Transition issues with a new baby?!

Stephanie - posted on 02/27/2009

One way we made the transition easy for my son is to get him involved. Have him help you with the diaper changes and the feedings. It will place a bond there. My son had an easier time with it and actually enjoyed helping because it made him feel apart of something.

Sarah - posted on 02/25/2009

That 2nd line should read He had all the hatred towards the baby, woops!

Angie - posted on 02/25/2009

(((HUGS))) Wish there was an easy answer ..other than dont give up and do the best you can ...I know when I was preparing my family for a new baby I made a huge mistake to tell them the baby wouldnt take up much of my time ...which was WRONG!!! Maybe if you can get your son to help you while you are caring for his sister and reinforce how much you need him ..it might help. Also know you didnt do anything wrong so continue to do your best !!! Remember the first year is always the hardest for all involved!!! Hang in there :)

Sarah - posted on 02/25/2009

I had exactly the same problems when my baby was born when my son was 6 and a half, the things they say are heart breaking, i had all the hatred towards the baby and wishing it would die, but you must understand that they do not realize the content of their words they are just venting their anger or insecurities as this baby is taking up all of your time and leaving none for them (as they see it), also routine is a vital key part in their everyday lives and this baby has upset that, so the baby gets the blame, their life as they knew it does not involve a baby so thus routine messed up, and it may take a while to settle him down, my son is now 13 and little one 7 and my eldest still resents him, but the little one knows his brother how he is so knows no different, and as for the older one, i did used to worry about leaving them together in the same room when they were younger, and i did used to catch 13 being spiteful to 7 too, still now, but that is where firm boundaries are set, sit him down, tell him some scenarios and the consequence of what will happen if these situations happen, so he is aware, as they have not got a very good imagination of consequence of their actions, go and buy him a favourite sweet/fruit and give it to him after school everyday for a couple of weeks tuck it in the pram and tell him the baby got it for him, try letting him feed the baby so he can bond too, or if your rich,buy him a favourite toy from the baby, but only 1. make time for just you and big baby and let him know he is your big baby, man of the house when dad is at work, let him feel a sense of place and responsibility and need. things will get better in time, dont feel alone when there are people like me in the world to help you, hope this helps you to know your not alone and the behaviour is common in your situation. best wishes.x