Shelly - posted on 03/23/2009 ( 20 moms have responded )
I am sick of F&*#@ing Autism and I am sick of F$@#&*ing Verbal Stimming. I want to cut my ears off. My son's verbal stimming has stolen him from me. Before it started - he had autism but he was very connected to the world and me. Now we have almost no connection because he is having a conversation with himself ALL DAY EVERYDAY. This started 4 months ago and has progressed to the point that the only time that he shuts up and stops making unintelligible noises in when he is sleeping and it takes him 2 hours to fall asleep because of it. I am really starting to loose a desire to even spend time with him because it drives me crazy and I spend the entire time telling him to stop. I have lost my patience several time and yelled at him about it. So now I am contributing to severing our relationship even more because I don't even want to be around him. I was Autism supermom before and now sometimes I don't even feel like I love him - because frankly I don't even know him. He is not the same kid that i had 4 months ago. The Autism is not new. We have know that he has Autism for over a year and half and I was dealing with it OK. It is just this new regression into the verbal stimming that has be reeling. I have tried everything I know how - ignoring it, telling him to stop, punishing him, flicking him in the mouth, we are changing his sensory diet to try to address it I do not know what else to do. Thanks for letting me vent.