What is the best form of discipline for PDD/NOS children?

Sara - posted on 03/22/2012 ( 37 moms have responded )

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My son is 6 and in kindergarten at a public school. For years we didn't know why his language and comprehension was behind his peers, or why he had such a difficult time learning. On top of that, he had some compulsive behaviors on very inconsequential items. In any event, it came to a head this year in kindergarten and through the school he was diagnosed.



Apart from his new classroom where he is really thriving, at home I am still very lost. He is extremely messy, he never picks up his things, he will get obsessed with cutting paper and leave it all around the house. He is highly disorganized and it's driving me crazy. I don't know what I should be doing differently. He doesn't seem to understand follow through. He seems to get overwhelmed very easily doing simple tasks. He even goes as far as to be rude and disrespectful and downright manipulative to not follow any house rules. I feel bad punishing him because I know he has this handicap...but I am truly losing my marbles. I really can't go on like this anymore. I know he needs more discipline but I have no idea what works. Obviously he needs something non traditional because I have tried time outs, talking, yelling, spanking, reasoning, rewards, punishments, rinse and repeat....



What has worked for your PDD/NOS kids????

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Karen - posted on 04/02/2012

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It sounds like he works hard at school and comes home and wants to relax a bit. If he is preoccucpied with cutting paper, set up a time for cutting and let him go at it. maybe spread out a sheet and make that the cutting area and give him all kinds of paper and different scissors, etc and make it fun. Then cleanup is easier and he can move to next thing on his schedule. Taekwando is a noncompetitive sport that uses up lots of energy and makes him leave the house and learn a new thing. Or an outdoor time to play hard somehow, biking, rollerblading, running, etc. He can earn more cutting time doing things without a meltdown. And if he has a meltdown, he needs a safe place to be--kids learning self-control have a process--timing how long he lost it and praising him for a shorter time, talking about other alternatives to drama, talking things out, taking a break before the meltdown helps him to learn to see himself clearer. Protein every couple of hours, good meals, less junkie snacks, good sleep, hydrated--all this helps to keep our kids more on an even keel. And if his hardest times are right after school, or right before dinner or at bedtime, brainstorm together things that help him stay calm, music, soft lighting, a couple of brisk sprints to the stop sign and back...a short video...whatever works for him. ask for help in behavior tracking or behavior support from school perhaps...sometimes it is almost more about learning how to support his learning style for you! No parent can know everything and I applaud your efforts helping now...too many parents just let their special needs kids do whatever they want and it gets really difficult as they get older--so keep it up!

Karen - posted on 04/11/2012

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Holland Schmolland



Holland Schmolland

by Laura Krueger Crawford



If you have a special needs child, which I do, and if you troll the internet for information, which I have done, you will come across a certain inspirational analogy. It goes like this: Imagine that you are planning a trip to Italy. You read all the latest travel books, you consult with friends about what to pack, and you develop an elaborate itinerary for your glorious trip. The day arrives.



You board the plane and settle in with your in-flight magazine, dreaming of trattorias, gondola rides and gelato. However when the plane lands you discover, much to your surprise, you are not in Italy --- you are in Holland. You are greatly dismayed at this abrupt and unexpected change in plans.



You rant and rave to the travel agency, but it does no good. You are stuck. After while, you tire of fighting and begin to look at what Holland has to offer. You notice the beautiful tulips, the kindly people in the wooden shoes, the french fries with mayonnaise, and you think, "this isn't exactly what I planed, but it's not so bad It's just different." Having a child with special needs is suppose to be like this --not any worse than having a typical child -- just different.



When I read this my son was almost three, completely non-verbal and was hitting me over one hundred times a day. While I appreciated the intention of the story, I couldn't help but think, "Are they kidding? We're not in some peaceful country dotted with windmills. We are in a country under siege --dodging bombs, boarding overloaded helicopters, bribing officials -- all the while thinking, "What happened to our beautiful life?" That was five years ago. My son is now 8 and though we have come to accept that he will always have autism, we no longer feel like citizens of a battle torn nation. With the help of countless dedicated therapists and teachers, biological interventions, and an enormously supportive family, my son has become a fun-loving, affectionate boy with many endearing qualities and skills. In the process we've created... well ... our own country, with it's own unique traditions and customs.



It's not a war zone, but it's still not Holland. Let's call it Schmolland. In Schmolland, it's perfectly customary to lick walls, rub cold pieces of metal across your mouth and line up all your toys end to end. You can show affection by giving a "pointy chin." A "pointy chin" is when you act like you are going to hug someone and just when you are really close, you jam your chin into the other person's shoulder. For the person giving the "pointy chin" this feels really good, for the receiver, not so much -- but you get used to it.



For citizens of Schmolland, it is quite normal to repeat lines from videos to express emotion. If you are sad , you can look downcast and say, "Oh, Pongo."



When mad or anxious, you might shout, "Snow can't stop me!" or "Duchess, kittens, come on!" Sometimes, "And now our feature presentation" says it all.



In Schmolland, there's not a lot to do, so our citizens find amusement wherever they can. Bouncing on the couch for hours, methodically pulling feathers out of down pillows, and laughing hysterically in bed at 4:00 am, are all traditional Schmolland pastimes.



The hard part of living in our country is dealing with people from other countries. We try to assimilate ourselves and mimic their customs, but we aren't always successful. It's perfectly understandable that an 8 year old from Stimulant would steal a train from a toddler at the Thomas the Tank Engine Train Table at Barnes and Noble. But this is clearly not understandable or acceptable in other countries, and so we must drag our 8 year old out of the store kicking and screaming, all the customers look on with stark, pitying stares. But we ignore these looks and focus of the exit sign because we are a proud people.



Where we live it is not surprising when an 8-year-old boy reaches for the fleshy part of a woman's upper torso and says, "Do we touch boodoo?" We simply say, "No, we do not touch boodoo," and go on about our business. It's a bit more startling in other countries, however, and can cause all sorts of cross-cutural misunderstandings.



And, though most foreigners can get a drop of water on their pants and still carry on, this is intolerable to certain citizens in Stimulant who insist that the pants must come off no mater where they are, and regardless of whether another pair of pants are present.



Other families who are have special needs children are familiar and comforting to us, yet are still separate entities. Together we make up a federation of countries, kind of like Scandinavia. Like a person from Denmark talking to a person from Norway, (or in our case, someone from Schmenmark talking to someone from Schmorway.), we share enough similarities in our language and customs to understand each other, but conversations inevitably highlight the diversity of our traditions. "My child eats paper. Yesterday he ate a whole video box." "My daughter only eats four foods, all of them white." "We finally had to lock up the VCR because my child was obsessed with the rewind button.", "My son wants to blow on everyone."



There is one thing we all agree on. We are a growing population. 10 years ago, 1 in 10,000 children had autism Today the rate is approximately 1 in 250. Something is dreadfully wrong. Though the causes of the increase are still being hotly debated, a number of parents and professionals believe genetic predisposition has collided with too many environmental insults -- toxins, chemicals, anti-biotics, vaccines -- to create immunological chaos in the nervous system of developing children. One medical journalist speculated these children are the proverbial "canary in the coal mine" here to alert us to the growing dangers in our environment.



While this is certainly not a view shared by all in the autism community, it feels true to me.



I hope that researchers discover the magic bullet we all so desperately crave. And I will never stop investigating new treatments and therapies that might help my son. But more and more my priorities are shifting from what "could be" to "what is." I look around this country my family has created, with all it's unique customs, and if feels like home. For us, any time spent "nation building" is time well spe

Lee - posted on 11/14/2012

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It sounds like your son is having a grand time cutting up paper. How wonderful he has found something that makes him feel good. It is a shame that it makes such a mess though. When my son was little he had 200+ of those little plastic soldiers and everyday he wanted to get them out and play with them. Putting them away was a different story entirely. I purchased plastic bins like another poster talked about and every kind of toy had a separate bin. For the plastic soldiers I bought a cheap plastic tablecloth and I made a great ceremony of putting down the green "grass battlefield" for the soldiers. He loved it and kept the toys on that plastic so pickup was easy, we folded it in half and funneled the soldiers right into their bin. Later it was useful for Legos and other small toys. Perhaps you could the same sort of thing for the paper. Good luck.

Katherine - posted on 03/23/2012

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Well first off, breathe........





Tackle one behavior at a time. And sit on it until it's done! Does he have a therapist? IEP? TA? Anyone to help you with this at all? The school should be providing you with some resources.



Reward charts. Ok one behavior at a time. Every week or 2 weeks. I did ABA for 5 years, is that something you would be interested in? Maybe find an ABA therapist? There are many other options for therapy too. You just need to look into them. See what your insurance covers also. They may cover certain things.



Next, watch what your son does. Is he doing it for attention? Is he in sensory overload? Is he SEEKING sensory attention? If he needs to do something with his hands find something less messy. Maybe one of those stress balls?



Trust me it's not something you're doing or not doing.

Morgan - posted on 05/29/2013

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Pick your battles! Children with autism need direction. They sometimes have a hard time following several asked tasks at once. No need for discipline, its patience that is needed!

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Heather - posted on 11/09/2013

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I know you posted this over a year ago, but I just read it, and I think it's fantastic. It's good to know that we are not the only "nation" out there feeling this way. Thanks!!!

Kiesha - posted on 05/29/2013

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OHHH Sara, I completely understand exactly where you are coming from. My 7 year old has PDD-NOS and he too is obsessed with cutting up paper, ripping up paper, drawings of school buses on paper and paper, paper, paper and more paper is constantly laying all around the house. I have hid paper from him, taken all the paper out of his room and out of other drawers but lets be realistic....I can't just get rid of paper all together, it's not fair to the other people who live in the house. No empty notepad is safe around him.
I do want him to express himself but I am so tired of the little tiny pieces of paper that I continuously find around the house....I can never keep the place clean it seems. His room is DANGER ZONE. I dread going in there because not only is he messy with paper but it's his clothes, food, anything that isn't bolted down can be destroyed or thrown about in his room. I am constantly washing down walls because he is so nasty with any form of food or even with markers/crayons. I cant trust him to take a pudding cup to his room without it being smeared on the mirror or on the TV or on the floor and when asked to clean it up he goes into these fits of first he didn't do it and its not his fault to excuses of it being to hard to do by himself. Im exhausted keeping his space together and I still have the rest of the house to get to...help me if he's gotten to those rooms too. I too have tried all the things you mentioned, talking, rewards, spanking, punishments, reasoning, etc. NOTHING SEEMS TO WORK! He also tears up any toy he gets, he's just messy. I welcome any help anyone has in helping me control the mess.

Morgan - posted on 01/28/2013

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Is it just me or is alot of parents with children on the spectrum unaware of ABA?! This is unfortunate..and should be taught to parents when there is a diagnoses. Our system is so uninformed! I wish at the time of my sons diagnoses i had more direction, instead its like finding a needle in a haystack :s

Misty - posted on 01/21/2013

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*hugs* I hear you on the fits of rage out of a normally sweet kid...mine do that too...we have our eldest in therapy with a child therapist and we talk over how to calm down often...now she goes to her room and lays on her bed with her fav music on and either closes her eyes or reads a book... she does something that relaxes her and when she stops raging, we talk about what was upsetting and why it was...generally it's because her mind is so very full of everything that she can't filter out to find what she needs to focus on... so now we are working on a cue-system to help her tell us when she's upset and needs a moment, for now it's a very polite *Mom, I need 10 min in my room before I do.....* and it works.... it sucks for sure to be on the receiving end of a tantrum, but I have learned that I'm the only one she does it with because I"m the one who makes her feel the safest...odd compliment I know, but I'll take it...lol... it does get better though and now we are down from 5 or 6 meltdowns a day to 3 a month...good luck

Patricia - posted on 01/21/2013

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i'm having the same issue with my 7 year old son. he had a fit of rage over his lego book being missplaced. one like i have never seen coming from him. i need help with the discipline factor bc everything i have tried, like you, doesnt get the point across. his doctor put him on celexa for his anxiety but it seems to have made things worse. sometimes i feel like a crazy person. i dont "personally" know anyone else who has a child with the same "set backs", i think i may even still be in some stage of denial. we r new to the pddnos family but ive talked to docs about there being an issue since he was a toddler. it took me 7 yrs to find a doc who would listen, now we have a diagnosis and confirmation, and im relieved. yet at the same time, i wanna break down. im just feeling very alone right now. i wanna teach my son to be an upstanding and responsible person, but how? sometimes i really dont know if he understands what is being said to him. i just wanna make life as enjoyable for him as possible. and hes the sweetest boy in the world, so, seeing him in such a rage, really scared me for him. i dont know what to do.

Misty - posted on 01/09/2013

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for my 2, we keep it very simple...one step at a time...pick up *specific item* and put it *specific spot* and then praise when it's done. We also don't allow use of things they refuse to pick up afterwards..if my oldest uses scissors and then leaves them where she was cutting, she doesn't get them the next time she wants to cut paper....time outs and other traditional forms of discipline just don't work...turning off the tv, keeping things very quiet and very very (it may seem almost too simple) seem to work the best...for my younger one, we do a please take this item to *whomever it belongs to* for now and at the moment, we're almost to the point where he can now do a 2 step command with little redirection....the praise and quiet with simplicity of instruction is what is helpful to us...and also keep the chore short, even if it's not all done...start with 5 min for awhile and see how much he can manage in that time...then stretch it out...my two are almost 9 and 7, and we are able to do a 20 min tidy session with them now....doing this every day, really helps to keep some of their toys under control and helps them learn some skills along the way...good luck

Sarah - posted on 01/09/2013

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Read the book "The Explosive Child" by Dr. Ross W. Greene. It helped so much with working with my son. It also give tips on dealing with school.

Karen - posted on 11/18/2012

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Yes, Tina, see the behavioral therapist! and see another one if the first one isn't helpful! It takes a team to brings up a child with special needs--a teacher, a emotional guide, a workout person, a nurturer, a peer group of friends...the more help the better! And when explosive behavior develops, often a dr checkup and some calming meds to get through it, if you have explored all the non-medicating therapies--diet, music, excercise....sometimes explosive behavior is related to pain(strep caused really weird stuff for my son), infection, hormones. prayers, too for you and the whole family.

Tina - posted on 11/18/2012

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I feel like im finally have found myself in the position where my 8 year old is out of control PDD ,ADHD,and intermitten explosive disorder..And no matter what i do he thinks hes the boss and i try so hard...I have tried a lot of things and geting ready to go to a behavioral therapist.Any ideas?

Jody - posted on 11/08/2012

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I am a preschool teacher with a newly diagnosed 3ys old so have only a basic knowledge of the condition but a god knowledge of containing mess. Would something like a kitty litter tray(new of course) as his cutting area. You could have one container with assorted paper and scissors and the litter tray. He is allowed to cut for what ever period you feel appropriate you could even have a stopwatch or cooking timer to point out when the time has finished(this means they are ending his pleasant activity not you, you are just following through) the only conditions are that paper is the only thing that can be cut and all the paper must be cut into the litter tray. Much easier to clean up. Again no expert he may need to move and cut to relax so it may have to be modified slightly but I guess its worth a try. Good luck.

PS I don't think your being too strict, loving your child means you are prepared to do what is best for them in the long run, they might not like it but it is to their benefit in the end.

Lori - posted on 11/04/2012

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NO spanking, he'll end up doing it when he's angry. My son is 4 with Pdd-nos. Same issues. He has made tremendous improvements though, with the help of his therapeutic staff and a lot of parental patience. If he's like my son, time outs worked once and don't now and his behaviors change like the wind. You have to change with it. I use the easter bunny or santa.If he doesn't listen I pretend to call them and they will take one toy away for a day. Keep your cool and don't let him see that thigs get you mad. he'll feed off it.

Debora - posted on 05/11/2012

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Each kid on the spectrum is so different that it is hard to come up with a blanket answer that will definitely work for any kid, except that consistency is really important, and that it will likely take longer than you think it should to show results. What I know about working with my son (now 12) is that yelling and spanking don't work well. He just shuts down. Sometimes limiting privileges for repeated offenses can help, if you pick one thing at a time to work on. More than that can be too overwhelming. I have had some success with my son using the principles explained in a book called The Incredible 5-point scale, where it teaches parents and teachers how to teach the desired behaviors. I do know that presenting the need the desired behavior in a positive way (ile, more reward than punishment) will make it easier on everyone concerned. Please be patient with yourself and your son if progress isn't as fast as you'd like. The trust and genuine respect you build now will be more important in his teen years than having a perfectly tidy house is now.

Hang in there!

Michelle - posted on 04/21/2012

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My son is 6 years old and since the age of 3 has seen every type of specialist there is. He was diagnosed with ADHD first. Despite the medication and therapies, we still dealt with all the problems that went along with an impulsive and hyper child. Presently, he is in first grade, and now finally we have found a community service that is getting us help. He is going in for Neuropsychological testing next month, in hopes that we can finally get a diagnosis that will help him at school with whatever his needs are. Right now they are saying possible processing issues, as well as probable DX of PDD-NOS. My son shows inappropriate behavior, swares, and when he gets angry, he threatens his siblings and me, never daddy. He also hurts our dog one minute, and is kissing him the next.He will throw things at us, across the room, etc. And this is only shown at home! Never at school or with sitters, or friends, etc.If he is with only me and we go somewhere and he gets angry he goes into this horrible state of mind. But again if Dad is with us, he is fine. We are at such a loss for how to help him or what to do next. He has been on a few medications, and presently is on Guanfacine and Risperidol. We are looking for more answers and I know it will help hearing from other moms who are suffering with the same thing.

Patty - posted on 04/12/2012

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i have a son with mild autism. listen.......don,t feel guilty about discipline. they are very smart and if they think they can manipulate you, they will do it. when my son acts up, i send him to his room and then we talk about his behaviour. let him know what is expected of him and above all be firm. my son is well behaved because i have taught him and i also let him know that i will not stand for disobedience or disrespect. autistic chilldren are highly intelligent and are no different than any other child. just let him know who runs the show. he,ll soon get the message. and btw, if he starts crying, don,t give in. thats another trick they use. as for his room, make him stay in there until he cleans it up.

Samantha - posted on 04/11/2012

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My son is 7yo and originally diagnosed with sensory processing disorder at 2yo and later diagnosed PDD-NOS at age 5yo (he was also born with craniosynostosis - anyone else out there with this combo??) and he can be very difficult at times... I remember when he was younger how out of control every second of our life was... I could not go to the restroom without bringing him with me let alone trying to take a shower - he would attack my daughter, dog, etc. in seconds... I really agree with the advise of tackling one thing at at time when they are so young... if a neurotypical kid needs 100 reminders/redirection to correct a certain behavior a kid on the spectrum needs 2000 - at least ;)... I would also really support you in taking care of yourself - make sure you are getting time away .. exercise, a hobby, sport whatever on a regular basis - it really does help with the patience... also if you have a husband/partner really hashing out how to handle discipline so you are both consistent and on the same page as how to handle what ever issues are coming up... we are are struggling at times - I need to constantly remind myself not to compare my family to others but instead to only compare us to us - for us things can still be really hard but when I compare our family to where we were 3 years ago there are huge changes.. I found some notes where I had tried to document what was happening and on a good day when I had the time to write I had documented 15 times my son had bitten me - in one day... now we have no biting at all (dealing with kicking and throwing objects still) so for me in my house that is success



baby steps my friend

Tanya - posted on 04/10/2012

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My son is nearly 5 and diagnosed autistic at 2.5 years. I find sitting in front of the toybox and saying "in the box" while tossing in a toy and making it into a game is the best way. I say "your turn" and he joins in. I've never really had an issue with him not wanting to help tidy up especially when I make it fun. As for the paper cutting, it sounds like it could be his way of calming down after being at school so perhaps sitting with him at a table and doing it together will get him out of doing it all through the house and making a mess, could even set a special place for him to do it there. Hope that helps!

Misty - posted on 04/10/2012

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one of the things that works with both of my kids is sitting there with them while they take on the task we need done... if it's cleaning up to be done, we start with specific items and then move on to colour, shape, size and whatever else we need put away in it's place until the job is done...this cuts down on the overwhelming feeling of the room clutter and helps the kids make sense of the mess....we do verbal cuing here only since neither of my kids actually takes the time to really look at picture stories....

Kathy - posted on 04/10/2012

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Yea I have tried all of those things :( He is a very smart kid! He doesn't react to rewards very much.. unfortunetly the one thing that does work well with him is this needs to happen or this consequence is going to happen :(



I have been to 5 different behavioral intervention businesses and most people just thought me and the hubby were being to "negative" all the time doing the consequence thing instead of rewards etc.. but they even noticed after time and getting to know him... he doesn't care about rewards

Kathy - posted on 04/10/2012

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My son was diagnosed with PDDNOS as well but I do not find charts work for him at all.. the rewards have to be instant or you can just toss that out the window :( I find my son is negative all the time which is frustrating :( We have worked so well and hard at behaviors we want changed but we can't seem to get him to get rid of the negativity (getting angry, yelling, snapping, etc)

Terrie - posted on 04/10/2012

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My son has an obsesson with paper and tape and I had to limit how often he play with it and he had to play with it with me so I could monitor how much was being used. He loved to tape it all over the place, cut it up into pieces, and leave it all over the place. Like your son he is very messy and hates house work. He has mild to moderate Autism and is 12years of age. In the early years we had to do hand over hand house cleaning with him and even though he was kicking and screaming while we did it, after we pick up so much, then we would reward him, then pick up more then reward him. After that we taught him to pick it up as he played. This meant that we would have to watch his play and if he layed down something and was no longer using it we would tell him to put it up and reward him for doing so. It does not have to be a big reward, just a bite of his favorite food or something. Later you can taper off to where you are just saying great job. This is actually ABA training if you have not heard of it. My son still has his moments of messyness but when I say clean up he goes right to it with no arguement. This did not happen overnight. There was kicking screaming and tears. Like a tean he will complain but he does it and that is all that matters to me. I know this is hard and you are welcome to join me on facebook if you have one. My name is Terrie Hortman Humphries. Autism can be a lonely feeling. Well they call it all Autism Spectrum Disorder because there are various degrees of it PDD being one of them.

Beth - posted on 04/03/2012

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I have a son like that now he is 17 and still a nightmare. You have to be one step ahead of them and have their day mapped out for them, at school he is better because he knows what is going to happen next and he is supervised but as soon as you leave them alone trouble starts. plan his day make sure that you fill his day with different things like at school like for example dressed and breakfast half an hour feeding the ducks or walking a dog or ( etc ) then home for drink and biscuit time then another planned event then lunch and so on. you have to make life like school he most probably feels lost when he is at home, and punishments must be something that really matter to him like loosing something, my son used to like his dad just to sit with him at night and telling him dad will not, sometimes did the trick you must find that which really matters to him threats dont work unless you carry them out straight away be consistant and mean what you say and make sure if you have a partner they back you . never leave them to free play thinking you are going to have peace. you need to get them focussed find what they are focussed on these chidren are not living in your world. when friends come to visit me doesnt matter who they are he calls them fat I have told him and shouted and threatened but that hasnt stopped him they get into some mode and cant get out of it All I can do is tell I dont like and warn my friends there are alot of us suffering out there but dont blame yourself and it will take years and maybe a lifetime to come to terms with. I hope Ive been helpfull

Michelle - posted on 04/01/2012

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I had a tss come and help with tragedies. Talk to the school about it they should direct you in the right direction. My son is 3 and after a break down, I finally asked for help and omg what a difference!

Tina-Maria - posted on 03/27/2012

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My 7yr old daughter is the same and bribery doesn't work... I have to count to five and tell her if I get to five she will go to time out or to bed if she is really bad... Kids with PDD-NOS and other levels of the autism spectrum need to be kept in check more than other children, because where other children will grow out of the behaviour our children will get worse if the behaviour isn't controlled before 8-9 yrs of age... Our children are strong willed and stubborn for longer. You do not want a teenager that will completely rule over you and has no self control... When u discipline him remind yourself you are not being hard on a child with a handicap, you are being a good mother and teaching your child to be a good person who will grow into a good adult :)

Elizabeth - posted on 03/26/2012

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You may also think about if you are asking him to do something that really is overwhelming to him. An instruction to clean his room or even "pick up your toys" may be too much. We have pictures boards (with velcro so he can pull each one off as he does it and drop it in the done bucket) for each thing. So for cleaning his room, there is a card for putting his books on the shelf, one for putting clothes in the hamper, one for putting stuffed animals on the bed, etc. He is 8 and we have done it for awhile and I still have to help him through it. But he is much better at it than he used to be.

Amanda - posted on 03/25/2012

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No we dont specifically do aba, there are no providers in our area. Actually its not even currently covered around here. But our therapist uses alot of principals of aba.

Amanda - posted on 03/25/2012

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Our therapist works alot on compliance issues with my son. So we do alot of you need to do this to get that. So if he wants to play wii, he has to clean up his toys first. Another thing we do is use lots of bins, pirates go in one, little people in another, matchbox cars in another. It works well for us. He is much better at putting things away when they have a specific home. Its also resulted in him playing with more toys because he cant look into a toy box full of different items and decide. It will cause a meltdown. If he refuses to do a to get b and has a meltdown we do not give him b. We wait out the melt down and then when he is ready he will finsih a to get b 90% of the time. But we have to be strict with it, if we let him get away with it, it tends to me more difficult the next time. Hope that makes sense it hard to explain. I guess its a modified first/then schedule.

Katherine - posted on 03/24/2012

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No you're not being too strict. Confetti is a pain to clean up. ABA=Applied Behavior Analysis

Sara - posted on 03/23/2012

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Oh and P.S. I did get him several kinds of the stress balls. They seem to be working well in Latchkey where he has no services at circle time, etc. But at home, all he wants to do is color and cut. I told him tonight that if he does not clean up his mess at home one more time, the scissors are going to be donated to school - and I mean it, too. I cannot do little pieces of paper everywhere. He agreed but I am always wondering if I am being too strict...?

Sara - posted on 03/23/2012

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Thank you Katherine, LOL...breathing...



I finally put my foot down and made him clean up his room tonight. For a reward, I took him and his cousin out to ice cream. I kept praising him over and over. Yes he has an IEP, and several services @ school. Its just at home that needs work. I printed off a bunch of picture cards so I could start a picture schedule at home...its just adapting to a totally different methodology than I was raised. It's an anomaly to me....what is an ABA?

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