Carol - posted on 04/23/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )
Long story - sorry. My son has Asperger's. We know it, the doctor knows it, the elem. school teacher knows it. He's not officially diagnosed. I only discovered that there was a reason for why he was "weird" a couple of years ago. Up until 9 my husband and I had always just said that he was just like his dad. At 9 my MIL dropped a bombshell when she nonchalantly mentioned that my husband was diagnosed with Asperger's as a kid. They had legitimate reasons for not telling him and I'm not upset with them at all. It just would have helped a lot with our son. Anyway, I tried to get him diagnosed through the doctor. He was sent to a neurologist who supposedly diagnosed Asperger's. He told us that he's not set up to do that (that'll be $300 and 15 minutes thanks) but he knows a doctor who does. I called my regular doctor again and he said that since it doesn't effect his school work, just work with the school to resolve the social problems. That was at the end of elem. school. His elem counselor said to go into middle school and just say he has it. I tried that. They refuse to help without an official diagnosis. They refuse to diagnos because they say he only acts weird because we told him he has Asperger's. We only told him this summer. The previous 10 1/2 years of odd behaviors and symptoms were just flukes?!? He's getting bullied like crazy and he has no idea how to respond to these beasts. He says that it's his fault because he's a geek and he'll deal with it. He refused to name names until the last 2 weeks. I told the school that he was being bullied back when they told me that I caused his weirdness. Since he wouldn't name names, they told me that I made the bullying up along with the Asperger's.
My question (finally) -- What should I do from here? My husband's been through all this himslef. He believes that he wouldn't be the person he is today if his parents had stepped in and helped him. He thinks that we should sit back and have our son learn to cope on his own and just let him know that we support him and think he's the awesome kid that he is. If he complains about bullying suggest things that he could say, but don't go to the school. So far going to the school has only made things worse. I hate sitting back. The school should not allow kids to hurt him physically or mentally and they're doing both (mostly mental). What's worse, one of his symptoms is that he doesn't feel a normal level of pain. He told a kid that was punching him that he couldn't feel pain so the kid kept punching him harder and harder to try to test him. He could do some real damage. That was in gym class with teachers "watching" them. They did nothing to stop the kid and never checked my kid out to see if he was hurt despite it being in his files.