yelling!

Stefanie - posted on 07/04/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I feel I yell too quickly when my 3 year old does not listen. My mom was a yeller and I don't feel it is effective, yet I am SO frustrated. He needs to learn that when Mommy says to do something, he must listen. For picking up toys, it is not so urgent, but it matters for safety issues. It is frustrating and I am not setting a good example when I blow up. HELP!

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Kylie - posted on 07/05/2009

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I have the same problem with my 4year old and 2 1/5year old autistic boys I find just giving their ears a little tickle ( if he doesn't have major sensorg issues with his ears) and telling them that they need to use their ears to listen to mummy works most of the time, but sometimes stress just gets the better of us all

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Alyssa - posted on 02/05/2011

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It takes us a long time to process when someone else asks or tells us to do something. The older the child becomes, sometimes the better and faster the processing gets. I have little to no patience sometimes and I can become a yeller. I try to count to find out how long it takes for my kids to process what I have said, that way I have a sense of what to expect. Even with my seven year old, I need to count to about 40 until he actually processes what I have just asked.

Stefanie - posted on 07/11/2009

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Yes, I am having difficulty in trying to change my habits to accommodate his. I have to learn to say "Oh well" easier than I currently do. Mommy time out helps too. :)

Kirstin - posted on 07/10/2009

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They are on their own little schedules aren't they! There are times when beating my head aginst the wall seems like a more useful activity then trying to get my autistic 8 year old to hurry. That is why I finally took up yoga - to learn what I call the art of the zen parent. Ok, we are gonna miss the bus, oh well. Ok, we are going to be 45 minutes late, oh well. Ok we are going to miss the flight (yes that happened) oh well! guess we'll have to reschedule. :-)

Stefanie - posted on 07/10/2009

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thank you all. He has PDD NOS. He understands, but I think he is being three. He is on his own schedule and I get so frustrated (because we have to catch the bus, go to work, etc...). Then of course, I feel horrible for yelling at him because I know he is a little boy. I am not always in the "fun clean up" frame of mind. Hopefully I can relax more over the summer...

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First, try to remember that even though his chronological age may be 3, his developmental age isn't. Would you yell at a two year or 18-months old the same way? Processing language is difficult for our kiddos. Are you familiar with the Picture Exchange Communication System, or PECS for short? Instead of using words it uses simple, easy pictures. It helped my twins tremendously when they were at that age!

Kirstin - posted on 07/09/2009

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I love the mommy time-out myself. Let's face it - it may not be PC but our kids are very frustrating. HOnestly they don't listen very well and it will, quite frankly, piss you off. We teach them to deal with their anger in a time out soooo, what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

Mary K - posted on 07/05/2009

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Use less words. Say his name and then Say TEETH when you want him to brush his teeth. Say "shirt' when you want him to put his shirt on. Say BATH when it is bathtime - say one word calmly and let him process the request.

Repeat the word as needed.



Give him transistion time. Such as we will be leaving in 3 minute (when leaving the park or home). and do a count down, we will be leaving in 2 minute, we will be leaving in one minute - we are going now. (per my 9 year - just start walking away and he will follow).



Tell him what you want, not what you don't want. Say WALK when you want him to stop running. Say STOP instead of don't run into the street. When he listens - tell him what a great job he did.



Pratice the red light green light game and make it fun. Then when you want him to stop doing something say "red light" smile, tell him what you want him to do and say "green light". Tell him great job when he listens.



Making cleaning up fun and help him. Sing a song and get on the floor with him. Or play a game - how many toys can we pick up before we can count to ten. Have him pick up all the red and blue toys and you will pick up the other colors. Smile - make it fun.



Just breath and relax and try to enjoy Motherhood - he is just a little boy once.

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