So nervous :(

Toni - posted on 04/04/2011 ( 17 moms have responded )

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I don't even know how to begin this.

My 9yr old son has a paediatric appnt on Thursday as our GP thinks he has asperger's. He definitely has behaviourial issues and when we read through the list of asperger's symptoms we can tick about 75% of them. 2 of my cousins have sons with asperger's (different families) and I'm told it is genetic.

I know a lot of you have already gone through this and I'm just writing here for support. I never would have suspected this. I thought maybe ADHD!!!!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

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Hang in there! As others have said here, a diagnosis just gives you a direction to go! You know there's "something different" (different not less!) about your child. A diagnosis just helps to get him what he and you need to support his progress.



My son was diagnosed with PDD-NOS, Sensory Processing Disorder and ADHD at 8 1/2. We had had clues along the way that something was different, but were actually relieved when we found out a name for his issues so we could better find out how to help him. He is a bright, happy little boy (now 10 1/2). Children with Aspergers can be very high achievers. Among some people thought to have Aspergers are Albert Einstein, Bill Gates and Temple Grandin (rent the HBO movie to see her journey. Her mother refused to institutionalise her in the 50's and instead sent her to a special school. She graduated college, got a masters and a PHD. She's also the author of several books.)



One of the good things about Aspies is that they have incredible power to focus on things they are interested in, which can be a good thing if it's directed.



Oh another Aspie is James Durbin, who is currently competing on American Idol. He also has tourette syndrome. It's just so encouraging to know how much children with Aspergers and ASD can accomplish. Your son is still the son you know and love. A diagnosis won't change him. It will just give you the tools you need to help him! Be positive, if you can and hang in there! You're not alone!



Oh, I meant to say, I also have a blog if you're interested: "Life on the Spectrum" (http://jackpatzmom.blogspot.com/). I'm hoping for it to be a place where we can all share our common experiences with our exceptional kids!

Debbie - posted on 04/04/2011

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I have a 11 year old daughter that was diagnosed with Autism at 2. Although the diagnosis sounds horrible the fact that you may have a diagnosis will only help your child. Not that anyone wants any type of development delay diagnosis but having a diagnosis your child can get the help they need. With a diagnosis there are all types of treatments available for your child that without a diagnosis wouldn't have been available. Hopefully everything works out for you.

Sheila - posted on 04/04/2011

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Hi Toni,

I hope you find some answers. Regardless, it sounds like your son is the little square peg in a round hole world. Focus on strengths and be as positive as you can.... If you haven't, look into a social skills program or behavioural counselling.

Good luck,

Sheila

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Kathy - posted on 04/07/2011

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My son's school is the one that did the testing for Autism. His pediatrician told me that they would know more about his social problems. I gave his doctor and papers that the school gave me about the results for the testing and he agreed with them about him having Asperger's Syndrome.

Kathy - posted on 04/07/2011

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My 17yr old son has asperger's syndrome. I didn't find out until he was in the 7th or 8th grade. He also has ADD. There is no one else in my family that has asperger's that I know of but his dad was adopted so I don't know nothing about that side of the family. Asperger's is a high functioning form of Autism. My son can still get a job and live on his own when he's old enough. He just has trouble communicating well with his peers. He communicates well with adults and elementary children but is not sure of himself around his peers.

Annette - posted on 04/06/2011

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It's not easy to get a diagnosis you weren't expecting, but a good diagnosis allows you to get your arms around the situation and move forward. A diagnosis on the Autism spectrum isn't the end of the world. It's the beginning of a different path, one you hadn't planned on exploring, but once you get past that, it's still about moving forward and doing the best you can for your children and helping them through whatever challenges life will bring to them. I wish you the best and, as you can see, there's a world of love and support out here if you need it.

Tracy - posted on 04/06/2011

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Hey, My son has asperger's and is just going to turn thirteen this month. I know it is a very worring time for you at the moment but believe me it gets alot easier!. As my son was being diagnoised I kept bringing up things that would suggest he may not be autistic, for example he has never really been bothered what time he eats dinner and it can be on any kind of plate, but the team who were working with him said that as a family we could have arranged things to suit his need for routine and when I thought about it we did!. As he got older he found many coping tatics to use when he felt upset or worried and this has helped alot. He dosen't have loads of friends but is happy and in many respects just like all other thirteen year olds. I have always involved him with school reviews and always been open and honest. In his last review he took centre stage and clearly explained what support he needed and what he feels he could do for himself, throughout he had all his teachers attention and admiration as he spoke with such emotion and pride in himself. I must admit, in that second ,a part of me thought he will always do alright for himself with that attitude and my heart was bursting with pride. When he was younger there were times I thought we would never get to that stage but we did!!.
He does wonder what he will do when he is older but when he gets down on himself I just remind him that Bill Gates has asperger's and has done alright for himself. I hope you have found some support through this message and if you ever need a chat about things then im always here!

Alice - posted on 04/06/2011

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Hang in there! If it's any comfort, my husband has Asperger's and he has his PhD, a job he loves and a full life.

Joan - posted on 04/06/2011

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My daughter of 11 was diagnosed with Aspergers at about 9. Just remember the diagnosis doesn't change who they are, it just helps you take the right steps towards making things easier for them. Two years down the line, we are in a much better place with her. You are at a difficult point now, but I believe you will look back in the future and just see how far you and your son have come from this point on. I wouldn't change my daughter - I love her quirky, complicated nature with all its strengths and weaknesses.

Mary - posted on 04/05/2011

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You seem like a loving mother who really cares, so my . advice to you is, take a deep breath and let him be who he is. If he has Asp. its ok if not thats good to. It will be ok. I know its scarry and it feels like your stepping on a tight wire where everything could fall down quick, but if you take it one steep at a time you'll make it, and so will your wounderful child. If you don't like the first doctors oppinion then get another. I got three, but I knew the first was right, I just had to prove it to everyone else that it wasn't me, or a quack DR. Good luck, and stay strong. It seems so big and hard to tackle at first but it does get easier. :)

Shannon - posted on 04/05/2011

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BIG HUG SWEETIE!! My son Tyler has Asperger's,OCD and well several other issues:) I can remember always knowing that there was something different about him, just wasn't sure what. He is EXTREMELY smart and is such a sweet boy. The day I actually got his diagnosis, I did cry and cried hard. I felt like it was something that I had done while pg...but it wasn't. Things just happen and it is ok:) My son takes several meds for sleep and other issues but he does really well in school. Have faith, everything will be ok...being on the Autism spectrum isn't life ending, just maybe a little life changing:) Best of luck hon!

Becky - posted on 04/05/2011

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Hi Toni-

I'd like to tell you that it will be easy, but instead I will tell you that once you know for sure, it will get easier. I have a 10 year old with aspergers and 85% of children with aspergers are first diagnosed with ADHD. ADHD is also on the autism spectrum, too.

I have a child with PDDnos (middle of the spectrum) also and I have a blog that may help you glean some bit of help. It is at www.asdperspectives.com. I also have a book coming out called Healing Autism Naturally and offer free nutrition consultations if you want to look at natural approaches to helping. With aspergers, we do look at underlying health issues, but even more so, with calming the nerves, anxiety, sleep issues and other symptoms. I hope this helps a bit. The goal of my blog and book is to help families get help faster. It took us too long.

Blessings-

Becky

Lauren - posted on 04/05/2011

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So true, Ladies! Just know that whatever diagnosis he receives will benefit him in that it will allow him to access more therapy...in the end, that is really all that matters- that he gets the help he needs...it was a process for me to come to this conclusion ...take your time with it and (Big Hugs) Know that you are an awesome and brave mommy!

Katie - posted on 04/05/2011

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I am in the same boat right now with my son. He is only 2 but we are going in for a psych evaluation in a week and i am nervous as well. He has already started therapy at 18 months old so we knew this was coming and somehow I am at peace with whatever happens. He is still the same little boy if he is diagnosed Autistic or not. I feel the same way that Debbie does that it can only get him more help which he needs. It is a scary thing to happen but just know it will be OK. Thats the awesome thing about unconditional love is it doesnt matter what happens we will always love our children. There is also a process to this and the first reaction I think for everyone is shock. Its not easy to be told that something is not right with your child. good luck and be strong!

Toni - posted on 04/05/2011

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Thanks Sheila and Debbie.

He is in a mentoring program through the school which helps a little for his social development I think.

Toni - posted on 04/04/2011

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Thanks Louise. I'm also trying not to jump ahead with the "ok if its not AS then what the hell is wrong with him".

Louise - posted on 04/04/2011

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Try not to second guess. Let the paediatrician tell you what is wrong with your son. You can read symptoms and signs into every thing. Try and wait and stay positive.

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