My son is driving me to dispair

Leona - posted on 02/12/2009

I know this doesnt solve your problem but i do the same thing with my son he just get me so frustrated i retaliate.  We have music players like mp3 player and when he listen to this it helps calm him down we also talk this out when we go somewhere or we have major tnatrums.

Susan - posted on 02/12/2009

When your son's behavior gets "out of control," it is so very helpful to remind yourself: "It is the Autism."  Autism is a social disability, and verbal communication can be extremely difficult for our kids - even the ones who are only mildly affected.  So ask yourself what his "bad" behavior trying to tell you.  

My second piece of advice is to use a discipline system where your child "earns" rewards through good behavior.  For children with Autism, a reward system is much more effective than taking things away. 

Good luck!

Yvonne - posted on 02/12/2009

My son is 9 and he also has Aspergers. He is very intelligent, but has no respect for authority. I recently found a book called "Transforming the Difficult Child". It gives very easy to follow ideas on how to change their whole perspective around from defiance to compliance. Have slowly started to implement with my son and have already started to see a difference. My son has also drastically improved since I changed his diet and got him excited about eating healthy. Once they feel validated, you can guide them towards the right choices while they think that it was their idea. Brilliant Book. The authors are Howard Glasser and Jennifer Easley. Good Luck.

Sandy - posted on 02/11/2009

It sounds like he is behaving like a normal teenager.  I have 7 kids and 4 of them are either out of already, in , or just about in teenager land.  My almost 15 year son old acts the same way and he is not on the spectrum.  i just removed the TV from his room 2 weeks ago.  OMG the fit!  He made life miserable for everyone in the house for days thinking I would give it back. 

My kids (2 boys) on the spectrum are only just going to be 5 and I am not lookng forward to hormones.  I suggest while his is in a "normal" state of mind or a "good mood" rather, sit down with him and go over rules and consequesnces.  He is old enough to understand. YOU need to stick to them no matter how much of a fit he has, make a chart if you have too.  If he gets really upset when you say the word "NO", then don't say it.  Think of a different way to express the same meaning.  If he asks for ___, the say something like "i understand that you want ___ and it is really important too you "  or  "is it on the chart for today' , "what were our rules about that?"  Most importantly and the hardest part...I know, is keeping YOUR cool. 

I don't know your son and don't kow what will work for him.  I am sure someone else will have some more ideas and suggestion.  Good luck.

Diane - posted on 02/11/2009

My son is only 7 and not yet diagnosed but when he is (i think he will be) he will be classed as mild autism.

Not sure about your son due to the age difference but i have been told that taking their favourite things away is too much of a punishment, in my experience it doesn't actually work and i feel at times he can't control his behaviour so is unfair. It's so hard to know what to do. Hopefully someone with an older child can advise you.