The teacher assistant called my daughter rude and yelled at her

Vanessa - posted on 09/14/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My daughter Lily is 5 years old about to turn 6 in two weeks. She just started Kindergarten on Sept 7. Last week she told me the teacher assistant is bad and doesn't like her. She also said that the T.A. said "the bad word from Charlie Brown". Which knowing of course what my daughter is talking about, she said the word stupid. I was so suprised that she was saying this. SHe has been in this school for 2 years of prek already and never said anything about a teacher being bad. I told my daughters teacher, but when the teacher later if she had talked to her assistant, she said well she said she doesn't know where that came from and she "called out" Lily and told her not to say something she didnt say. I know my daughter. She says what she sees and hears. She does not make up stories. She memorizes dialogue so I know if she says she heard that from her, SHE HEARD IT. Well, i left it alone. But today Lily said that the T.A. is bad and that she yelled at her and told her that she was going to talk to her mom because she is rude. I had a meltdown. She is a 5 year old little girl with ASD! She does not know she is being rude and she doesnt mean to be. I know she can come off that way but I know its because of the ASD. This is why she is in Special Education! She is learning how to behave! I am so angry and when I get angry i just cry. This is what I have always feared for her. It seems this T.A. is like annoyed with her. WHy is she working with children with special needs. I feel so uncomfortable sending her to school. What should I do?

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Dianne - posted on 09/15/2010

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I have a son your daughters age with Asperger's and I am going through the same thing with his K teacher. The school system has stalled the process in getting him an aide, so the teacher is overwhelmed and uneducated. She is new, of course. I tried to speak to the principal but was told I was over reacting. I talked to his case manager and she said that she would look into it but nothing haas happened yet. The worst this is I am a behavior tech that works in another school in a K with a child with ASD. The teacher I work with is great. But my son's teacher is awful. She makes my son stand in time out, send him to the office and tells him naughty boys build guns. She also told me that he is going to grow up to be a serial killer because of his fascination with gorey Halloween stuff. I cry every day and so does my son when we leave the school. I feel you pain. I wish there was more understanding in the school systems for our kids. If your daughter has a case manager or IEP I would call for a team meeting or do surprise visits to your daughters class room. Some time you can "lurk outside the door and listen to hear how the TA talks to your daughter. Chance are that your daughter isn't the only one the TA talks to like that! Know I am thinking of you and may be together we can find a solution for our kids?

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