My 2 yr old son was diagnosed with Autium today!!

Maria Antonia - posted on 09/17/2009

HI Brandy! I'm new to this mom's group, but not new to ASD. I have a 23 yr. old who is an "Aspie" or Asperger's but he wasn't diagnosed with it until he was fourteen. He was first diagnosed as having a form of Tourette's, Tick with Vocalization Disorder. There were still some things that didn't seem to fit and a counselor first pointed out that he also seemed to have Aperger's. All the doctors thought I was crazy because I had a perfectly healthy baby and beautiful to boot what more did I want, some said maybe I wanted a sick child. I knew I could and should persevere, so against all odds and ridicule from teachers and professionals I found a wonderful Doctor who, without my mentioning it first, observed my son and asked if I knew anything about Tick Disorder, the rest although far from easy was easier to bear because of one wise man. Eleven years later God blessed me with my now 12 year old, who at age 2 1/2 was diagnosed with Autism/ADHD. I can't tell you how I felt. I was taking care of a mother dying from brain cancer my 14 yr old had just been given a diagnosis of Asperger's and two weeks later my youngest is diagnosed as Autistic. I cried until I thought I couldn't anymore. I was going to need a mother's support and I wasn't going to have it. I had a full plate. Time has a way of getting you to cope whether you think you can't or not. My baby got immediate intervention in the form of speech, physical and occupational therapy through the Lanterman Regional Center here in Los Angeles, and he went from not talking (he just made sounds, mostly hu, hee, and guttural sounds) and barely walking (he had palsy in his right leg), to a thriving 12 yr old who plays basketball, and runs track. I fought the school system tooth and nail because according to what they said my son "could hold a pencil and walk into the class, and he could make himself understood", never mind that he held the pencil in his fist and had no idea how to use it, and that he pointed at everything instead of saying the word and that his morbidly obese teacher could not get out of her chair in time to stop some of the children in his special ed class from hurting themselves or other kids and yelled everything out instead of showing them (what chaos) ...I went through 7 kinds of hell, butI will tell you this: through it all, try to see the world through their eyes. It will leave you at times in wonder. They look at things in a different way than we do. It's like looking at the world through a different pair of glasses. Discover your child's talents and intelligence, they all excell if not in just one then in many ways. Bring it out. Above all remember that you are your child's best advocate, you are the one that sees the potential, not others, so fight for their right to receive and expect the best. Talk to your child, show things to your child. It may frustrate you at times, you may get sad, angry, feel defeated - all that is ok, it's real, but the first time he shows you or is able to tell you that he loves you, that's the day you know that it's all in there, you just have to help him bring it out, communicate it. You are the best teacher he can have, fight to pull him out as much as you can , out of the grips of Autism to best of his ability. Now I'm fighting SSI because they say that even though he Autistic they do not see him as disabled. It's a mixed blessing. I am not currently working and need that money, but it's also a a kind of kudos to the fact that he has come a long way. If you get a chance, go see the movie Adam. Shades of things to come for anyone who has an adolescent who has been diagnosed with ASD. Best of luck. If you need an ear - you have mine. Maria

Brandy - posted on 09/16/2009

Well thank you so much for all the awsome advise!!! I cant beleive how many ppl reached out to help that makes me feel so good!! Well an update: I have an appointment with the school district for our transfer from reginoal. Reginaol said they will still give my son services after he turns 3. As well as getting help from the district. They want to do speech,behavoriable,occupational theripy!! I got the genetics test done to check for Fragile X Syndrom! I went to social security and they said its going to be 4-6 months till i hear anything cause theyre super backed up right now! So im doing better i have my rough days but i try to keep my mind busy at night with reading anything on Autism! Thank you moms!!!

Leamarie - posted on 09/09/2009

I just wanted to say hello and give you some encouragement. Good luck with your little one, it is a long tough road but worth it. :)

Kyla - posted on 09/08/2009

My two youngest are Autistic. I felt the same. I noticed with my daughter it became worse after her MMR shot.Read all the books by Jenny McCarthy. That helped me. Go to www.generationrescue.org.My son turned 5 today. He is Autistic. He maybe has 4 or five words. My daughter who is three. can now say over 6 words. And can count to three, We did therapy and still do. It will take some time but hang in there. If you want to talk I will try and help. Watch Miracle Run.Its a story about a single mom with twins who are Autistic. I am bipolar and so is my kids dad. They say that sometimes causes that.

Kitty - posted on 09/08/2009

I remember when that happened to me. You go through a roller coaster of emotions and that's putting it mildly. I actually started a blog that details my story from the begining till now. http://autismandliving.blogspot.com The school district where you are at also has free classes for you to take that can teach you what to do at home for your child. That would be a good place to start. You will learn so much and they can arrange the classes to fit your schedule and even offer babysitting for free. I wish you all the luck and feel free to contact me anytime.

Eve - posted on 09/08/2009

I am sorry to hear it, but m little one has pdd, nos. do whatever they suggest. it can't hurt. it isn't easy. its so hard. i know they say you can do. you can. but it is hard. just pray. God doesn't give you what you can't handle. I have to believe it. It is what gets me through... put me on as a friend if you need to talk... evepannone

Angela - posted on 09/08/2009

I know how you feel my son was diagnosed with Autisum in July and he is 10 yrs old. It is hard to face I cried too. He has speech at school so that helps. I understand what u r going through. I have reached out and no one seems to care if their child dont have it. Hope to hear from you. Maybe we can help each other. Also my son is in the fourth grade but he is only on a 1st grade level. I hope to find more help for my son because he is my only child and it makes it harder for me. I will be looking into programs for him. There has to be some kind of help out there.

Sara - posted on 09/08/2009

I see that many have already given you great websites so I will keep it short. DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU WHAT YOUR CHILD IS GOING TO OR NOT GOING TO DO! My son was diagnosed at 2 1/2yrs. Moderate (Which means in the middle) Wasn't suppose to talk and I was told to lower my standard for him. But I thought it he was too young to right his book yet. Today my son is a 10yr boy who talks reads and writes, adds subtracts, history, science, and HAS HIS OWN FRIENDS. He is in a normal classroom and the only accomindation is they read his test too him. Get him in therapy, as much as they require, do it at home. It may be slow but there IS hope. It took 5 yrs for my son to speak and 7 for him to reply to questions but we never gave up and NOW I challenged ANY to pick him out as Autistic. Pray and believe, if you can see him in there, there IS hope that you will be able to get him out.

Tamara - posted on 09/08/2009

Hey...I have 5 kids...3 girls and 2 boys...Both my boys have Autism...It is so completely normal to feel lost. You are right that you are lucky that they caught it early. And the behavior therapist will probably QUICKLY become your best friend. You will have days that go as smooth as anything. And days where you want to run screaming form the room and pull your own hair out at the same time. That is also completely normal. Just remember, with Autism, it a social condition. At home, things will probably progress fairly "normally". Out in public, school, park, playground, those are the places you will have to be on your toes. Also, the bigger your circle of trusted friends and family the better. What you learn in behavior therapy, teach to the family and friends. That way if you REALLY need a break, even if its just for an hour or so, you can turn your child over to them with no real fear. I STRONGLY believe that it "Takes a village to raise a child". Good luck and remember we are here for you anytime you need us.

Glenda - posted on 09/08/2009

Hang in there it will get better. My son is 26 years old now. And I can tell you that it will get better with time. Seek God and he will help you.

Alicia - posted on 09/07/2009

Quoting Brandy:

Quoting Alicia:

Did you have the assesment done through the school district or a private practice? If you haven't contacted the school district yet you should do that ASAP. They will be required to establish services for him. Some states provide early childhood special education or ECSE at age 3 and older but a lot of times children on the spectrum are started earlier due to the importance of early intervention.Try to get him into an autism specific ECSE class if possible. Find out who the autism specialist is in your district and call them. There is a federal law requiring all states to provide a free and appropriate education for our children. The AS will be able to guide you in getting what your son needs. But the most important thing you will learn as you continue on this journey is that you will have to be your sons advocate. If you don't think they are providing enough services fight for more. Just make sure you fight nice until there isn't another option :) My son will be 3 at the end of this month. He was diagnosed in Nov. of 08. It does get easier I promise. Therapy will help. Get him as much of it as you can. The other incredibly important peice in this is getting yourself a crash course in autism. Educate yourself and you will be a better advocate for your son. You'll know what to ask for and how to help him. The first few weeks are the hardest but you'll get through them. I wouldn't stress too much about the genetic tests. As far as I understand it the results don't really give you a specific absolute reason for the disorder most of the time. Even if it does it doesn't really impact how you treat it from here on out so if you're not comfortable calling your ex right now don't.

It was through the reginoal center. So i can still go throught he school district now? I was under the impression i had to wait till he was 3?

In MN they are required to povide appropriate services to any child regardless of age. For most kids it isn't appropriate to start ECSE earlier than 3 but because early intervention is so crucial for autistic kids the district will start them in an autism classroom at 2. If the district doesn't have autism preschool for 2 yr olds they have a program where they send an ECSE teacher to your house to help you get started with parenting techniques at home. I know there are a lot of other states run the same way. Don't know about CA though. Look into it. Even if he can't start programing until he is three they should be able to do an evaluation on him so that he is ready to start school right after his birthday. It can take up to 90 school days depending on the state you're in to get the eval completed so don't wait. Also when you contact the school ask them what the state law requirement is on how long they have to complete the eval.  There will be a specific length of time they have to comply with legaly. If they know you know what that length of time is  they will be more apt to comply. Most schools are great and truly want to help your child but sometimes you find yourself in a situation where you have to push to get what he needs. Sorry it took me some time to reply to your question. I was almost to the canadian border for labor day weekend and had no internet access. Back to civilization now though.

CARRIE - posted on 09/07/2009

Sounds like a great lil guy & you sound like a very determined mama! My son started to show signs at that age-only I didn't realize that's what it was. I always suspected other things. He wasn't "officially" diagnosed with Asperger's (high functioning) until April & he will be 8 in Sept. I understand you being depressed about it & happy at the same time. I felt the same way-happy that my instincts were confirmed & maybe we can get a handle on what's really going on & depressed that I was right all along. All kids are different & especially those w/ASD. Read & research as much as you can. Not all will apply to your child nor you, but a great deal of it will be very beneficial! Good luck to you! And we're all here for you. These posts are so helpful to me. It's good to vent around here & know everyone knows exactly what you're going through. Keep on keepin on!

Raeline - posted on 09/07/2009

Hi there I have a son Alec he is 4. He'll be 5 oct.4th. Anyway he was diagnosed two yrs ago when he was three. Work with your son and get all the support and help available. Flashcards,blocks,shapes,puzzles,anything hands on really. I did the dairyfree diet you can also do gluten free diet. they help alot!!! Check into schools now and see what programs they have for kiddos with autism. My son's school is totally involved. Alec has his regular preschool teacher/s and his own teacher or shadow that follows him and works hard with him in betwen his preschool hrs. We actually got our son into the preschool rm. with the class a couple yrs early so he could interact and socialize.he only went twice a week for a couple hours, but it helps trust me. this is his actual real yr of preschool.Get a DAN doctor. that stands for defeat autism now. He has helped us alot.Jenny Mcarthys books were like guides for me. I'm still learning what to do now!! Just do the best you can and dont treat him "special" treat him normal. Thats what we do and our son is turning out great. We potty trained him at the right age and everything. we just started it earlier than others, but we got there. If you have any questions please let me know. Oh look on the bright side our kids are more likely not to do drugs, they really cant tell a lie, and they're smart as hell!! You gotta love em!!! Good Luck and God Bless!

Danielle - posted on 09/07/2009

I have a child with ASD and ADHD, he's now almost 4 years old and was "officially" diagnosed at 3 (but we had known for probably 6-9months before that). All I can say to you is it does get better, a little easier, as you learn more and find out what works for you and your child.

Its ok to grieve, and very important to...I saw a physcologist just after we got the offical diagnosis, as suddenly what my instincts had told me were confirmed and then my world crumbled! She explained the grief as "non-finite grief", one that never ends. I know that sounds terrible but it did help me to understand and expect that I would continue to grieve as we move through different phases of his lifetime. It is ok to cry and tell people how awful you feel, but you will find strength that you never knew you had!

My beautiful little man is still quite non-verbal (still only says single words), and we have spent countless hours attending Early Intervention programs, private speech and OT...BUT he can express now what he wants through other means, is very loving and affectionate, has dramatically increased eye contact and though never spoken the words I long to hear he just (Makaton) signed "I love you" the other day!!

Don't forget you are his mum and will often know instinctively what's best, and ask/accept any help you can get.

Never give up, never give in, never say never!! Thinking of you, and if you have any questions just ask...here to help if I can xox

G. Ivy - posted on 09/07/2009

I have a three year old and he too has autism. like everyone has said it is hard at first. I knew something was wrong when my AJ never spoke and didn't make eye contact with people. I had to push my doctor to get him tested. Afterwards everything went into fast forward. My husband and I decide to face it head on. AJ is a high functioning child. We found things that attracted his attention and used it. Oh yeah, we found out at one in a half. He had speech 2x a wk, a teacher 5x a wk, OT 2x a mo. and alot of love from us. AJ now talks and looks at us, answers to his name and says I love you at nite. Like you this hurt not to hear. And I'm not saying ur child will say it to you but I am saying he will find a way to make it known. AJ is in a special needs class with some time spent in a normal pre-k class. Now that you have the dx, look for groups and a birth to three/ birth to five program in your area. They are your first line to finding whats best for your little one. My group was a life saver. And don't ever be a fraid to reach out. The first year of knowing is the hardest, after that its just about working around them and helping them to improve daily living skills along with functioning outdoors. Feel free to ask me any questions and I'll help if I can.

Sheila - posted on 09/07/2009

I totally know how you feel! It is a hard thing to hear about your baby! I have a 6 year old boy that has ASD. It is hard but get the help you need now that he is young! The younger the better. I feel that you have to mourn the child that you thought you would have. I know that sounds crazy but that is how I felt about it. I still have my bad days where I feel like I don't know what to do. You can vent all you want cuz we understand! But try to get the help for him and you may just see him get better and better. I recommend reading Jenny McCarthy books. She has 3 books "Louder than Words" "Mother Warriors" and "Healing and Preventing Autism" the last one I am still reading. Get as much info as you can to fight this! I hope this helps. Good luck and keep your head up.

BJ - posted on 09/07/2009

My son was diagnosed with autism as well. I have had him in therapy since he was about 1 1/2. Today he is a very smart and happy child. He still has autism (and always will) but he does not show a lot of the signs. I was told that it is because I caught it early and got him into the therapies. In my opinion I would do the therapies. It can only help, not hurt!

Sara - posted on 09/07/2009

HI BRANDY MY NAME IS SARA AND MY YOUNGEST SON HAS AUTISM, I GUESS YOU WOULD SAY CLASSIC AUTISM. HE IS NOW 4 YEARS OLD. I REMEMBER WHEN I GOT THE DIAGNOSIS I WAS HEARTBROKEN BUT GLAD TO FINALLY GET THE DIAGNOSIS SO I COULD GET ASSISTANCE IN TAKING CARE OF HIM. YOUR LITTLE GUY SOUNDS A LOT LIKE MINE, EVEN THOE THERE ALL ARE VERY DIFFERENT WITH THERE LITTLE CORKS AND WHAT NOT. LOOK INTO MRDD, SOCIAL SECURITY, BOOKS, AND ON LINE. DOCTORS AND THERAPIST GIVE YOU THERE LIMITED 411 ON AUTISM. THE BEST THING TO DO IS WORK HARD AT FINDING WHAT WORKS BEST FOR YOUR LITTLE GUY, DIET CHANGES, THERAPY, SCHOOL. SO MANY OPTIONS, IT CAN BE VERY OVERWHELMING! YOUR GOING TO REALIZE HOW STRONG OF A WOMAN AND MOTHER YOU ARE NOW! TAKE CARE........... DONT FORGET YOU CAN HANDLE THIS!

Amy - posted on 09/07/2009

I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis, but like you said, they've caught it early. My son was diagnosed at about 1 1/2, and it was a hard time. It's early for you now, and what you need to do is allow yourself time to accept the diagnosis. The best advice I got when I found out my youngest has it is to not read anything for a while about autism, and be allowed to 'grieve'. When you're ready, start reading. Since your stepson seems to have it too, you have some experience in this arena already. Why do they want you to do genetic testing? Are you thinking you need to do it in case you're planning other kids? If not, personally I think it's a waste of time. Send him to speech therapy and all of the other therapies they want him to go to. Strike while the iron's hot. Join a support group too. That will help you as well, and let you know you're not alone. Take care of yourself. If you don't, you won't be able to help your son.

Kara - posted on 09/07/2009

I don't know where you live but we have found great success with Verbal Behavior-- It is a behavioral intervention. I also found that diet really helped my son in alot of ways! What you need to remember is to go slow and steady-- this is a marathon not a race --so take care of yourself, as well.

Chrissy - posted on 09/06/2009

When my son started preschool he was only two and didn't turn three untill the end of November. He is one his third year of preschool due to when his birthday fell. Early intervention is the key. He is still about a year behind his age group but has come such a long ways. When he started preschool they said that he should have at least 100 words in his vocabulary and 50 should be understandable. He didn't even have 25 words and not even half everybody new. But now is speaking in sentences that just need to be cleaned up a little bit. Still isn't complenty potty tranined yet but still working on that. Because he has an IEP at school they will allow him to go even though he isn't potty trained yet.

Carrie - posted on 09/06/2009

Hi Brandy,
My son was diagnosed with everything from ADHD to Intermittent Explosive Disorder. Finally, 2 years ago (he is now 9) he was diagnosed with Asperger's, which is on the Autism Spectrum. Even though we (me and his therapists) knew what he had since he was 5, it was still a blow when they actually came out and said it! Depending on what area you live in is what level of care you can expect.

Leslie - posted on 09/06/2009

Each school district is different. In Idaho Early Childhood starts at age 3 but there are also programs for younger children where the schools send teachers to your home to help you help your child.

Christy - posted on 09/06/2009

Brandy- I remember how it feels. My son was diagnosed with PDD-NOS, rule out Aspergers at age 3. We knew something was "different" about Jackson from the time he was a year old, but it took a while to get the diagnosis. At that time, Jackson lined things up, made minimal eye contact, and would escape from the other children at his daycare and preschool by literally going to another room to get away from them. His language was delayed. Now, he's six, in a regular classroom at school, and has several friends from school. Hard work makes all of the difference. Join a support group to meet other parents. Get your child involved in language groups and social skills groups if you have them available in your area (we were lucky- we lived near the University of Kansas at the time and were able to get our son involved in all sorts of programs through the university as well as an intensive speciallized preschool through the school district there). Read every book you can get your hands on. Most of all, don't beat yourself up when things don't work. I remember feeling as if potty training was some sort of an odyssey, but it did happen. You will be amazed at how your son progresses. And, he will always be the same little boy to you that he was before you got the label. Good luck in the journey.

Leslie - posted on 09/06/2009

First of all, you are not alone. My 15yo was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome at age 6 and he is completely mainstreamed in High School holding a 3.0 gpa. It is a difficult but rewarding road you are facing but be encouraged, there are lots of resources available to help you travel this path. There are support groups out there and your diagnosing doctor should be able to provide that information for you. If not you can contact Health and Welfare, area hospitals, etc. and they should be able to point you in the right direction.

I do not know what state you are in but in Idaho, children on the spectrum can be eligible for medicaid that will help pay for therapies, doctors visits, medication, etc. Check into those resources ASAP as it can take a while to get all of the paperwork through the system.

A couple of good websites for written resources is http://www.asperger.net/bookstore.htm & http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/ .

Be encouraged, this is a wonderful opportunity to help your child be the best they can be and it is an incredibly rewarding experience. I now work with children in the school district who have sever and profound disabilities and when they achieve milestones it is incredibly rewarding.

Stephanie - posted on 09/06/2009

My son Aaron was diagnosed just after his 2nd year check up. When he turned two he said two words. They put him in a class two days a week and he had speech and ot. Before he was 2 1/2 he could tell me when he wanted a drink. He could tell me when he was hungry and if he was hurt. He just turned 4 last week and now he never shuts up. ( Not that I'm complaining). Anyway what I am trying to say is that the trerapy really works, and the best thing you can do is really pay attention to what they do and do the same things at home. Every thing is a chance for him to learn something. I'm not sure what state you are in, but in Ohio we have Early Intervention, and they really helped find exactly whatmy son needed. Also research anything and everything you can about autism and the services available in your area. There is help out there for our little angels. Inform yourself as best as you can. Good luck and if you ever need to just talk and unload I will be glad to lend an ear. I have been were you are and now I am raising my son, along with his sister and three brothers, with the help of my mom. You can do it.
Stephanie

Chrissy - posted on 09/06/2009

I am going through the same thing that you are. But my son is almost five. I started to see changes in him around age 1 1/2 to age 2. I took him to doctors. Some told me that he would out grow it, some said that he was deaf but is not true, some diagnosed him with a "Speech delay and disruptive behavioral disorder" two things that I told when I made his appt. But on July 16, 2009 we got the diagnose of Autsim. I was pretty sure that he had it but I still felt like they told me he had cancer. At first I did the why me questions. Now its life. I fight for my sons rights. Go to the schools, see if there is a place in your area called AEA or Area Education Agency. There is also a Mental Health Wavier that you can sign up for at your local DHS office. It will automaically allow him to have medicad and alot of other services. And believe me the medical bills will start to pile up after awhile.

Debbie - posted on 09/06/2009

Hi Brandy

I know what you are going through. I have 3 children the eldest with Aspergers syndrome a mild form of autism, the middle has mild autism they both fine,the 3rd one has severe autism.



He was growing up fine,giving eye contact,trying to talk. When he was 2 he changed.

I had to have test and thats when they told he had autism. I cried because i thought not again. I was down for a while, but i had support from the family centre i went to. Also the nursery he goes to. Without the support groups i also go to, i do not think i can cope. I not am going to say it will be easy,there is help out there. Sometimes i get down because he still is not talking. But support from friends,family and family centre help me through it. My other 2 children also spoke late,that gives me hope. I give him omega 3 oils and some vitamins which helps him. I hope i have given you some good advice. Don't worry he will be fine.

Also look at what he is eating.

Brandy - posted on 09/06/2009

Yes my son does talk but they said he has the vocabulary of an 18-21 month old. He's never said His name nor has he ever said "I love you" which kills me inside cause when he comes up to me and hugs me and kisses me and rubs my cheeck i know he does he just cant say it!!

Erica - posted on 09/06/2009

I was wondering does your son talk? If not i have a few ideas that I have used for my 3 yr old to help him communicate more, kinda helps with the meltdowns and frustration. Send me a message and ill tell ya all about it

Rhionna - posted on 09/06/2009

My son has been diagnosed as ASD recently too, he has been going tospeech therapy for about 4 months now ( he stated before he was diagnosed) and he has come on leaps and bounds in that time. We intergrate his speech therapy into our day by making games out of it.

How you're feeling is fine, deep down I knewn that Chris was autistic but having it confirmed still hit me like a ton of bricks, you're "grieving" for the child you "lost". I still have good and bad days as I'm sure you will. Read "the special mother" by Erma Bombeck, that really helped me!

Brandy - posted on 09/05/2009

Quoting Erica:

First take a deep breath and relax!! My youngest was diagnosed @ 22 months. Go to www.autismspeaks.org and sign up for the 100 day kit! Its a binder full of useful information and it tells you what to do for the first 100 days after the diagnosis. Good luck and god bless!

Thank you Erica i went to the website and ordered it that was an awsome suggestion!! Thank you all for the support this is a very overwellming situation but you all are deff. making it easier!! Thank you all for sharing your personal experinces with me as well!

Monica - posted on 09/05/2009

My son was diagnosed w/ PDD/NOS when he was a year old with early intervention...my son received Speech, OT, PT and ABA...It was the best thing for us...He improved in eye contact, speech and behavor...It also helped me understand him more and communicate better with him...I would tell friends its like Nanny 411...they really help you...Now my son is 4yrs old...hes so into spelling..he can spell about 40 words..and his speech hes going thru that phase of a broken record lol... I love every minute of it...Things get better if the kids get all the help they need...And it will def. get better for you..

Erica - posted on 09/05/2009

First take a deep breath and relax!! My youngest was diagnosed @ 22 months. Go to www.autismspeaks.org and sign up for the 100 day kit! Its a binder full of useful information and it tells you what to do for the first 100 days after the diagnosis. Good luck and god bless!

Melissa - posted on 09/05/2009

Hi Brandy, You are sooo lucky that you caught it early cause my son was 5 before they ever diagnosed him with autisim. The doctors kept telling me " aww theres notthing wrong with him, every child develops differently, he will get better" but he never did so now it's harder on him and us. My son does Occupational therapy once a week and also gets it in school as well as speech, he started last year and he has come such a long way. It is hard but as a parent you can do it. There is so much to learn about autisim. I am still learning. If you ever need to vent , I am here to listen.......Take care, Melissa

Teresa - posted on 09/05/2009

I have a 13 year old son who is an Aspie. We found out at about age 3. I was devastated, cried, did the why me, etc. What I can tell you today is that despite the challenges, he is one of my greatest blessings. He has the sweetest, most innocent soul, has a great sense of humor and is very likeable and loyal to those who love him and whom he loves. He has taught me the true meaning of patience and perserverance. Nothing has come easily with him and therefore all the rewards are that much greater! What I suggest is that you become your child's "specialist". Read whatever you can get your hands on about autism, find local support groups/local autism society, psychs that are specialists in autism, etc. and take every service that is offered without question! I have done everything from a brushing/joint compression protocol, to craniosacral therapy to occupational and speech therapy. We've done it all and I believe that early intervention was key to getting him as high functioning as he is today. As you go through the day, take advantage of the teachable moments particularly when you're out in public. Talk to him and point out how people are interacting with others, etc. so he can begin to take notice. Also, regarding eye contact...I play a game with my son (he's very competitive) and I say, "I bet I can look into your eyes longer than you can look into mine!" I usually win, but it has helped tremendously with his eye contact level. Find what works with your child and do that. There's a special place in heaven for us moms with AS kids! :)

Terri - posted on 09/05/2009

Brandy, your son sounds almost identical to my boy at that age! I hope my first post to you gives you hope. Jared is doing extremely well! You sound like a very good mama and I know you'll get him the help he needs. He's going to be fine. Take heart! :)

Terri - posted on 09/05/2009

Brandy, my son was around that age when diagnosed with autism. At that time he was VERY autistic! I got him started early with a special school that specialized with autism and other special needs. He continued this after leaving that program with other specialized schooling. He is now 9 (he'll be 10 Dec. 13th) and is doing fantastic!! He's in regular school and even passed his WASL test at the end of the school year for both math and reading (I just found out!).



I was devastated with the news, but like you felt relief that at least I knew for sure what was going on and could take the steps to help him.



Get plugged into the autism support groups, etc. in your area ASAP. Learn from the moms in your area that have been there.



By the way, we have always treated him as "normal". We didn't give him license to act out just because he was autistic. However, we tried to avoid certain situations that wouldn't overwhelm him.



Edited to add: People are really shocked when I tell them he has high-functioning autism! Early intervention is definitely key!



Feel free to ask me any questions! Or if you just need an experienced mom to talk to. I'll add you to my circle of friends, and feel free to add me as a friend on FB. I'm new to circle of moms, so I don't know if that happens automatically or not.



Best of luck to you! You're going to do great!! :)



Terri

Stacey - posted on 09/05/2009

Hi Brandy, my son is 2 1/2 and we are waiting for him to be tested, but he has been going to a speech pathologist for a few months and has been going to a special school 1/2 day a week for over a month. His speech pathologist and myself are positive he has autism, but at the mild end. Since it was brought to our attention by our speech pathologist, I have spent a lot of time reading as much as I can online, one of the best things I have come across is the GFCF (gluten-free/ casein-free) diet and I have just started my son on it. I also ordered some books to read, I found Jenny McCarthy's books 'louder than words' and 'mother warriors' to be a good read.

Brandy - posted on 09/05/2009

Quoting Alicia:

Did you have the assesment done through the school district or a private practice? If you haven't contacted the school district yet you should do that ASAP. They will be required to establish services for him. Some states provide early childhood special education or ECSE at age 3 and older but a lot of times children on the spectrum are started earlier due to the importance of early intervention.Try to get him into an autism specific ECSE class if possible. Find out who the autism specialist is in your district and call them. There is a federal law requiring all states to provide a free and appropriate education for our children. The AS will be able to guide you in getting what your son needs. But the most important thing you will learn as you continue on this journey is that you will have to be your sons advocate. If you don't think they are providing enough services fight for more. Just make sure you fight nice until there isn't another option :) My son will be 3 at the end of this month. He was diagnosed in Nov. of 08. It does get easier I promise. Therapy will help. Get him as much of it as you can. The other incredibly important peice in this is getting yourself a crash course in autism. Educate yourself and you will be a better advocate for your son. You'll know what to ask for and how to help him. The first few weeks are the hardest but you'll get through them. I wouldn't stress too much about the genetic tests. As far as I understand it the results don't really give you a specific absolute reason for the disorder most of the time. Even if it does it doesn't really impact how you treat it from here on out so if you're not comfortable calling your ex right now don't.

It was through the reginoal center. So i can still go throught he school district now? I was under the impression i had to wait till he was 3?

Brandy - posted on 09/05/2009

WOW- i really cant begin to express how thankfull i am to all of you who have replied to my post!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! All of you have giving so much helpfull advise and thank you for sharing your stories so now i KNOW im not alone in this!

Cyndie - posted on 09/04/2009

Hi, I found out when my son was about 3, his doctor referred him to a local org. where he was put into a class that met with him 3 times a week for about 1 hr and behavioral specialist. I don't know if your son has a sensitivity to sound. I had to learn to cut my son's hair at home. He would kick and scream through a hair cut, it took 3 of us to hold him. That was the worst of it though today at age 7, he just had his first hair cut and did great didn't even cry. He can put some sentences together, plays with other kids at school, interacts with others, is polite, I can't tell you what a change and difference we've seen and it is all because he was worked with as soon as we found out. We are still learning as you will. Yes I agree that there should be consequences to bad behavior these are very smart children just like any other so don't let the disability make you feel guilty. We make our son sit on the stairs count from 10 backwards and take deep breaths and then give us a thumbs up when he has settled down. It takes some practice but stick to it. Be involved at school IEP's listen to what they do in the classroom to teach him and do the same at home be consistent he will be better because of it. Good luck.

Vikki - posted on 09/04/2009

hello i have a son with autism we found out at 4....it is very hard to deal with as ive been ill with depression he seems to get worse as he gets older...but thebest thing is to get lots of advise help and support and to talk to other people who have got kids with the same thing have u tried the national autistic society or ian autism sites they are good with advise and things :)

Stacy - posted on 09/04/2009

I have a friend on facebook her name is Katie Bates Martins if you look her up she will help you alot she works with kids with autism and shes also is a therapist!

Tela - posted on 09/04/2009

Have you heard of the book Disconnected Kids by Dr. Robert Melillo (founder of Brain Balance)? The book provides great insight into how the brain of a autistic child works and gives gives you assessment tools and home exercises. You can find out more about the Brain Balance program at www.brainbalancegablog.com. Hope this helps!

Candy - posted on 09/03/2009

Your son's symptoms sound nearly identical to my son who was diagnosed Aug 25. He is 28 months old. I suggest looking at jenny mccarthy's web site. Generation Rescue.com i believe I also read her book...Warrior moms it offers a great deal of hope! Also gives additional web sites. I would like to add you to my circle of moms so we can try to help eachother out.

Sherry - posted on 09/03/2009

Brandy - I went through the EXACT same thing just over a year ago...and BOY what a difference a year makes. At the end of the day, Autism is just a word, it does not in any way CHANGE who your son is, or change who he was BEFORE the diagnosis - now you are going to know how to help him! READ READ READ! Go to the Library - knowledge is power! Start with an easy read, "10 things every Autistic child wishes you knew" is a nice place to start. then try "Oversoming Autism" by Lynn Kern Koegel. Speech is key - my son is now JUST starting EIBI (2 weeks in) and already we are seeing more responsivity (responding) but not a lot of intelligibility yet (but it will come, I know it will!). Listen - don't let it get you down - take your time now and greive over what your vision of your son WAS, and embrace what he is now. Without your help now, and early is SOOOO crucial, he is lost! the professionals are there to show YOU what to do - you have to put the time in at home, or it's all for nothing. And make it all play, not too stressful. Push, but not too much! Your son is amazing, and you are blessed! Blessed because you are about to relish in EVERY LITTLE THING your son will learn, from something as simple as a 2 foot jump or a 5 second eye gaze, things other people take for granted! Congratulations, and "Welcome to Holland" (look it up - beautiful!!).

Marilyn - posted on 09/03/2009

Go to your local school they should have a special school in your area that helps with Autisum. There might be a waiting list to get into the school. But it is well worth it. My grand-daughter was diagnosed a little over a year ago and they have enrolled her in the school and she is doing alot better. Plus talk to your childs doctor he/she should have more suggestions on what you can do for your child. Also when my son and daughter-in-law found out they got on the internet and did alot of research on it there are alot of support groups you can join on the internet.

Barbara - posted on 09/03/2009

i totally know the feeling! the day my son was diagnosed all i could do was question everything and come up with nothing. my son had a play therapist so she recommended an occupational therapist. she also recommended that we use community support. they help services and make sure the services he gets are apporiate for him. i was having trouble finding a doctor and getting the occupational therapist to call me back, i called my case mgr and the next day they called me with the info. they are also there to here me vent when im frustrated with the mental health system in general which really comes in handy. my son just started kindergaten and they are helping get the meeting setup and everything. i recently joined an autism support group in my area, knowing and having other moms with kids like mine is awesome. i hope u find some of this useful

Kay - posted on 09/03/2009

Early intervention is great, but the main thing is to always accept your child for exactly who he is. My daughter was diagnosed at three, and I have just poured love into her, along with accepting help. The book Engaging Autism was really helpful to me. Follow your child's interests, and that will bridge the gap from him to the world! My daughter learned to read from watching closed caption public television (such as Sesame Street) and I think this helped her learn about social interaction too, before she started preschool. She is doing great, and I bet your son will do just as well. Love and acceptance first, then help, then success!