Need advice my baby sleeps for two hours and wakes up.
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@ Amy - I'm not sure how old your child is but if you think an 8 month old baby is manipulative you're crazy. You’re baby is just learning object permanence (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Object_perm... ) right now which can take up to 2 years for a child to completely understand. Your child doesn’t understand that mom is just in the other room right now let alone how manipulation works! Here’s a good article to read if you truly believe that an 8 month old child is manipulating you: http://www.cleverparents.com/2007/12/08/...
It makes me so sad when people go around giving completely outdated and terrible advice like this. YOUR BABY IS NOT MANIPULATING YOU – YOUR BABY NEEDS YOU WHEN THEY CRY - IT’S THEIR ONLY FORM OF COMMUNICATION!
@ The Original Poster:
CIO is a completely outdated and terrible practice to put a baby through. I suggest using the No Cry Sleep Solution to gradually wean your child off the breast and to avoid CIO by all means. Here's a great link about CIO: http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/...
Many parents think about themselves in this situation. I totally understand you need sleep, I totally understand you want your old life back and you want the baby to be convenient for you but I hate to be the one to break it to everyone that YOU’RE RASING A HUMAN BEING NOT AN INCONVENIENCE. My daughter is 7 & ½ months old and in the beginning only slept 30 minute stretches, now she’s going about 2 hours (sometimes 3 if I’m lucky) and she’s never cried it out because I just can’t do it. I wouldn’t want to be left there to cry so why should I leave her there to cry? We bedshare (safely) since we’re breastfeeding and I feel extremely well rested in the morning even though she wakes up 5-6 times to nurse because we sleep in-sync. Great link on The Science of Sharing Sleep (bedsharing safely): http://www.drmomma.org/2009/11/science-o...
Let’s turn this around for the sake of the good ‘ole should I let my baby CIO or not debate. How would YOU feel if something was wrong with you in the middle of the night and the only way you can communicate with your parents is to cry and then your cry goes unanswered? YOU would probably feel pretty upset then give up because you feel abandoned and helpless that no one is coming so you give up hope. That's what you teach your child with CIO. That there is no value in their cry, they have to "self-sooth", and their parents aren't there for them when they need them. When your kid understands logic and reason (which at 8 months old - they DO NOT) then you can talk to them about how night time is sleep time and there's no more nursing at night but until then I strongly suggest you get a copy of the No Cry Sleep Solution (free PDF with some tips here: http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/links/P...)
The more you “give-in” to your baby’s needs when they demand it the more independent they will be in the long run because you have built their confidence in themselves for being able to properly communicate with you and their confidence in your relationship to fulfill their needs. When kids are “acting out”, “being manipulative” or “being bad” their “bad” behavior is triggered by a need that has gone unmet. Once the need has been fulfilled the “bad” behavior will stop. Why do you think you have to “retrain” a baby by letting them CIO all over again whenever you have a regression from going on vacation, spending the weekend at grandma’s, moving, etc.? That’s because they still need you to go to sleep and you have to retrain them that their cries at night mean nothing and they have to learn how to deal with their needs by themselves when they’re far too young for that.
And remember!!! Babies cry for a reason and remember you're raising a human being not an inconvenience.
I’m not trying to be mean or snarky but please PLEASE consider how your child feels as they are laying there crying for you and you never come. How would you feel? Really, how would you feel? Please read all of this and visit those links I provided because there’s extremely valuable information there. We need to raise more empathetic, emotionally stable and well-rounded kids. Letting them cry so we get a little more sleep at night is not going to help us get there.
Amy - posted on 08/04/2010
Well that is your opinion, but the fact that my baby now sleeps through the night proves that there was nothing wrong with her to begin with! Just because your child cries or wants something..it does not mean it is good for you to always give in! You will have a long road ahead of you if you use that kind of reasoning! And your baby learns that they can manipulate you just by crying. Babies are smarter than we give them credit for!
Stephanie - posted on 08/02/2010
Are you breastfeeding? If so that is the normal time for baby to digest bm and be hungry again. Have you started solids? If not should definitely start...MY BG is almost 8 months old and has 3 meals of solids a day...it definitely helped her sleep longer at night! Teething? My BG is waking up more often due to her teething pain...so i have introduced baby orajel...works wonders!! (up to 7 hrs at night at a time!! YAY) Baby sleeping in own room? Noises around them in the middle of the night make them restless. Once they are awake they want to eat again to go back to sleep.
Hope this helps...Good Luck!
Melissa - posted on 08/12/2010
When my baby was born we supplemented with formula on top of b-feeding. She would sleep anywhere between 7-11 hours at night starting about 3 months old. Then about 4 months she became inconsistent with sleeping, we were still supplementing with formula but she woke every 3-4 hours, with a crazy 7-9 hour night once ina while. Now at 8 months old, she sleeps at most 4-6 hours at a time, waking usually 1-2x's a night. Also, to note, she currently has 7 teeth and is working on the 8th, with about 3 other teeth constantly showing they are next. One night about a few weeks ago I was exhausted more than usual and I fell asleep after putting the baby to sleep by 7:30-8pm. Let's just say I had the most restful 10 hour sleep ever with no wake up...well because I forgot to turn on the monitor!! I felt HORRIBLE! But when I went to her room she was happy and smiling at me, and b-fed better than ever. She napped better than ever that morning, and afternoon too with happy wakeups. I don't reccomend doing this, since it was just an accident I forgot to turn on the monitor. But I can't help but wonder if her waking up and me going to her through the night is more a "me" issue than it was for her. I really don't like CIO by any means, but this had me wondering. Note: I haven't done it since this happened because I feel too guilty, or too tired enough to let this happen again.
Tammy - posted on 04/22/2014
my son is 19 years old and wakes me up 3 times at night to get the bottle (as i have just weaned him off the breast - a little late i admit). should i put rice ceareal in the bottle to make him more full? he needs to get a full night sleep because he has to drive his younger brother 45 minutes to school in the morning.
Sorry it took me so long to reply it totally got lost in my emails! I downloaded a white noise MP3 and made the CD myself (I just googled it to find a white noise track). I also found a bunch of other free MP3s like a babbling brooke with crickets that we use for night time sleep for background noise. It works great!
Another amazing book to read (or any other of this Doctor's books) is: The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp
It comes in a DVD, too! Very usefull information there! Mostly useful from babies younger than 6 months so The Happiest Toddler on the Block might be better for older kids.
Try a white noise CD while your driving, happy tunes, classical, or whatever makes the baby happy while your driving. My kid also HATED the car seat from day one. I mean the ride home from the hospital usually would take 20 minutes but it took about 40 because we kept stopping so I could nurse her and try to calm her down.
What also worked wonders for us was switching her out of the "bucket" seat (the Evenflow bucket seat that locks into the stroller) over to a Radian convertible car seat. Absolutely no more tears and bad car rides after the switch unless she's overtired. Now, I make sure she has a full belly, a couple safe toys, a mirror to see herself in (and I can see her), and our white noise CD in the CD player just in case I need it. She passes out to the white noise CD because it recreates the sounds of the womb (whooshing of your heart, lungs, digestion, etc.).
You don't have to do CIO in your car either! It takes a bit to figure out what works for your baby and try everything you can. Some kids simply out grow it, too.
Skye - posted on 08/13/2010
Amy i believe in what u say is true 2 i believe children that age already no how 2 manipulate aswell my son will be sittin in the loungeroom floor playin happily i go 2 walk out and he screams cause he no's that im gonna say whats wrong or pick him up my son has done the outdated method of sleeping since he was a baby and he doesnt seem traumatised by it and he sleeps through the nigh tsometimes sleeps 12 hours hes happy healthy not once been sick and i dont think of him as being an inconvenience.
Kim - posted on 08/11/2010
My little girl went to sleep at 10pm and would wake every 2 hours then eventually woke up at 9am. She'd wake have half an ounce of milk then go straight back to sleep. Ive just got her into a routine, i feed her tea at 5pm then she has a bath at 8pm then she has some weetabix after her bath then i take her into her room and settle her in there, she either has her bottle to go to sleep with or a cuddle her. Iv found that this really works she now goes 4 - 5 hours and if she wakes in the night i give her water instead of milk as the health vistor told me babies can get into a routine of waking at night for milk as a comfort thing. I also found that if she went to sleep in her own room rather than in the living room she would sleep so much better.
Hope this helps
Kristal - posted on 08/11/2010
At this age, I really don't think your daughter is hungry. If you're feeding her adequately during the day, she should be able to go at least 8 hours without needing to be fed. I had the same problem when my daughter was around 5 months. I bought this book... The Sleep Lady's Good Night, Sleep Tight: Gentle Proven Solutions to Help Your Child Sleep Well and Wake Up Happy. I kid you not, by the 3rd day my daughter was sleeping 10-11 hours straight.
Not knowing your specific situation, I'm going to assume that she is waking because she knows you're going to hold and feed her. Babies are very smart. She will continue her actions as long as you keep giving her the same reactions.
I hope everything works out for you.
Angela - posted on 08/10/2010
Sounds like your little one has a healthy attachment to you :)
I couldn't let my little one cry - sorry but I jst couldn't do it.
But I can understand that it is exhausting as he has developed some difficult sleep associations.
Does he or did he have acid reflux? I am not sure from your post. If so then lying flat could/may be painful - get that checked out first.
As I mentioned in my first post I use "the new contented little baby" by Gina Ford.
(she has a website www.contentedbaby.com )
My friend used it when she had, had enough of having to sleep with her 9 month old daughter otherwise she would scream - she slept on her own after 3 days and my friend could leave the room after a week !
She doesn't use CIO but for older babies with difficult sleep associations she uses a variation of it.
It is quite a structured routine (covers eating and sleeping and other stuff) and I didn't think I would like it but trust me it works.
I have used it from newborn and my son has slept through the night pretty much since 6 weeks old.
There are a few good routines out there so have a look at your local library and read up on a few to find one you like.
Good luck xx
Katie - posted on 08/10/2010
I have this problem too except my son just wants to be held all the time...the doctor tells us to let him cry it out and after about a week it should get better.
I feel so bad though and sometimes when he cries really hard he starts breathing kind of funny, but we got that checked out a few times by a few different doctors and they all said hes getting enough oxygen and theres nothing wrong he just gets really upset (and it is possibly connected to acid reflux), but it is still scary when he does it...
so would you let him cry it out if you were in my situation??? its just getting so hard staying awake most of the night to hold him and everyone keeps telling me it is better for him to get used to sleeping on his own now rather than later and believe me I would love for him to get used to that too!
Amy - posted on 08/05/2010
I agree! You know your baby best!! Your mother-instincts tell you that the cry means the she needs something, then you know what is best for your baby!!! Every baby is different. Mine is just so stubborn and loves to get her way. I think i spoiled her too much when she was younger....haha
User - posted on 08/05/2010
my son wakes up at night but never to eat usually he wakes for a bit and plays then he goes back to sleep. he gets a bottle about an hour before bedtime and its an 8 ounce bottle. An hour before he has a bottle eats solids foods. What I did when he was a couple months younger is whenever he woke up at night I would give him a pacifier instead of a bottle so he would get used to not eating at night....then eventually it worked and now he doesnt wake up to eat at night. Maybe try some other soothing techniques instead of resorting to feeding because they are old enough now not to be feeding at night and so often. Remember these are just suggestions...do whatever works best for you!
Gina - posted on 08/04/2010
Never said she wasnt smart...the cio method does not work my daughter is relentless and would just keep on crying....i think she is genuinely hungry, its not like she wakes i give her the bottle and she takes 2 sips and falls asleep she will always drink her full 4 ounces....each to their own right, what works for some dosnt always work for others
Amy - posted on 08/04/2010
I had the same problem. my baby woke up every two hours every night to breast feed. i gets so hard and exhausting!! make sure you are giving your baby solids at least three times a day...because they need it! I talked to my doctor, and she said that by this age when they wake up in the middle of the night THEY ARE NOT HUNGRY!! They are simply just used to the pattern of eating like this. It is A HABIT that you have to break. It only took two nights for me to break this habit with my baby. The doctor said to let the baby cry and learn to get herself back to sleep without eating! It worked AMAZINGLY! She got the hang of it sooo fast....just reassure your baby that you are there, but you are not feeding him/her until morning! Now my baby sleeps through the night every night. I put her down at eight, give her one last breastfeeding at 10:30, and then she sleeps until seven! I wish I did this sooner!
...and remember, when she "cries it out", there IS NOTHING WRONG!! She is just angry because her usually habits are being disrupted!! She is not going to be permanently damaged by learning to soother herself back to sleep. In fact, she will be more damaged in the long run if she does not learn to soothe herself to sleep. I wish someone told me this a long time ago....so I hope it helps you too!! No one likes to hear their baby cry...but remember that is better for them in the long run!
Belinda - posted on 08/04/2010
My little girl is up at least 5 times a night too. The annoying part is if I give her her paci she goes back to sleep. I dont have it in me to let her cry it out I tried it once and shes stubborn she just keeps going untill she gets so worked up she cant breath. But I really need some sleep. If you find something that works let me know
Angela - posted on 08/02/2010
Hi there ;)
Stephanie has asked some good questions - it would be helpful to know the answers esp Breast feeding and solids.
I am assuming your little girl is the same age as my boy?? around 7-8 months??
If breastfeeding (and on solids) then check your supply. I breast feed and increased my supply by expressing a little after each feed.
Your little one should definitely be having some complementary solids as well.
I am wondering - Is this a new problem? If not it could just be a habit from the early stage and she is comfort feeding rather than hungry it may mean replacing with cool boiled water.
Does she cry when she wakes? If not then just leave her she may re-settle herself. Occasionally my boy will wake in the night and play in his cot and as long as I leave him he goes back to sleep. If I go in he wants to play and feed etc
The other thing I would suggest is to find a routine that structures sleeping and feeding.
I use "the new contented little baby" by Gina Ford but there are other good ones like the baby whisperer.
Is this the pattern throughout the day as well ? As too much sleep during day means baby is not tired enough to sleep through the night - general rule 45min-1 hour morn and 2 hours in arvo.
I hope this helps
All the best xx
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