Social group for Asperger teen

Asperger - posted on 01/07/2011

I'm sending someone your way. I've given your website link to the girl's mom.

Kristina - posted on 07/19/2010

Hi I'm actually in the process of putting up a site for teens with asperger's to socialize. My name is Kristina and I'm 17 my website is http://mymindonascreen.webs.com/

originally it was just gonna be a site for me to vent but I've found there are a lot of teens like me out there who don't really have a place just for us. there's not too much on it yet but feel free to visit and message me on there anytime.

Kathy - posted on 10/03/2009

Hang in there, Angela! We have been dealing with this issue since our 18-year-old daughter was in kindergarten, when her teacher told us that she excelled academically but didn't want to interact with the kids on the playground. It took us until Brit's junior year of high school to actually get a real diagnosis of high-functioning Asperger's. The diagnosis has made all the difference. We found a fabulous counselor locally who specializes in teens with Asperger's, and we reached out to Brit's high school counseling team, asking them to introduce her to an especially kind group of teens. Luckily, this group took Brit under their collective wings... Before that, we had many nights of Brit crying herself to sleep because she felt so alone. Of course, now that Brit has started community college, all of her high school buddies have scattered to the wind as they started their own college adventures. And Brit is currently struggling with the whole idea of never having a boyfriend, despite the fact that all of her friends have dated. There's always a new challenge, it seems. It's so hard for these kids, cuz they don't get the social signals that are critical to connecting with others. It's been a heartbreaking journey, as I'm sure it's been for your family. At the moment, I'm looking into social skills coaches...and, they're not easy to find! I seem to remember hearing about a program out of the University of Southern California that we may explore next summer, even if that means spending any vacation time/money on flying out there and staying a few weeks (we live in Northern Virginia). I'm so glad that I stumbled across this community of women, because it helps alot to know that you're not alone in your struggles... Take care!

Carol - posted on 10/03/2009

I haven't been able to find a website for only teenagers. OASIS has some for all ages and I have looked at these. Some of the comments may not be appropriate and some just might not be interesting to our kids. I sure would love to have one available for my teen.

Lisa - posted on 10/02/2009

My 16 year old daughter has one friend, and what a difference that makes! Sometimes, just one person makes all the difference in the world... It sounds like there is enough interest to put together some sort of forum for our kids. I'm new here. Is this something that we will do on this site somewhere (a Circle of Mom's thing) or do we need something different? I am thinking it makes sense to create a website that would easily let our kids blog public posts at each other, as well as allowing private conversations. Is another solution already underway? Or should I look into what it would take to do this one?

Melissa - posted on 10/01/2009

My son is 15 and just diagnosed with PPD. He gets along with much younger children and older adults. He has had 1 or 2 friends in past but unfortunately they moved. Currently he has no friends.He goes to Life Hurts God Heals once a week. It helps him interact with other teenagers in a safe supervised place.We moved to a smaller school distric last year. Now he is in High School. Teachers seem to care and couple have reached out to him. Unfortunatley still the same bullying goes on. He is currently suspended until Monday for reacting to bullying today.

Elaine - posted on 10/01/2009

Where do you live, and are you talking about physically having these kids meet or only online?, I have a 17 soon to be 18 year old son he is also blind but aspergers is his issue and his not having frineds he says he is very lonely it just breaks my heart I don't know what to do a group for older teens is a wonderful idea, maybe would could help each other to help them.

Carol - posted on 09/30/2009

I have custody of and am raising my 14 year-old grandson, who has Aspergers. He says that he is not lonely; but I worry about his lack of friends. He prefers to stay home and be on the computer, play on his PSP or Xbox, or watch movies. There are times when he asks me to join him; but he has only 1 teenage friend that he talks to or invites over. And he won't go to the friend's house. A couple of times, I arranged birthday parties for him. I have several friends who have children with AS, ADD and/or HD, etc, and/or have been in foster care and adopted when they were older and have reactive attachment disorder or similar issues. Nicolas okayed the guest list, but I did the inviting and everything else. I invited these children to come to my home and things went well. They all seem to be very tolerant of each other's quirks. However, Nicolas won't go to or stay at their parties. For a while he was going to a local Magic gathering about once a week. Most of the other players were older and had been playing much longer; but they seemed to take him under their wings and be very tolerant of Nicolas and his AS behaviors. However, his lack of experience led to him becoming discouraged and he hasn't been in months. He has rejected all attempts to get or keep him involved in any other kind of group - Boy Scouts, YMCA activities, church, etc. The older he gets the more resistant he has become. Nicolas is also extremely noise sensitive; hence situations like public gatherings, sports events, etc. are difficult. It has helped to enter after everyone else is seated, the program has started and things are more quiet. It has also helped to sit on the edge, where it is less crowded and easier to leave if necessary. And sometimes he just doesn't want to go at all. This year he is enrolled in a school especially for children who are on the autistic spectrum and, thanks to their program, is beginning to make friends - I think. At least, he talks about having a regular group that he sits with at lunch. This school recognizes the need for and encourages socialization in this and many other ways. I think that this is part of the reason that he seems to actually enjoying school this year - unlike other years. Nicolas gave one of his lunch buddies our phone number; but the friend hasn't called yet - probably because the friend also has Asperger's or some other form autism. However, the school's PTO has a message board for parents and I just today posted my phone number and a request for parents to ask Nicolas' classmates to call. I am sure that there are others who are just as concerned about their kids' lack of friends. I also have found that Nicolas is getting much more selective about the foods that he eats and the clothes that he wears - more so than a neurotypical teenager - because of his issues with textures. He has also become much less sociable in several ways - sometimes not responding when other people say hello, wanting to stay in the house more, etc. I am a retired social worker and thought that my background would help me. Nicolas' mother is my daughter. She has ADD/HD, auditory perception problems, and other challenges that began showing up when she was just an infant. The things that I learned raising her help sometimes, but not always. I find that there are constantly new challenges and usually no easy answers. It seems to be a matter of trial and error as to what helps. But I can see progress. It is tiny, slow steps forward. And sometimes, I have to sit down and actually make a list of the accomplishments. The list is primarily to help me, but it is good to share with Nicolas to help boost his self-esteem. I hope my experience can help some of you. And I hope you will share more of your experiences with me. I have found few actual support groups in my area; so I really need to hear from all of you.

Sandra - posted on 09/30/2009

Hello, I have a 16 y.o. daughter w/Aspergers. She does have a few friends but she has always had a hard time making friends and is shy and lacks the social skills and the know how although she is and has been involved in cheerleading and this has helped her come out of her shell a lot. The one thing my daughter always wanted was a good friend to hang out with. If you would like to chat, I'm here, I am in the Buffalo area.

Sandy

JoLynn - posted on 09/27/2009

yes, I just wrote a message out there about my daughter. I wish I had some encouraging words to give you, but I also am at a loss. It breaks my heart to see her go through, which is suppose to be the best years of her life with out any friends. Don't get me wrong she has some friends, but not what you would call good friends. They only want her around at their convenience. My daughter too is interested in unusual things, things that most teens don't care about. She has a very big heart and would do anything for anybody, she loves the outdoors and she is always willing to try new things. I don't know what kind of group we could start to help these kids out, but if anyone has any ideas count me in to help out.

Heather - posted on 09/27/2009

My son used to connect only with younger children or kids with other issues, OCD, ODD Turrets (sp?). Then he got into gaming, yugio, pokemon, D&D. He met other that were his age or older and because they have a similar interest, he can hang out with them. Take a look at what your daughter enjoys doing, what hobbies or interests she has. Then see if there is a local place for her to do those activities and interact with others who share her interests.

Sandy - posted on 09/26/2009

Hi,

Im in Sacramento and have a 23 yr old son with similar loneliness. I have been toying with the idea of some sort of website or blog for other 18 + AS kids to talk and maybe make friends. Online is an excellent non-personal way for our kids to interact and maybe find enough local friends to form a local group. Don't really know how to do it though. The AS characteristic of idiosyncratic interests seems to pose a great way to find others with similar or like interests to talk to.. any ideas?

Judy - posted on 09/23/2009

Hi Angela.

My son is 18 and does get lonely too. It is difficult for him to make friends because he just doesn't have the conversational skills that they do, plus his "weird" interests. I have found throughout the years that if I arrange things for him it works out well. For instance, bowling club, events at youth group, asking him to have a friend over.

Lisa - posted on 09/22/2009

i have a 13 year old that has no friends and no matter how much you want to encourage a friendship they are not interested...i ask my daughter to bring a friend home but she doesnt want to..her friends are at school, and very hard when she does want to go to school,so how can she have friends she has to see them...its hard i have an 18yr old and she is autistic, very much a loner, but on token very heavily involved with girl guides and youth group leader and has a part time time job..

Tanya - posted on 09/17/2009

hi i have a son who is 12 and he is finding school hard. as he gets older he has got so i notice his ways more. my son will have no food touching any thing on his plate. he blinks alot. he will not eat food of a certain colour and eats no veg or dairy things. he rubs his thumb and fingers together. i have notice he even does this in his sleep. he finds making friends hard. i dont know anyone who has a child with asperger so talking to someone who has a child with this would be very helpful

Pamela - posted on 09/16/2009

Hi, My son is also 18 and has Aspergers. He is high functioning. He just started community college where I hope he finds a few friends. He does pretty much everything by himself. And stays in his room on the computer most of the time, always on a site where people write stories. Adults will say he is so kind and polite but kids his own age don't understand him. My heart goes out to both our kids. Anyways, wondering how you would feel if I gave you my sons email address, maybe your daughter and my son (his name is Justin) can talk. :)

Jane - posted on 09/16/2009

I worry about this. My son is 11 but what happens when they are teens? I also await ANY help / advice.

Zelda - posted on 09/15/2009

Yes, my son is 18 and in his first year of college. Most of his friends are online. He still does not drive, and has no desire to. The only good thing about his not being social in high school, was that I did not have to worry about him on the weekends. Now in college, he seems to be making a few friends. At least, he tells me it seems easier with college kids. Does she have any interests, like games? With my son, he loved playing 'Magic, the gathering', so I got him into a club where they played together once a month. It was a start, and he did make a couple friends that way. One of them was Autistic too, so that helped.