Discipline....How to do it the right way?

Stephanie - posted on 01/05/2011 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Ok so by now we alllll know that our 1 year olds are a little sassy, bratty, stubborn, and unresponsive to our "no, no's" and "Get down!!'s"...So my question to you ladies is how do you handle it?
My daughter lovess climbing up on the coffee table and getting into the china cabinet in the kitchen...I cannot tell you how many times I have spanked (lightly Tapped...no abuse here!!) and said no no to the actions that she should not be doing...and I KNOW for a fact that she understands me because she does respond to me, but she giggles and continues doing these things...She knows it's wrong because sometimes she will listen, and other times she is completely unresponsive..(I get that "Forget you Mom" look and turn away every time).
Any advice, suggestions, or solutions to the beginning stages of punishment and discipline for those who are not so well behaved are greatly appreciated! Thanks ladies!!

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Jacquelyn - posted on 01/14/2011

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My daughter is the same way! We give her 3 warnings and then she goes into a pack n play in another room for 1 minute she HATES it but it seems to be working for now. My boys are the same way but same thing but instead of a pack n play in another room we put them in a corner for time out. Brandon has to sit in a square facing the corner and Jeffery stands in the corner hands either behind their back or un their lap for 2 minutes. And with the consitancy even when they do it 20 times over they get it... we just started putting them to bed if they throw a huge tantrum and until they calm down and are quiet for 2 minutes and then they get talked to and told that if they do it again they will get in trouble again. After about 5 times of being in the corner for the same thing we take them to their room for a quiet talk about why they keep getting into trouble "Do you know why you're in trouble?" (Blank stare) "You did ______. You know that's a no no Do you want to be in trouble?" (Shaking head no) "Then you need to stop doing this. It hurts mommy when you don't listen and we have to punish you. Do you want to hurt mommy?" (Shakes head no) "Will you do it again?" (Shakes head no) "Ok but if you do you will be in trouble again, you have to understand that when you do bad things you get in trouble. Understand?" (Nods) "I love you go play and stay away from _____________." That's been working really good now that they are two and I've always explained no matter how it appears on whether they are listening or not... But I always inform them of how it makes me feel and that I love them so that they can understand that there is more then one side to a story and that for every bad dead there is a consequence.

Andrea - posted on 01/14/2011

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My little guy is 13 months.. and its the same thing in our household. He definitely understands way more now. Like your babies, he has selective hearing or listening you would call it. We did notice though that he listens to my husband way better than to me. anyone else notice that with their little ones?? Not sure if this means trouble for later, but I definitely have to change something so that he doesn't take over me in a few years! LOL
Thanks for all the stories!

Darlene - posted on 01/12/2011

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Cynthia, I love it!!! Just as we figure out our kids.....they figure a way around us! :)!

Cynthia - posted on 01/12/2011

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don't laugh but i started warnings. i come down to her level and tell her "no" and why (that goes right over her head), she then gets placed with her toys. the 2nd time, she usually gets upset and speaks over me (that i really do not like... and don't pwave your finger, she is now doing it to me) after the 3rd time she goes into the exersaucer as punishment (she not hates it and rocks it as if she could make it bounce off). works for now, however, she has learned that as she rocks it, she can move around :(

Darlene - posted on 01/06/2011

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My son is doing the exact same thing. "Come here" gets a laugh and a view of his backside.
If he's doing something he 'knows' he's not supposed to be doing (and it's not dangerous) I ignore him and give start playing something else very intently, commenting on what I'm doing. Most of the time, he'll come to see what I'm doing and then I give him lots of attention for doing 'the right thing'. If it's something dangerous, I change my tone of voice (not the volume) and 'reprimand' him. Sometimes it works, sometimes I have to take away what he's playing with (the toy he's thrown, or banging the wall with) or move him to a different spot.
Right now, I think they are at the stage where they want a reaction, good or bad, it doesn't matter. Though I have no issues with spanking (done right), I think at this age it's still seen as attention.
Just know, the laughing at you stage does pass, eventually (my oldest went through it). I have to keep reminding myself of this or I may lose my mind! :)!

Tameka - posted on 01/06/2011

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I got sick of my daughter constantly opening draws then getting her fingers jammed so I bought stoppers from the local hardware store that prevent her from opening them. I told her 'no' until I was blue in the face and moved her away from the draws but it never stopped her. Now that she can't open the draws she loses intrest quick. Perhaps try something like that for your china cabinet?

I personally don't smack my children because I am trying to teach them it's wrong to hit so it's somewhat hypocritical of me to hit them. Each to their own, though. Plus I found it doesn't work on my children so a new discipline approach had to be found. What I found for my 1 year old is that it's all good and well to remove them from the place you don't want them to be but you had to give them something to do that is even better to prevent them from returning. If my daughter is in a particularly cheeky mood I give her a couple of crackers and set her down in front of the book case. She loves to read and enjoys scattering the books as she looks through them. Picking them up again is a small price to pay to have her out from under my feet while I prepare dinner!

Sarah - posted on 01/05/2011

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My daughter tends to do the things like that when she wants a little extra attention. Of course she is the youngest of four and attention is something that is sometimes lacking. Other times she does it because she is just testing us.. like "how serious are they?" If we are serious we always get up and take her away (her favorite is clearing the CD tower) but if it's something that isn't such a big deal she quickly gets bored. It's not much fun and doesn't always get bette (we are starting to have to re-teach my 3 year old because he is also going through the testing phase again). It does get easier, but starting time-outs works and at a year old it's not that long of a time, but they learn that sometimes the attention they get isn't the kind they wanted. Good luck.

Elfrieda - posted on 01/05/2011

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Yes, they are starting to get independent! I remember how shocked I was two weeks ago when my son crawled over to the door on the fireplace where the ash comes out and he opened it. (a BIG no-no, since not only would that make a mess, if he does it when there are hot embers, I don't even want to imagine the pain he would be in.) My husband said "NO, don't touch." and pulled him away and gave him a toy. The little guy crawled right back and looked at us, grinned, and touched the door again! I couldn't believe it! And never mind teaching him how to be gentle. He pets the cat nicely for a minute and then gets too excited and hits it, and the only way I can think to remedy this is to slap his hand, but that seems kind of stupid, since I'm trying to teach him not to hit.

We're taking a parenting class at our church. It's one evening a week for 18 weeks. People we know have benefited from it a lot. I'm excited to learn new ways of parenting, I guess that's why I'm blathering on! My parents did a good job, and so did my husband's, but we'd like to do even better, that's why we're taking the course.

Maybe you should look into something like that, too.

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