Doing a homebirth alone

Vashti - posted on 02/16/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

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We just arrived in Australia from NZ and I am pregnant with my third child. With every child I asked about homebirths but all the midwives were very vague and said there was no one they knew of who did them. Now with this baby due in 4 weeks its the only way again I feel comfortable with, especially since we have no car and no one we know here yet. I really don't fancy hopping into a taxi or an ambulance at the critical point of the labour after waters have broken etc and break all my concentration. It will just stress me out, especially since i want my husband to be with me and the kids will be in and out of hospital room with disaproving looks from drs and nurses. No thankyou, i feel way more comfortable just being home and going through the labour and birth on my own. I told my husband to ring the ambulance once head or whole baby is out.

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Emily - posted on 03/03/2009

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I would echo a lot of what Melissa said, in that it can be risky to have an unassisted birth because WHAT IF something went wrong? I totally understand your desire to have a homebirth, having had 2 of my 3 at home, but I did hemorrhage with my 2nd baby, because my placenta was retained and if it hadn't been for my midwife, who knew exactly what was happening and what to do about it, I could have bled to death. She had the knowledge and supplies (i.e. anti-hemorrhage drugs) to deal with the situation. My advice to you, would be ask around in any social setting you might find yourself in, to find out if there are ANY homebirth midwives who would be willing to attend you. The other midwives might not tell you, but you can be sure there are other moms out there who will! If you truly cannot find anybody, then wait until you're sure you're in active labor and then please consider going to the hospital.

Will you probably have a wonderful birth with no problems or complications? Yes. But it isn't worth risking your life or the baby's if something happened to go wrong. I'm an apprentice midwife, and passionate about homebirth and letting women birth the way they choose; but I'd never reccomend an unassisted. As my own midwife tells me over and over, we are attending the birth and will be there to serve the woman- never dictate to her- but if things go wrong, then we are in charge. And really, that's why we're there, for the just in case.



Good luck to you! I really hope you can find someone to come attend you and give you the homebirth you so greatly desire!

Melsclan - posted on 02/26/2009

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I'm a mum in England and I have given birth to 7 children

I wrote the other day and then thought better of it.

After reading the advice of these other mothers have given I feel I should comment

In the UK if u deliberately give birth at home alone without informing midwife, doctor etc U can get struck off from your GP Surgery

DIY BABY!!!! sorry giving birth is something we do alone anyway thats nature

I have given birth twice at home the last baby arrived in 17 minutes I was alone and standing and had to catch my daughter if it had not been for the encouragement of the midwife on the end of the phone for my X husband I don't know what I'd of done.

The midwife was calm and able to tell my X husband what we should look for with the suprise delivery

My baby had the cord wrapped round her neck I had not noticed this and I can honestly say that in my calm yet shocked state of mind I did not think to look, catching her was far more important to me as I was in standing position

My midwife was very wary of me giving birth at home because, the more times u give birth the more likely u are to heamorrage.

Please think very carefully about not telling the proffessionals till after the event

Because all necessary medics were informed I was lucky to have a safe delivery.

All necessary drugs were avaliable and administared quickly.

I have had 6 pregnancies and have received the injection to prevent the bleeding since the 5th pregnancy.

and sorry to scare but my x boyfriends wife heamorraged after her 3rd birth. It was so bad that she nearly died and he had to take a month off work to look after the kids whilst she recovered!!

It is extremely irresponsible for any mother to deliberately opt to give birth alone we have involved other women to aid the birthing process for thousands of years

My un assisted birth was the best birth I hve had but because I new that everyone was informed who needed to be.

The ambulance man and woman arrived with in minutes of being called and the midwife was there with in 10 mins of her being born

in this time I had walked back to the bedroom,had the cord cut by a proffessional dressed my daughter was chatting to the ambulance crew whilst introducing the children to their new sister.

The midwife came in totally shocked that it had all happened before she arrived and equally shocked that the baby was warm and dressed

I don't mess about.



Every single birth is different even if they go well.

Within 5 mins of giving birth to my youngest son (my 4th prenancy) I was looking at him and his colour changed and he was turning blue

he was suffering from bradicardi (meaning his lungs still had fluid in them) I had pushed him out in 4 mins this meant that he was not squeezed long enough in the birth canal to clear his lungs

I wanted home births and I got them, I did not want my husband in the room with me, I got that|! he was stuck in the hallway on the phone

I got all that I'd wanted but up most in my mind was that at alltimes my babies were as safe as I could get them

Always be flexible and sensible when giving birth the birth is between two people You the mother and the child you are bringing into the world

Safety for both u and your child is the most important thing

I cannot believe that a woman who's mother is a midwife is encouraging a DIY birth.

There are many things that can go wrong b4 during and after the birth

I'm sorry if this sounds very harsh but I just want u to keep yourself and the new baby safe for the sake of yourself and ur family

Please I implore u to make sure that the medics know b4 the baby arrives

I do not think u can be forced out of your house once the ambulance arrives

Its just that u will have someone there to deal everything

It is also a lot to ask of your husband however calm he has been in the past he can do with the support to. He loves u and will inwardly be beside himself to see u in pain not to mention how your children might feel ( it is amazing how children can transfer their mixed emotions of mummy being in pain )

Midwives are there for the labouring mother but a good midwife can keep a father calm and will read when the process is to much for dad to handle giving him something to do like getting a cup of tea or a towel or something else just to distract him long enough that he can gather himself together and be a good support to u once again

As fobeing born in an ambulance my mother gave birth to me in an ambulance and I'm fine

I've been in labour for just over one hour and was driven to hospital I'd of prefered the abulance coz atleast I would of been able to get more comfortable than I was in the car.

please thjink about these things carefully I'm sure u'll have a wonderful homebirth and a more relaxed and certainly a safer one if u inform the appropriate people

Keep baby and U safe 1st and then everything else will fall into place for what u want ultimately we all want our babies to be born as safely as possible.

Good luck and sorry if this has been a little less supportive of DIY babies I have you and your families best interest at heart

good luck and take care xx

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13 Comments

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Vanessa - posted on 04/23/2009

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well......i have just read all this and now i am keen to know how it all went.

how are you vashti? how's your baby?

did you end up birthing at home unassisted?

Helen - posted on 04/22/2009

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I had my baby 20 days a go unassisted, just myself and my husband. It was the best experience i have ever had and should we be blessed with any more children will certainly do it that way again. My first child was born in the uk at home with a midwife there but the whole birth was done by us the midwife just told my husband how to check for the cord round the neck. This time we are in Australia. We didnt call and ambulance or anything as there was no need to. She is healthy and doing well. We took her to the doctors when she was 15 days old for him to write a letter so we can get her birth certificate. Hope all goes well for you.

Kate - posted on 03/25/2009

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I just joined this group and assume baby has been born. I am also assuming everything went beautifully. I had my first - now six months at home (planned) and UC (unplanned). It was the best day of my life - I've never felt more alive and capable. Looking forward to hearing your story. Happy Mamahood!

Melsclan - posted on 03/13/2009

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Just be careful and enjoy the birth I admire the positivity,I had it at all times too I just made all resources aware so I newI could relax

I expected to give birth in 1 & 1/2 hrs on my 3rd birth

I was geared for it ... My daughter took her own sweet time all day!!! 12 hours prepare for anything. children suprise u always, My daughter is 11 now and still takes her own sweet time to do anything.... never ready when we think she is LOL



Good Luck

thinking of u at this exciting time

Vashti - posted on 03/08/2009

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Thankyou Emily, that's exactly how i would wish it to be, i would definitely rather have a midwife but i feel i have no choice other than to do it unassisted. An ambulance nurse told me last week she finds it terrible someone giving birth in the ambulance because its small and a mess, not exactly relaxing especially if someone is telling you to stop pushing when everything in your body is telling you to push.

Vashti - posted on 03/08/2009

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Thankyou Rachel and Melissa, Both your messages encourage and support me in different ways. Baby is due now any day, my midwife knows i want a home birth and said the baby will come quickly this time. I am prepared for anything and the ambulances come very quickly here in australia. I have been reading Sheila Kitzingers books and my mother in law lives in pakistan and had her 5 kids at home, everything was fine for her. I know everyone is different, all my births have been posterior and this one will be too, hard work but never any complications. I won't do it without telling anyone, but i find giving birth simply a natural part of life and lets be honest focusing on the negative is focusing on a smaller percent of what could go wrong, i would rather focus on the positive because more births go right than wrong and just relax. I really appreciate everyone's input and say, thankyou. :)



 

Rachael - posted on 02/20/2009

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I agree, I don't think you need to go to the hospital at all. I am lucky enough to have a mom who is a midwife and don't have to worry about anything. I have several friends who've had UC's and never left the house. Buy a birth kit, get your hubby to do some reading and everything will be fine. This is your fourth baby so it will probably just fall out any way!



Good luck!

Vashti - posted on 02/18/2009

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Thanks Treva, that is so refreshing and encouraging, its exactly what i really would love to do, just relax give it a long feed and dress it etc. I have been having slight contractions since last night but i'm not due till 13 of March. Might just be braxton hicks.



I really appreciate your input and your own experience. :)



 

Treva - posted on 02/17/2009

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Quoting Vashti:

Doing a homebirth alone

We just arrived in Australia from NZ and I am pregnant with my third child. With every child I asked about homebirths but all the midwives were very vague and said there was no one they knew of who did them. Now with this baby due in 4 weeks its the only way again I feel comfortable with, especially since we have no car and no one we know here yet. I really don't fancy hopping into a taxi or an ambulance at the critical point of the labour after waters have broken etc and break all my concentration. It will just stress me out, especially since i want my husband to be with me and the kids will be in and out of hospital room with disaproving looks from drs and nurses. No thankyou, i feel way more comfortable just being home and going through the labour and birth on my own. I told my husband to ring the ambulance once head or whole baby is out.


Your last bit sounds good accept forget rining the ambulance at the critical point.You can just stay home.wait a few hours afterwards and then call the ambulance.Give yourself some time to bond with bubs,Clean up and have a good meal.Once you hit the hospital all heck breaks loose.and delivering in a ambulance not my cup of tea.If you have done it at home with help before it is not such a big leap to go to DIY.I'm planning on a DIY with my next one.

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