Suggestions on dealing with agressive behaviour in children with Autism.

Anna - posted on 09/13/2012

Restraint & seclusion is commonly used in the public school system. I would look into the possibility that this is happening to your child. Just because a child is on the autism spectrum doesnt mean they have to be aggressive. Schools do not frequently share what they are doing to your child at school. Show up unexpectantly, often and unannounced. Go to http://familiesagainstrestraintandseclus... .

Becky - posted on 06/08/2011

Hi Heather- My daughter was able to get off medications with this. She does take other supplements, also, but this is what we added that made the big change. We are now giving her 1 two times a day. Please feel free to visit me at our website www.asdpersepectives.com if you have more questions. The Shaklee link in the post is mine and if the product does not work for your child, we can try something else or refund the product. www.safecleaning.myshaklee.com

Heather - posted on 06/08/2011

My 10 y/o daughter started going through something similar several months ago. She doesn't have autism, she has ADHD, ODD and possibly a mood disorder. She is also triggered by not getting her own way or having to do a chore (like clear her plate from the table or make her bed) or homework. Her temper tantrums became so bad that we called the police to our house and had her taken by ambulance to the ER. After two weeks of her being in and out of the ER, we finally relented and had her admitted to a psych facility. She was threatening to kill me and had become completely out of control. All of the doctors we saw told us that we MUST take threats seriously. The doctors also told us to have her admitted, because she was going to escalate. It took us a while to wrap our heads around this and we didn't take their advice at first. But, having her hospitalized was the best thing we did. It provided doctors and councelors for her and a much needed break for us. I'd recommend calling doctors/friends in your area to find out which pediatric facilities they recommend. I'd start now before she turns 13, as she may then be placed with the 'teenagers' (here the kids are grouped by age 7 - 12 and 13 - 16). I'm sure this is NOT the advice you want to hear. My husband and I about had a breakdown choosing to take this step, but for the safety of your children I strongly recomend talking to a psychologist or psychiatrist, asap.

Also, one of the things we learned at the hospital is 'anger is energy' so get her phusically active. Also, give her lots of choices, "do you want to jump on the trampoline or ride your bike', when you notice she's starting to get irritated. Most importantly, make sure that all knives, guns, weapons are locked (or even better removed from your home). We actually put a keyed lock on our attic door so my daughter couldn't get up there. We also removed anything sharp, pointy or dangerous from her room and common areas. Check also with a doctor on how to safely restrain your daughter. My 10 year old is very tall and strong and it takes both my husband and me to restrain her. But, your daughter may benefit from being rolled in a blanket. Finally, have you look into biofeedback things for her... you can buy weighted blankets online and their are lots of things geared toward providing for autistic kid's sensory needs on the internet. May the grace and peace of Our Lord go with you.

Maggie - posted on 04/07/2011

Wow you are in a difficult situation. My son just turned 21 and we had many meltdowns in the early years just a couple in middle school and once in high school. Just know that every child is differnt and what worked for us won't necessarily work for you. I often read Max Lucado's "just in case you ever wonder" more for me than for him, but it says "I will alway love you, I'll always be on your side no matter what" There were certainly days that I needed to say these words to remind myself that I will love this kid no matter what!! You say that there are no triggers, but if you watch her body language, there are probably indicators. My son's pupils would dialate large enough that you couldn't see his iris and he would make fists and raise his shoulders. At that point he would be pinned to the wall until he calmed down - truly took every ounce of energy I had - but I had to win. As a parent you always must win in these situations. Remeber that in this moment, you child is acting from the basest part of the brain, there is no logic - only survival in this moment. Later, once calmed conversations went like this: me, "What did you do" him, "I hit my brother", Me, "Why did you hit your brother?", Him, "Because he..." at this point I would interrupt him and say that I didn't ask what his brother did, i was only interested in what He did. I always emphasized that he was responsible for his behavior, asperger's or no aspergers. By the time he was 12 we even discussed how it is illegal to hit someone and that if he did, he could go to jail. Then you need to help her find acceptable ways to work out her anger - get a trampoline and have her jump until she's exhausted. Your daughter's behavior is extreme and you will need to be extreme to let her know that you are in control when she is not. (Even if you feel that that is a BIG FAT LIE!) You said she has threatened her sister with a knife. Get a lock for your cabinets, you have to protect the sister. Also you will need to think about counseling for the sister who either gets caught up in the violence, or is ignored while you are having to deal with it. (Trust me, this is a whole family issue and the siblings suffer greatly). One last thing, you say she isn't in school - you need to get her into a school for 2 reasons, first is that she needs to learn to function in the world with all is rules and troubles. The other reason is that her being at home 24/7 will destroy your family - she already gets a disproportionate amount of time and energy. You and your family are in my prayers, you are not alone. .

Kathy - posted on 04/07/2011

My 17 year old son has Aspergers, in the past he has had these outbursts of anger mostly at school, when he get frustrated about some school work. When he had outbursts in class he got sent to another room to calm down. He now has a therapist at school that helps him with the social difficulities that he has with Aspergers syndrome. The outbursts of anger have dwindled down sufficiently. Your daughter needs a routine that rarely changes. I have noticed that with my son, if he is made to do something that not in his routine he get mad, however, I have not had to deal with him threatened his other siblings with weapons, thank God. I know when my son doesn't get his way he get really mad but thankfully I have never I to deal with what you are going through. My suggestion is for you to explain to her that this particular behavior is not exceptable and there would be discipline for acting in this manner. Whenever my son doesn't want to do something like showering or his chores, he get either computer time taken away or his Wii time taken away. I will pray for you and your daughter.

Angie - posted on 04/07/2011

I have a 16 year old son with Aspergers. I remember him having melt-downs as early as 18 months of age. There were many ups and downs for the first 15 years...some very tough times. He would do anything he could think of to get sent home from school. Unfortunately, he was very successful with this and when he wasn't, he upped the behavior some more. When he was 15 and started high school, things went from bad to worse. I agree with the person above who mentioned hormones as a possible portion of the struggle. These will affect our children just like others. However, I think there could be more going on as well. For my son, there were a couple of things that really helped. We found a new doctor who is wonderful. At one point, my son went into a psychiatric hospital for rapid adjustment of his medications. He has since been diagnosed as bipolar along with the Aspergers. It took a little while, but we have found the right combination of meds that help him. Of course, this is different for every child. Another major change we made was in his school. He had been in inclusion classes and then gone to self-contained without success. Our last public school option (private school wasn't an option for us) was our county's alternative school. It is where kids go who have significant behavior problems and many have been expelled from other schools. Some are even in trouble with the law. I never, ever wanted him to go to this school, but I was desperate at this point! This school has a very small student to teacher ratio. It is extremely structured and they DO NOT send students home. The first year was rough for him. But it has now been about a year and a half and I cannot adequately explain the changes we have seen. He fusses at me if he has to miss school because "school is important". He has gone totally through the level system for behavior and is beginning to mainstream for one class. He just could not handle the stimulation and stress of regular school. This was the best decision we have ever made. He is like a totally different child and is really growing and learning. Before he went there, we were looking at the possibility that he would need residential treatment for a time and would never live on his own. Now...anything is possible! Many of the suggestions above are great ideas and the Out of Sync child is a wonderful book and would help too. I think if you find the right combination of chemical balance (medications or supplements) and a good school setting with faculty and staff who really know how to deal with special kids, your daughter can be successful too!

Thea - posted on 04/06/2011

If you don not want to consider medication, there is a great book that discuss these aspects of behaviour that can be related to hypo and hyper forms of output. It is called the "Out of Sync Child" and talks about types of occupational therapy activities that you can do at home (eg. jumping on the tramopline when behaviour begins to escalate). The link to purchase is here. http://www.amazon.com/The-Out-of-Sync-Ch...

It talks about the see-saw of emotional/functional/intellectual output. If the child is hypo they are under-participating in an activity of behaviour, if they are hyper-participating they are escalating to an out of control levels. It provide mechanisms for foreseeing the bahviours and placing easy, managable options to counteract these behaviours (or see-saw them back to an equilibrium). I hope this works for you in some way. The lady who discussed using basketball to calm her child down is a good example of this. :-)

Leticia - posted on 04/06/2011

My son is 11 and is the same way we are working with behavioral specialist at home and in school. My son has tried all sorts of medication and nothing worked for him. I have contacted a DAN doctor and started him on supplements and Homeopathy and I have to say we have seen some improvement both at home and school. He is still having blowouts but we are only seeing 2-3 a day and they are not lasting as long. See what resources are available in your area!! Hang in there and good luck.

Lisa - posted on 04/06/2011

Remember too that she is a pre-tee and those hormones can be crazy. I have a 9 year old daughter with Aspergers and an 11 year old daughter with ADHD - my 11 year old has always been very emotional, but with these hormones it's worse. She's an amazing kid, but does not know what to do with all of this goin on inside her body. Just a thought to share - even though our kids have other issues, they still have all of the same ones that everyone else has too! I know this does not fix the problem, but I wanted to add this as a new perspective. I am right behind you with my 9 year old Aspie girl. For her (my Aspie) meditation and deep breathing help, but that's a journey, they can't control themselves right away. Good luck!

Lana - posted on 04/06/2011

@Jen if she is happy not to be at school maybe she sees it as a victory. When my stepson was suspended we organised school work for him to do at home this meant he couldn't see it as a victory and he didn't fall behind in his school work. Also talk to her and see why it is she doesn't want to be at school. maybe it is to stimulating/stressful for to deal with and she is wanting a less stimulating environment and doesn't know how to ask.

Jen - posted on 04/05/2011

Thanks peeps...will look into these suggestions. Unfortunately she has now been suspended from school for pushing a younger child down a flight of concrete steps. She's very happy though, because now she doesn't have to go to school. We seem to be in a no win situation. It's good to know I'm not the only one coping with this issue. I guess we all need to keep our spirits up and pray!!

Sharon - posted on 04/05/2011

@Becky does your child take any medications with the stress relief complex? I am going to try this. Thanks

Becky - posted on 04/05/2011

My 9 year old does the same thing. She became so violent at one point that we worried she would hurt herself and her sister- unintentionally. Honestly, she could lose it for hours. After working with an autism doctor and getting it approved, we put her on a product called stress relief complex. It is a natural supplement that works for alot of people with anxiety, stress, etc. It works fast and we have never had to relook at medication again. I don't mean that she never has issues but she is not a danger to herself or anyone else. it's easier to "ignore" when they are little but when they are bigger and stronger.... like your 12 year old. I am a nutrition consultant and you can find the product at http://safecleaning.myshaklee.com/us/en/... She takes other supplements, too for digestive and immune and such, but this one works like you would not believe. You're not alone.

Dawn - posted on 04/05/2011

Jen,

I wish I knew the answer to your question. I am dealing w/ and have been dealing w/ the aggression w/ my 10yr old son for almost his entire life. He has been in and out of outpatient therapy three times and nothing seems to work. We have in home therapists now and I don't see that working either. I'm thinking the anger management may be the best route...something I'm going to look in to. Good luck to you!!

Jocabed - posted on 04/05/2011

hi i go through the same with my son but i know that taking him to the park playing basketball helps i think that kids with autism need to get into sports or we need to play with them . Its very hard i feel your sadness we want our kids to be good to succssed they will but it will take a little harder work from them and ourselfs.keep the faith

Emma - posted on 04/05/2011

Hi Jen,

My 8 year old son has Aspergers and goes through similar emotions, it is his way of coping with his feelings. After many years of going through violent outburst I managed to get into CambH who gave him 1 to 1 anger management, Unfortunately when he got diagnosed they stopped as it was out of their domain, however I can honestly say it has helped him. Not fully and we still have these outburst but instead of 2 to 3 hours for him to calm down he now manages 30mins average. It is scary especially as they are unexpected and can come from nowhere and I sympathise deeply.

It is hard to watch our children go through this.

I have also learnt that when he does go into a violent rage that I just stand back and make sure my youngest is out the way as there is no way to stop him.

Hope you get help x

Katherine - posted on 04/04/2011

How about contacting a behavioral therapist? That way they can evaluate her and figure out a program best suited for her.