Knowing if your child has Aspergers or if it's just you as a parent!?!

Kathy - posted on 07/31/2012

Well I will say one thing. You are the only one who knows your child well enough to determine if there is something wrong. If you think something is wrong it probably is. Many children have a terrible upbringing and dont act out and be as unpredictable as an Aspergers child can. It doesnt really matter what traits your child has or has not. It sounds like he is somewhere on the spectrum and it is effecting your life and his. Get help, ignore others and trust your gut. My son was diagnosed only a few weeks ago. He is querky, very loud, likes to lick metal and very naughty at present. He is also very smart, good company, vulnerable, lovable and mine. I read somewhere that you never expect to have to teach your kids the subtle rights and wrongs or the way to communicate or have a conversation but with an aspie these things need to be pointed out constantly. It made me feel better. Im sick of people looking at me like I have raised a spoilt naughty boy. Like anyone would sit back and not deal with that sort of behavior. Do they think I pat him on the back and say thats great son how you just spat on those people??? Very frustrating. Anyhow he told me it felt good. HMMMM Good luck, get help, develop a very tuff skin and love your special little man.

Emmy - posted on 03/22/2010

His behavior doesn't sound like Asperger's to me. My 11 year old son has it. You son seems too young for a diagnosis...according to my son's psychologist. Mostly it runs on the father's side of the family. I heard that there are several different types. My son has the high functioning form. My son is very quiet, has a hard time socially in school ~ but at home, he is fine. He has never had a tantrum, stayed up all night, or had the things you are describing. Here is a link about Asperger's:

http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/mental...

I read it thoroughly and your son doesn't have the symptoms for it. As far as interrupting you, ALL kids do that ~ especially at that age. As far as fixations on certain toys, lining up toys by shapes/colors is OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which is really a way for a child to deal with their anxiety. As far as being sensitive to certain things, that is PPD, a Pervasive Developmental Disorder called Tactile Defensiveness Disorder. Many children who have this (as one of my sons had), don't like to wear certain clothes, complain that cutting their hair or nails actually "hurts" them (which it does.) They are too sensitive to a lot of things like wool clothing, turtlenecks, long pants, socks, etc.

I don't think it's your parenting skills. I think all children go through a stage, especially since moving and having a baby, are the most stressful things in life (besides death.) Some kids can have an adjustment disorder, which is a sign of severe stress. So, they act out, have tantrums and don't sleep. As far as only liking certain foods, ALL my kids did that and they turned out fine.

If he is acting out, smacking him is not the answer. Take away something he enjoys. Only give him a time-out according to his age. So if he's 3 1/2...you give him a 3 1/2 min time-out. If you're going to take him to a child psychologist, make sure they specialize in these type of disorders. Some child psyhcologists that I've taken my son to, misdiagnosed him because they were not specialists in PPD or Asperger's. Good Luck!!

Kylie - posted on 03/21/2010

Over the past 2 days I have been speaking with alot of people who have been much more excepting, I have had the best weekend with the support for everyone, Thanks sooo sooo much!

DiAnna - posted on 03/20/2010

Oh, if only I had a penny for every time someone told me that there was nothing wrong with my son other than he just needed a good spanking, and that he was nothing but a spoiled brat! He was dx'd with adhd at about 2, and we JUST two months ago (he's 11 now) got the dx of Asperger's.

Cafepress.com has some WONDERFUL t-shirts and/or buttons that say "Discipline will not cure autism" and "My son has Asperger's Syndrome. I'm doing the best I can. Kind smiles are appreciated. Parenting advice is NOT." Even if you don't GET one, just knowing they're out there and you COULD makes me feel better!

Linda - posted on 03/20/2010

hi, dont worry your not alone, i have a 6 year old boy, i only found out 4 weeks ago that he has aspergers. the parents always knows when something is wrong. if my son is playing up, i give time out, or i do a star chart.

Mayra - posted on 03/19/2010

I can understand the way you feel. I would have him evaluated. If your insurance is like mine was. My child's Dr. didn't want to have him go thru the whole evaluation. He told me to relax. Hello it was my little boy here. I finally got him fully evaluated. My son is now 12 and was diagnosed about 4 yrs. There were times when we were ready to pull our hair out with him. And the many appointments. It is worth it. He is doing great. Patience and encouragement is key I believe. Good luck

Michelle - posted on 03/19/2010

agree with every one else . i questioned my doing wrong and you will learn to deal with situations better soon and dont listen to people who dont understand what is going on. but going to a sight like this will help alot so dont be afraid to ask questions to moms here cause from what i have seen there is alot of similarities in storys

Kylie - posted on 03/19/2010

Thank you all so much! I can't wait for that initial appointment just so I can get the ball rolling! I will definately start the diary as you all have suggested........

Mary Ann - posted on 03/19/2010

relax-been there, its not you and its not him...My son was finlly diagnosed? at Thankgiving (he's 7) Your professional will help you get a through diag.- do not accept a quick answer-my sons eval took almost 10 half hour to hour appointments. Change a few tatics before you go-see if helps the situation any- they (the kids) deal in the here and now- have trouble with the abstract. The can not associate their behavior with the punishment. My son struggles to write his name -but can do math in a snap, put him on a computer and you loose him into that world. He has to take everything apart to understand how it works. I am so proud of his every accomplishment. They trive on praise.

Stephanie - posted on 03/19/2010

Wow, you've just described my situation 6 months ago. My son is in the middle of assessments and therapists at the moment and not yet diagnosed officially. I know exactly how you feel, I'm the same, keep going back n forth thinking he definately is one minute then I get all the family saying 'oh so n so used to do that' and suddenly I feel awful and like I'm being over the top. The best thing you can do is listen to your instincts, I would go back to your doc (or health visitor, mine has been a god send) and ask to be referred to a paedeatrician. It always take ages to get these appointments so you can keep a diary in the meantime so that you can go to your app armed with evidence. Note down as much as you can, as some things are signs that you may not even realise, like my son has an obsession with helicopters, aren't all little boys? Yes but all little boys don't stare at the rotor blades constantly or also obsess on cieling fans, see through dysons(he loves the dirt spinning inside) and spinning himself around the room too. Good luck

Kylie - posted on 03/19/2010

Thanks Tammy, I think people can be very ignorant of these kind of conditions...it just got me a little down today and I second guessed myself! I will make sure I keep a diary!

Tammy - posted on 03/19/2010

Hi Kylie it does sound to me like Aspergers my son has aspergers im not an expert but my advice to you is keep a diary for a couple of months as with a younger one as well its very easy to forget things that way u can go back to the doc and now you have evidence which makes it easier as for the ignorant people calling him a brat or tellin you he needs a smack maybe its them that needs to be smacked thats just people you cant do anything bout that hope this helps i did this for my son and found it very helpful not only for the doc but for me also this site is great for asking questions u get honest answers from parents going through the same thing :)