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Puberty & Your Aspie

Cyndie - posted on 01/20/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Does anyone here have or has gone thru the issues of puberty & your Aspie child?
I am the step mother of a 10 yr old boy who was diagnosed with Aspergers last
year. My issues with him is that he lies, a lot, is lazy but can not comprehend
why his privileges get taken away when he has a deal breaker at home or at
school. Deal Breakers are Lying, Threatening Himself or Others, Hitting (any
kind of assault), Cursing, & Not Taking Accountability when done wrong. This was
brought up in one of his ARD's at school when we were trying to set goals for
the year. He was having trouble separating his rewards/punishments between
school & home (basically removing double punishment). So today, he gets home at
3:40 & by 5 pm he had lied to me at least 10 times, trying to get himself out of
trouble when his privileges (TV or toys) were taken away. His stories kept
changing. He wouldn't try to do his homework correctly. He wanted me to do his
work for him. Hoping that if he kept messing it up I would just do it for him -
his grandmother used to do his homework back when he was living with his mother.
(That is a whole different & much longer issue I am having to deal with these
days.) I hate getting after him knowing his condition but I also do not want to
have good expectations out of him because of his disability. HELP!!! I SO NEED
HELP!!! Any advice will do caz I am so close to quiting on him & I don't want
that at all!!!

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2 Comments

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Cyndie - posted on 01/20/2010

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Thanks for the support! IT IS MUCH APPRECIATED! He has other things as well as being on the Spectrum. He also has an anxiety disorder, they say he has ADHD but I think it is really just ADD caz he is NOT hyperactive. He is aggressive to others & himself at times. A LOT of these issues come from being raised from an ignorant & lazy grandmother, his mother doesn't do anything but collect child support & gov't assistance off of them when he & his younger brother (who I believe is on the spectrum too) live at their mother's parents' home. We now have custody of the oldest but the younger brother still lives with his mother but spends most of his time at his grandparents home. My stepson is on Concerta during the day for concentration, an anti depressant called Celexa, Trazodone to get him to sleep at night & Seroquel to calm his anxiety so he can go to sleep. His behavior is much more aggressive when he is even 1 day off his medication. I will try & find the book at the library so I can read up on 1-2-3 Magic. I've never heard of it but I am willing to give anything a try. Thanks again!

MaDonna - posted on 01/20/2010

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Have you tried 1-2-3 Magic? Also are you sure that he only has Asperger's Syndrome? Alot of what is going on with him sounds like the symptoms that can come with other disorders. I have an Asperger's child who is 13 and have never caught him in a lie as Asperger children usually don't lie. I am not sure what else can be going on with him but he sounds like he has alot of anger and does not know how to handle it.1-2-3 Magic will not help in one day, or one week even but if you keep to the techniques it does help when enforced everyday. The school will need to be on board with it as well to make it really help. I hope it will help your son. I know its hard to discipline a child with autism but sometimes it takes that discipline to turn their attitude around. Taking privileges away is a start and will help you and him in the end. he knows why he is being punished but wants to keep you going, After I read 1-2-3 Magic, I found out how to handle those types of situations. Please read this book and also if available look for Autism support for him such as a Theraputic Staff Support (TSS). Their job is to help you and him deal with having a diagnosis on the autism spectrum. I hope I have helped a little bit.

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