My 19 year old son has autistic spectrum disorder

Amanda - posted on 07/17/2017 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My son was diagnosed aged 8 but from birth I always just thought he was eccentric.
His almost 20, lives at home kicked out college after 14 months. Cant keep any job down. Doesn't understand small talk or basic instructions as he switches off. Hasant cleaned his teeth in months. He plays guitar loves writing wraps and songs. He has social worker and a mentor. He has a few good friends but they all smoke weed. My son's never been able to .maintain a relationship. As his gone through puberty his aspergers has gotten worser. He will stay in his room all day go out 3ish. Come in makes his own food goes out most evenings. Coming home very early hours of morning or not at all for days. He says he feels hated by everyone in our family. I feel heartbroken when I hear this. He is impossible to talk things through with as he is only interested in feeling the vibe and gets stressed out when over welmed by his feelings. Only thing that keeps him going is his music. I terrified what future holds for him as he has no idea how to be responsible or about money. He looses every single house key, phone, his bike and passport and guitar now lost broken. He burns food each time he cooks. Floods bathroom as he forgets he running himself a bath. I feel very alone and have no one to turn to for help and support or know how to help my son, who I love very much but also I want him to move out as I'm so drained from it all. I may sound horrible saying that but I feel, he will function better and be less stressed. In supportive housing. But wait is very long. My worrie is they won't be able to help house my son in this area. Nearest places available are over an hour away. Any advice would be appreciated. I love to hear about other people's experience's.

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Leslie - posted on 07/19/2017

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Oh Amanda...I'm so sorry to hear this....HUGS to you. My 21 yo aspie can't keep a job either so far but he did do well in community college - because he was able to take MUSIC as his major. Of course right now he does have an Associate's Degree and no job!!! He had someone called a "Community Res. Hab." worker who did miracles helping him to understand how to act in the community out and about, taught him how to cook, etc. He really acted as a great mentor to my son - perhaps your son's mentor could help to teach him some of those skills he needs?

I understand your saying he will do better and be less stressed if he does not live at home - but it also sounds like maybe you're going to have to wait out the year for supportive housing Is your son on Medicaid? If so do you have a Medicaid Service Coordinator? And/or are you getting any services through your state's disability office? If neither of those things see if your state offers them - they won't necessarily TELL you about all the options sadly, we as parents need to seek them out.

I hope knowing at least that you are NOT alone helps.....

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