Why are more and more parents trying to get a Autism diagnosis????

Chasity - posted on 06/08/2011 ( 182 moms have responded )

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I sat here for 2 hours and wondered if I should post this because of the nature of it but I had to, so here goes. I am really wanting to know why so many parents WANT a diagnosis of autism...my meaning is they go to doctors and doctors say its not autism but they have a sensory disorder. Why is that not enough?? Why when a child seems to get upset all the time is it autism? Or a child has insomnia its autism? Or a child doesn't have friends or is shy its Autism?? I have read so many conversations in this group of people saying they believe they have a child with autism but doctors say they do not. I am not trying to come off as rude but I knew my daughter had a problem and hoped as I walked into the office they would tell me different but they didnt and she was diagnosed with autism. I just want to know why its so important for some to get that diagnosis although they have already received a diagnosis other then Autism.

UPDATE 8/29/2013

Thank everyone who answered, I never expected my post to get so much attention but it helped me understand different points of view on the subject. I hope everyone here also learned something.

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because "sensory issues" or behavioral problems don't get the kids any services or help from the system - medical or school. Reality is that kids need those supports and services and the only way to get them for many people is to have the diagnosis. I don't think people think it's a good thing to have that label, just for kicks, but because they honestly need help for their kids.

Ashlie - posted on 01/06/2012

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I thought I would reply to this since this is something that tends to irritate the "Autism community" You look at a child with Aspergers and you think to yourself "oh he's just hyper active" or "he's just a bratt" or "he just has social issues" (as if most have an MD behind their name.) Autism is a SOCIAL disorder. The part of the brain that controls social communication did not develop properly. I am a mother of 2 autistic children so I will speak on behalf of the rest of us...1)Pediatricians CANNOT diagnose autism, they do not have the degree nor the education to do so. That is why parents who go in feeling something is not right will come out with an answer "your childs fine!" It's because Pediatricians do not know what to look for. 2) Why do you want a diagnosis? I'll tell you why. When your child starts school, did you know that by LAW the school district does not have to offer the services your child may need UNLESS you have an official diagnosis? Regardless what the issue may be. I'm sorry but this frustrates me so much when people have this perspective. It's people like that that convince another parent not to seek out the help they need because they will consistently be told by friends and family "Your child is fine!" the danger in that is if you do not get the help your child needs at an early age then you are hindering them reaching their full potential in life. We are actually moving to another state to get our kids the services they need because the state we live in does not have Autism resources. If you want to see a DETAILED list of symptoms that define Autism then you can look at the blog I set up. 1)Read "Meet Our Family" and there I list all my childrens symptoms and then you can mosey on over to "Does my child have Autism?" and I list a lot more. Also I should add that you should be noticing more than one symptom in the child. Every specialist I have talked to says that these symptoms will start to show around 18 months. A parent may notice one or two before that age but they all start to unfold around 18 mos. which is also the time you are supposed to get the MMR shot which is why some parents unintentionally blame it on Vaccines. I did not get vaccines out of fear of Autism so I know it wasn't vaccines. http://autismspuzzle.blogspot.com/search...

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I have a 13 year old daughter who was born with no hearing whatsoever in her right ear. We did not know something was wrong till she was almos 18 months old. We knew something was odd that we would talk to her near her but when we were in the next room she didnt hear us. Anyway, while getting our son checked out for ear infections, hearing tests, they checked hers as well. one thing let to another and she had to have tubes and auditor brain response test; finding no functioning nerves on right side ear. so that being said we just though her odd behavior as a toddler was just part of that and her manner. Though, she pushed people way from touch and loving getures; mom, dad, brother etc... She also had a severe speeech delay but these were all separate issues... Though the touch issue stayed and she would get grouchy about it... Durin 4th grade everything was starting to really come to head...withdrawn, reading excessively. 5th grade she started her period and she regressed to a 3 year old needing help getting dressed and changing her pads. (she bled straight 3 months) Hiding her face became a common occurance, scored way above district, state, and national levels in school but... she seemed behind socially. She did things that were strange behavior. She would become almost a brick in uncommon surroundings, putting her long hair in her face to shield herself from the world. She just seemed to be getting worse as time went on... not wanting to be around people. It was not about being shy it was like she became void literally, which scared us. She seemed to have issues with feeling or lack of... She started blurting things out that were very unappropriate not in connection at the moment either. She holds things in not knowing how to work through her feelings, she started scratching her head and the forehead till it bled. She would hide weird things in cabinets around the house. She would take off without saying anything off in her own world, no matter where we were; store, zoo. It was scarey as a small child doing that, as an older child I just try to keep an eye on her from a distance but even then she sometimes gets out of my view and I have to search for her. She has a hard time staying wth any group even family. So, no insurance has not been a key to wanting to know if she had aspergers/autism. Trying to understand her, why she does what she does, how to help her be prepared for the world through her eyes, that is why we sought a psychologist that dealt with autism/aspergers to see if that is what we were dealing with. I cried when the diagnoses what handed over as it felt like a death warrant. Because with autism/aspergers she would not be what we and society considers normal, she would face hardships dealing with other people, she would need more direction in life, and then what woud happen to her when her daddy and I were gone, who would take care to make sure she was ok and provided for if she was not able to for whatever reason if life became to hard for her to do for herself. Hearing from people I know that know other people with children with autism/aspergers sounds like it as been a nightmare with getting insurance companies to cover therapies for severe cases of autism so no I do not think anyone wants to have to deal with diagnoses unless they have to, to better help their child as we all know how we would do whatever we had to, to take care of and protect our children.

Jean - posted on 06/09/2011

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I think so much of this is driven by a society that has less and less tolerance for difference and puts enormous pressures on parents to make our kids "the best." The competition factor has become out of control. I've had time to think about this because with a son with high functioning autism, we can't compete--and so I really notice how competitive people can be about kids. I had one mom talk my ear off for a half-hour about how incredibly worried she was because her son is so terrifically gifted. Really? And oh, yeah she knows my son has a disability. I think she was trying to connect with me, but it was weird. My daughter is "normal" but quirky. Some people really seem to want her to have a label. But the only label that would fit is "FLK: funny little kid." We've had her screened but she just is who she is. She's not unhappy with herself so for the moment we just let it be (but I do give a copy of "The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child" to all her teachers). When my son was diagnosed, the world sprung into action: therapists, interventions, paraprofessionals and he's doing just awesome. But my daughter won't get "help" unless she has a label. And she doesn't really need help. She needs people to stop expecting that if she chooses to sit by herself at lunch that she is maladjusted or sad or lonely. In her case, she needs a half-hour to not talk to anyone. When kids need help, they need help. But the world needs to stop terrifying parents that if they miss one little thing they're going to doom their kid.

Brenda - posted on 06/09/2011

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Unfortunately, many parents don't know what normal development in a child is. They see the outside faces of families around them at their "best". They hear stories about people who have "perfect" children. They think there is something wrong when their child acts like a child. So much of our society expects children to be perfect little miniature adults that parents have very unrealistic expectations of their children.

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Joanne - posted on 08/28/2013

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I agree with you Milagritos and I'm glad you're brave enough to speak your mind on this subject! Yes, I feel too many people are labeling children autistic just because the child may be a little different. There's this new short story on a 3-yr old girl whose mother thought she was autistic because she never spoke a word. The story is very interesting and the end was astounding! Check it out at http://www.truekidsstories.org

Milagritos - posted on 08/16/2013

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Has anyone read The way of Boys by Anthony Rao? Do yourself a favor and pls read it. Autism is diagnost betweet 8 and 9 years old!!! Not 8,9 months old!!!!
Wow I cannot believe there are people out there feeling offended by this post . ...Pre school teachers dare to give a diagnostic when they can only give clues and if your child is different for the rest doesnt mean he has AUTiSM!!! Pls people be more patience to your kids!!!

Marguerite - posted on 08/13/2013

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A diagnosis of autism will help that child receive the right type of educational. Services and treatment.

Toni - posted on 08/05/2013

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And, that's in no way a blow to anyone needing or receiving aide. It was figure out who Christine thinks the moneys going to. Quite frankly, my family is struggling with bills. Due to medical expenses. State aide is something we may have to look into soon

Toni - posted on 08/05/2013

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Money for who? Not for the kids family. We SPEND money. I know I haven't received a dime. Maybe if your receiving state aid, but idk. I pay all my expenses out of pocket. The money for our health insurance is taken from my husbands check each week and that only cover %80. So, if anything, the medical community should be pushing the diagnosis, not parents.

Toni - posted on 08/02/2013

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I'm not defensive or offended in any way by your post, but I will say, not all parents pushing for a diagnosis are looking for a false label or an excuse for their child's behavior. I'm sure some parents want to explain ill behavior away with a diagnosis of an ASD, but some are truly following their gut. Most states are cutting back on funding for schools AND healthcare. If your child is diagnosed with one of these disorders, MOST states HAVE to do something about it in the schools (special classes, exceptions, ect) or help out with medical expenses. That's why most states and school systems wont accept a private group diagnosis and require a state approved group to confirm. Either way, parents know their children better than anyone ever could. They see what others don't, until 10 or 15 years go by and the treatment or therapies are less effective and the child's future has already been permanently altered or damaged.. Most choose to advocate for their children in the most formative years, while their future is still bright. I have a 10 year old that is so obviously different, was diagnosed by a private group with Asperger's, but school system wont accept that. We have to go through all this again. And he's NOT a discipline problem at all. Actually, the total opposite. He's being bullied and is ostracized from the other boys. (we don't live in the most friendly of school districts). Moving, at this point, is almost impossible, financially. He's going to slip through the cracks if something isn't done and we don't have the money for private/home schooling. NJ doesn't offer free cyber or home schooling yet. Like previous parents have responded, you basically only receive help if your child carries a label

Angela - posted on 07/01/2013

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hi i have bean fighting for 12 and a half years to no or get a diagnonses for my child and if it was autisum then i would get the flags out as it is some thing that you then can get support for help for so life can move forward my point is its a diagnoses and no it dont think it was rude and a good point i think head docs so move and help familys instead of sitting on the bottoms and getting paid x

Chasity - posted on 01/09/2012

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Ok im sorry but maybe again I should re explain what I mean, PLEASE read if my post offended you!!!! I was at the park and a mom was talking to me and asked why my daughter was by herself on the other side of the playground, I said she has autism and prefers to play alone, then she comes back with oh my son has signs to, I said oh really? She says yes he gets very angry when he doesnt get his way, he likes to use a spoon instead of a fork and he plays with toys that are for babies...........ok stupid person you can clearly tell your child is being a NORMAL child and your looking for a reason behind him being awkward!!!! So all you parents that had to travel to tons of doctors this comment was not directed at you but to the parents who are looking for a problem when non exists!

Corina - posted on 01/09/2012

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I don't its like wow please diagnosis my child with Autism. I think we just realize and people tell us theres something different about our child. Why not get some kind of label, even if its not Autism. Hate to say it like that but you will not get the help for your child if they don't have some sort of label on them. Honestly, the doctors and therapist are not going to label your child unless they really think they need it. We all know how expensive it is for the school to provide special pre-k, bussing for kids that need it. Legally they are entitled to take the bus to and from school. Plus, all the therapies they have during the school year.
Honestly, I think its confusing as well to parents. You want to do whats best for them. My son last year was diagnosed with GDD. I feel relieved, at least I know what it is. Plus, the school can work more with his needs.

Shannon - posted on 01/09/2012

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As a parent with children on the spectrum, labels (as far as I am concerned) only help in gaining insight to how our children function, in creating treatment plans, in gaining educational rights and or special designations for taxation purposes.
My 3 children all have IEP's (Individual Education Plans) and my one son was only formally diagnosed last month with Asperger's (he just turned 17), and my daughter's "language impairment" school classification was changed to the diagnosis of "pervasive developmental disorder" after extensive testing with a consulting developmental pediatrician.
These diagnosis will allow them to have accommodations both at post secondary school and in the work place as well as have a better understanding to advocate for themselves.

Helen - posted on 01/09/2012

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When I approached my doctors I was concerned that I would be told I was a cr*p mum, despite having 2 other "normal" children and another a bit quirky. I certainly didn't go seeking an autism diagnosis. It was the doctor who suggested the possibility of autism to me.
I do understand where your question comes from though. A lot of people don't seem happy with the diagnosis they are given BUT sometimes the doctors do get it wrong. Sometimes the diagnosis isn't right and in order to get the right help it might be that you need the proper diagnosis to get the support.

Helena - posted on 01/08/2012

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I was just about to post a question when I came across your post. I am trying to find help for my son because he is slipping through the cracks. In my instance, I don't want him to have autism (or aspergers) or really any other issue, I just want to know how to help him. I parent under the assumption that he is an average little boy because all of the things that I bring up to people (school &dr.) are said to be quirks or just "something some kids go through". I know that all kids go through different phases but where is the line. I personally feel as if his behavior is right outside the set limits for diagnosis. Where does that leave us? Struggling to find help. If my child tested at 71 on an IQ test, I wouldn't be relieved that he barely slipped through, I'd have wished that he had scored the 70 so that he could get help. Unfortunately, lines in the sand keep some kids from getting the help they need. I guess that is just one perspective for you, not to say that there aren't people out there just searching for attention and the like.

Cheri - posted on 01/05/2012

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I have a son who was diagnosed almost 2 years ago with PDD-NOS. I had never even heard the term until his Speech therapist at the local Children's Hospital brought it up. In addition to that, his ECI teacher that came to our house several times a month told me that there were "red" flags for Autism based on both her own observations as well as things I had told her. Interestingly enough, my husband and I had been questioning the possibility of autism before either of these women said anything. I honestly didn't know much about autism as I had only been in contact with a few autistic children throughout my 10 years of teaching. When our son was diagnosed with PDD-NOS we weren't surprised in the least, nor were we relieved. Regardless of where a child is on the spectrum, autism is not a diagnosis any parent wants for their child. With that being said, I have to agree that there are some people who do seek just such a diagnosis, and unfortunately it's not always for the right reasons.

I have a sister-in-law who is insisting that her son is autistic. She didn't start seeking a diagnosis for him until about 6 months ago. He does have some learning disabilities but he doesn't now, nor has he ever, shown any signs of autism. She has tried to get him evaluated and has been told several times that an evaluation is not warranted. She has basically self-diagnosed him now. The thing that really irritates me is that her son is 5 years older than mine and she never saw anything wrong until well after my son was diagnosed. She calls me to "pick my brain" about my son's behavior only to say afterwards that her son has done or is doing the same things.

My other sister-in-law is a Special Education teacher and she has frequent contact with our nephew. She agrees that he has a learning disability and Speech problems but she doesn't believe he is autistic either. She said that it is obvious that our son is autistic and she works with autistic children on a daily basis so she's very knowledgeable. Even her husband who has very limited knowledge of autism said he totally sees it in our son.

We didn't have to pursue a diagnosis so adamantly because it was so apparent that our son is on the spectrum. We did go for a second opinion though because our pediatrician suggested we do so before she would refer us back to the local ASD clinic for services. The developmental ped gave us a different diagnosis that is more prevalent in the UK but it is still part of the autism spectrum.

The only reason I can think of for my sister-in-law to want her son diagnosed with autism is because she does NOT want him diagnosed with ADD/ADHD. I guess in her mind autism is the lesser of two evils. I think that for some people, possibly my sister-in-law included, autism is the new "in" thing. It's not something anyone should want their child to have and being part of the autism community is not like being part of the popular crowd at school. Having a child with autism is scary and overwhelming and exhausting at times. I can't see how anyone would WANT that.

Jane - posted on 01/04/2012

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My son is about to start testing for autism at the age of 12. Do I want him to be autistic - no! Not at all. But, without a diagnosis to give the school a 'box' to put him in, they cannot deal with his individuality. He is a loner, highly intelligent, can work out maths and science problems in his head accurately without even him understanding how he does it sometimes, has no empathy for people (but does for animals, so not a sociopath), hates change, and doesn't want to be touched by strangers even in the course of a sport, such as rugby. Also hates getting dirty so rugby and football not a good idea. So anyway, I get called to the school because they are 'concerned' when, during a discussion about starving children in India, Stewart says 'well they shouldn't have kids if they can't feed them'. A purely logical answer to him - gasp, shock horror to everyone around him. If he gets a diagnosis of being on the lower end of the Autistic spectrum, then they will deal with it - if not he's supposed to change his nature!! What else am I supposed to do? BTW - the above was just one example of the things they don't like about the way he is, there have been many others. The suggestion of autism came from a children's counsellor he was referred to following a bad spate of bullying he suffered.

Andrea - posted on 01/03/2012

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Parents know when something isn't quite right with their children. Years ago ADD/ADHD was the big diagnosis, yes. My oldest son who is almost 18, was diagnosed an Aspie just three years ago, shortly after I had my last son. It was very frustrating with my oldest who was highly intelligent but socially "stunted", his lack of affection towards family members.. Mostly appearing rude and distant to outside observers..we spent years and countless medications to deal with his anger issues..deep depression and high anxiety swings.. His intentional isolation from people is alarming, he goes to school like other kids primarily keeping to himself or having very little interaction with peers..grades are stellar, takes advanced and college prep classes, 2nd in his class set to graduate in 2013. But I haven't heard him refer to me as mom for almost ten years, all adult family members are referred to by their first name..it's soul crushing raising a child and not understanding them and finally once his new dr took the time to review his case he called us in and wanted him tested when all was said and done we were given the Aspie diagnosis. Now that I know all this I am more prepared to be more proactive in my younger son (almost 4) with intervention, therapies and early acceptance into Pre-K .. All to help with the social anxieties and avoid the difficulties and obstacles my oldest had to face because we didn't know. I don't know everyone's motives but mine were for my sons benefit not my own.

Ali - posted on 01/02/2012

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Parents want an answer for things that make them feel out of control, at fault, or insecure about. Their son's tantrums, their daughter's want to only eat peanut butter sandwiches, their son's seemingly obsessive habit of repeating words he hears. Those are all normal toddler behaviors that nearly every child experiences. It is a way of testing their environment and learning from their experience. However, some parents who feel out of control, insecure about what others think or even their own judgement of their child, or feel at fault for not being able to correct the behavior. That leads them to look for answers that give some relief. "Oh he has ..... because I can't control it" or "He has .... because I've never seen a child do that" or unfortunately the fear of judgement to their child's behavior leads them on an adventure to seek diagnosis, so they can steer from the "Oh she can't handle her child" or something of that nature.

When in reality a lot of the time the child is perfectly normal and perfectly healthy. Every child has a tick unique to them, and some children don't respond to the normal techniques that were passed down to their parents on how to handle situations. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong, but to a parent in the situation it can be laziness to parent and/or just simply not knowing the proper tools. So their next step is to seek out "what's wrong with my child".

I believe, that is the biggest reason why soo many children are being "diagnosed" with ADD and ADHD. A harder disorder to diagnose then Autism and often is misdiagnosed. It is another broad spectrum disorder then many normal children share symptoms of. Too many doctors are following the path to ignore other methods and instead diagnose a child. Labeling them will not cure them, even when drugged to the nines, but some people refuse to believe otherwise.

I do understand that a lot of children DO have Autism and DO have ADD or ADHD. (My sister has ADHD and was properly diagnosed) However, anymore it is a cop out reason to why, to lack of trying, to anything but the reasoning behind your child's ticks and behaviors.

Heather - posted on 01/02/2012

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With me, I think it boils down to... my sons are severely autistic and deep down I 'm jealous of moms with kids who can talk, use the bathroom and so forth. That sadness sometimes comes out as anger or resentment, but I'm trying to get past that. I want to concentrate on having good times with my sons, not being jealous about high functioning kids who can say "mom" and things like that.

Heather - posted on 01/02/2012

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With me, I think it boils down to... my sons are severely autistic and deep down I 'm jealous of moms with kids who can talk, use the bathroom and so forth. That sadness sometimes comes out as anger or resentment, but I'm trying to get past that. I want to concentrate on having good times with my sons, not being jealous about high functioning kids who can say "mom" and things like that.

Sherreka - posted on 01/02/2012

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I agree with most on who have comented on this post the want for a diagnosis isnt a want to have a child with autism but a chance to find out which way to go next. I asked his pediatrician about my son being autistic she said she did not see enough signs fo that diagnosis just a speech delay and a few delays in other areas but she told me she would put me in contact with those who could help tell me for sure because she didnt spend every day with my son so she didn't see what I saw. I was fortunate to have a doctor that thought this way many others wouldve said that he he wasn't autistic and sent me home and if I had that type of dr. than I wouldve went for a second opinion. My sons father has been hoping that our son didn't get a diagnosis of autism but if thats what it took to get him the help he needs no to be successful in life later than okay. My son flapped, hit his head, preferred to spend most of his time alone in his room, and had no eye contact, he didn't do well around other kids and wouldn't only had a few words in his vocabulary along with other delays before he started the early intervention program in April 2010 by May of 2011 when he got the diagnosis of Autism he was making great eye contact, no longer flaps, on hits his head in really high pressure situations, has started wanting to spend much of his time with mom and dad. Has a friend he looks foward to seeing, has more words than we can count (mostly for identifying but is a great improvement). He done so well with the help of all his therapies that we thought for a bit he wouldn't get the diagnosis but in fact he did. But becasue of this now that he's aged out of early intervention he is getting help through the public schools EC program help he greatly needs to be ready for school and succeed in school, help that he recieved of the basis of an autism diagnosis.
I don't go around shouting from the roof tops that my son is autistic, I only tell those who spend a significant time with my son and they say your son seems "normal" and I have no problem with that. I say good, that means what were doing must be working.
Its not that I wanted my son to be autistic, I wanted my son to be helped.

Melissa - posted on 12/30/2011

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I personally didnt "want" the autism diagnosis. With my firstborn it came as a shock; but explained so many of the "quirks" he seemed to have. My youngest started showing signs and I was in denial for a while. My dream of having a child that didnt have to struggle for things others take forgranted was not to be. Both of my boys are in a world of their own where I am allowed to be a part of it on their terms. Sometimes getting a concrete answer is what parents need to know what the next step should be.

Joy - posted on 12/30/2011

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I know what you mean. My son is hyper active and has issues and everyone I know says "oh it sounds like autism" or "this looks like autism." His behavior is interfering at home and at school and I am taking him to a doctor on the 3rd. I am hoping beyond hope that it is NOT autism and it is something that we can manage. Why does everyone keep telling me it is autism?

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I agree, although autism is a spectrum, and includes a range of symptoms it can be overused. Our son is 8 1/2 and very high-functioning but still not clear what his diagnosis would be since his symptoms depend on the environment/day. Sometimes it looks like sensory issues, ADD, Aspergers, impulse control, anxiety, lack of fine motor skills. He's been to see 2 pediatricians about a year apart, but neither of them seemed to be asking relevant questions. For the longest time his symptoms were very subtle, and since he's a quiet, unobtrusive child most people would assume he's just shy. We hope to see a developmental pediatrician soon. The biggest help has been his OT, through the school. I don't care what his diagnosis is, just what coping strategies help him in the long run. If it were bad parenting I would jump right in and fix things.

Dawn - posted on 12/28/2011

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Just one more thing...why do you care? If your child is fine, you should thank God and leave it at that. My question to you is, why should you judge others who are trying to get help for their children. If you are going to be opinionated why not pick on those who abuse children, not those seeking help. Sorry if this offends you, but everytime I get a notification about this post, it really bothers me! I have to take my child out in public with people judging us I should not be judged for doing what I can to help him and neither should anyone else!

Sharon - posted on 12/27/2011

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my child dr. wanted to tell me that she is autism but me and here father didn't want to here that so we toke her to see another dr. and they done some test on her and told me that she fine ...
some parent just don't know when to just stop and think what they are doing to there children.. that dr. told me a pill will fix her and me as a parent want to tell him off but i just walked out and found a good dr. for my child...

Kris - posted on 12/24/2011

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I am HORRIFIED by your post. I have a child with autism. He would scream when we went into certain places, later discovering that their store had lights that hurt his eyes and ears or doors that he couldn't walk through because they made no sense to him. He could not learn how to say the alphabet or write his name. He could not use the mouse on a computer. He is not fully potty trained at almost 6. He rocks and chants. He can count and memorize certain things, like characters in a movie and what time they come on the screen. He counts cards when we play games and knows how many tiles I have in my house.

The autism spectrum is so large and can be caused by so many different things: allergies, brain issues, etc. My son is one of 5 children in my family (ages 13, 9, 8, 5, 4). I have not done anything different with him, than my other children.

We sought out an explanation to why he is like that and wanted a label so that I CAN RESEARCH better ways for him to learn, better ways to make him develop. I have homeschooled my children, except for him, because I know my limitations. I am just finishing up my BS in Education because I wanted to learn how to help him.

With our diagnosis, we were able to get him into a proper classroom where he gets one on one to learn the things he is behind in and may always be behind in.

We do not have insurance, so do NOT get medical help. We do not drug our child, but instead changed our eating habits, and vitamin intake, We do NOT get money from our state for help, because according to our state, my son is not bad enough to be institutionalized. I know that not all parents take steps as I have, but know that there are some out there that are not just "using the system".

We are able to attend a special needs group through our local library where my so doesn't have to be around be crowds and noise for their programs. Nothing is more embarrassing to a mom than to have to remove their child from a public setting because they start scratching their face or pulling their ear because "normal" kids got too loud.

My son is a high-functioning child who does speak and can sometimes tell us that there are issues with a location or something hurts him. But, not all can do that.

I hope that you become more tolerant of others because you do not know behind the scenes and pray that your child doesn't ever take a turn with their issues that you can not handle.

Lisa - posted on 12/20/2011

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I can not speak for everyone here but in my opinion it's not that anyone wants a Autism diagnoses... they just want to get their child all the help they need. Sometimes this means having the right diagnoses. I say this because I couldn't get all of the help I needed for my son with out the correct diagnoses!!

Kristy - posted on 12/19/2011

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I can only speak for myself here but my son has suffered from anxiety, social, poor fine motor skills, etc since he was about 3 yrs old. It was no issue for me until kinder when they asked that he be assessed so that they could provide additional support to him with government funding, this also become an issue in primary school when he needed Speech Therapy, Occ therapy & an Aide for most of his day. So my sons diagnosis stands simply as an Intellectual Disability, they have told me he is aspergers and i completely agree & support him as needed but i have not had this 'officially' diagnosed. I still get grief from his school now and then almost begging for an 'Autism' diagnosis so that they can 'provide extra support' but for now I think they can manage. So maybe that there is some of a reason for some people to be requesting these diagnosis's, i know that it helped my son from our early days with Scope Victoria to our current situation as Grade 2 (almost 3) at School =)

Julie - posted on 12/17/2011

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I'm with you on all of this. We're in a very similar position and just contemplating whether to apply for a Statement for our son, as we home educate him at the moment but school of some kind may be better for him soon as he is now 10 years old. It doesn't get easier really. Some things improve because you work on them with your child then, as in our case right now, a whole new set of things crop up which need addressing in order to try to help him. Each day is a huge challenge. We only have one child which perhaps in some ways is fortunate, but he can be as bad as having a houseful of challenging kids on some days, as we can attest to from looking after our nieces and nephews, so no, it doesn't really get any easier, but having a name for the "problem" helps when an explanation is needed, which it often is!

Julie - posted on 12/17/2011

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And you also have other members of the family and "friends" who expect your child to "fit" in and comply with their idea of appropriate behaviour, etc! It does my head in because there are so many people out there who can't accept others for who they are, quirks and all, don't want to let kids be kids, and are very quick to criticise and, in our case, tell us we're bad parents! God bless all of you who are going through or have been through the same kind of thing - you all know what I'm talking about! x

Carol - posted on 12/16/2011

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have to admit i really agree with this, sorry if that offends but i was that mum who swore there was nothing wrong with my little girl, the arm flapping, humming, temper tantrums and the failure to talk was all normal just a child froma traumatic birth that is taking that little extra to catch up... i slapped myself when the consultants said asd as it was obvious if you knew about the condition, i knew nothing about asd and dreaded the idea there was something not quite right with my child but also i was relieved when they told me my child wasnt just naughty there was a reason for her actions, also the relief that i wasnt a bad parent.. a lot of parents blame themselves so harshley for every action taken or not and wonder for so long if there is something wrong to blame for there childs behaviour and 90% of the time it is just the child and that 10% there is a medical condition that can clarify the weird behaviour... were lucky we have a reason to shrug off its ok removing your clothes in tesco's thats fine its just another asd factor, licking the road signs on the way to school hey its not nice and we need to find a way round it but it could be worse right, my almost 4 yr old is starting to show traits and i'm dreading a diagnosis and praying for learned behaviour. it is all to easy now to blame everything on a condition, especially with a diagnosis that is sooo vague now as asd rather than putting each diagnosis in a neat little box so many people are mislead into thinking life with a diagnosis gets easier and i hate to say it really doesnt we have had a massive fight for over 3 years now more tests than any child should have to go through before their 4th birthday and it still hasnt ended we now fight for the perfect education if there is such a thing, the fight for tollerance in adults and children and just for simple ideas to help us get through the difficult days...

Carrie - posted on 12/14/2011

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I understand where you're coming from about wanting to hear something other than autism, but not that I want a diagnosis of autism, but he has so many of the signs and symptoms it's ridiculous and it has been ruled out twice. The problem is they have also told me we may never know what's wrong with my son. He is speech delayed, 30% dev delayed, sensory issues, severe anxiety, ADHD, it would be nice to have one kind of diagnosis instead of having to explain to people all the problems he has versus saying one thing. Though I agree people who have kids with small amounts of issues, shouldn't want the diagnosis, but that is how I feel.

Julie - posted on 12/13/2011

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Why did you want your doctor to tell you your daughter didn't have autism? Do you have a problem with this "label"?

Kisa - posted on 12/12/2011

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some hit it on the head. a dx of sensory processing disorder isn;t in the DSM iV and therefore NO services or help in school unless another dx of ADHD or ASD. my son is a severe SPD seeker. the schools say this IS NOT a learning disability. oh really: when it takes 25min of hard input to get 10min of cooperation out of him, that isn;t a disability. it has taken 1yr to learn 5 letters and sounds due to him SPD seeking. so the ONLY way to get help in school is to seek out another dx unfortuantly. I do not want him to have ADHD or ASP but I do know if he does he can get help and thrive better. So our wonderful gov't and school system has made this happen, where people seek out a dx that will get their kid services. what is weird is any mild speech delay gets all sorts of help where my SPD seeker wild child who speeks fine gets nothing where his neighbor may be learning just fine and ahead in school but speech is a bit behind gets tons of stuff. it really is a rock in a hard place with a child with idiopathic SPD. I do not wish by any means for my child to have severe autism, but he does need another dx to get help in school.

Danelle - posted on 12/08/2011

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hi ladies i just put up a post of just some of the things my son does. i have 2 other children as well but my second youngest which 4 jan i dont want to do anymore my post starts off i am a 22 year old with 3 kids and another one on the way please read and tell me what u think. i dont care about extra payments or anything i just want to know what is going wrong is it me or is there something really wrong alot ppl have said he is not right but i just dont know please help me

Eriqita - posted on 12/07/2011

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I dont know why anyone would want that!!!!! My child goes to Kennedy Kruger its a great place!!! Me n my husband has to beg him to eat more then just pizza n nuggets n a few other things . He is in the 2nd % for speech and is in ot and has been for five years now!!!!! People use to tell me as he was a couple years old to get him tested i did not due to the fact there where two others in the fam with autism and he ws not like them. Little did i know there are different types and different saver ties. Living with an autistic child is hard and i dont know why anyone would want that!!!!

Dawn - posted on 11/08/2011

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I am the mother of a 13 year old SEVERELY Autistic child. He has trouble communicating his needs and wants and anyone who looks at him can tell he his autistic. When my child was two, he did not speak, point to things or interact in any way. He never looked directly at anyone and seemed to be in his own world all the time. My pediatrician told me to take him to an audiologist because she did not believe there was anything wrong with him. The audiologist said he believed there was a severe developmental delay. Still THREE PEDIATRICIANS LATER, I was sent to Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, where he was diagnosed with Autism. It took more than two years and by that time it was too late for the early intervention doctors are so fond of now.
The bottom line is this...no one wants to know their child is Autistic. I can't begin to tell you how difficult our lives are now. But 10 years later and some children are still being misdiagnosed and I always tell people, a mom knows her child. If you believe something is wrong, maybe something is wrong and you should go to a hospital or doctor dealing specifically with Autism. It can't hurt to be sure...it definitely hurts not to!!!!!!

[deleted account]

2 of my children have been diagnosed with Asperger's, which is part of the Austistic spectrum. I did not WANT this diagnosis, what I wanted, was help or advice in dealing with some of the tricky behaviours that do not respond to the "normal" parenting methods. I am an early childhood teacher, & was in denial for quite some time. I do, however think that sometimes Asperger's is misdiagnosed, because in Australia, a diagnosis of Asperger's or Autism qualifies a child for the extra funding for support they may need at school, whereas some of the other associated conditions do not. I know of a woman who has been trying to self diagnose her child with Asperger's for years, eventhough specialists have said his problems are environmental, & could be aided by some boundaries & stability at home. Interesting stuff, hey?

Sally - posted on 11/06/2011

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An Autism or ASD diagnosis means more benefits for the child. Social Security Disability benefits if lower income status. School will assist with services like hand writing instruction, social play groups, math assistance, instructional assistant, OT, speech therapy.

Sally - posted on 11/06/2011

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An Autism or ASD diagnosis means more benefits for the child. Social Security Disability benefits if lower income status. School will assist with services like hand writing instruction, social play groups, math assistance, instructional assistant, OT, speech therapy.

Danielle - posted on 11/04/2011

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i have a 4 year old with a semi diagnoses he has sensory issues, autistic tendencies, adhd tendencies and ocd tendencies according to the pead but she isnt shore if this is asd or not i am pushing for a diagnoses but i dont want a diagnoses of autism i just want them to decide on one thing as all these tendencies are confusing he was 2 1/2 when they gave him this semi diagnoses i just feel in limbo at the moment i am happy with him whatever ok he is major hard work but he is my baby boy and i love him just the way he is i would rather they said he doesnt have autism but i do want them to make up their mind 100% so we know what we are dealing with and can move forward.

Elena - posted on 11/02/2011

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People aren't going from dr to dr and wanting the dx of autism. Autism has MANY symptoms and there is often a misdx of something else. The best dr that can dx it would be a ped neurologist. Sometimes it is VERY important to get the right dx so the schools will do the things the child needs and have insurance pay for certain services that are sometimes not covered unless there is a dx of autism. I hate it when people lump a few people doing dr shopping to everyone.

Annabel - posted on 11/02/2011

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It depends where you live, but in some countries, funding for additional help only comes with a diagnosis and autism means more help than say a general senosory disorder.... which is odd as autism is a spectrum and some kids need very little extra help, others need everything and more! Here in the UK, the diagnosis means nothing as state benefits are based on assistance needed over and above the "average child", its her epilepsy that qualifies us, not being a pain in..... a difficult child. School here also is all about the exact needs and never has her diagnosis been referred too, its all about the individual (may sound great but theres never enough resources so getting what's on your plan is a different story). I do think thanks to high profile work by autism campaigners, it has become more well known so people feel they know what they are dealing with, its less scary.

We spent our initial diagnosis years in the US, and kids with an autism diagnosis got 10 extra hours of preschool over and above the general developmentally delayed .... could this be the answer?

Venna - posted on 11/01/2011

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yeah i think just getting the proper diagnosis is important to get the right services. we are very fortunate where we live my son has not been diagnosed yet he will be in about 6 to 9 months though and he is already enrolled with two great agencies that have helped him considerably.

Rosie - posted on 11/01/2011

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why do people want a diagnosis? so they can get the proper help their child deserves and needs. i've been fighting for years to get my child properly diagnosed with no luck. his behavior is NOT normal, and it's NOT just ADHD. there is something socially wrong with him, and he also doesn't think about things the same way "normal" people do.
i don't WANT him to have aspergers or high functioning autism, but i do want to get him help. i think you are thinking of this in the completely wrong way.

Teresa - posted on 10/30/2011

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Really do you think it was nice for me to sit at doctor after doctor’s all telling me that there was nothing wrong with my son and in the end telling me that I was the one with the problem not my son. I even had a doctor diagnosing me with obsession disorder in regards to my son then placing me on medication.
Only to find out 3 years later that he has Aspersers. But even then my local GP did not want to write the referral it was only after my insistence. No parent wants there child to have an Autism disorder. But there is a thing for mother’s intuition.
It is better for your child to be correctly diagnosed so that he or she can get the help needed. My sons diagnosis has not change his life but it has changed mine. I now know what it is I am dealing with and can get him the help he needs both at home and school. I just hope that you can understand that by them having Autism on any scale does not make them and different from the rest. I am proud to say my son has Asperser’ s in no way does it excuses his behaviour but if it helps people understand why he is the way he is GOOD.
I can wish you all the best for your daughter and you.

Judi - posted on 10/30/2011

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My son doesn't look like he has Autism, he goes to a normal school, has friends makes eye contact - he's just a little more bouncy than the other kids. But 4 years ago...he didn't stop, sleep, talk, sit, eat, play or let me out of his sight. We didn't get a diaagnosis for 8months because he was/is a bubbly bouncy "bloke" of a boy. But then 4-5 people suggested that we see whats wrong and that is when we got a diagonsis. It hasn't changed him, but it means that in 15 years time he will be an active part of the community able to have a job, clean up after himself read the paper, catch a bus (with headphones on to block out the noise) function. and that is why I'm glad that we got the diagnosis.

Robyn - posted on 10/29/2011

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Hi
just wanted and felt to congradulate the poster of this thread in asking and being brave in this topic. For myself my 6yr old had recently been diagnosed with Aspergers and I sat shellshocked for 10minutes after hearing those words while the paedatrition babbled on about this and that. It was like closure for me now that I sit and think about it, the answers to alot of my own questions and some relief. I work in the mental health/disability field and have done for a long amount of time, so when my daughter was diagnosed at first with difiant disorder, I knew that there was more too it.Her meltdowns,behaviours and obsessiveness, constant night terrors and the fact that she had an above average IQ but was struggling with the kindergarten workload. Added to this was the fact that she struggled socially with her peers and didnt seem to give a damn too the point that if a child came to visit to play, she would ask me or their mother to go home, and eye contact was impossible to get or maintain. In a hallmark event 5 weeks ago I got a voluntary "sorry" for causing injury to me in a violent episode, this was the first time ever and I cried. Might I also add to these factors that my own brother is severly Autistic and both myself and my sisters also can identify with some of the diagnosis criteria from our childhood but back those days any suggestion at "special" my father would quash and insist on mainstream schooling and hey we are fairly consistant, intellegent people. So while I believe that Autism diagnosis is widely debatable, It is about finding the correct diagnosis for the benefit of the child and I always support that a 2nd opinion isnt a bad thing. May I also add that the funding in schools may play a part in the dynamics of getting a specific diagnosis and the fact that whist we know alot more about Autism now, the spectrum is vast and a hell of a lot of misdiagnosis happens. The downside is that its for life and the possibility of an associated mental health illness is almost gaurenteed at some point for the diagnosed, that breaks my heart when I look at my little girl. Parents for all those who are suffering with challenges remember our children are not monsters and that unconditional love is a wonderful thing.

Sharlene - posted on 10/28/2011

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Hi julie I agree with you a parent knowns when there is something wrong with there child. I knew something was wrong when my son was a new born he nevered sleep cryed all the time was delayed in mile stones we got him tested at the 1.5 yrs old with childhood autsim then again at age 3 yrs old with autsim spertrum.Cheers

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