My teenager heading to high school with asperger's

Martha - posted on 07/17/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My son is about to start tenth grade in public high school, and with his social issues I am worried. He dose'nt seem worried at all ,but dose'nt get it when kids are mean and rude to him. I have thought about private or home school, but he wanted to do the automotive (his thing) program they offer. He makes really good grades ,but not many friends. If anything I would ask that you would pray for him and our family. I know God has a plan for him I just can't see past the struggle right now.

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Lisa - posted on 07/20/2009

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I just said a prayer for you & your family..May god bless that beautiful heart of his!!!

Michelle - posted on 07/19/2009

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Hi Virginia I am Michelle. Could you please tell me some of the symptoms of the pervasive developmental disorder? My son also gets made fun of and does not even realize it. He is also very immature for his age. That is what the school says and some things I do see as being inmature, and other things I see as him just being a kid. What is the age now that these kids have to start acting like mini adults??? Any info would be greatly appreciated. I fought and fought with our school to get John some kind of help. They kept telling me it was behavior, behavior....but I kept thinking what is making him behave like this. Took him to Auditory Process Eval. Dr Appts and after 1 year of fighting with the school. He will now get OT therapy, more speech therapy, and special education services at school. I know the fight has just begun and have a lifetime left. There is nothing I won't do for my son, but sometimes Im not sure if I should scream, cry, or just pull my hair out. Thanks for Listening..so glad I found this site. None of my friends have a child like John so it is hard to talk about with others not like John!!!



Thanks Again,

Michelle

Virginia - posted on 07/19/2009

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My prayers are with you and your family. My son has pervasive developmental disorder. This means that the doctors cannot place him as autistic disorder or aspergers because he shows signs of both.

My son is on an IEP through the special ed department. He is totally mainstream and also attends technical school. I would suggest that your son be placed on an IEP for his own benefit.

Your right; many autistic people don't understand when someone is poking fun at them. Many times, this heart wrenching, such as when my son gave his Ipod to a girl who had befriended him and then dumped him after she received the Ipod (he worked 6 months to save for it) and the school couldn't do anything about it because we couldn't prove it was his. I think just as we need to learn to process emotional setbacks so do our children. For me, the hardest part is watching my son learning to deal with his condition, at his pace and his level of understanding.

Best of luck.

Er - posted on 07/18/2009

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Will do! Don't stress. Remember, he is not picking up on the cues that others are making fun or picking on him. As a parent, we want to shield our kids from all pain and hurt, but it is part of real life. We debated about putting our son through a charter public school so he would work from home, but we felt it would be a backward step for him socially at this point. We allowed him a lot of input, too since he is the one living it. Just pray for him, keep in touch with all of his teachers on a consistent basis. I email them all regularly and ask for weekly reports so that if he is missing any work, we can work together on it. My son literally forgets after he procrastinates on difficult subjects or projects. Communication with the schools is your best tool. Encourage your son to keep up the hard work and remember, he will have to deal with the world at some point. He might as well learn in a supervised environment you can be involved in. :) God bless!

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Hi Martha, my son is 30, and I know now he has asperger's, but at the time there was no diagnosis. He made straight A's, was in the band, and got a band scholarship to attend college. He didn't have a girlfriend, but became the big brother they all went to. He didn't find out until 6 years later when his sister was talking to some of the girls, they would have loved to go out with him, but he never asked. He had acquaintances that were in Scholars Bowl, FFA, and woodworking, so he got invited to things and went. He managed to hang on to one friend from high school that has been invaluable for him to talk to when he doesn't understand something. He now has a girlfriend, and they are expecting a child in December. People thought it was ok 4 or 5 years after high school to ask me if he was gay because he never dated, all sorts of questions. If I have learned one thing, I would tell you as much as we want to beat up everyone that is rude or insulting, our child doesn't want that. Daniel would always tell me, "Mom, it's ok, I can handle it." He could, I just wasn't sure I could :-) LOL

Michelle - posted on 07/17/2009

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Your son and your family are in our thought and prayers! Best of Luck to you all. My son has not had an official diagnosis yet and we are still searching for it. I totally know what you mean about the not getting it when people are rude and mean. My son John is 8yrs old and thinks that the world is the little town we live in. Doesn't catch on when kids make fun of him for how he talks etc. It breaks my heart. Hopefully soon we will have a better understanding of all this.

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