Need tips to potty train my non verbal 3 year old

Karen - posted on 08/21/2010

My nephew has verbal apraxia and couldn't speak in a way we could understand. My sister used goodie bags that she set out on the kitchen countertop in full view. Each time he made effort to use the bathroom, in any capacity, he got a goody bag. Inside was just little trinkets, a few small pieces of candy--whatever your child enjoys. It worked, although going #2 was more difficult. Now he speaks beautifully, though and has complete normal function. Keep us posted on how it's working! Is your son apraxic?

Karen McCabe

Clara - posted on 08/21/2010

My son who is aspergers/fas We adopted him as an infant wasn't potty trained until 4years old.
just start introduscing him to the potty by sitting him on every 2/3 hours for a few minutes at a time, It is a struggle but believe me one morning you will wake up and he will be going on his own,Our children are special God bless

Kelly Smith - posted on 08/20/2010

Does he do good with a picture schedule? Maybe have a potty picture, etc that he can show when he has to go. Have it where he can get to it easily...make sure the teacher is a ware of it..My son was 5 before we could get him to go and we had to go "cold turkey". We took away the diapers and had him go to potty every half hour. I know what a struggle it can be, I'll be sending good thoughts your way!

Madeline - posted on 08/20/2010

Summer is definitely a great time to start. I'd go with a picture sequence breaking each part down into a separate visual step and add a 'reward' step at the end.

Heidi - posted on 08/16/2010

Get him his own potty, and put it in the bathroom next to the big one. Every time that you go take him with you and have him sit just like you. He will hear the sounds, and as gross as it sounds smell the smells. If you let him see you he will be less scared of the flushing too.

Shannon - posted on 08/16/2010

Oreo's worked for us! #1 we were 4, #2 we were 5.

Samantha - posted on 08/14/2010

my son was non verbal too at 3... what helped me was i did stickers for everytime he went... soo many stickers he will get a prize.. or candy or sumthing..! and i cheered him everytime he went..! i also used the sign for potty n he picked up on that quick.! and i also let him run round the house naked.. that helped alot to!! :) i hope all this stuff is helpfull.... !! :)

Christina - posted on 08/13/2010

we are going through this right now with our four year old son! the program his ABA came up with to start with him was as simple as putting him in regular underwear once he woke up and keeping him in them all day! it does help allowing them to feel that wetness etc because they become more aware. we then started with just simply saying "lets go potty" about every 30 mins. we'd then take him in and hand over hand help him pull the bottoms down, sit(we started with sitting), and we'd just let him sit for a as long as he was willing. then he'd get up and flush and we'd hand over hand to pull up his clothes, hand washing etc. if he didn't do anything we'd give him a high five and tell him "nice job trying!" and then move on...if he had actual success we made a bigger deal and reinforced with a favorite toy or sticker of some sort. he actually picked this up quickly and within a week we were at an hour and now he says "lets go potty" on his own and independently goes into the bathroom to urinate alone! he also changed his own program so now he comes out and gives us a high five if he actually went. Bowel movements are still a work in progress...

Christine - posted on 08/13/2010

I too used th Maria Wheeler book.
My daughter is 4, high functioning & not too verbal herself. She often does not use communication to let you know that she needs to go potty. So...it's up to us the parent to get to know first when they go. Then you can "trip train" them to go when you take them there. Eventually they will "get it" that what they are supposed to do is go there...in the potty.
The worst thing I did in the beginning was use Pull Ups, as they were TOO absorbant, confuses them because they really need to associate the feeling of being wet to "going". Even my friends with "typical" children I would never recommend Pull Ups!
I went to a videocast evening at our local child development centre & there they recommended pants that were flannel on the inside & waterproof but breathable on the outer layer. (in Canada through www.gabbys.net) That way they will eventually put 2 and 2 together..."oh I just peed and now I am wet". I just had a problem because my daughter did not care if she was wet or soiled & would sit in it all day if I let her. Most kids do not like the feeling!
It's a long process (been over a year now for us), be patient & they are smart, eventually they will get the association. My girl is finally often listening to her cues & going by herself at home, with fewer accidents.
Going out somewhere is a totally different situation as the routine & familiarity is off and she will often have accidents due to a number of reasons...fear of the public washrooms (I don't blame her for that one!!), does not know where the washroom is, or can't ask to go. I keep a small potty in the car or sometimes in a backpack & put her on it between stops & it seems to help prevent accidents.
Hope that this helps! I wish you luck and that it will happen in due time with a lot of patience!

Melissa - posted on 08/12/2010

It's good you want to provide him with the tools he will need to train. After that, he will go when he's ready. :)

We made a PECS book with every step to "going" from closing the bathroom door, to when to stand and sit, how much tp to use, etc. We also read pottying books and watched Elmo's potty dvd too many times to count. We did a sticker chart with a reward at the end (trip to the zoo, new video game, etc). He would get 1 sticker for sitting, 2 for #1 and 3 for #2.

It wasn't until he figured out that pull-ups were the same as baby diapers that he decided to train. But once he made that connection, it was easy. Of course that little epiphany took a few years, but it was worth it.

Angela - posted on 08/12/2010

This is a toughie but an adventure and all your stored up patience have to be put to use but seeing as everyone else is on board with the GOAL of pottty training him well it shouldn't be so strenuous. First Pray, then as clearly as you can get the point across to him about the "Potty Training Plan", Keep It Simple and keep on commmunicating to him about every little nuance that have to deal with this, if you haven't already, before this is over you will end up knowing when the urge to go is there, if he does a little or a lot, what he thinks about the odor and what it looks similar too. I would use a lot of VISUAL aids, when I am stumped with teaching my son anything I turn to the Computer, so you can show him a few you-tube vids or get from Library whichever is more convenient for you. Also following older friends, say someone who is 5yrs.old boy and already potty trained, I mean they already copy each other in everything else well then why not this too!! My son got a great lesson from this one (that boys do not sit on the potty like Mommy to pee) his older brother just laughed at my endeavors because No- way was he letting A see him do his thing! So I was ecstatic after my little one overnighted and came back with this result and he was almost to enter pre-K. I also enlisted his aide in the clean-up process because I was not well at the time and of course his bro complained tons. As this is a true TEAM effort be sure to jot down the results of your efforts daily . It does read for some fun reading later on....hoping this helps somewhat ....just remember to approach with hope, don't expect overnight success, and be of willing heart and mind to go through the process because ....little eyes and minds picks up every NUANCES.

Noelle - posted on 08/11/2010

I used a book called "toilet training individuals with Autism and related disorders" by maria wheeler M.Ed
it helped a ton.