Sports and High functioning Autism, my son plays soccer, baseball, and basketball, he is not the best player but he is not the worst player in the Team either

Maria - posted on 02/05/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Sports and High functioning Autism, my son plays soccer, baseball, and basketball, he is not the best player but he is not the worst player in the Team either, all sports he plays he is not always on the field, most of the time he is in the bench except for baseball, he seems happy to be part of the teams, but as years past by, I noticed that sports league are getting more competitive, and this year in Soccer the coach have him sitting on the beach 95 % of the game, my husband is very upset with the League, because they are not following the rules of giving each child a certain amount of time in the field not matter how they perform. I would tell you, my son is not the best player but there are others that are even afraid of the ball, or don’t have the strength to kick it, but all the moms are friends with the coach and they make sure that their child have a good time playing inside the field. I feel is a combination of things of many things or both are happening to my son, my son being one of the team players who are not the best, and also not being part of the team moms that are friends with the coach. I feel terrible, I told my husband to take him out of those sports to make this year his last year, because as the kids grow the coaches don’t play for fun they want the best player, and they want to win at all cost. My son seeing to have a good time, but he is starting to notice my husband frustration, of coaches having him seat for so long in the bench, my husband doesn’t want to give up on sport he is like a little child, and he is hurt as I am that our son is not getting equal treatment. Please advice. My husband talk to the city coordinator about it and the couches, but they have not given him any good answers, coach is there to win with the best players, and with some others that are not good, but have them in positions that they don’t have to do much. Coordinator said he’ll check the book rules. I feel terrible for my son future in sports, and my husband not wanting to give up not matter what happens. Please help!!

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CB - posted on 02/07/2013

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@Maria....very similar story with my autistic Son. The city league has a 1 complete quarter rule and hus coach this season have done a better job but recently I couldn't ignore the MIN pkaying time and brought it his attention....City league enforces the rules and I can't complain considering the addtional coaching it requires whe. myvSon plays..we collectively maximize his strengths (long range shooting) and try to hide his weaknesses (too many to list). My only suggestion would be ask the questions to coaches of league and if they are not being applied correctly then politely advise the coach that you plan to bring league rules up at the next level.
Now a question for anyone....my autistic Son had 5 games left in this season...seeing hhe will be turning 16....this is his final year in organized and I want him to go out with a bang or surprise maybe during his last game. I would like to do something (even include his coach into it) but not sure what I should do any suggestions

Maria - posted on 02/07/2012

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Thank you michelle,for answering my questions, it’s very hard to keep your kids in this type of sports, with others typical kids, is a good sign that you guys are still playing sports, what are your kids age?

Michelle - posted on 02/07/2012

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If you are in a league that has rules on play time for each kid then push it. That is what fun leagues are for. Look around, are other teams doing the same or does your team just have a particularly competitive coach? If the latter, ask to be placed on a different team next season that has a better idea of fair play.

You might also see if there are other leagues in the area. In our area there are pay leagues that start out fun but quickly get competitive, then there are park district leagues which remain "y'all come" environments. So even though they're more of a pain we try those.

Good luck - it is so hard, we have to constantly fight for their inclusion it seems even when we shouldn't need to.