Help! My child won't let me put him down!

Nicole - posted on 07/17/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My son is horrible! He rotten an idk how to break him.. when i put him down half of the time he just screams an screams an he does the same when my mom an husband have him, idk how to break him of it, we started just sitting him down an letting him cry for 30mins at a time, we dont no how else to show him that we wont pick him up every time he cries.. any ideas!?

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Angela - posted on 07/18/2010

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Oh Hun :)



It sounds like your having a rough time at the moment.



But please be reassured this is normal for many children and although exhausting it is just your baby just loving you so much !



So... how to manage it?



With Cohen (my 7 month old) I started with lessons in object permanence. As your baby learns that things continue to exist even when he can’t see them, he’ll feel better about letting you out of his sight. Games like peek-a-boo and hide-and-seek will help him understand this phenomenon.



Practicing quick, safe separations. Throughout the day, create situations of brief separation. When you go into another room (leaving baby on the floor), whistle, sing, or talk to your baby so he knows you’re still there, even though he can’t see you.

I would always tell him I was just going to the kitchen, toilet etc and then say "I told you I'd be back" with a big smile and a hug when I get back.



I have increased the time away and now I can leave him playing with some safe toys in his cot while I hang out the washing - (I just take the monitor with me to be sure he is okay)



My husband wasn't very confident with our son and got frustrated when he cried and cried and how Cohen would stop as soon as I picked him up.

So I encouraged my hubby to play with us on the floor and after a few minutes I would get up and say I'm just going ... i'll be back etc and the 2 of them would keep playing - initially Cohen would fret a little but after a few days he didn't notice I had gone ha ha... he now loves playtime with Daddy.



We did the same thing with meal times because Cohen wouldn't let any one else feed him. So hubby sat beside me to start with, then we progressed to turn taking with the spoon (making a big deal with lots of smiles and praise when Cohen took it from Dad!). After a few days I just stood behind hubby and eventually added the "I''m just going... Daddy will feed you and I will be back in a minute etc.



We did the same with the bedtime changing routine - hubby watching, then shared, then me watching, then me leaving etc



It did take time but now my husband can happily do many other things with Cohen and doesn't worry - they are quite happy together - and I get a bit of time out!



It is still a different story with others we don't see often - but I'm finding that if the new person gets on the floor and plays with us for a few minutes after a short while Cohen has no issues with them picking him up and I can walk away.



You have a lovely bond with your little one and he is looking to you to learn which situations are safe for him.



I really hope these ideas help you out and you get a break too.



All the best x

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Crystal - posted on 07/20/2010

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I am the same way with Maddyson (she will be 7 months an the 31st). I am at a loss too, I get frusterated, but sometimes enough is enough! She NEVER seems to be happy unless she is held. I could use some advice on this topic too!!!

Maggie - posted on 07/19/2010

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We've been trying many methods with our 7 month for about 2 months now, he always wants mums cuddles. Screams for other ppl too. Hes able to sit unassisted but if he cant touch me if he wants watch out its tanty time. The only time he is quiet is if he has snacks infront of him. I have learnt that he gets bored of his whinging after about 5 mins of me saying no and will do his own thing for about half an hour

Nicole - posted on 07/19/2010

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I've tried alotta that, I work 3:30-11:30 every night an my husband works 12-9, it's just not easy, I love my little booger to death but even when I get down in the floor an play with him he screams, he just wants to be held, right now he's sitting in my lap watching Franklin an is as happy as can be, when I put him down is a diff story.. I'm gonna try some of yalls methods the way yall do them an see if it helps.. All advice is welcome! Thanks for what I already got!

Cecily - posted on 07/17/2010

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my son, 7 months, did that at 3 months. i played with him on the floor and entertained him. we bought an exersaucer to keep him busy. also i bought a mei tai carrier so that if he wanted to be carried, i could just tie him to me and wear him when i need to get things done. maybe he just needs or wants someone to play with him. my son has gotten better since we got an exersaucer and the carrier.

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