I don't know what to do, I'm at my wits end!

Kelly - posted on 05/05/2009

Well, hearing that makes me feel better too. My nephew has Aspeergers's. She is right on schedule!:) He started with the anger and moodiest at about the same age. He is 14 now and he is finally starting to settle down a little. However, it was a lot of work. We switched schools until we found one that worked for him. I read a book called Thinking in Pictures by Templeton Grand she is an adult with Aspergers. According to her you realize how different you are that you are not like the mainstream kids when you hit the teen years and your anxiety level is through the roof, and everything scares you. The book is so good and informative, it really gave me an insight with my nephew and how to deal with him and it gave me more compassion when I wanted to just scream and yell and tell him how ridiculous he was being!!!!!! The ANGER that you mention is describe as an afternoon thunderstorm quick and strong and when it's over it's over.
That is how my nephew is and leaves the rest of us drained and with hurt feelings.
The school difficulties you describe are normal for any teenager then add the aspergers and its a 1000 times worse, middle school didn't last for my mephew he came home from school early with headaches, 60 times. He went from straight A's to D's he barely passed. We pulled him and put him in a private school and it is perfect for him. He
is taking high school classes in 7th grade and doing wonderfully. So much more I can tell you if you have any question let me know.
The

Michele - posted on 05/04/2009

My son is 12 and is now on anti depressants. This helps with anxiety and depression. His fuse is much longer then it was before medication.

If you absolutely don't want medication you can consult with a naturapath and get help without pharaceuticals or a D.A.N. (defeat autism now) doctor.

Trina - posted on 04/27/2009

my son's name is Cameron :) I have always gotten down to her level and tried to talk her out of her meltdowns, and helped her breath thru more difficult times, but its not working anymore. Her behaviour has regressed to that of when she was 4 or 5, the difference being that she knows all my "tricks" and purposely avoids them. She's also got a shorter fuse than she did then.

As an example, we took both kids to the zoo yesterday - her decision - but the whole time we were there, she was testing her limits and constantly trying to get further away from her dad and I and go off on her own, typical 10 year old behavior. However, when we would tell her she was getting too far away, she would whine and cry and stomp her way back. Okay, fine, nothing out of the ordinary for her. We had sat down for a snack while we waited for our train ride and she finished early and went to play on the playground. When we finished, my husband called to her that it was time to go to the train, hurry up, and she responded with a top-of-her-lungs yell complete with ferocious attitude that she was putting her shoes back on. There was no lead up as there usually is in her melt downs. Normally I can stop them before they get to that point, but she's changed. She goes from completely calm to 100% melt down in seconds. Not only that, but she is ALWAYS given warnings when things are about to change (i.e. "you've got x amount of time before y happens) so that she knows and can make the transition without a melt down. But it doesn't seem to be enough anymore.

And because she knows what I am trying to do to get her calm, she won't come near me. If I tell her to breath and count to 10 (our usual method to come out of melt downs) she just yells at me and says that she KNOWS how to breath!

I have never been afraid to bring her anywhere before because I've always been able to talk her out her melt downs, but I am now honestly afraid to bring her anywhere lately because if things aren't "just so", she freaks out and I can't talk her out of it because she won't let me. And like I said, the little challenges that she mastered long ago have become HUGE issues - bigger than they ever were before.

I just don't know what to do with her or for her lately. The last month, things have gotten progressively worse. I don't know any other methods than what I've been doing and they don't seem to be working anymore.

Jennifer - posted on 04/27/2009

Hi, my son also does the same thing. He is 6. He has a meltdown at things such as the toothpaste, and there not being something he loves for breakfast & soforth. I come down to his level and hold his hands and say" Cameron, you are becoming a big boy and I cannot do all of these things for you all of the time. You need to slow down and try to do it yourself and calm down. I am here for you if you absolutely need the help but if you cry and whine about it, I can't help you. You have to ask nicely and w/out the screaming because that's not how you act. Use your manners and say Please." usually he will calm down and for the most part he will try whatever task he is doing on his own, & if he gets frustrated he'll say,"mommy, can you Please help me with my.......". I have to usually remind him a few times everyday but atleast the meltdowns have decreased. I hope this help.