I love the little things.

Candice - posted on 11/08/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

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Im so excited to tell people that my kids are achieving so much. Then they just look at me like. oh thats nice. It really gets to me. They don't know what we go through. You would think that your relatives would put more of a front for you but they don't. Grrrr. It hurts when people ignore how hard it is raise a child with autism. But I love the little things my kids do. Lillian age 6, make letters for her friends. then she folds them up like little envolopes. Joselyn, age 4, walked around the house muttering, I am a robot. I have waited so long for a little bit of normal. I get brought to tears thinking about all they have overcome. Why can't people just atleast pretend to be happy for me, huh?

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Candice - posted on 11/13/2009

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Guys, thanks from the bottom of my heart. You brought tears of joy to my eyes and i loved hearing about your little things. Josey can say her name when asked, she learned it on monday. My husband actually got a good call from lillian's school, telling him how wonderful she is doing. I really cannot thank you guys enough for the support. Thanks again!

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Other people just do not fully understand and never will because they haven't been there. Even with neurotypical kids, we need to appreciate the little things. I keep a list of all the accomplishments that my grandson (whom I have been raising since he was 8), has made. When I get discouraged, I look at that list and always feel better. Most of the changes have been tiny ones. But, my grandson started high school this year and is suddenly a totally different kid. He had always hated school and was a behavior problem at times, didn't learn too read until 5th grade (the year that I home-schooled him), had no friends, wouldn't respond when someone talked to him, etc. etc. I had an IEP meeting with all of his teachers about 2 weeks ago and they all remarked about how he has changed this year. He has friends, voluntarily participates in class, is polite and respectful, and actually seems to enjoy school. He had all A's and B's and a lot of positive comments on his most recent report card. I know that all of those teeny, tiny steps in the past made this big leap possible. I can see positive changes at home too. I am proud of him and brag about him constantly, but only to those people who do understand - a close friend who is a foster mom and has had many kids with special needs, another friend who also has a son with Asperger's, my grown daughter, who took made the effort to learn more about Asperger's. I can't tell you how much I appreciated her doing that. I know that it has made us even closer. And I always make sure that I tell my grandson's doctor, his occupational therapist, and our mental health counselor about his progress - whether it is something small or a big thing. They always take the time to listen and share my joy. I am lucky to have these kind of professionals in my life. I hope that knowing about my experience will help you. Hang in there. Find supportive people. I and the other mothers here are there for you. And remember that all of those tiny steps are really important. Don't let anyone else make you think that they aren't.

Judi - posted on 11/13/2009

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Gotta love the Wiggles, my son's nickname by a few girlfriends was "happy feet" becuase he was all dance and no talk. Yesterday he said Mummy's name is Judi" and I'm still skipping.



Yay the little things

Stacey - posted on 11/13/2009

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I know exactly what you mean, my son is 2 1/2 and has been mostly non-verbal, but he has just started saying 'toot-toot' for train noise and says 'go-go-go' which he learnt from wiggles, and my husband sit there and get him to do it all the time and we are so happy and so proud, but to anyone else it is no big deal because their kid was probably doing that 6 months earlier or sooner, we also get such a kick out of watching him do things such as trying to copy the wiggles dance or doing somersaults or giving us thumbs up etc. Sometimes If he is being particularly animated or doing new things I will stop what Im doing and just watch him and savour it because I dont take ANYTHING for granted anymore. I think this is just part of the gift of having an Autistic child, they bring our love and emotions to a whole other level and they make us stronger, they challenge us and we take on the challenge and we savour the rewards.

Renee - posted on 11/12/2009

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They don't get it sweetie! They just don't get it. Almost all of my relatives just give me that blank stare like "okay" whenever I tell them something that my son did but when my daughter does something (she is not affected by autism) then it's like she won the Nobel Peace Prize. It's very frustraing I agree. And then my son can speak foreign languages and has autism and then they say well then he's like Rainman so he'll be fine. Right I don't think so. I can never win. I have to agree I love the little things both kids do and when one child compliments the other that's MY moment to win as a parent. We are dong it right. The rest of the world just doesn't know it.

Lisa - posted on 11/10/2009

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Thank God for the little things, because it makes all the rough days worth it. I have celebrated every little milestone my son acheived. His most recent acheivement is adding and carrying double digit numbers independently. Woo Hoo we celebrated all over our apartment. My neighbors must think we're a little nuts, ha ha but it is the best feeling to see him accomplish the little things. Everyone Rejoice in what our children have accomplished and all of the great little things that are to come.



Take note you are not alone and keep on celebrating. :-)

Christina - posted on 11/09/2009

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These are all great things and definitely something to look back on be thankful for when you/they are having a rough day!!!!

As silly as it seems, if you are into scrapbooking, you could take pictures of them doing the little things and make a page/week/kid...It would be a great way for you to reflect back on :)This does take time, but does help on the rough days....If you don't have the time, $, etc, write it on a calendar or in a journal. I used to think it was silly, but it really does help :-/

Brenda - posted on 11/09/2009

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Amen you said it all Magen :)
We are there for anyone, whether you need support, a shoulder to cry on, or someone to vent with. Its a great Circle :)

Magen - posted on 11/09/2009

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You can tell us and we WILL be excited for you. I completely understand what you are saying. I remember telling a friend that my little one told me he had to go potty which was HUGE for him and she just looked at me like so he's 5 he should do that. But the little things are big to us and you have a large group here who understand that saying "I want juice" can make your whole day. Or playing with another child, or any new little thing that they didn't or weren't able to do before makes you want to have a parade. We get it and we are just as happy for your child as you are because we are there or we've been there. You can try to explain to your family that these may seem like small things but to you they are big, it may help. Sometimes people don't understand because they aren't there. I know that we can't replace your family and I hope that they can begin to see you need more from them but you do have us and our joy isn't pretend. YAY! for your little ones and let us know what happens next.

Sheila - posted on 11/09/2009

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I realized when my son finally used a spoon (I can see it in my mind, age 3.5) that I didn't remember when my first child used a spoon. It was expected that she would use a spoon, and it went unnoticed...it was just the way it was supposed to be. It took my second child with ASD to teach me that every little accomplishment is a moment of celebration (for typical and non-typical children.)

For both, I CELEBRATE!! It is beyond wonderful that my oldest child can tie her shoes and absolutely wonderful that my little guy can pull that velcro strip by himself...

Candice, even though we are not there physically, we all share your joy when your child accomplishes that which brings you joy! Post it here, and let the hoorays follow!

Have a wonderful day with your fantastic kids!

Sheila

Kim - posted on 11/09/2009

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That must be very difficult. The "little" things are actually big things and you should continue to share even with family. Maybe you should also let them know how you feel. You should try to describe to them what you go through everyday (even if you think they won't want to hear it). Take it from me, sometimes you need to express yourself, otherwise, sometimes people don't even realize they're hurting your feelings.

Brenda - posted on 11/09/2009

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I've had 13 years of small things and even to this day I celabrate something he would do unexpectedly, like try a nibble of popcorn. Mommy at age 4, 2 week before Mothers day was my tear jerker. Some people do appreciate what we go thru and celebrate them with us. Don't let the ignorant ones get you down even if they are family. Until they put in a day with your child they will prob never understand. Its okay, in my book thats their loss, because the small steps we celebrate make being the parent of our special child that much more rewarding. Remember God Blessed us with them and he knows how special we are, because he gave them to us for safe keeping. God Bless and much patience and not just with our children :)

Judi - posted on 11/08/2009

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Being called mummy is a small thing, it was the BEST christmas present I ever had. Singing the wheels on the bus song, best Birthday present I ever had. "I want.." nearly caused a celebration to rival the opening of the olympics it's the small things that are the best.
Have a break and cheer for your kids, tell us we'll listen and celebrate with you - I'll get my son to help make a cake (but we're working on fine motor at the moment).

Stacey - posted on 11/08/2009

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I love the little things too! My son has serious food issues and has lived on a diet of relatively the same 10 foods for the past 6 years. I threw a party for him the first time that he tried spaghetti sauce (although he still prefers it plain). He got another celebration the first time he tried ketchup (his first and only dipping sauce). People look at me like I'm crazy... but the small things are the things to celebrate and they're what gives you hope. Good luck to you on your journey... never stop celebrating the small things in life!

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