my child screams most of the time especially when he is watching tv

Uloma - posted on 03/05/2012

thanks for your suggestions, i will watch closely to try and figure out what upsets him, i have been trying to sing to him or hug and cuddle him when he starts screaming because he really loves to cuddle and that seems to help a little but i know i can't be able to do that every time he is having tantrum. but i will keep all you've said in mind, i appreciate this so much.

Janet - posted on 03/05/2012

Hi!

This can be incredibly overwhelming, but first, take a breath because it does get better!



Okay, in order to get him to stop, or to do something else - you need to figure out *why* he's screaming or crying. To do this, you can chart it - just keep a small log or chart on your fridge or wherever is accessible easily in your house. Then, keep track of what happens just before, during, AND just after he screams or cries.



We do this because there are 4 basic reasons that a child does something, or has a 'behavior'. They can be remembered with the acronym SEAT because they are "Sensory", "Escape", "Attention", and "Tangible".



When something is affecting them in a sensory manner, it is affecting one or more of their 6 senses, and they either really like it, or really hate it. For instance, if a child is sensitive to light, a really bright room may make them overload and have a meltdown. If a child enjoys sensory touches, they may squeeze themselves into tiny places and get stuck. A child who gets overwhelmed with something may beat their head off a wall because they are trying to get only ONE sense so that they have something to focus on that sticks out to them, instead of all of their senses reacting to a situation.



Escape is just that - they want to escape a demand or task you've asked of them.



Attention is also pretty simple, they want some attention from you and they'll do anything they can think of to get it, usually something that has worked for them in the past.



Tangible means that they get something from you. For instance, if your child is nonverbal and throws their cup on the floor - you may pick it up, ask them if they want juice, and get them juice. Then they learn that every time they want juice, they'll throw their cup and you get it. Then it leaves you wondering "WHY does my son throw is cup 10 times a day!! Does he not like it??!" but in reality, he just wants juice.



So that said, once you start charting, you'll likely see a pattern in what gets him screaming, or what shows on tv do that to him. Once you figure it out, you can work to a plan of action to adjust or avoid the situation and reaction.



My kids have a sensitivity to something in Jazz music and it makes them completely freak out. I can't say what it is, but I know its jazz lol! If I want to listen to jazz myself, since I really enjoy it - I use a headset myself.



I also figured out that my daughter would go into the fridge and get ketchup on her when she wanted a bath. She learned that one time I gave her a bath when she was covered in ketchup.



My other daughter would scream and beat her head off the floor when she was overwhelmed. We replaced this with a headset and some music. Now when she's feeling overwhelmed, she asks for music and sits quietly by herself instead of screaming and beating her head off the floor or wall.



It takes a bit of time, and you may need someone to help identify if there is a pattern in the behavior, but a little work and I'm sure you can figure it out - when that happens you'll be better prepared to respond to the situation so that it gets a less stressful resolution!



Good luck and feel free to ask any questions, I know I just wrote a lot... sorry about that!