Is anyone having trouble with potty training their child with pdd/nos

Kristen - posted on 04/20/2012

My son is 10 years old and also diagnosed with PDD-NOS. He is very smart but has difficulty understanding other people's emotions and a hard time making friends.

At 10 years old, he still refuses to use the potty and is in pullups. Even worse, he enjoys the feeling of having a dirty pullup and when he is asked to change it he denies even having soiled it. I must insist and argue with him to get him to change it. I am at my wits end. We have talked to counselors and therapists and doctors and they only answer we have gotten is that it is a comfort thing to him and something that only he has control of.

It drives me crazy. I think after dealing with it for so many years now with no solutions I have gotten used to it but it is no less disgusting.

I am a single parent and do this all on my own and I am exhausted all of the time.

Hoping that someone else has been through this and has some advice.

Thanks!!!

Erin - posted on 03/06/2012

I put my son in underwear when we were home. After a few accidents he relised he hated being wet. So what he would do is pull them down and go on the floor (messy yes but I just cleaned it up). I kept a close eye on him and then when I would catch him doing it I would say no,no, no in the potty and stand him in front of it then he would finish going in there. Then I started putting him in front of it periodically sometimes he'd go, sometimes not. If we went out he wore underwear. He would try before we left and when we reached our destination, wherever it was. I would always pack extra clothes just in case. And after a while he just went on his own. I think the potty training needs to be super consistant with children in general especially kids on the spectrum. I've never been a fan of pull-ups (except at night). I think it prolongs everything. Just be patient it will happen.And ignore the comments. Some kids who aren't autistic aren't potty trained until 4 or 5.

Artzone - posted on 03/06/2012

Hi i have a 5 year old daughter who is not pottie trained yet but she gose number one in her pottie chair when she wants too. We can't ask her to try or even force her to try. Dose not work. She has to be willing to do it on her own. She wort go on the big pottie with out reason we don't know why she can't tell us. We did have her going pottie on the Big pottie before we moved but then we had to start over with when we moved to a new place. With the PDD i know it takes time and just a working progress and some day she will get it again i hope any way.

Alicia - posted on 09/15/2009

The first thing that came to my mind was to tell the other parents to shut the hell up but that's probably not very productive. Satisfying maybe but not really helpful. :) Birgit's response was much more appropriate and right on. I can't really offer advice on the potty training aspect because mine isn't there yet either. I just wanted to comiserate on the frustration of other parents. Sometimes I just want to yell at the top of my lungs so everyone can hear me "seriously people if you don't have an autistic child don't judge".

Kari - posted on 09/14/2009

boys in general have a harder time potty training than girls. My son was potty trained by 3 and half, but it was extremely hard. at the time I had a daycare in my home and being on the Autisic Spectrim didnt help much. I had some early childhood education and learned that in a lot of boys they feel that the poo is a part of their body, it is scary when they have to flush it away. that is usually the hardest part. I did a lot of saying "goodbye poo poo!" and making it a big deal. i used to keep a bowl of cheerios and fruit loops in the bathroom too so that it made aiming fun. Not everything works for every kid, you just have to find what works for yours. You will find that out with everything in life that he will have to learn.

Holly - posted on 09/14/2009

My son was a late trainer to. One day I ran out of diapers and just put him in underwear and only put him in a diaper at night. Granted we had tons of accidents but after a month and constant putting him on the potty we where trained. At the time I was not aware he had PDD but it worked. Try it for a day make sure you have plenty change of cloth and carpet cleaner. I started with every 5mins, then after a day or 2 I moved it to 10 and continue up till he was train at about every hour to 2. He did not ware a diaper after about 6month of training. Trust me hide the diapers and don't give in. Good Luck..

Erin - posted on 09/14/2009

I am having the same problem with my 4 year old son. But remember this takes time and patience. Right now I am working on timing. He gets up we go, done with breakfast we go, before we leave to go anywhere we go, and so on. Kids with autism love a routine. I hope you all the best.

Angela - posted on 09/13/2009

My son who had dx of pdd/nos also was hard to train. He was 4 before we really started to see him want to potty train. He trained for pee pee eaiser than he did poop. I told him that if he would poop in the potty i would give him an sucker and it finally clicked with him. He even tried to poop even we he didnt need to get a sucker. It just takes longer with special needs kids. I know other people's comments can be frustrating.

Tina - posted on 09/13/2009

Yes, Potty training is not FUN! My son will be 5 at the end of September and he knows what to do but, has no desire to go. I am using the reward system too. I made a special rewards box with his favorite things in it. They are starting tomorrow in school. WE will see!

Renna - posted on 09/11/2009

great response heather. i agree, don't let anyone tell you about raising a child unless they can walk ten mile in your shoes. my asd 7 yr old son still has no idea bout no 2 or wiping n i been trying since he was 2. We just trundle along every day n when he's ready he'll start i guess. Finding his trigger would be great cause it's becoming a problem at school though. I use womens pads with wings in his undies, seems to help a little.

Heather - posted on 09/08/2009

I know this might not offer much comfort but sometimes other parents don't have a clue. They don't know your child or your situation. Have you tried letting your son pick out a potty chair or potty seat? Have you tried letting him stand up, perhaps on a little step stool? Sometimes it is the sensory issues that make this process most difficult - they just don't like the feel of the potty!
My oldest son has Asperger's Syndrome and Sensory Integration Disorder and was not potty trained until after he was 4 years old. We tried just about everything we could think of but nothing worked. We finally realized that he did not like the feel of the seat on his behind, no matter what kind we tried. Once he learned to pee while standing he was able to stay dry during the day. However, he wore Pull-Ups at night and that is when he would have his bowel movement - in the Pull-Up. It took a while but he learned to squat over the seat or just barely sit on the seat. He still does that to this day. The flush used to bother Zachary, too, but he learned that covering his ears made it better. It was a volume issue for him. Now we are having trouble with him wiping after he uses the toilet. He just doesn't like the feel of the TP or the flushable wipes.
This is not an easy process for the parents, either. Patience, patience, patience. That, along with good ear plugs to drown out the advice of others.

Elizabeth - posted on 09/05/2009

hi debbie liz here from ireland . dont mind everybody else yes you probley heard this a millon times over .but yes there is allways a but if you asked all yours families and friends woulds they tell you that they were having problems with there kids about this that or the other no because there kids are perfect and your child is the only one with a special need .so let all the other mothers go on about how great there kids are .and you can go on to them about how great your son is at drifferent things and i bet there kids might not be able to do some of the things your son can.because debbie to me thats what makes the world go round.we all have our thing in life we are good at no mather what age we are.so weather it's toilet traning or running the country each person on this earth has a purpose. so don't mind all the perpect mothers with there pertect toilet trained kids.my son karl is 4+4mths and is only starting to use the toilet now. your son will get there in his own time.keep in touch liz .xxxxxxx

Alison - posted on 09/04/2009

Hiya, I can totally emphasise with you!. Ny daughter was five years old before she was totally clean and dry. nothing worked, bribes, she just did not understand, star charts were just alien to her, she didn't care if she was wet or dry and would happily sit in a dirty diaper all day if we let her!.We were at a loss,but we just kept on and on, my god, we were pulling our hair out and totallly despairing. Then , one day, out of the blue, she just went to the toilet, it was a bit hit and miss after that mind you and she is 6 now and still has trouble letting go of number twos, but oh the joy of no more pull ups and hardly any wet beds, lol. I know this isn't a fix it, but patience does pay off in the end and I am not the most patient of people.By the way, we started toilet training at two years old and she didn't hasve a clue what was expected of her, but we just kept on trying. I know this post probably won't help you much but you are not alone with this problem. Good luck x (ps, our daughter wa a prem, born at 25 weeks gestation and she has "autistic traits", but has no statement as yet)

Liz - posted on 09/04/2009

Hi Debbie,
My daughter has that plus autism. It's frustrating, but the key is keep after them and don't overwhelm them. It's hard. My daughter just turned 5 in July and is just figuring out the potty training. She's done it on her own which I'm very thankful for. Also, it took a certain person in her life (in her case daddy) to put the foot down and say "you will do this, period" and she did. It was really hard at first and we started that at the beginning of this year. She figured out #1 easily. We still had trouble with #2. We still have the occasional accident, but for the most part she is officially potty trained. Hang in there, he'll get it.

Sara - posted on 09/04/2009

My son is 23 wks and I have just started potty training him and I use his potty I put his play mat down n his potty on that in front of the telly in the morning after he has had his breakfast I cheak him every so often n wen he has been to the toilet I make a big fuss about it n my so likes to do a little song n dance I will try anything that will help

Cindy - posted on 09/04/2009

My son is 7 and was potty trained during the day by age four mostly due to school issues. He still wears pull-ups at night. We have taken away his liquid intake one and a hlf hours prior to his bedtime, but he continues to have accidents. He doesn't do this every night, sometimes he wakes up and uses the bathroom at night. I have spoken to his doctor concerning this issue. The doctor says it is normal for a boy with an Autism Spectrum Disorder to continue to have accidents at night up until age 10. However, if it bothers the parent to have to continue this long in pull-ups there are medications available to control his incontinence at night. Being a nursing student, I'm not really prepared to stick him on pills at this time to fix something that is typical for a child in his situation. And it doesn't bother him to continue to wear pull-ups, so I'm letting it work itself out.

Tara - posted on 09/03/2009

I am having the same problems with my son who is 4 and a half. He has PDD/NOS also and has the desire but not the ability. He wants to go on the potty, he will sit and try but he can not tell he has to go until it is too late. I've deceided to take a break from it and when he is ready, try again. Don't worry about what other people think, who cares? You have to worry about what is best for your son. Rushing it may only make it worse. My sons behavior therapist recommended using the picture system to explain it in a little more detail to him so he sees what is being explained. I hope this helps!

Kay - posted on 09/03/2009

I used books and videos to gently introduce the concept to my daughter, and she was trained by about three. She's very visual, so that worked with her. If flushing is scary, maybe try a potty seat in a totally different room, just to get him started. Instead of rewards, you might want to use incentives, such as he earns video time, or whatever, by just sitting on the potty. It might also help to have books for him to look at while he sits, so it's less boring.

Sara - posted on 09/03/2009

our son was also not trained until he was 4 & 1/2, but his, I think, was due to having undx'd absence seizures. Once the neurologist put him on meds for that it was maybe a week and he hasn't looked back since. Night time took abit longer...but I've notice he learns many things like that- we can work and work on something, but all of a sudden he just masters it. Even for NT kids 4 is not that late in the boy world.

Birgit - posted on 09/01/2009

Remember that your son is developmentally delayed. This is part of the Autism Spectrum diagnosis he received. So while chronological age may be 4, his developmental age may only be that of a 2 or 3 year old. do we expect 2 year old children to be fully potty trained? Of course not. You do not need to be embarassed about your son's Autism. Tell people who make comments that he was diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder and use this opportunity to educate them.

Donna - posted on 09/01/2009

I think this is fairly common, due to their sensory imput issues.  Just hang in there.

Angela - posted on 09/01/2009

I know what your feeling. My ASD son was not trained til 4 years and only because I pushed it for school reasons. Luckily he seemed ready at that point. He is 8 now but still wears pullups at night because he still has accidents. He drinks too much due to being thirsty from, i think, his medication. The wierd thing is, is that my non ASD boy was not trained until 5 when he started going to preschool. My sister also had problems with her daughter who is 5. I think you need to do what is best for you. Some kids just need a little more time. And yes I know that is what everyone says. I know when I was in your boat I just wanted it over but had to chose my battles. I always wonder what other people think of me but I have learned not to care so much because as long as you are doing the best you can, you are doing more than some others. They have no idea til they step in your shoes. Good Luck.