mt 2 year old need advice on taking her bottle away?

Tami - posted on 10/06/2010

hi jenn and trinity, i am a mom of two autistic children and they both went thru the chewing stage (my four year old daughter talitha is still there a lil bit) she too had her pacifier too long but did give up the bottle with ease...get some chew toys...one i used to use on both of them are a pool toy...thehollow tube like chewy plastic, the kind that you dive for.. also think of what a puppy chews on...something soft but durable...then try turning her chewing into healthy snacks.. as for the bottle..some bottles come with spouts to replace the nipple and she will still have the concept of holding a bottle..if ur daughter is banging her head (my friends autistic son does the same thing he now wears a soft helment MANDATORY) i want u know know this...autistic or not...children can be taught the concept of no and time outs should be frequently used when their behavior is such you can even take her to the store and have her pick out pretty cups to replace the bottle...get her a cute tea set too to see if she starts sipping from that...oh yea another way my daughter switched over was she had a doll that had a tini mini sippy cup and she started drinking from that and i would help her pretend she was feeding the baby too....good luck hugs

Zenzele - posted on 10/05/2010

I guess I'm from a different school of thought. If it was time to take the bottle away I took it away. That was it. We moved on to the next thing and worked with it until my daughter got it. I would suggest working with your Occupational Therapist to see what is best for your daughter seeing that their could be so many factors involved.

Debbie - posted on 10/05/2010

DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!!! You have to pick and choose your battles. This is a little battle. You have so much on your plate to deal with, some so much bigger than others. I know that the bottle at two is when you are "supposed" to take it away. All the rules have been re-written. If your daughter needs the bottle, give her the bottle. As long as your doctors are on board, and you are careful to check the nipples to make sure that they are safe you are ok. Keep offering her the cup, let her try drinking from your cup, and keep her exposed to it. Please do yourself a favor and do not worry about when she is supposed to hit milestones and focus on her. Things will happen when they happen, on your daughters schedule! Enjoy your daughter, enjoy her pace, don't compare her to others...she is a very special individual with her own set of rules and timeframes!

Kathy - posted on 10/05/2010

I suspect she really craves the chewing/sucking aspect of the bottle nipple and will need that kind of oral stimulation for quite a while yet (a bit issue for our kids) Suggestions: try a different brand of nipple, maybe one that looks thicker, stronger. 2nd idea: have two bottles ready: put a small amount of water in the second bottle. (water will make less of a mess and she can chew away until you feel that it is becoming a choking hazzard) Now, here's the game: start on the milk bottle but when she turns it over to let it run out, with a great deal of 'game time' in your voice say, "time to trade" and give her the bottle with the water. Next, to introduce a sipply cup, try one that is see- through and put in a little bit of something sweet (apple juice or a bit of lightly sweetened water) Once she likes the cup as an object, she will be more likely to accept it with her milk. However, bottles at nap time and night time will be the last to go. Also, look for a cup that has a softer, rather than a harder plastic top. For quite a while, she is going to need as much 'distraction' as 'correction'...she's just not emotionally ready to hear a 'no' about something as important as her bottle, however bait and switch is a lifesaver for you and her.

Kristy - posted on 10/05/2010

I had some issues at frist getting my son to take the sippy cup but I had bottles that could go from cup to sippy so it looked them same just the mouth was different. If you don't have anyhing like that, I recomend taking your little girl down to pick out her very own big girl sippy cup and then tell her the entire time that she is a big girl and big girls use sippys. Even if she gets excited about it and then still wants her bottle you will have to stick to your guns. My son was 2 1/2 when we switched to the sippy and it took some getting used to but after a while he settled down and excepted it. When he was diagnosed with atuism they saiod that he was borderline mentally retarded too and that he would most likely never be able to care for himself. If you can stick to your guns you can achieve the seemingly impossible. So good luck I hope all works out for you *hugs*

Kateri - posted on 10/05/2010

My son, when he was younger, was a lot easier to work with- although he has a feeding disorder now, back then, if he was thirsty he'd have to drink what i gave him, so i sometimes held a sippy cup to his mouth, and he couldnt get down until he had a sip *i didn't force him to drink though- he would have to choose whether he wanted to get down after a drink or stay in my arms- they say, "when he's hungry he'll eat"- that's not always the case, but one half a day of witholding didn't seem to hurt- and he eventually took what was served him... in the cup in which it was served.

Tiffany - posted on 10/05/2010

take it one day at a time , my lad didnt give his up till he was 9 yrs , i did get him done to just on a bed time , he chewed holesin the teat too but as for the sippy cup it was a no go at all i found a normal cup and a straw was the way to go , keep smiling it comes in the end
love and hugs xxxxx

Rachael - posted on 10/04/2010

My boy is 7 and still using a sippy cup. Did go from the bottle to the sippy cup ok, but now is "stuck" on the sippy cup.... Only the one he will drink from and as one of his School mates said "looks like a dog has had a chew on it..." as he chews on the end and it is over 3 years old now. I have others the same colour, brand etc. and he won't drink out of them!!! As far as they go sippy cups are good. Sucking and blowing are good calming techniques as any OT will tell you as you head down this path, so yes they are harder as Megan said below but for our kids this is a good thing, hence my boy having trouble giving it up - it calms him!!! I let him have a plastic cup in the bath and he drinks out of it in the bath, loving the cold water spilling down his chest in the process. They also have water play at School with him and having a plastic cup and practicing drinking from it, as wet as he gets, that is part of the experience. A the moment your little girl isn't ready to give up her beloved bottle and you know what, that's ok, she is only 2!! You'll find lots of Mum's with girls and boys older than yours still using a bottle. Some change in their own time, some change when they see a sippy cup with a favorite cartoon character or a favorite colour walking through kmart and have to have it.... But it happens when we least expect it and often in their own time not ours. In the meantime, we spend hundreds of dollars on containers that "don't fit" their requirements... Watch her and work out what it is she likes about her bottle - can she see it's contents, she may require a clear container as she likes the "look and movement" of the liquid. Does she like the "rubber taste and feel" my OT recommended some "chew toys" for my boy when he went through the chew and destroy stage and he didn't use them - stuck to what he liked... As Heather said the best thing is not to worry... She will change and grow into certain things and one of the big things for many is drinking containers... Just think, you'll get her onto a sippy cup and then like me you'll struggle to get her using a normal cup... another change, another thing to move through and you will do it! Be firm with the hitting and scratching as this can become an issue as they move into more social venues like kinder etc. You need to help her find other more reasonable ways of saying " I don't like or want that..." or it may become an issue. It's frustration coming out here and you need to work out how to communicate with each other what you need from each other to avoid this. Speech Therapists, OT's etc. will all help you put this in place now you have your diagnosis so that is a good thing. I get joyful moments from my boy every day and yes there are some very hard days and moments but there are some shining ones amongst them that make you realise the importance of the little things and what is really important in life generally. Thinking of you!

Barbara - posted on 10/04/2010

My son Jonathon used his bottle until he was 4. I talked to his dentist and he assured me that as long as I didnt give it to him at bedtime that drinking out of the bottle would not hurt him. Try the sippy cup that has the spout the same texture as a nipple if she starts to dump it take it away. and then give it back if she really looks thirsty and is ready to start drinking again. Be consenst with it. Autsitic children are creatures of habbit if one time you take it soon as she starts dumping it and then the next time she does it you dont she will get confused good luck

Linda - posted on 10/02/2010

Hi Jennifer & Trinity :) I empathise with you on your feeling the "bad news".. my husband and I felt the same way when our son Tyler (now aged 10) was diagnosed at aged 3 (his mental stage was also aged approximately 6-18mths younger). However, the good news is over time this feeling of hopelessness and doom WILL dissipate and you will ALL adjust to a new routine. However, the feelings of anger and sadness that will emerge may take a little while longer to dim. Tyler didnt start talking until around 3yrs and he used a bottle and dummy up until around that age. I think you will find the onset of teeth in ANY child will cause them to chew holes in the teats not just those with Autism Spectrum Disorder. I have a daughter who is now 5 (she is "normal" for want of a better word) - she too chewed holes in all her teats. Let her have her bottles and at the moment whatever makes her happy. I agree with Megan save your energy - this is a small battle and not worthy of the stress. Lets face it - this world is scary enough for the majority of us... these kids see & hear their world through very different eyes & ears and if she feels comforted by having a bottle - then so be it !!

Your family is now on a journey unlike no other - sometimes each day you will wake up and the first thing you will think of is "What mood is Trinity in".... "What will today be like".... "Will it be a good day or shall i just hide under the covers"..... WHATEVER THE DAY ENDS UP TO BE - YOU WILL ALL MAKE IT !!! I promise :) .... and that night after a day when you could easy throw in the towel, you will stare at her in her bed and you will love her with all your heart and you will wonder how you ever thought you could give up.

When we first found out about Tyler's diagnosis....I made the mistake of googling ASD.... I was bombarded with so much information - most of it was out of date or not right or so negative .... I remember printing reams and reams of information.... in the end I had information overload - I was despressed the more I read about ASD .... in the end I threw ALL of it away and focused on my child. He "told" me all I needed to know.... He "taught" me all i needed to do to help him.. It is an endless work in progress and just when you think you know all the rules.... these kids change it all up and go "SURPRISE - what worked yesterday now no longer works !!!! " .... You will experience absolute tears of joy from successes you would normally take for granted.... and you will experience the absolute depths of despair at the unfairness of the whole thing Autistic !!! You will feel so angry at the world ... you will scream WHY ?? WHY ??? WHY ??? - but there is no one thing that caused this to happen to Trinity.... there is no blame to be felt or dealt ..... you must remain focused and remember that THE only thing important in this journey is what is best for Trinity. You will become your child's Champion - you will fight beaurecrats and government depts for funding and a fair go.... You will defend her behaviour until you are blue in the face.... You will get sick of explaining "why" Trinity does certain things.... You will make excuses for Trinity until you get to the point where you are sick to death of talking about all things Autistic.

You may come across people who will never understand.... people who dont give a sh*t .... but on the flip side you WILL come across people who DO understand ... people who CAN and WANT to help you - These are the people you grab hold of and soak up ALL their tips, hints, ideas and knowledge - some of it will work.... some of it wont - but try it all !!!! You have nothing to loose !!

I can remember saying to Tyler's Speech Therapist - "I just want to have an argument with Tyler - I just want to hear him say "NO"... like all the other kids" . The Speech Therapist laughed and told me that I would - at the time I didnt think so because I had never heard Tyler's voice unless he was crying or laughing. NOW i cant shut him up !!!! LOL and yes he tells me "NO" more than I care to hear !!!! LOL He amazes me every day and when I look into his eyes I see innocence and hope - REAL hope - his way of thinking takes the "difficult" out of life and he has taught me to see things more simply - a skill I feel priviliged to have learned. I see other mums over analysing everything - when to do this - when to do that - what if - what if - what if - ... I say "ehhh.... so what ???? seriously !!! when it is meant to happen - it ... will.... happen !!!! Our "special" kids are not unteachable ... they are not untrainable.... they just take a little bit more effort and time to understand the "why" of it all.

In the end you too will learn that this diagnosis is not a noose around her neck .... I am seriously not overly religious - i only ever find myself praying to God when things are at their most absolute breaking point and I am desperate.... rather than praying everyday with appreciation..... but I AM a firm believer that God would not burden a person with a load that he or she could not handle. The world we live in is a fast-paced frantitic society... .maybe our children - our babies are here to teach us all to slow down and think differently. I know i have :)

Megan - posted on 09/29/2010

My son HATED sippy cups. (try drinking out of them, they take a lot of effort to drink out of) There are cheap plastic cups at a lot of stores that have a lid that has a little spout that restricts the flow, but they don't have to suck really hard. They are more prone to spill but Soren loved them. We also started offering normal cups instead and he learned fairly fast on those as well. Also try cups with straws, maybe she will like those better. Don't worry about taking the bottle away if that is what she is most comfortable with though, no need to upset her if its not a fight you really want to fight. Your her mommy, you will know when its time to stop things like the bottle.

Heather - posted on 09/29/2010

Hi Jennifer, First let me say, Trinity will develop and change just like my son did. Early diagnosis is key in helping our children. I felt the same way when I got my son's diagnosis but I realized, he is still my precious boy and what a gift he is, I am so lucky to have him. I promise, the "bad news" feeling will change. It is a process, I am still working through it myself.

My little guy, Austin, who is now 5, used to have a bottle until he was 2 but we did not take away his pacifier until he was 3. He used to chew holes in them and such. I think he need the pacifier to sooth him. I would worry too much about the bottle. Just make sure if she falls asleep with it to take it out of her mouth but let her keep holding it if she has it in her hand, as not to wake her up. This may be what gives her comfort. With my son, I know it did that for him, that is why we let him keep the pacifier and he gave up his bottle in just one night, no fight or anything because he wanted the pacifier more. Give her some time. She is only 2. My daughter, who is 2 1/2, did not give up breastfeeding until 2 years and 5 months old and that was a big build up to tell her as of a certain date, no more! She is a "typical" child. Regardless of diagnosis, our babies are still our babies. I see no harm in letting her still have a bottle at this stage. I hope that helps. I am always here if you need someone to talk to or have a question. All the best! *HUGS* Heather