Poop-potty training 8 yr old boy w/ autism

Jolene - posted on 02/09/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I have an 8 yr old son w/ autism. He's pee-potty trained just fine. Has just started going pee at school this yr. Last yr he would hold it til he got home. Absolutely will not poop-potty train. He poops in his underwear and then we put it in the toilet and clean him w/ wipes and wash out the underwear. He pooped in the potty twice when he was first potty training . . . just a couple of years ago. Never has since and any talk of it or trying to get him to when we know he's pooping leads to a major meltdown. Let me also mention, I have a big boy . . . he's 4'8" and 130 lbs. Any advice?? I welcome any advice at all. I have a 40 yr old brother-in-law w/ severe autism and he trained just like any other kid so no help from the grandmother. I don't know what to do. Thanks.

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Toni - posted on 11/10/2011

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Hi we finally had Shane fully trained by 5. He is severely Autistic, he would get scared of the noise of the toilets...We used PECS and
I had him go into the bathroom every time dad and his brothers needed to go...Crazy I know but he got it, he realized it wa normal and not scarey

Fran - posted on 09/21/2011

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My son, 10 now, was poop-trained right before he turned 6 years old. I had alot of help from his teacher as well. I really focused during Christmas break, while he was home for 2 weeks. I went to the craft store and bought a card board sheet, put his name on top, and if read "Zachary's Poopie on the Potty Chart". I drew a grid with a bunch of squares I put the date and we put a circle happy face in the square each time he sat down and "tried". If nothing came out, at least he tried. If we were lucky, he got a star and 3 M&M's candies. For his age, that worked. We did this for a few months. He had a few accidents, however, it did work. That's my story, good luck!!

Lucia Santos - posted on 08/18/2011

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I have a 6 1/2 yr old grandson that i am raising. he is not potty per say. when he is wet he takes my hand and directs me to the bathroom. he removes all his clothes and sits on the potty. then he puts on a clean pull up. this is a milestone in his life. he is wet but he knows that he needs to sit on the potty. your story gives me hope that eventually he will be potty trained. my little guy has no language but he does make it known of his needs. i know i did not give any advice but like i said you give me hope that my little guy will meet this milestone in the future. thank you

Bevely - posted on 08/17/2011

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On vacation this summer my 8 year old, who is semi-poop potty trained, kept going in his clothes. Then he would deny it, I had to catch him and check him and sure enough he was dirty. My mom started giving him $1 every time he pooped on the potty. We were out $5 the first day. Every time he saw a bathroom, he would stop to go try. Hopefully he will continue and not poop on himself anymore. Now I just have to get him to wipe properly.

Jolene - posted on 08/17/2011

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We are catholic and rejoined the church. He loves it and doesn't stem or anything at church . . . it all just stops. In May, we had to leave before mass started b/c he had an accident. He was so upset that he missed mass that he has been totally trained since that day, no accidents. God moves in mysterious ways!! :)

Tammy - posted on 08/16/2011

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I have an 8 year old boy who has trouble knowing when he goes we took him to the sensory gym and after a few months of intansive therapy he was going on his own we were so happy for him and then we stopped for personal family loss and he regressed so we have taken him back to the sensory gym again

Carmen - posted on 02/12/2010

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Jolene,
I'm right there with ya! I've been scoping out potty training boards and trying EVERY suggestion, behavior modification help etc. (most are geared to the just learning to potty train)...they tend to sit in judgment when they find out hold old our Joshua is. Don't you just HATE that ? lol Like we aren't already struggling with self esteem/mother guilt issues enough as it is.
Joshua's best friend has asperger's too and potty trained in a snap and learned to read by 5. They aren't kidding when they call it a "spectrum" disorder. It amazes me that 2 boys who are so different personality wise and who exhibit different "extreme" traits of Asperger's (Joshua does the compulsive collecting, not understanding/respecting/recognizing personal space, dealing with loud noises and the struggle with figures of speech....oh don't get me started on THAT one! lol) While Alex does the talking really LOUD and showing you things about 1/4 " from your eyes.
I'm amazed that they are as good friends as they are...you'd think that their extremes would clash but it seems to work for them. lol

Jolene - posted on 02/12/2010

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Yay Carmen we're not alone!!! I've felt all the frustration you've felt. I know I have to be patient and give it time. It took me a while to realize that most kids train b/w 2-4 yrs and since my son is behind in yrs, even though it's taken longer, he's kind of on track. Did that make any sense at all? He's literally 8 yrs old but mentally at 5 or 6 so it's understandable that this would take longer. I don't know why he won't poop train. Here's the crazy thing. I have a 40 yr old brother in law(Roy) who is severely autistic . . . much more than my Jack (he was actually institutionalized from like 8-12), and he potty trained w/out a second thought. Jack is actually farther along now at 8 than Roy is at 40. Autism is a crazy 1000 piece puzzle and I feel like I'm missing a couple hundred pieces. Thank you for telling me I'm not alone . . . I really needed to hear that!

Carmen - posted on 02/12/2010

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I would love to hear any feedback you get on this one! I have a 10 year old and this describes him to a "T". Only we make him clean up after himself.
Although I've noticed that he doesn't do it at church anymore and rarely when we are "out" and about...but almost as soon as we walk in the door after church he'll do it. Drives me crazy!
But considering how far he's come and that its taken me 10 years to get him to sit still long enough to learn to read and complete his Math assignments (we home educate him as there is NO autism support in our school system)...I live with the poopy thing...even though I don't get it at all and I've tried EVERYTHING from behavior, to setting a timer for him to go and setting a timer for how long he has to "try" to go potty, to natural laxatives thinking it might be a "stool" consistency thing, to changing his diet, to withholding favorite toys/activities, to rewarding him if he goes for a day, week, month etc. NOTHING has worked.
I thought he'd get it when he realized how much work it was to clean himself, his clothes and the bathroom when he was done but even though he complains about the work...he still does it.
I hate it that you are struggling with the same thing but so glad to hear that I'm not the only one out there....I have 5 other children (all girls)...I've often wonder if it is an autistic thing, a boy thing or if my son is just incredibly lazy and/or gross. lol

Amy - posted on 02/10/2010

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As a behavior therapist for children with autism I am going to recommend a social story that talks positively about going poop in the potty. I am also going to suggest that you withhold his FAVORITE treat/snack and ONLY give them to him when he successfully goes in the toilet. If he is not motivated to do it he is not going to! I also agree that HE should be cleaning up after himself. He is old enough to understand that is his responsibility! Let me know if you need anymore help!

Linda - posted on 02/10/2010

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We had the same problem when our son was younger and training. We made him clean himself up. He put it in toilet, he cleaned himself, he rinsed underwear and then took them downstairs to laundry room. Once he found out it was more work for him he started to go in toilet. Hope this helps.

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