my 4yr old lil girl has violent fits.any helpful hints?

Jessica - posted on 06/05/2012

We have an almost 3 y/o in a child care setting. He has fits and sometimes it gets so bad that he head butta, pulls hair, screams , throws himself on the floor. The directors come in and remove hi from the classroom when he gets into these rages. At that point he is so worked up that he screams and runs up and down the hall and try's to get into the classroom. He has been diagnosed autistic and doesnt have verbal skills to tell us what wrong. He also has allergies to wheat, soy, and other thing and it causes him to itch badly. Idk what to do .... Any help would be great.

Anita - posted on 10/13/2009

I felt all the other comments were great too. Trying too many things can be hard on both of you so start slowly. Making a folder that holds cards transitioning her through daily activities and preparing her for new ones can also help her reduce anxiety leading to fewer outbrsts. I have my own time-out chair and my kids have learned that mommy even needs to calm down sometimes.

Anita - posted on 10/13/2009

It's not your job to calm her down. Give her a sign to use for mad, sad, and tired. These can be made of paper at first. Put them where she can point or hand them to you. She needs to know that she cannot hurt anyone or herself so help her learn this by staying calm and speaking clearly. She can be placed on a small rug or beanbag chair at this time. She may not stay and don't force her to. Give her the signs and ask her to show you her words. Very hard to do during an episode and no response for at least 10 events is common, but the day she relaxes enough to give you the sighn communication has begun! This technique works because kids on the spectrum need many opportunities to express their feelings before being able to breakout . Giving them a physical way to tell you when under stress reduces the violent episodes duration and intensity. I have seen my own kids go from hitting and screaming to handing me card that showed a glass of water because they just needed a drink or different shoes. Be a thermastat and control your emotions during their meltdowns, try not to be a thermometor and let them control how hot you get. Hope this helps you out.

Heather - posted on 10/12/2009

Janelle,

My son has fits also. I bites himself (fingers) when he's nervous, mad, over stimulated, etc. I think we are finally getting a grip on it. The OT said that if we can prepare his mind in advance it will help with transitions. I start the night before and tell him what the morning will be like and what he is going to do. Then remind him when we wake up. Seems to help a bit. Also when he gets mad he stops talking, so I have to get down to his level and remind him to use his words. (Still look out for the unsuspected head butt!)

I felt the same way about the meds as you. I finally tried Tenex. It was a non stimulant. It starts out at a very low dose and you can move up slowly until you see a change. my son is at half of the dose they wanted and we saw an improvement with out the "zombie effect". I'm glad we tried it. It was a hard choice to make! I believe HE feels better on it and he can slow down and communicate with people. He seems a lot happier. Don't get me wrong, we still have our moments.

Janelle - posted on 10/12/2009

she loves sensory play! but at times it doesnt work. i have had my nose broken by her, my tooth chipped and several black eyes! she also bites and draws blood! she wears a soft helmet to protect herself but she has figured out how to unsnap it and take it off while in her fits! other moms have told me to get a restrant chair but that seems crul to me! i cant see putting my baby girl in one! i can deal with her hurting me but when she hurts herself and her siblings i am at a loss! thank you so much for some of the suggestions! she does have a blanket she calls "bang" that i wrap her up in like a taco but that seldom works! and i am not ready to put her on any meds. i feel she is way too young and i dont want her be be "zombied" out. thank you again for the tips. i will try the quite time with her and see how that plays out.

Donna - posted on 10/10/2009

the world is very confusing for these kiddos, my 19 y.o. w/PDD began violent episodes around age 3, began meds age 5, still on meds, best trt over the years have been combination of medication therapy, counseling and behavior modification, social skills groups, etc.

Sheila - posted on 10/10/2009

this might sound odd, but does she respond to a weighted blanket? Is her aggression because she is over-stimulated? If so, she might need the sensory slow-down of a weighted blanket...is possible have her lie down, and gently cover her (no deep squishes or compressions...just so she feels the weight and the darkness so she has a moment to come down...when my son is upset, he yanks at his blankets, and gets that resistance that somehow works to calm himself down...when he was littler, I would put him under a regular blanket and encourage him to breathe...all are different, but he often needed a sensory break.



Good luck.

Colleen - posted on 10/10/2009

you really can't calm her down ... she has to come out of it herself ... i learned this the hard way ... all you can really do is brace yourself and give her like a bear hug so she doesn't hurt herself ... you may get a hit or 2 but that's better than her slamming her head on the floor or something ... good luck! ... =)

Maria Lourdes - posted on 10/10/2009

It can get really frustrating but you will need a lot of patience. My 9 year old son does the same. Just keep redirecting her and and find out what soothes her. My son loves to be tickled. We tickle him to distract him from his aggression. It will be a hit or miss at times, but everntually your daughter will calm down.

Courtney - posted on 10/10/2009

I have a 9yr old son. We still have to redirect him, explain that it is not acceptable, and give him some quite time alone. As she ges older, she will find what calms her.

Jodie - posted on 10/10/2009

my son is also 4 and has pdd-nos. when he gets upset or starts to have a meltdown I sometimes hold him(safely) untill he tells me he is done and has calmed down. that usually works for him but sometimes Ill have him go to his room for a quick quiet time. depends on how upset he is.

Amelia - posted on 10/09/2009

Every child is so unique. Has anything worked in the past? Does she like a particular kind of music? Will she let you hold her tightly (but safely) until she calms? Is there somewhere you can help her learn to go when she is becoming upset and needs some space? I don't know how verbal she is, but would a picure symbol help her to see and say, "I need space."? Sometimes having a "quiet area" that is safe and theirs helps children feel more in control.

Lisa - posted on 10/09/2009

where are yopu from...i have a 13 year old child safety have recently removed her from my care...trying to build a case up and if not confront child safety as a group for a family meeting...my child self harms herself and hurts me...but mental health say it is behavioural to me that is something not right here and i believe it falls under mental..