just found out my son is on the Autism Spectrum/Asbergers

Heather - posted on 03/17/2010 ( 33 moms have responded )

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I am a single mother of a 9 year old that just got digianosed with being on the Autism Spectrum/ Asbergers. My son has has delays since the day he was born. But I seems to not be able to get the answers to what was going on with him. All they would say was it is a specific Learning disitbilty. I have a really good friend that has a son with autism and I have learned alot from her and seeing some of the same signs in my son. So I finally got the school to do the Gars 2 and well that was just a questioniare that I and the teachers filled out.. Neatless to say that test was not correct cause the teachers go by what they see since he has a set schedule in the classroom. So there was a new test that came out called the ADOS. And they Have a Autism team that acually does a test and different things.. This is where I finally got answers to what was going on. I really not good at writing notes or letters so I hope this makes sense. But if any one has any advice for me I would be more then happy to hear it. Like things I could do to help my child out.

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Francie - posted on 03/20/2010

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Pick up a copy of Tony Atwood's Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome. When my son was diagnosed, I bought a copy and felt like it was the missing owners manual. Suddenly a lot of my son's behaviors made sense. I also realized some of the things we were doing that made his life more difficult and have tried to change those things. (As a small example, I used to try to keep our destination a secret when we went on short car trips - like to get ice cream - to build the excitement. Turns out, that was truly distressing for him not to know what to expect next when he got in the car.)

Heather - posted on 03/28/2010

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It is very hard.. I am a single mother with barely anyone to help me thru this... So this is a very nice website to get some advice and someone to talk to that is going thru the some thing... Thank you so much...

Lori - posted on 03/23/2010

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Contact your local mental health facilities. Programs like MHMRA and Tri County for further assistance. Obtain a therapist. Consider VitaSpectrum (a multi vitamen for children in the Autism Spectrum available through Rockwell Nutrition online) Consider the Gluten/Casein Free Diet, above all love your child to death and try to provide as "normal" of a life as human possible for your son. Remember that the severity of Autism is a wide spectrum and that every case is different but you are most definately NOT alone. Fighting a public school system is extremely difficult but if private school is out of your means as a single parent, there are ways to fight the system. www.momsfightingautism.com www.autismspeaks.org www.autismcaresorganization.org I hope that this helps.

Lisa - posted on 03/20/2010

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When I first heard my son had Aspergers Syndrome I bought the book by Tony Atwood and I broke down and cried by paragraph 3! What a HUGE weight was lifted from me, the puzzle had a name! Then we could work with it!! What wonderful advice!

Heather - posted on 03/19/2010

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I have to get a officially diagnosed from the Dr. My son is currently seeing a therpist/counseling out of school. So wish me luck.. Thank you so much for your advice

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Kristy - posted on 10/01/2012

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I just found out that my 13 year old son has aspergers. It is so frustrating because all i hear from the teachers at his school is how the district doesn't recognize aspergers! It may not recognize it but his IEP can be goals aimed for what he needs to be successful!

Heather - posted on 03/28/2010

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I am also a single mom... Also my son was 4lbs 15oz 18inches long when he was born... I was very very sick when I was pregnet with him..I have filed for social security for him that was about two month befor I got the answer that he is on the autism spectrum... So now I have to Appeal... I just did that... Also as for the autism support group there is none here... My son counselor is going to see about getting one going soon...I have filed for Statewide family support program... It helps out with respite care/babysittin for you to have time for yourself/ also helps out with all kinds of things...So I hope that I get it... There is a cconvention coming up in june that is for parents with children with austism that I will be going and that program will help pay for that...Thank you for responding...

Heather - posted on 03/28/2010

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Well right now He isn't doing so well with the sticker and prizes... It will work for a few days then he is done for a while...I believe He already has me in the poor house...LOL...Well sure hope you are doing good and the kids>>> Hope to hear from you soon..

Betsy - posted on 03/24/2010

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NC has a TEACCH program for Autistics/ASD Aspergers. I advise ABA training if available in your area. My son is 25 but more Moderatly Autistic as his diagnosis. Needless to say there is alot more out there now than when my som was diagnosed @ 2 & 1/2. TEACCH here is mainly from Chapel Hill. NC. They do testing jus tspecifically for autistics & a non verbal IQ.
Hope this helps.
Love,
Betsy

Lynn - posted on 03/24/2010

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We found out our son has aspergers last year right before he entered pre-k. It was devastating and we cried for days. I bought all of the books and read way too much online. I freaked myself out, and he knew it and responded to my anxiety in a very negative way. We finally realized that overanalyzing the diagnosis was the worst possible avenue we could take. We live day to day and treat him no differently than we had prior to the diagnosis. The best advice I ever got was to not let the title become the child. Instead of replying to a negative situation with, 'oh, he has aspergers. that's why he is reacting this way,' we respond with the same actions as we would with our younger child who is not on the autism spectrum. That is the hardest part...differentiating your behavior between children and not letting the diagnosis describe you. It is best to take it one day at a time and consistently praise those great moments while downplaying the more disappointing ones. Keeping our routine consistent is also key; Valo strives in the expected and we try our hardest to keep that expectation fulfilled. I hope this helps and just remember, as much as you may feel alone in this world struggling to do the right thing as a parent with a child with aspergers, there are always people out there who can relate and understand how difficult this world can be. Best of luck.

Karen - posted on 03/24/2010

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I would immediately find a DANS (Defeat Autism Now) Doctor and get your son started on a biomedical diet. This will bring such improvement in him and it is usually the first step in recovery, YES, recovery! My grandson in on a Gluten free casein free diet and is getting detoxed this week. He has shown so much improvement that now he is only getting speech and occupational therapy until his speech returns.

CHANCE - posted on 03/24/2010

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My daughter was diagnoses PDD/ODD which is also in the Autistic Spectrum. I only got these diagnoses after being very stubborn and not taking NO for and answer. I knew something was wrong and I kept on my pediatrician and he kept sending me to specialist until I finally was sent to a neurologist who gave me the correct diagnosis. There began my journey of being able to use state programs of therapy. Speech therapy, special instruction, swing therapy, weight therapy (sitting weights or weighted objects on their laps to help them feel grounded). There is help out there. Call your local health department, ask your ped. for specialists in the area or even a small drive from your area that have programs for kids like ours. We are the ones that have to put in the work. I actually had to install a circular swing in my daughters room from the ceiling for a while she was young so she could calm her self down and install special locks on the doors so she couldn't escape but she was much younger than your son (around 3 at the time) but today you would barely know she was ever effected by the disorder!!!!!! She is in special ed for reading and she loses her temper quickly but to the outside world......they see her as "normal." It can be fixed. It just takes a LOT OF THERAPY!

Katy - posted on 03/23/2010

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My daughter was recently laced on the spectrum with pdd because she fit in all aspects of this scale, and she has had the same issue with delays. Her school here in OHIO is trying to not put her on an IEP but rther try a 504 plan. This provides her with whatever tool she may need to learn and to excel in academics. A good movie to check out is Temple Grandin. It is about a girl with autism. It is great.

Shirley - posted on 03/23/2010

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Im a single mom with an Autistic 12 yr old.He was very premature. Also being single it's tough,not sure of your situation but he could get Social Security.There is alot of resources out there.Im in GA but try looking up resources in your area.We have an Autism support Group here in town. look online for an Autism Center.Good luck and be strong.

[deleted account]

It has taken a few years but finally more is coming available to those of us with special children. Our problem was the expenses for extra help. Now more programs are becoming more available with out extra cost except time. We are so blessed because this year my son is in a special classroom for Autistic children at his own school. With that program comes home training too. They are a team from Massachusetts(NECC). I don't know where you are from, but I'm sure there are more similar teams around. Finding a support group is excellent advice. I personally have seen changes in my son from putting him on a special diet for about three years now. My neighbor battles with Aspergers also. She too has become more and more aware of a healtier diet. There is alot of information to be found on line. Every child is different so read,pray and try what may help your child the most. And you are the one who knows your child best.

Stacey - posted on 03/23/2010

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I my oldest child with autism is 7 he is doing wonderful at the age of 2 he was considered sever but now hes mild and they have diagnosed him with Asbergers. but my now 3 yr old has just been diagnosed with Autism so its a hard one to deal with

good luck to you and your family

Tara - posted on 03/23/2010

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Once my son was diagnosed, we discovered that my husband is an "aspergian" too. It's been such a blessing to have someone in the house that can communicate with him on his level, so I think my best advice would be to join a group (an autism support in your area could help with that) and get to know other parents and kids with aspergers. John Elder Robison (author of Look me in the eye) says that people on the spectrum sort of have their own level of communication...I believe that to be true.

Another blessing for us is, since journaling with my boys each night, we have developed a level of understanding that I had been missing for 7 years (prior to his diagnoses).
I used to tell him that his "gift" of aspergers makes him a genius...now he tells me that we are both geniuses because as he is becoming in his words "more normal" I am becoming "more aspergian". I believe the true genius is in discovering and appreciating the unique brilliance in every one of us :o)

Jennifer - posted on 03/23/2010

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My son was 11 when he was diagnosed and my whole world changed. Those things he did that you just didn't understand will now be understandable. I used to think is he just being difficult and why? Now I know. It takes a lot of patience and counting to 10 but you can make his life so much easier by just learning what he needs. I have 4 other children and it is hard for them sometimes because he is different and needs things to be a certain way. It has been 4 years now and we have all gotten into a system of what works and what doesn't. He now has 2 very good friends who understand and deal with the little things. It will get easier. LOTS of research and talking to counselors but he can and will have a full and happy life. Good Luck.

Noraidah - posted on 03/22/2010

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I know it's hard to have child like that but I find a ebook that could help you.The writer got Academically Qualified With 13 Years Experience As Both A Mother And A Consultant To Parents.The ebook title is Autism, Aspergers, Asd - Help And Advice For Parents.Go to this http://a961c77z6copc08inj-fdw0m6u.hop.cl...

Heather - posted on 03/22/2010

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Find out if there is an organization that has people who are basically advocates for the children. Here in Wyoming its called Uplift, but there should be something similar where you live and they will help you get the diagnosis and help making sure the school works with any problems/disabilities he may have. I hope this helps.

Nissa - posted on 03/22/2010

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Look Me in the Eye was written by the brother of the guy who wrote Running with Scissors
I agree that it's a great book

Dawn - posted on 03/22/2010

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The book "Look Me In The Eye" is an autobiography of a man who was not diagnosed until his 40's. It is an incredible book that helped me see what an Aspie actually thinks in different situations...my son is 4 and diagnosed with Asperger's and I found it very helpful!

Nissa - posted on 03/22/2010

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First off BIG HUG. In some ways it was hard to not know why my son was different from his brother and then when I found out it was hard knowing why he was different. No matter what remember that your child is still perfect but now you will know why he does the things that he does.
And don't forget to breathe!
Soren (my son) is only in first grade so he hasn't gotten really picked on yet but I still worry about the future when kids start to realize that he is different than them and he can be looked at as a potential target.
The best advice I got from a parent was that while your kid is fighting to function sometimes every day, you will have to fight that much harder to get your kid the help that he needs.
If you ever need anything whether it's advice or just humor or a shoulder to cry on just holler.

[deleted account]

It sounds like you're off to a good start. When he is diagnosed, the doctor will probably give you an information packet with websites and local resources. I'm glad you're enjoying the book you got, but don't stop there. You will soon find that everyone has an opinion!

Lisa - posted on 03/22/2010

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We had star and flag stickers!! Careful with this though, the prizes get more expensive as they grow up! lol.. my son now demands 20 dollars for every A on the report card and 10 for every B in each marking period! The video game prizes are rocking me to the poor house too!

Heather - posted on 03/22/2010

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Thank you!!! I have apicture chart up and if he does good I put a sticker on for the behavior or chore and after so me many he gets to choose from a prize box... We are working on the rotine. but he has been very sick for the last week. So not going the best right now....

Tiffany - posted on 03/22/2010

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My 3 year old was diagnosed with ASD/PDD. Keep strong through all the appointments and everything. I to am a single mom and its a lot of hard work but so worth it! My sister went to the library for me and got a bunch of books to learn more and for the life of me I can't remember thier titles. But read up as much as you can, pay as close attention to the therapists to try and mimic it at home, and remember to breathe. :) I hope this helps.

Alison - posted on 03/22/2010

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Have a daily routine!! Warn him of ANY change to the routine. PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE!! Catch him being GOOD. Post GOOD things on a praise board/wall/fridge. Hope i helped.
Alison, Asbergers Mom of a 13 year old girl.

COLLEEN - posted on 03/21/2010

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My 10 yr old son was diagnosed with ASD and obsessive compolsive disorder only last yr, We have been tring to get him diagnosed since preschool, he now gets extra help at school for his social skills, He is doing very well in class, He loves reading, very obsessed with it at the moment, We registered him in rugby league, this will be his second yr, at first he didnt enjoy it and wouldnt talk, train etc, but now he has made some new friends and gained some confidence, He tackles, trains and plays wing, My youngest son is 4yrs and just started prep, he is not doing as well, very aggressive and just wont follow any direction, He is undergoing tests as the school feels he has ASD, Each child is as different as aspergers syndrome symptoms are, I think that finding out what they like to do, what they are good at, even if it is puzzles, means alot to them. I treat my son the same as i do my other 3 boyz, i give him a little push every now and then past his comfort zone, He is doing really well, his social skills still need more work, but he does have a couple of friends at school... so im happy

Heather - posted on 03/21/2010

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I just borrow that book from the South Dakota Parent Connection... Yes it really makes me cry too... And my son get teased and Bullying all the time.. and pushed and hit from other kids all the time... But he thinks it is okay as long as they say they are sorry.. But I don't think it is okay.. Like at school one day a kid pushed my sons head into the brick wall and the kid said sorry so he didn't tell the teacher. It hurts me so bad to hear this. And all you can do is go talk to the principle.

Krista - posted on 03/19/2010

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i found just read lots and get a great understanding how there brain works is a great start, as you do have to talk different to these types of children.

Lisa - posted on 03/18/2010

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Was your son officially diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome? I would ask the school if they have any advice as to where to take him for private counseling to get a formal diagnosis. My son was in 5th grade when he was diagnosed and I turned to a private Child Psychiatrist. I hope this helps!

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