I need advice on my son's behaviour

Kay - posted on 04/19/2012

Hi

I just wanted to say thank you very much for replying to my post, and so quickly too.

It is always so difficult to know what to do for the best, but I have made an appointment with our doctor and will definitely ask for a referral, as we don't know where to go next and how to cope with some of my son's behaviour. We just want him to be happy and although he says he is, he never looks or seems it and I think that is the worst thing for us, as we just want him to be happy and we want to be able to get the help that we all need, as it is just as important for us to know how to deal with the behaviour as it happens so that we are not making matters worse.

I will definitely be buying a stress ball as the way he is, I think this would be really beneficial as I sat watching him last night and I think this would be something that a) he would use and b) would be very beneficial and helpful to him, so thank you very much for your tips and helpful comments, I shall let you know how we get on with the doctor and hopefully and subsequent referral. Thanks again.

Sarah - posted on 04/16/2012

the symptoms of aspergers mild or otherwise vary so much child to child, that while yes it does sound like he may have aspergers (I can't speak to adhd), whithout seeing him in person most of us wouldn't be able to say with certainty if he did. The best thing to do would be to see your doctor, I would be asking for referals not only to the paediatrician but also to a psychologist who specialises in children on the autism spectrum, because getting in to see a specailist can take quite a while, and ultimately if he is mild it may take a specialist to be able to accuratley diagnose him. and really the most important thing is to have him diagnosed no matter what that may meen so that the help he needs inside and ouside school is started as quickly as possible. In the meen time some things that may help in class, during times when he is expected to simply sit and listen, allowing him to fiddle with something like a stress ball, will give him a task for his hands and should help with the fidgeting. somewhere he can go and sit quietly to calm him down like a reading corner in the class, but don't just send him there with nothing to do, again come up with something to keep him busy like those counting blocks they have in class rooms, tell him to make groups of 1 thousand of each type or something, but something that engages his mind as well as his hands, but is also simple reppetative and has some sort of pattern (if he has aspergers he will likely love patterns). but also remember that somtimes the fidgeting is a stress relief for them, so if pacing while reading helps, let him. my son bounces while playing xbox, which means much to his disapointment kinect isn't for him, but it gives him a physical activity while he consentrates. ultimatley as you have found negativity doesn't work, try to shift focus rather than chastise (why don't we do maths now for a while, and try writing again later) but really play up and emphasise when he does something right. That is not to say if he does something naughty ignore it, but try to word things in a positive manner. If he has aspergers he will have problems with understanding and interperating facial expressions and emotions, so while you or I would see and understand the looks someone gets as they gradually get frustrated and angry, a person with aspergers will miss that entirely and will be shocked that suddenly someone yelled at them for no reason they can see. They have trouble expressing their own emotions as well so things like crying biteing etc will result when they don't know how else to express themselves, because ultimatly they are simply frustrated. I really hope you find some of this helpful.

Terrie - posted on 04/16/2012

My son does most of these things and he has mild to moderate Autism. He has a speech delay though. Yes, he does need to see someone to be tested.