No body has diagnosed my son Case, is it development delays?

Reemkhabazeh - posted on 08/15/2016 ( 10 moms have responded )

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Dear Parents

Iam suffering from being able to know what is wrong with my kids knowing that Children Development Medical Studies are too limited in my Country. My DS starts to show language delay and tics including verbal one before 8 months ago despite the fact he is self independent since he was two years old. He is now 4years old and can speak some clear statements but still struggling for combing words and using pronouns. i took him to neurological doctor and doesn't find me any answers all doctors confirmed he doesn't have autism as he is very social and emotionally lovable! on the other hand he has a selective response and verbal stimming. Does anyone experience this before and what should i do to help him to develop normally?

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JoAnne - posted on 08/18/2016

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That's fantastic that you were able to link some of the behaviors with dairy products. Sometimes figuring out issues with young children is a process of identifying lots of small things and working with each one. If you continue to limit dairy you may continue to see improvement in that area. Like Normie said, these things can take a lot of time.

I also think Normie had a good point about 'labeling' which is a hot topic in the US. People are concerned about putting a label on their children like autistic or ADHD but for the purposes of addressing things that are a problem for a child it is important to identify the problem. It's not possible to identify a problem without naming it. My answer to the whole 'labeling' debate is to name the problem independently of the child. We all have different components to our personalities. I have a friend who's child has autism but that is only one part of his personality. He is also funny and caring and loves animals.

Since the speech therapist does not use the language your son is comfortable with, that might not be the right therapist for him. If you can find a therapist that does speak that language, you may want to switch. Speech therapists should be able to help with language development on a conceptual level as well as pronunciation. Be sure to tell the therapist what you have noticed about your son's preference for verbs and problems with pronouns.

If a different speech therapist is not an option, you can just continue to work with him on your own. Since his teachers have not noticed anything it is possible his developmental rate is just different from that of other children. I thought my daughter would never learn to read. The other children in her class were reading well before she could read at all. But once she was ready she just started reading and now she reads very, very well.

I wish I had more specific strategies to share with you, but so much depends on your son and his personality. Definitely be patient with his progress and consistent in practicing. Some things he may pickup immediately and some things may take longer. Don't be discouraged, it is a process. Two things I find particularly useful when working with young children is positive reinforcement directed at the specific behavior and the opportunity to practice. So if he speaks a sentence using a pronoun correctly you can say something like, "Good job! You used 'he' to refer to daddy." Or if you are correcting you can say something like, "Good try, but daddy is 'he' not 'run'. Do you want to try again?" This article http://bit.ly/2b25ROW may be helpful to you, but don't be alarmed if your son doesn't fit exactly in the age categories. Age is a guideline not a rule.

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Sarah - posted on 08/20/2016

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I think you have gotten some really good advice and I do want to try to help reassure you that even at 4, to struggle with one language is not unusual for some kid. Especially proper verb tense and pronouns. That your child is learning two very complex languages at the same time could very well be the root of his delay. Does he demonstrate frustration with his speech? If he seems to be closing the gap slowly with the help you are able to provide, then I would suspect that he will resolve the language delay without needing long term therapy.

JoAnne - posted on 08/20/2016

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I have been very lucky to have help from other moms as I have raised my daughter and I am always so happy if I can help someone else. You are a wonderful mother and so attentive to Sam's needs. He is blessed to have you. It is obvious you have worked very hard to provide him with every opportunity and I am confident with your help he will do well. Thank you for your warm wishes and God bless you and Sam, as well.

Reemkhabazeh - posted on 08/18/2016

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Dear Normie

Thank you for your reply and i am happy to know that your kids have developed their speech skills. In fact i am not trying to labeling my kids as i know by doing so it hurts me million times in the first stance more than the audience but i am going on a long journey that targets associate his atypical behavior so i can find solutions that would comfort him as soon as possible. I am personally not bothered having an unique child whose logic is a bit different than peers. I bet you you have no idea about the third world where i live they have no clue of how to deal withchilds who need to receive special education. So i am exerting so much efforts to support my child. The good part is that i knew from you that these efforts by time is worthy. Thanks again

Reemkhabazeh - posted on 08/18/2016

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Hi dear Anne Thank you so much for your reply that would perhaps consume so of your busy time. In fact i am not interested in labeling my child but i believe if i can associate some of his development delays to specific medical reference i would have gotten the help i need long time ago. my darling son Sam is my first experience in the motherhood world and i have no family support to identify whither or not he is growing normally. I try to exert all my efforts to bridging the gaps between him and his peers so that he will not need special schools. In fact in our country there is no schools for children who have development delays other than autism so no chance for him to get the needed help but from me. I will keep working on developing his speech until i find English Therapist in Abu Dhabi where i live, hopefully he will continue to develop independently. Thanks for all your nice thoughts and ideas. God bless you and your darling girl.

Normie - posted on 08/17/2016

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You don't have to label your son ! I believe he may need speech therapy . Book for an assessment and they will recommend once a week with a speech therapist and your son. I have 2 boys who have done sppeech therapy for 5mth . There language understanding ,sentences has improved. Slow process but he will get there.

Reemkhabazeh - posted on 08/17/2016

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Your Ideas really smart thanks Anne. Yes my child went to nursery and no body seems to notice anything as he response very well to the teacher. I have started to cut Diary Product and it works with him as he is no longer has any tics apart from some sounds he speak it when he is bored or frustrated. I speak with him only language and he loves to hear it and interact although i still feel he still cant figure out the use of pronouns and he is oriented mostly to the use of verbs and not nouns instead as a typical development disorder child. What makes it harder for me is that the speech therapist available in my country mostly speaks Arabic and he doesn't like to learn this language in particular......I would appreciate if you share with me techniques of teaching child expressive language in particular. Thanks for all your replies they are really helpful.

JoAnne - posted on 08/17/2016

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You are so welcome.
Does your son go to school or daycare? If so the teachers/caregivers may have some ideas. I also have a couple other ideas. First, since his language development is delayed he may be getting the two languages confused into one. I am not bilingual so I don't have experience in this area but it makes sense that he would think you only speak one language and as he listens to you he might be trying to combine the Arabic and English. Second, it may be possible he has some food allergies. If you don't feed him dairy products and other foods that cause the behaviors for a month or so you may notice some changes in his development. I have heard of incidences where food allergies caused some unusual problems for young children.

Reemkhabazeh - posted on 08/17/2016

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Dear Anne
Thank you so much for your reply that comes from a tender heart like yours. In fact my child has no hearing or sight impairment. The doctors have not given me any answer because the symptoms are not clear and the sought medical support in my country is so limited.....my darling son not only sociable but love hugs and kisses.....he never experienced meltdown and can adjust routine easily if you took his toys and put for him TV instead to watch he will be fine as long as he enjoy watching his cartoons....He is not aggressive and love to explore other kids toys and play with them......What concerns me a lot is that after eating specific food he start to jump and have some vocal stimming esp. Milk and dairy products.......His language is delayed but doctors said maybe as we use two different languages the Arabic and English and he feel so unhappy with the use of Arabic language..... No body has give me any diagnose and speech therapy does not help him at all.....He love to learn while playing and not to set on Alpha and pictures......And I am lost as i am not sure if he is normal facing some problems or has sth that i can not figure it out.........Thanks so much again for your reply.

JoAnne - posted on 08/16/2016

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I know it’s very disturbing when you suspect something is amiss with your child and no one seems to be able to help. I’m a mom who has worked with preschool aged children and I hope I can offer you some constructive advice. Children pass through the physical and cognitive developmental stages at different times so it is possible his timing is just different than others.

You said your son is too social to be autistic but did any of the doctors mention pervasive development disorder? Children with PDD are social but experience problems communicating.

Since the neurologist did not find anything wrong, have you had your son’s hearing and vision tested? Impairment in either could affect language development. And have you talked to your pediatrician about your concerns?

Blessings

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