes strength to admit weakness and people in her situation are not truly weak.  They are simply struggling and deserve our support. I tried to be gentle in my reply to the original post because I was trying to make sure the core of my argument about maintaining our community of support and love would be heard. Right now I just feel angry. 

Jessica - posted on 10/03/2009

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Im new on this circle of moms thing. I have a 9 1/2 yr old son, who is mildly autistic/pdd nos. I agree with you completely. They are a blessing just like my other 2 children. No

REAL LOVING mother would give up on their child, or give them away for that matter.

Jade - posted on 10/03/2009

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i cant believe how nasty some people can be this is not a small child she is talking about this is a 13yr old so this mum has fought for 13yrs and put up with this for 13 long yrs and now that HER DAUGHTER IS PHYSICALLY TRYING TO KILL HER she is not sure what to do. to put up for that for so long is remarkable she has asked for help and no one answered until now by removing her child probably to give them both councilling and a break as the child now knows how scared her mum is and can manipulate her and the mum is to scared to do anything, but from what she has said she most certainly does deserve to be a mum as by what has been said on past posts she has a lot of love for her child, and is only now being helped after 13yrs, i wish i could give this mum a hug as it sounds like she has had a long hard battle with her child already.

p.s if this was her husband treating her this way u would tell her to leave but to put up for this for so long by her child shows how much she cares

Candace - posted on 10/03/2009

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I agree with you. The mom may have wrote that after a really stressful day and hopefully was just venting. Whatever made that mom feel that desperate and alone I pray she has a great family support system close. Two year old's with no signs of developmental delay are a handful. Sometimes, it helps to raise autistic children hour by hour in the beginning. If a stressed out mom thinks of an entire day or week it may bring her to tears quickly. Again, I will pray for this mom and if she reads this and ask for help or support I will readily be avaliable and only with encouragement and open arms. I would encourage all moms to offer each other support and compassion. Motherhood can be the hardest job and 24/7.

Donna - posted on 10/03/2009

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omg, judy how can you judge people. who do you think you are. this women is crying out for help. this women is feeling low then low and all you can do is kick her when she is down, but for the safety of the child and mother maybe, just maybe she is doing the right thing, here in the uk there has been a case about a mother and her disabled child, she was crying out for help for years, but no one helped her , so she killed herself and her daughter too, would you want that on your concious. would you want that child to stay in an enviroment that isnt safe for her or her mother. and then have a tradegy like that happen.i know which i would chose. i hope and pray that people dont judge you as harsh as you judged her.

Rose Ann - posted on 10/02/2009

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you are so right and that was horrible what that mother said. it is hard but it is also very very very rewarding. for every tantrum our kids throw there is also so many hugs and kisses we get from our children. and it is a learning experience fr us as well as our children. our children have no idea what is happening to them inside and why. so we just love them through every moment. that woman maybe shouldnt have her child back. maybe she would be better without an uncaring mother.

Debora - posted on 10/02/2009

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all i can say is god be with both mom and child while they are a part for however long this maybe .may they both know we all in the circle understand how hard raising a specail child can be . maybe this is why god decided they both need rest and help ,he has choosen to give them .i am praying it will not have be long term . i know what these mental health units for adults are like not very comforting ,thankfully the ones i have been in do have very caring staff whom if you ask for pastoral care will get it to you.

i am praying this mom gets all the support she needs and time to regroup so she can be the best mom she needs to be for all her children .i think some of us need to tell god were sorry for not helping her when she cried out for help. please forgive me for i know i am not a perfect person or parent .

Céline - posted on 10/02/2009

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Karina....Carol...AMEN!!!!! Thank you so much for making things ALOT mroe clearer for some. I had replied previously and i guess i was right. I hope this mom got the support and the help she needed and i agree that she NEEDS this time alone to regroup....maybe thats why God decided it was time for her daughter to be pulled out so mom and daughter can get the rest and help they need. I will say it again....everything happens for a reason.

[deleted account]

Having just read all of these posts, I have to say noone has the right to judge Lisa - until they have lived her life exactly as her life is now. If you believe in the Bible, you know that you know you have no right to judge anyone else at all. Everyone has limits and you do not really know what you would do in an identical situation because you aren't there. There have to some differences in her life and yours - in your child's behavior, your coping skills, the kind of support that you have, or something else. Just imagine what it must be like to be afraid of your own child - so afraid that you can't shut your eyes at night for fear that your child may sneak into your room and harm or even kill you. Imagine that you become so sleep deprived that you can't function at all - maybe even becoming seriously physically ill. I wouldn't be at all surprised if this mom goes through this frequently. I have known many parents who are completely overwhelmed because their child has such severe problems and/or because they have no support system and don't know how to get help and/or because they have their own physical or mental health problems and/or because they are having serious financial or relationship problems. There are all kinds of situations where a parent is not able to parent their child, no matter how much they want to or how much they love their child. And having worked with people who have harmed or killed their parents, I can tell you that many of these people become so mentally ill that they cannot live in society and have to live in locked mental facilities for the rest of their lives. If a child sees a parent not protecting themselves in a dangerous situation, the child will grow up thinking that it is okay for people to hurt each other, even for someone to hurt them. This is not what any parent wants their child to learn. Finally, a dead parent or a parent hospitalized with severe injuries cannot parent their child. Responsible parents protect themselves because it is the best thing to do for their child. This child is where she should be right now - both for her sake and for mom's sake. I want this mom to know that her daughter has some serious mental health problems that have a lot to do with her brain chemistry. And she can't blame herself for this. Mothers who do everything right - eat the right food, don't drink or smoke, etc. - still sometimes have a child with serious handicaps, including serious mental health problems. Noone can explain why one child has serious problems and another child is healthy. I want to applaud this mom for not trying to hide what is going on, for being strong enough to talk about the situation and ask for advice and support from others, and for taking care of herself so that she can help her child. Frankly I think that she must be an incredibly strong and loving mother for having gone through all of this for so long without giving up on her child. And I don't see any indication that she is giving up on her now. She is talking to childrens protective services and knows what is happening to her child. That mother must have some relief and rest for a while. Childrens services is giving her this opportunity. They are also giving her daughter help so that she can get better and hopefully eventually go home. I hope this mother keeps on reaching out to others, at least to those people who are kind and supportive. She will be in my prayers daily. And I also will pray for those who have so little understanding and are so aggressively critical.

Karina - posted on 10/01/2009

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I cant fond the reply you are talking about but I have read it. It made me feel more sad than angry. Did you see her previous cries for help???

I replied to one, I am new and when I looked back through earlier posts, I saw that she had made a post that no-one had even bothered to rely to.

I have copied them here so that you can all see that she tried to reach out and when she could get no help she has become depressed to a point of being so unsure of herself, that she thought that maybe she shouldn't have her daughter back.

I hope that seeing her posts might help everyone to see the whole picture and have a little bit of understanding. We all say things in the heat of the moment. I couldn't imagine deserting my kids but i'm sure we have all had moments in our lives when we've though "I can't do this".

Thank you for taking the time to read what I've had to say and I hope we can all continue to uplift and inspire and help one another.

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Lisa Davis
September 22, 9:44 am
(no moms have responded yet)

last wednesday my 13 year old was removed out of my care with challenging behaviours, kicking holes in walls, kicking the glass out, locking me out the house, threatening to self harm herself, pulling knives on me and the lastest is she wants to kill me this has not gone to well with police and departmant of child communities...feel so alone... never seen this in a child before.. a parent screams out for help and a crises esculates to my child removed out of care. how many parents are experiancing child safety intervention and how many autistic children act in this way or am i the only mum...
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Lisa Davis
September 22, 10:46 am
(3 moms have responded)
i feel as though i have had it tough...and looking at other mums and the problems they are having i feel i am not the only mum with problems... my child was diagonosed with a.d.h.d, p.d.d,odd in grade 2... until last christmas of admitting my child into chyms for an assestment she is p.d.d with sarcotic behaviours... her tantrums have esculated to i have been screaming for out for help in my own home...and because my childs behaviour has gone out of source and reasoning last wednesday child safety intervened and removed my child, my child in front of child safety pulled out a knife and tried to attck me...my daughter kicks holes in the walls, she is very tall for her age close to 6ft, and is 40kilos over weight...i have bin locked out of home by her...had knives pulled out on me...threatening to self harm her self...yet when she isnt in one of her moods she is the most beautiful girl out... loves to cook, funny...she is loud with talking but when she butters and manipulates a different person she baby talks...i am her mum and has to live with her 24-7...and when a parent ask for help there is nothing out there..till a crises happens and youi loose your child...

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You
September 22, 12:41 pm
I think the saying goes "If we all put our problems on a big table and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back." I'm sorry you have had such a hard time and hope you will be back with your daughter soon. As horrible as it may sound, take this time away from her as an opportunity to refresh yourself, find your feet and research more/new ways of helping her and yourself so when she comes back your ready to dive in and try different ways of avoiding her moods escalating to a point where she becomes out of control, and also things that can help you to cope when things go sour. Have you looked into specialized care where you can have 1 day per week/ fortnight/ month off? Every parent needs a little r&r from time to time. Never for feel guilty for wanting a break from time to time :)

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Alicia Moore
September 23, 1:47 am
Are you in the UK? If so you're the second mom to post something similar. There is no help available until it is too late. I'm so sorry you are living with this pain. I'm sure you miss her terribly despite her behavior. What is so sad is that if they had directed the money they will pay to keep her now to you earlier for therapy things might not have escalated to this point. It drives me nuts thinking about the kids who go undiagnosed and or untreated who could be helped. If there is a local paper or news station who would listen to your story then maybe you should talk to them. Increasing awareness is important. You should have received services before. Evidence is clear that children do better in home with therapy than in foster care. At the very least is she going to receive therapy now that she is in their care? I hope so for both your sake. I agree with Karina though. You should take advantage of a little down time and try to recharge so you're ready when she comes back. You might want to look into RDI therapy. It stands for relationship development Intervention and is usable at any age unlike ABA which is geared more toward young children. It is also something you can implement yourself with some reading and adjustments to your lifestyle. Good luck to you.

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Lisa Davis
September 23, 3:55 pm
thanks for the pick me up... i am in australia, child safety are enrolling her into an autistic school 2 days a week $75 a week.. and having a counsiller that deals with behaviour something like $400 for 1st consultation, Tony Attwood-minds and hearts... child safety slapt a 2yr protection order on her... feel like i have failed as a mother she is only 13yr old and feel like child safety are doing so much damage in this area, they want me to work with the department how can you when your child is else where...

Paula - posted on 10/01/2009

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this is so hard as everyone has such a different story. I would like to think I would take whatever I was given as my children mean the world to me. God wouldnt give me more than I could cope with (and I am not an active christian). For me,my children are a blessing and I see my daughters disability as a way to temper my own issues. It has made me a lot more positive as there is always someone worse off than me

Charity - posted on 10/01/2009

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You rock.....I have three kids on the spectrum and when I find myself getting frustrated with them I have to stop and step back and think "they can't help it ," It is harder for them. Som people are just selfish and can not put others needs in front of their own!! Someone who is not sure if they want to fight for their kid needs their head checked...Seriously why have kids if you are not willing to fight for them till the death??

Céline - posted on 10/01/2009

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Nicola...i agree with you.....as i did post the same thing on this thread. :)

Nicola - posted on 10/01/2009

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maybe this mother didn't have the right support for her and her child. i didn't read the post but i do think maybe this mother needed help and support for this child. she maybe had depression and wasn't thinking straight. no-one should judge unless they know absolutely everything!!

Linda - posted on 10/01/2009

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hello, i don't want to pass judgement but i do understand the fustrations that come along with a child that has special needs. if you don't have the right support it does make a difference. you feel like you are the only one and no one else understands what you are going through. and in todays society it is hard for exceptance. please don't give up the fight. you are your child's voice especially because they are so young. you need to find out what programs are offered in the stae, city, town or country that you live in. this will help you better. i just hope that you will continue to fight for your child. i know it is hard but there is help out there and the circle of moms is a good place to vent and get help. we all have been through it and are still going through it. just keep your head up and things will work out for the better.

Caroline - posted on 09/30/2009

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Hi there,

Just wanted to say WELL DONE!!!! I COULDN'T AGREE WITH YOU MORE!!

Yes life can be tough, and we have all had moments where we feel we just can't cope, but we DO cope, because they are our children and we love them!!!

I didn't see what this Mother wrote, but perhaps with some tough talking, alot of support, and love, this Mother won't be so quick to give up her child.

Lynn - posted on 09/29/2009

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Judy,

I didn't see the post that you needed to vent about however, I do understand your anger/frustration and quite agree. I have run into so many aspie parents who just don't care. Let the professionals deal w/it I've heard so many times it makes me sick. I will not sit here and ever say that it is easy but I to would never give up on my kids.

Céline - posted on 09/29/2009

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Well..since you are venting..i will vent to......how dare you judge other people? Who died and made you God? I have a son with AS also plus ALOT more mental and physical problems.... and i have been in this lady's shoes wondering if i should let me ex-husband take our son because i was affraid of losing it and hurting my child! Does that make me a bad mom?...HELL NO!! I had to hear that from 3 different therapist to finally accept i was human and that we ALL HAVE LIMITS!!!! Was i proud of myself to think that way?...do you think i was able to sleep at night peacefully while i was contemplating this decision? Hell no!
I agree that our children did not ask to be born....but we also did not ask to have special needs children either. I adopted my son and he came with ALOT of baggage that i did not ask when i made my request for a child. I paid a hefty price to adopt this child...money wise and health wise also.

You have to open your mind to see that not everyone is like you....not everyone is like me and each child is different. Did you go see this person and walked in her shoes and see why she was thinking ( or doing) this? Did you have a really heart to heart to find out everyhting about this mom? Maybe she did not have a support system..maybe she did not have the resources to find the answers she needs. I did not read her story and i am just assuming by the little you wrote.

I did not give up....i did what i had to do to get help..support and respite...otherwise it would have been impossible for me to continue being a mom to this child i adore as my own. I was lucky to have a very strong support system but for those who do not have any....yes i understand why they think about giving up. In some case....mother should giove up because the child is not getting everything they need to live the life they need to live. In many cases i saw...the parents were just hurting their child because they could not handle it anymore. Although i do not agree with physical or emotional harm..i agree that this child would be better off with someone who really is capable of taking care of a child with AS or any other disorder.
Was this woman you are talking about to hurt her child?...if yes...maybe then she was smart enough to think that maybe her child would be in better care with someone else than if the child stayed with her. Ever thought of that?

We all have our own limits....

Annette - posted on 09/29/2009

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I definately agree with you. Don't dwell on the past keep living in the future.It will get better. ALWAYS fight for your children.

[deleted account]

I totally agree,its quite simple realy,someone asked me the other day how did i cope,my reply was she is my daughter and i love her x

Judy - posted on 09/29/2009

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Quoting Alicia:

I have to say, I've been reading this board for months now and your message is the most aggressive negative post I've seen. A board like this should be a safe place for mothers to express their fear and pain. I agree with the sentiment of your message but not the way you presented it. One of the reasons this sight is so fabulous is because it is an open forum that so many mothers use in a positive way. I have read posts and wanted to reply like you did but I chose to temper my response and make the same point. If this board turns into what you just posted on a frequent basis I for one will no longer visit it. I have enough drama in my life. I don't need to read posts on this board that make me feel worse than I did when I logged on. Please understand this isn't about agreeing with her or not. It's about the type of helpful impressively positive an supportive board this is and keeping this board what it is. I didn't read the original post so I can't really understand what the context was but maybe she had a moment of weakness or doesn't believe she can keep her child and herself safe. Maybe your right and she shouldn't parent her now if that is the case. My point is we as mothers should be able to be honest in this forum and recieve constructive advice and critisism in return.
Thank you for reading my reply and I hope you will consider my point of view. All the best.



 



Alicia, I totally respect your point of view,  but I have seen so much, helped out mom's before who have multiple children with Autism,  watched their sacrifices, been through only a fraction of what they have been through, but have never heard them say  they wouldn't fight for their children if they needed to.  Was I aggressive? Ummm...yes! I was most certainly aggressive. Negative? No. The woman not fighting for her child is negative and the reason I did not post my original with hers as to protect her privacy. I was not put on this planet to judge, but there is NOTHING I would not do for my child.



 



Our children did not ask for Autism. Our children did not ask to be brought into this world. It is our responsibility as their parents to protect, love, teach, and nurture our children.  If this child who was taken by children services cannot count on her mother to protect her and keep her safe, tell me, what does that say to that child? That child does NOT have a voice, I spoke for her! If you were offended by my post, I apologize, but it was not directed at you. I will support any woman who asks me for help, we ALL need help sometimes. This woman did not even want help, she said 'she wanted to lock herself in her bedroom and ignore the problem.' To me, that is just twisted. I have replied to a few posts now, and have offered any information to the person asking that I may have learned along the way. I have seen nothing but support here....but this one post, not one comment was made about it and this woman should not have put herself out there if replies were not what she expected.



 



Even if a woman is doing wrong by her child but thinks it is in the best interest of the child, I would bow down to help. But this woman was wrong- they took her child- through her own admition- and no one replied. Let's tip toe around the subject, put our heads in the sand and pretend her child wasn't taken away....that will solve all of the problems. I am sorry, when I see wrong doing to a child, that child has no voice....if I was agressive and /or negative, well then, so be it! Again, I respect what you said and do not for a moment hold you in any hostility. It just irks me that  a mother would be so ignorant to her own child like that...especially since there are women in this world that would give anything for a baby, Autism or not. God Bless us all!





 

Alicia - posted on 09/28/2009

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I have to say, I've been reading this board for months now and your message is the most aggressive negative post I've seen. A board like this should be a safe place for mothers to express their fear and pain. I agree with the sentiment of your message but not the way you presented it. One of the reasons this sight is so fabulous is because it is an open forum that so many mothers use in a positive way. I have read posts and wanted to reply like you did but I chose to temper my response and make the same point. If this board turns into what you just posted on a frequent basis I for one will no longer visit it. I have enough drama in my life. I don't need to read posts on this board that make me feel worse than I did when I logged on. Please understand this isn't about agreeing with her or not. It's about the type of helpful impressively positive an supportive board this is and keeping this board what it is. I didn't read the original post so I can't really understand what the context was but maybe she had a moment of weakness or doesn't believe she can keep her child and herself safe. Maybe your right and she shouldn't parent her now if that is the case. My point is we as mothers should be able to be honest in this forum and recieve constructive advice and critisism in return.

Thank you for reading my reply and I hope you will consider my point of view. All the best.

Valerie - posted on 09/28/2009

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I am a single mom of a child w/ autism AND cystic fibrosis, and the idea that someone would not want to fight to fight for her child, quite frankly, makes me sick! I can't beleive that someone would want to give up on being a mother b/c its "hard." I think all my son's issues (and elieve me, there are tons!) make him the quirky, funny, intelligent, spirited young man he is, and I wouldn't change him for a second.

Shasta - posted on 09/28/2009

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I'm totally with you. I have 3 children on the spectrum and wouldn't change a one of them!

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