my 12yr old hf autistic son-explosive tantrums and bathroom ISSUES!

Sue - posted on 01/07/2013

Hi Laura, My grandson is 10, high functioning and the situation seems so similar to your sons. Please let me know if you found any thing that your could suggest we try with Taylor. It just breaks my heart to see this loving, sensitive child going through this and not know how to reach him. Please help!!

C - posted on 09/14/2010

I just wonder if there were some specific issues at camp that summer----sexual or otherwise. Seems like a power struggle, since there are no accidents at school. It seems that sometimes those with mental illness use this as a way of misbehaving, and other times it may have more to do with physiological issues of not feeling urges in time, encopresis (as you mentioned), constipation issues, and the like. In other words, he may be using this to express anger, but it also could have to do with a physical issue. I guess I would have him checked out by a physician first, then try some behavior strategies if all is normal at the doctor. Let him earn privileges or special activities at home or out for using the bathroom (not having accidents or tantrums). Make the "treats" something he can achieve.
This is so difficult, but I doubt if he wants to be so out of control. Help him out of this as you would a toddler. Never have a tantrum with him. I would attempt to keep an even control of your emotions, and be the level headed one he can count on.
All of this is easier said than done, and may involve some experimenting.
Try giving him some special attention at home----reading to him, cooking with him, playing board games, whatever he might like, but where he's getting some positive attention with you. Build that relationship and see if it has any affect on the other times. No matter what, end the day with some quiet time and be sure to tell him you love him.

If you still have access to the summer camp, see if you can find out if they had specific rules for bathroom use, time to use it, etc. Sure seems like something must have taken place there.

I'd love to tell you all this would work, but my son is in his twenties. He has a toileting issue right now and I was online trying to find some help as well. So...be kind to yourself, give yourself credit for all the care and trouble you go to on his behalf. You're an angel.

Heather - posted on 06/03/2010

My son is also high functioning and he is now 17. These kids have enough smarts to know what they are doing is wrong if it is explained to them in a manner they under stand. A 12 years old is lets say a 8 internally (if not a bit younger) find and appropriate punishment for his emotional age (not his chronological) and see if it has an effect.

Angelique - posted on 06/02/2010

i had the same problem with my son who is also 12 1/2 and autistic...it started for us about 5 yrs ago though when i had my daughter...we thought he digressed because he seen us changing the baby and wanted attention ...but as it turns out ...he still continues to wear pull ups all the time cause we cant keep buying the underwear to throw them out...i cant afford it.never any accidents at school but at home its horrible!!!i wake up to crap all over the bathroon ,his bed ..dirty pull ups hidden under his bed...i feel for you but unfortunatley havent got a clue either but your not alone...my son is also having really bad tantrums..he throws anything in sight.screams this horrible high pitched scream and attaks...its very heart breaking and frustrating..especially now that im 8 months pregnant and cant restrain him without risking getting hurt since hes bigger n stronger than me..my other 2 children are scared of him ...im looking into res hab centers for him..