My son never wants to leave the house...

Eleanor - posted on 08/09/2011 ( 12 moms have responded )

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My son refuses to leave the house...even to do things he usually enjoys. He isolates himself in his room and plays happily for hours. The only interaction he gets is from us, or if other children come over.

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Rachel - posted on 08/24/2011

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my son is the same age and is diagnosed with aspergers which comes with a certain amount of add & anxiety; he would love to be home all the time but goes to school and camp without a problem; He doesn't want to go shopping or do any extracurriculars unless we force it; Even if we take him somewhere he loves - like a pool or beach - there is a certain amount of complaining and then he may have the best day ever; Sometimes we force it and sometimes we don't.

Carol - posted on 08/25/2011

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We're in the same boat with the same age boy. He'll be 11 in a couple of weeks. All he wants to do is videogames and computers. I swear if we could put a computer in the bathroom he'd never leave the room.

We limit the computer some what. I find it hard since it's the only thing that makes him happy. We also make it a routine that we will do things over the weekend. We get out and do something active like a hike or something. Church on Sundays. Scouts on Mondays. He doesn't gripe as much if he knows they're coming. He's the same way as yours are about the things he likes doing like swimming. He'll crab about it for 1/2 an hour and then have a ball once we're there.

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I might recommend a neuropsychological eval to look at big picture issues - social and emotional issues as well as anxiety. Is there any problem when he goes to school? does he have friends there?

Ev - posted on 03/18/2017

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I agree with Sarah. If he has a TV in the bedroom he needs to loose it. They say it contributes to kids not getting enough sleep at night. Also you control the phone and other tech devices not him.

Annemariethomson - posted on 04/16/2016

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My 5 year old grandson goes to school ok but at weekends he refuses to leave the house without a major battle. Even if it is something he would like .going to cinema or shopping for a toy. When away in car always asking to come back to our town and asks are we nearly home . My daughter has had two appointments with a child specialist as she was thinking he maybe had autism as he has lots of traits but she said hes fine. He is a very highly strung and very sensitive. It makes leaving the house very stressful for both his mum and him.

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Sarah - posted on 03/18/2017

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Why does he have a phone and a TV at his disposal? It is go you have been limiting his phone use, maybe get rid of it all together. He may not be being bullied but he could be anxious, depressed, struggling with learning. Has he been going to school or has he been permitted to stay home? How is he sneaking food? Modeling healthy eating as a family can help with that behavior. Every meal and snack time becomes a family activity. That way you know what he is eating and that he is getting enough to eat. Does he have siblings? What other activities does he participate in with others?

Angiercondon - posted on 03/18/2017

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My son is turning 10 soon and has been refusing to go to school the past two weeks. Complaining and crying that he is sick. On the weekends he just sits in his room either watching videos or playing in his phone. We have had to limit the phone but then he tends to sneak food more. This has all recently gotten worse and he won't talk to us at all. He even complains and then refuses to eat at the dinner table with us. I am struggling with what to do so we have an appointment within the family doctor this week to discuss options. I have also talked to the school about the possibility of being bullied but they had reassured me that he has friends and gets along with everyone. Any suggestions would be great I want to help him now before it gets even worse.

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I recommend a great tool called Social Stories - it uses comic strip like cartoons to illustrate social behavior. Check out www.graycenter.org for examples.

Rachel - posted on 08/24/2011

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At least he likes to shop for toys! Mine doesn't like toys - only videogames.

Eleanor - posted on 08/24/2011

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That's what I've been doing too, picking my battles, and celebrating the times he asks to make a shopping list, even though I know it's a ploy to get to browse in the toy section. He love going to school and is well accepted there, but often i very hard on himself when he makes a social blunder...I spend a lot of time reassuring him, and helping him to figure out better social choices now that he i growing up.

Eleanor - posted on 08/23/2011

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He is 10, and going into grade 5 - I haven't spoken to any professional therapists about anxiety...I frequently try to initiate discussions about how he is feeling, or if he is worried about anything...with little result...he will leave the house to go shopping if there are toys he would like to look at or purchase, but when we force him to go, there is screaming and crying until we get going and refocus him with teasing and silly games in the car...then he is fine and happy...

[deleted account]

I'm assuming your son is diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder? Is he old enough to be attending school? if he's 3 to 5,therapeutic preschool a couple of days a week could be really helpful. Have you spoken to a psychologist or psychiatrist about anxiety issues? what things will he leave the house for, and how does he respond when he has to go?

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