Looking for other moms of autistic kids to chat with

Ronda - posted on 04/20/2009 ( 18 moms have responded )

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I'm looking for other moms to chat with. I have a 7 yr old autistic son that I can't quite get through to he has aggressive outbursts can anyone help. I love him so much and he can be so kind and gentle and is very smart. But when he gets upset he gets aggressive. Any help is apprecieated.

autismmom2967@yahoo.com

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Rachael - posted on 08/03/2013

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I found with my son who is now 21yr that as a child i couldnt smack him because autisic children dont reconise smacking as a punishment. So we gave him ulternmatims. Being if you do as i say you will get what you wont as apposed to if you do your own thing you may get hurt and may dissapoint your parents or other people you care about. Then he would feel gilty about doing his own thing and follow our advice or hed try his way and realise we were right. You just have to keep a close eye on your child and just be awear they need to be given a choice.

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Meredith - posted on 08/13/2017

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A few things that have helped me depending on if I get there in time and if I have a patience to do this... a child psychiatrist we talked with showed us a tool that has helped depending on the reason of outburst. If the child is no longer the child you know and it is not a physical pain but a melt down that they can not hear your helpful words so for example the parent sees the child is upset and is in a safe area first, then use words which you repeat in a calm and caring way even if you have to fake it. "I am sorry you are having a hard day, it must be tough, I am sorry that you feel pain, and continue over in a slow and calm voice until they are calm and go back to their normal self. Later talk about it if your child can communicate what happen and tools they could use. This has helped me but when I am tired and fed up I am not so good with this. I practice with my son who is limited verbally and has severe intellectual disabilities of what words to use, what actions we can take beforehand, consequence of losing the item since most cases of blow up is about technology not working or a child is crying. It is hard to know at times if it is related to sensory issues of if they are just being a NT brat who wants to get their way. My son is 14 ASD with ID. It is like being a detective and being ready for a fire to put out. I carry my cards, bandages, tweezers, ear plugs, phone, etc. I am a tired mom and I remind my son that no drama so I have energy to do ... with him. An activity he likes. I lose my temper often and have to take many breaks in the day from my boys.

Claudia - posted on 08/02/2017

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Hi I have a 9 yr grandson, my grandson gets aggressive too! And likes to hit I do not understand what causes that?

Kaila - posted on 08/02/2013

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I have a 7 year old autistic son too and I like to understand more its tuff day to day to deal with something's with him and I have so much questions

Erin - posted on 08/05/2012

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I'm having this same issue with my son. He can be the sweetest thing in the world but when he's in a mood he's impossible. Lately, he does anything to push my buttons. For exsample his Dad smokes cigarettes. My son pretends to smoke and he knows it makes me angry. I've tried ignoring it but he doesn't stop. He told me today that he smokes at school. Which I know is lie he's saying to push my buttons. He's high functioning. Time outs don't wotk with him. I think ignoring him is the best way to deal with this negative behavior. But he's been acting out so much lately doing things to make me mad on purpose.

Karen - posted on 08/03/2012

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i need help too! im a single mom looking for theraphies .. free resources etc please karenromero1987@gmail.com

Kimberley - posted on 05/13/2009

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i have 2 autistic boys 11 n 8 my 8 yr old is very aggressive i cud du wiv sum hlp or advice . wen my son has des outbursts i use a weighted blanket der very gud an dey calm them down u shud try an gt old ov 1 ope dis helps kimberley

Ronda - posted on 05/13/2009

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He has me most of the day unless he is at school. I am his person. thanks for all the responses.

Desiree - posted on 05/12/2009

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my cousin son has severe autism and its crazy but he has one person who he calms down 4 and that he feels secure with does ur son have that one person thats with him most of the day??

Tiffany - posted on 05/10/2009

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My son is younger than yours but we had the same problem, he is a really sweet kid but when he gets mad watch out. We have found that the best way for out son to deal with his anger was to go out and buy one of those blow up things that you can hit and it pops right back up...now when mathew gets mad we tell him that he needs to take it out on that, it works well and he got an extra toy out of it, that makes him laugh..

Marie - posted on 05/09/2009

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Quoting Ronda:

Looking for other moms of autistic kids to chat with

I'm looking for other moms to chat with. I have a 7 yr old autistic son that I can't quite get through to he has aggressive outbursts can anyone help. I love him so much and he can be so kind and gentle and is very smart. But when he gets upset he gets aggressive. Any help is apprecieated.
autismmom2967@yahoo.com


OASIS is a website on here about Autism/Aspergers. Orange county and I'm sure other counties have support groups. I just joined in the OC, CA, and am going to try to make it to their next meeting. Last I heard it was at IHOP restaurnat last time. Other mothers share at these groups and discuss just what you are asking.



 



My son gets anxious too. Some children need diets or medication to help them through. Low glutton and lactose diets I have heard help. Even my son's doctor has suggested it.

Marie - posted on 05/09/2009

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Quoting Ronda:

Looking for other moms of autistic kids to chat with

I'm looking for other moms to chat with. I have a 7 yr old autistic son that I can't quite get through to he has aggressive outbursts can anyone help. I love him so much and he can be so kind and gentle and is very smart. But when he gets upset he gets aggressive. Any help is apprecieated.
autismmom2967@yahoo.com


OASIS is a website on here about Autism/Aspergers. Orange county and I'm sure other counties have support groups. I just joined in the OC, CA, and am going to try to make it to their next meeting. Last I heard it was at IHOP restaurnat last time. Other mothers share at these groups and discuss just what you are asking.



 



My son gets anxious too. Some children need diets or medication to help them through. Low glutton and lactose diets I have heard help. Even my son's doctor has suggested it.

Christine - posted on 04/25/2009

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My suggestions would be to try visual schedules for example a morning routine and bedtime routine. I would also try for one week to draw out a chart and pin point out exactly when and where these aggressive outbursts are happening and what might be the cause. You maybe able to see a pattern and then you can try to change or doing something differently to the outburst pattern. I am not an expert but this did help me with some tantrums with my autistic son.

Cindy - posted on 04/25/2009

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I'm from South AFrica and have been reading a lot about DAN doctors in this group. Could you please tell me what a DAN doctor is

Sarah - posted on 04/24/2009

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I also have an autisic son who is 8 years old. I currently have my son on a mood stablizer which helps greatly with the outburst. He still has them, but not as often and not as agressive. I know in my situation it is best not to stop him if he is having an outburst. I don't let my son hurt himself or others, but if he is lying on the floor kicking and screaming, I leave him alone. If I try to intervene it makes it worse and it last longer. Our doctor is the one who told us to try it and it worked. Sometime you just have to let them work through it.

Marie - posted on 04/24/2009

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Orange County has support groups I just joined, but haven't gone to the meeting yet.

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We are very involved with the biomedical protocol with our DAN doctor. We've seen amazing results so far and it just keeps getting better. These are not overnight by any means, but well worth the effort. I went from a kid that was practically non-verbal and had terrible behaviors to a child who is beginning to speak in sentences and who is much more calm and well behaved. I'm more than happy to answer any questions to give you other names and websites to learn more. ldurham@insightbb.com

Jennifer - posted on 04/20/2009

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Have you heard of ABA therapy? Its the BEST thing that Ive ever done in helping my son! Try to find a BCBA (board certified behavior analyst) in your area, mine traveles 3 hours to come to my house once a month. If you cant get involved in that, you can message me and Ive got LOTS and LOTS of ideas and programs that you might want to try.

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