My eldest son is autistic, and they think my 2yr old is to, how will i cope??

Angi - posted on 05/28/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Joshua is 8 and is autistic, my baby is 2 and is showing autistic traits, we do get some support, but as the boys get older their behaviour is becoming more challenging and im finding it so hard to cope with. Will I ever fully understand why the boys act like they do? I seem to spend all my time walking on egg shells waiting for the next out-burst, when all I really want to do is enjoy being with my boys.

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Kelli - posted on 06/03/2009

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I have a 8 yr old son who is nonverbal and how i deal with him is if he wants something he has to ask for it or he don't get it.He can also sign the things he wants one or the other is good enough for me as long as i can understand him then i reward him with something he likes.

Kelli - posted on 06/03/2009

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The first thing is to accept them the way they are and treat them as you would as if they were normal.I have a 8 yrs old son with downsyndrome and I have been ask if my son was diagonist with autisum to because he had traits but that is part of having downsyndrome he is very routine. Hun take the challenges as they come the more challenges you have the more the easier it gets

Tami - posted on 06/02/2009

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i have a 10 year old who is autistic too. everyday is a challenge and it doesn't get any easier , I'm having a really hard time with his violent behavior, he is nonverbal , not potty trained, and i have to do everything for him because mentally he is only 3. he is going to easter seals and they have provided occupational therapy, and speech therapy.Are your boys nonverbal?

Cheryl - posted on 05/31/2009

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hi i have a son called josh who is 5 years old, he is autistic, he only says single words and finds it very hard to communicate with us, he still wont use a toilet, he dosent seem to get the idea of it yet, i completey understand where your coming from, i also have a 2 year old little girl and we think she is starting to show signs of austism, everyone keeps saying she is so different to her brother but that doesnt mean she wont be autistic, i find it very hard with my son and dont know how i will cope if it happens again.

Aimee - posted on 05/29/2009

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Katherine's reply has me laughing because last summer one of my twin boys was in the men's room for an hour taking a shower and made me a nervous wreck. They showered at home from then on because I was trying to keep track of all three kids and my 2 year old kept running away from me and the third was hiding behind bushes outside the pool because he didn't want to go home.

RESPICE is what I was thinking. In MO through the Regional Center there is funding, well, I'm on a waiting list for funding. Mine are for the most part high functioning, I think, although we do have meltdowns in public places and inappropriate behavior and actions all the time.

Angi, seek out whatever you need. I honestly don't know how you'll do it if they both are full-blown autistic. I had a hard time with my twins before I found out they were PDD, now with three children I feel less out of control because I know these conditions have nothing to do with our parenting. But you'll survive and I'm sure with the right services/training (you and them) their behaviors will get more managable. If you aren't, can you live close to family to help you through all of this? You already have good advice above, and they are correct. Don't plan on understanding them, but have you read some of the autobiographies by autistic people? I just read an Aspie's book, "Look Me in the Eye" which was spectacular. This guy had an interesting life and explains how he thinks and how he had to learn to adapt to survive.

Katherine - posted on 05/28/2009

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tHE ROUGH ANSWER IS YOU'LL COPE BECAUSE THERE'S NO OTHER OPTION. tHE TRUE ANSWER IS YOU NEED TOMAKE USE OF EVERY FACILITY IN YOUR AREA. fIND OUT FROM THE DOCTORS OR SCHOOL IF THERE IS A REGIONAL CENTER THAT HELPS WITH THIS. In Ventura county, Ca where I live its called tri-counties and they will send someone out to babysit who is getting a degree in special ed teaching to give you a break. They will set up a mentor for each child as they get older who can take em to the beach or help them with occupatioan thereaphy which for kids is more of how to hold a pencil right to make your handwriting a little more readable or sitting down with you and the child to moderate in a conversation about why they don't want their hair washed and find a way to do it that they will accept and not scream thru. My son has to have his music playing on the boombox we put in the bathroom just for that purpose as a trade off for doing things he doesn't like to do like brushing teeth and washing his hair. The mentor had him take a shower in a bathing suit with the door open so I was comfortable with it and walked him thru how to take a shower in less that the 45 minutes he was taking without missing anything - organizing him to start at the top with washing his face and hair and move top to bottom so you don't skip washing armpits or bottom.

Michelle - posted on 05/28/2009

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i guess it all comes down to what your own definition of coping is....! all you can probably do is just try and avoid things that you suspect are going to cause issues...don't feel bad because you don't always understand why they do whatever it is they do from time to time...sometimes they themselves don't understand it so how are we supposed to? we are just here to love them, support them and do the best we can by them...if you can manage that then you ARE coping!

Amanda - posted on 05/28/2009

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First thing is join a local parent facilitated suppoort group and then see if you have a Center for Autism and Related Disorders (CARD) program in your area. They will be your free education and support. You will cope with the help of a strong network of other parents, friends and especially family. Educate your family members as much as you can. Good Luck!

Amanda - posted on 05/28/2009

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First thing is join a local parent facilitated suppoort group and then see if you have a Center for Autism and Related Disorders (CARD) program in your area. They will be your free education and support. You will cope with the help of a strong network of other parents, friends and especially family. Educate your family members as much as you can. Good Luck!

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