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Don't want to hear "is your baby sleeping through the night"

Sarah - posted on 06/07/2010 ( 18 moms have responded )

I'm sure for some (maybe even most) lucky mums their bubs are sleeping through the night by 6 months, and the really lucky ones are going down for 12 straight hours.

But I have a 2.5 year old boy and a 6 month old and neither slept through by 6 months. My little boy took 9.5 months to reach this milestone and still wakes 3 out of 7 nights and just wants a little reassurance before falling straight back to sleep.

I've done everything possible to get my little girl sleeping through and she just can't. She gets hungry at 4am and after a week of letting her cry on and off for 1.5 hours we're both exhausted so I've reverted back to giving her a bottle and she gulps it down! Then goes back to sleep. 10 minutes and we've got peace again and both can sleep.

Maybe not all babies are capable of sleeping through the night by 6 months and I wish people would stop asking me "is she sleeping through yet?". It has given me VERY unrealistic expectations that she should be sleeping through.

So no more pressure on her or me. As long as she settles quickly then we'll keep doing what we're doing. She's a healthy weight, has started solids and loves to eat. So maybe she's just hungry from all the growing and playing she's doing. She's the happiest little munchkin ever and even at 4am melts my heart with the amazing smile she gives me when my head appears above her in the cot.

Would love to hear from other mums that want to throttle the next person who asks them "so is she/he sleeping through yet?". :-)

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Helen - posted on 06/20/2010

Yeah my little one naps twice a day for 20 minutes. "Catnap" is the only word he understands :S But he too is happy and healthy, so I dont mind. As long as he gets his rest at night. Some babies dont need much sleep, some do. I was told that around 6 months they only need 2 hours worth of naps in a 10 hour day.... Well my dear little boy is well off the mark there :(

Tracie - posted on 06/20/2010

as for naps? Well....my oldest hated naps and even as a baby rarely took them.....my son loved to sleep! between his long night sleeps, he would take good, long naps throughout the day. My 6 month old is channeling her big sister and is not a nap fan! maybe 2-3 a day for 20 minutes each???? She is happy, and healthy though so that is obviously all she needs! ;-D

Tracie - posted on 06/20/2010

My little girl goes to bed between 9 and 10 pm and wakes up around 2-3 some nights, and 4-5 on other nights before she wakes to be fed and goes right back to sleep. Her big brother (14) was sleeping 12 hours by this point, and her big sister (17) was sleeping for about 8.....every baby is different so there is no 'normal'...however, I agree with you...it can be an annoying question! ;-D I just tell people that she sleeps through her night just fine. ;-D I value my sleep so I figure that if she is waking because she is hungry then I will feed her so that she knows 1) that we are there for her whenever she needs us, 2) that it's ok to wake up to be hungry, and 3) so that I can go back to sleep as I like to sleep too!! ;-D
Every baby is different.....and as much as I might like her to be as good of sleepers as her older siblings were....that's not where she is at yet....she will be.....when she is ready! ;-D
good luck

Jennifer - posted on 06/16/2010

This post has made my morning! With my first son, I was one of those Mom's with the amazing 12 hour/night sleeper with 4 hours/day naps. It's been another story with our second. He started to sleep longer perionds by 2 months and by 4 months he was doing 10-12 hours a night. But then something changed, and I don't know what. Now he's back to 3-4 hours spacing. He starts his night feed at 7:00 and is normally asleep by 8:00. He'll wake anywhere from 11-1:00 am for a quick feed. Then he's normally up within 3 hours for more. So most nights I'm still getting up 3 times, 2 if I'm lucky. I too have tried solids and have had no success. I've tried formula at night and that doesn't seem to work either. At this point I don't know if it's "need" or "habit" but either way I'm so tired! I totally agree that there's too much pressure to have your baby sleeping through the night. Even with my first, I'd tell people that he's just a sleeper, it was his personality not anything I'd done "right". I'm so tired of feeling like I'm doing something wrong. Like any of us would opt for no consecutive amount of sleep for month after month. I'm going to give him a dreamfeed tonight to see if it helps, but I'm not going to get my hopes up.

Katie - posted on 06/16/2010

My two year old slep great until her baby sister came home. Now shes up a couple times a night, and Zoie doesnt sleep more than an hour at a time. She doesnt take naps and she eats enough to keep her full. It drive me crazy when people are like it must be getting easier now. Hell no it isnt. Its getting harder. IM going on about a year of not sleeping through a night, because we all know those last few months of pregnancy it was impossible to sleep too

Helen - posted on 06/16/2010

A dreamfeed is when your bub is asleep at night and you feed them a bottle or breast when they're fast asleep. The trick is not to wake them. But even if they wake up a little, most will fall asleep again while feeding.

Carline - posted on 06/16/2010

whats a dreamfeed?

Emily - posted on 06/11/2010

I hear ya! Is it just Western culture that gets so worked up over this? My first didn't sleep through til 18 months, and my second is now 6 months old-last night he slept from 7pm-4:45am-where he woke for a brief feeding and went back to sleep. I was thrilled, because he is already way further ahead than my first son on the sleep thing. They're all different, and I think our culture puts too much priority/pressure on sleep. yes, it's important and we all crave it, but there are SO many other factors involved in parenting.

Helen - posted on 06/11/2010

I have been asked the "Is he sleeping through yet" question since my son was about 2 months old. Geez! Give the little fella a break will ya?! He's too busy with growing to think about sleeping for 12 hours!

Anyhoo, my son did not sleep through for the first 5 months. He too would wake up at 4am starving. I then decided to give him a "dreamfeed" at 10pm and that makes him sleep til 7am. Not the 12 hours I would love to have, but that's ok. I pray that one day he wont need the dreamfeed anymore and I can put him to bed at 7 and he will wake up 12 hours later. One can only dream, right?

I think it also depends on your definition of "sleeping through". One person will think 8 hours is sleeping through, while another person reckons 12 hour is sleeping through. I personally think 8-10 hours is sleeping through. 12 Hours is a little unrealistic if you also expect them to have long naps during the day as well.

Katherine - posted on 06/09/2010

OK so my daughter who is now 16 never slept and when I say never I mean it. Well she would sleep for about 2-4 hrs a day. This continued until she went to school which helped exhaust her. The reason I think she didn't sleep was the whole self soothing issue. She wouldn't suck her thumb or fingers or use a pacifier. She used the bottle instead and when she stopped getting bottles it was disney movies (that's right I slept at 70 min intervals). Finally she was satisfied just climbing into bed with me, but she was a very restless sleeper and would constantly wake up. On the other hand my son, almost 6 months, has slept well and I believe that it's because he sucks his thumb. I've heard him up through the night but then i hear him sucking his thumb and he falls back to sleep. The big difference between them was that Elora used the bottle as comfort and Rhys uses his thumb.

Lebu - posted on 06/09/2010

SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT!!! i wish!!
My oldest is going to be 3 in august and the baby has just reached 6 months...neither sleep through the night...Never have and im thinking never will.
A friend of mine called the other day and asked me this stupid question...bcoz apparently her 2 girls (20 months and 2 months) both sleep through the night and is its just so BLOODY amazing!!! im sure it is AMAZING to be able to Sleep. listening to her chat away so happy and full of life while drinking my 10th cup of tea/coffee!! needless to say i will not be calling her anytime soon. she said both of hers have a dummy so maybe that is a factor??!!

Sherri - posted on 06/09/2010

Once again Sarah, you hit the nail on the head! My son has been eating solids for 2 months; he started on cereal at 4 months. And he has been on veggies for 4 weeks now. Just yesterday we started veggies at lunch, in addition to the veg he already gets at breakfast and suppertime....big surprize, no change! He too will sleep when HE decides he wants to sleep, and not because of the food in his lil belly but because he is ready ;*)

Tiffany - posted on 06/08/2010

Hi guys, are any of you using a dummy at night time?? i know it will probably be a pain in the ass when i have to take it off her, but my daughter does sleep through most of the night, but always wakes around 4, but as soon as i put her dummy in, shes back to sleep, it seems like she just wants that soothing.

Sarah - posted on 06/08/2010

Personally, I want to add "when she/he starts solids they'll be sure to sleep through" as the other big lie! It didn't make a difference to my 2.5 year old son and although I've only started solids 2 weeks ago with my 6 month old, doesn't seem to have change things. Just given her a tummy upset! The next magic milestone is "when she starts crawling and moving around she'll be tired and sleep through". NO, when she's damn well ready she'll sleep through! :-)

Shelley - posted on 06/08/2010

Your telling me! It seems everyone I come in contact with asks the same thing even though they had already asked me the same question just a few days ago...My daughter will be 6 mths next week and does not sleep thru the night. She goes to bed around 8pm every night then she's up every 2 hrs until we actually get up between 7-8am. Each time she wakes I give her a bottle and she usually downs 5-6oz each time. Not to mention she started teething at 5 mths so that too may have something to do with it. My Doctor keeps telling me, she's still a baby and she's going to wake but when you start her on solids she should sleep better. Hmmm...I'm not so sure?

Sherri - posted on 06/08/2010

I agree Sarah 100%!! My little man was 6 months yesterday and he is nowhere near sleeping through the night. He is actually on the extreme and wakes 5-10 times a night crying, He goes down between 730 and 830 and wont stay in the crib past 6am. I only give him one bottle a night now and that is usually around 1am. Otherwise he usually just wants a little comforting pat on the back and his nummy and goes back to sleep.
Mommy is tired enough during the day...one more Does he sleep through the night yet and my head might pop off! lol

Francesca - posted on 06/07/2010

101

I breastfeed, and at 6 months it's totally normal for a breastfed baby to still wake after 5-6 hours. I imagine it's "normal" for a lot of formula-fed kids too.

On the other hand, my first daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was 18 months old, and it required gradually weaning her off of night feedings before she would. First I replaced the breast with a bottle. Then I replaced the bottle with just holding her and patting her until she slept again. (That was the hardest part-- she would cry for a bottle for half an hour sometimes.) Then after she stopped crying for a bottle when she woke, I would wait a little longer before going to her, and she started falling back to sleep without my intervention.