Need Help With 8 Month Not Sleeping At Night

[deleted account] ( 29 moms have responded )

Hi ladies...I have a question to see if anyone is having the same prob that I am having with their babies. My son normally goes down to bed between 9:30 10:00 and then has been waking up during the night screaming, So I give him a 4oz bottle to put him back to sleep.....Well when I go to put him in his crib he wakes back up screaming so I pick him back up and let him sleep with my husband and I are I know its bad but I just really don't know what to do. I am a first time mother and his peds just tells me to let him cry but he will cry for like an hour or two and I just can't do that. Thanks for listen and I hope someone can help me with some things to do....Thanks!!!

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Tonya - posted on 09/05/2010

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I do not agree with letting a baby cry it out!! I feel if the baby needs to be close to you than you should not deprive the baby of it. When they are newborns they spend so much time in our arms and to just assume they should be sleeping alone is absurd!

My son will not sleep in his crib. He was for a little while , I would put him in his bed at 8pm and he would fall asleep. He know will not fall asleep unless he is next to me. This all started when he started teething. So, I tried geeting him to sleep and then putting him in his crib. Well, the minute he hits the mattress he is wide aswake and will NOT go back to sleep unless he is in my bed.

I do not mind him sleeping with me and do not care what others think. However, I do have two dog and my boyfriend so our bed is crowded lol! So, I have come up with a plan to try!! I am going to move his crib into my room and see if he will sleep in it if it is in my room. If he does I will give it a couple weeks so he can get use to his bed. Then I will move it back to his room and camp out on his floor until he gets use to his crib being in his room at least a couple of days. If all goes well I will move out of his roomand bac into my own bed. I rather take these extra steps even though they are inconvenient rather than letting him cry!!

Robin - posted on 09/10/2010

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It's been well documented that allowing babies to "cry it out" repeatedly can cause lasting psychological/psychosocial damage. As hard as it can be for you to lose sleep night after night, it's part of the choice you made in becoming a parent. Fact is: babies cry for a reason. Whether that is discomfort (wet/messy diapers), hunger, lonliness or boredom, what they need in EVERY one of these scenarios is to know that you are there to take care of their needs. Babies that don't cry aren't "good babies", they are babies that have had their spirits broken because they know that no matter what they do...you aren't going to be there to help them. Is that really the life lesson that you want to instill in a child at this age? That they can't depend on or trust that the people around them will meet their needs as they arise?

My 8 1/2 month old has started waking at night recently too, and as frustrating as it is for me to only get 2-4 hours of sleep at night, I know that I made the choice to have a baby...and that's just part of it! Normally, I'll let her fuss for about 5 mins at night to see if she'll soothe herself back to sleep. If she doesn't, I'll try patting her bottom and rubbing her back to let her know I'm there to help her settle down. If, after 5-15 mins of this, she still isn't asleep or calmed down, only then do I pick her up and start the system checks: pants, feeding, illness, teething, etc... Once those are done, I'll either lay on the couch with her on my chest and pat her back to sleep, or rock in the chair with her until she does.

Normally, she only does this for a few nights and then she's back to sleeping through the night. Most of the time she really is wanting a 4-6 oz bottle. Chances are, she's going through a growth spurt and just needs a little extra food for a few days. Feeding your child isn't providing them a "crutch"...it's taking care of their basic physiological needs! To not do this is to neglect your child...and shame on those mothers that do that! If your child isn't hungry, they simply won't take the bottle/breast. Babies, unlike adults, aren't prone to eat when not hungry. If you're doing something like allowing them to "cry it out", and it's leaving you feeling guilty, there's a reason for it. Your conscience knows it's not the right thing to do, even if your mind is arguing and yelling "but I need to sleep". You won't regret taking care of your infant's needs!

Tameka - posted on 08/30/2010

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Just to let you know that the cry it out method doesn't always work. At the beginning of August my paeditatrician told me it's ok to let my baby cry to sleep. He warned me that she'll cry for around three hours the first night and then it will gradually become less and less. Within seven days and ten at the most she'll put herself to bed and stay asleep for the night.

For nineteen days my daughter would would be put to bed at 7pm and would scream until approx 3:30-4:00am. I would check on her every 20-30mins but every time I left the room she would cry harder. After perservering for longer than I thought I could I stopped and reverted back to my old ways.

I just rocked my daughter asleep again and it took around 10 mins for her to fall asleep. I know she will wake between 3-6 times tonight and I'll only get about 4 hours sleep but it is certainly a step up from before.

I just want to let you know that if you try this approach be prepared for anything because it might not go as planned.

Janice - posted on 09/10/2010

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Mine does too. It doesn't bother me to much. That's what babies do. Especially when they are teething, reaching new milestones, like crawling, standing, etc..

And yes, Harvard did a study recently that proved that leaving a baby to cry alone, even for 30 min., can cause lasting physiological problems.

[deleted account]

Hi i totally understand not being able to just let them cry it out. My opinion, after having two children, is that you just go with the flow. Whatever you have to do to get some sleep for awhile is just fine. What i have done is, when i can afford to lose some sleep, is to keep going back in to put them down. After awhile they learn that there is nothing to be afraid of. It is always easier said than done to just let them cry it out. You are the mom so you know what is best.

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Krystal - posted on 09/28/2010

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My son woke every 2 hours i was getting so tired i didnt know what to do so i looked up sleep sense program and the advice was to let him scream. It was the hardest thing i have ever had to do but now he goes to bed at 6.30pm and wakes at 6am it is great. maybe walk away from it somehow so you dont have to hear your baby scream. DONT feed your baby though cos then they will wake up wanting a feed. Also if you do want to make sure baby is ok go in there quielty and check then go back out. It truley does work

Aneta - posted on 09/25/2010

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i think you should work on putting him down for the night sleep as early as you can. I he has transitioned to 2 naps/day, then ideally he should be in bed by 7 - 7.30pm. Also introduce him to a transition object, that can be a stuffed toy. It will help him cope with separation anxiety.

Stephanie - posted on 09/23/2010

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my son does the same thing an i do the same thing my son wont stop cryin unless hes with us an we dont let him sleep wit us all the time so i donno wut do ither

Iyobosa - posted on 09/23/2010

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My LO has ben sleeping on our bed since he was 3 mnths now and cant stop him cos he just wont stay in his cot.he also wakes up like 4 times at night,so i guess we re in the same shoes

Kara - posted on 09/15/2010

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Put a crib spiral toy or light show mobile on the crib to keep him occupied till he falls asleep. Also, try leaving the window open in his room for a while, and then putting him down. Thew fresh air is good at making them even more tired so they go to sleep earlier.

Renae - posted on 09/12/2010

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Hi Jessica,
My daughter was the same for a while to the point that we ended up at sleep clinic. It turned out that she was overtired which was causing her night time sleep to be extremely unsettled.

We now make sure she has her dinner, then bath routine etc and is in bed by no later than 7-7.30pm at night. She still wakes up occassionally but it is usually just because the dummy has fallen out and she can't find it. Sleep clinic basically said a baby's bedtime should be around the 7-8pm mark and no later otherwise they'll be overtired. Also, trying to ensure that they have adequate day time naps too. They told us that around the 8-9 month age group that two naps of 1 - 1.5 hours a day (usually around 9.30am and 1.30pm - if bub has woken at 7am) will give them adequate sleep to ensure they're not overtired for a 7pm bedtime. How's your son's naps?
We let our daughter whinge but not cry it out. I'm exactly the same as you and just can't let her scream - so don't feel bad if you can't stomach it. Just try not to pick him up out of his cot but go in and comfort him by patting or shushing. If he's really hysterical (which my daughter tends to get ), pick him up and rock or pat until he's calm but then put him back down awake to self settle. Even if you have to stay in there with him until he falls asleep, its best to make sure he's in his cot awake before he falls asleep.
When you put him down for bed at night, are you feeding him to sleep? If so, it may just be that when he wakes in his cot later he gets a fright because you're not there. Therefore, if you can teach him to fall asleep in his cot (ie put him to bed drowsy but awake to start with) then he may sleep better. We were told at sleep clinic to let Addison cry but as I said I couldn't do it, so basically I just started with putting her in her cot nearly asleep and staying with her with my hand on her until she was asleep. We did that for about a week, then would put her in there when she was tired but wide awake and just shush her with a hand on her. Did that for a week then put her to bed tired, awake and moved away from the cot and sat near the door. After a week, I would put her down and give her a kiss and just walk out. It took about a month. She will yell at me (she does a great imitation of a distressed cry when you first walk out but it stops after about 10 seconds so you know she's not actually upset) and now she probably protests for about 5 minutes (where the cries are broken and swap between a cry and a yell, then chatter etc) and then she's asleep. If however she's overtired, she will cry her little heart out and I have to go in and comfort her. Occassionally even now (and it is usually if she's overtired) she will need me to hold her hand to go to sleep. However, she's not waking up screaming.
Anyway, hope this helps and all is well with you guys.

Nikki - posted on 09/10/2010

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i had this problem when my son was 5 months. i brought a whinnie the pooh thing that sings and projects a moving picture on to the celing. it also has a moving picture on the front. that worked for us. still woke up for a feed but could put him down again happily and would fall asleep on his own.

Cornelia - posted on 09/09/2010

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WOW, there has been many studies showing 'cry it out' can cause children to suffer! Maybe he wakes up because he is lonely...I do not believe we should teach our children that being lonely is part of life.
My daughter is 9m 2wks she wakes up twice a night, i feed her and within 10 minutes I'm back asleep, she sleeps in bed with us and it works very well.

Maybe you could try putting him in his crib and sitting beside his crib, sitting further and further away each day until you are out of the room. Also, babys have growth spurts, he could WANT more milk, do no restrict his feedings, he may need them.

[deleted account]

Thank you ladies for everyone's opinion. He has been sleeping through some of the nights but does sometime still wake up but I got a crib night light/music player and when he wakes up I normally just put it on......he normally falls back to sleep. I do have some days where that don't even work so I do have to give in a give him that bottle. His Dr. told me to give him some rice cereal before bed because that will fill him up so I have been done that also.

Alyshia - posted on 09/08/2010

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i have kinda had the same problem he goes down at 9-10pm and then he wakes up at like 2-3am not sure why as he has sleepted thru the night since he was 4 months old i dont know what could of changed his sleeping pattern

Maggie - posted on 09/08/2010

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My son turned 9 months today and for the past 3 months has been going to bed 7-7.30 waking between 3-4am for a feed and going back down. I too tried cutting out the extra feed as I know he eats a lot more than most 9 month olds during the day. But he screams and screams for hours (tried for a week) tried cuddles but he just wont go back without being nursed.

im told its best not to feed them past 7pm otherwise they wake more. If baby isn't a big eater at night and relies on bfeeding then they will wake more as a bf baby isn't sustained for more than 8 hours or something

Monika - posted on 09/06/2010

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i know it's hard>my little girl is 8m2w and she still doesn't sleep trough the night.I'm trying not to give her a bottle as at this age they shouldn't need it.You can try increase his meals during the day.We also stopped taking our girl out of the cot in the middle of the night and putting her in our bed.When he is crying ,go to his room and pat him gently on his chest.It will take you couple of sleepless nights (unfortunately!!!) but he will get the message that cot it's his bed and mummy and daddy need some sleep in their bed.I think he cries because he wants what he is used to,now you have to change his habits and unfortunately he will not do it himself!!!lots of work ahead of you:)good luck:)

Carlene - posted on 09/06/2010

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my son is 2 1/2 now but when he was around that age he did the exact same thing. he could be teething or be cold also try a music machine at the end of the crib (sorry cant remember what their called) the ones with the lights and music maybe fishies or stars and see if that helps. hope things look up for you and ur son! good luck!!

Mal - posted on 09/05/2010

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My daughter did the same thing
it was all due to teething and wanting to feel better.. Now her 1st tooth has cut through she is back sleeping again..
this went on for 2 weeks of me getting up every half an hour with her 24/7.
Try bonjela on his gums or possibly some panadol if needed.. and ensure that the bottle you give him at night isnt a full normal one but only half a bottle as he will begin to come reliant on it at this age if constantly given to him.
Hope this helps

Barb - posted on 09/05/2010

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My now 8.5 month old son has been sleeping through the night for a couple months now.Recently he started waking up in the middle of the night screaming his head off. My 9yo son had the same issue. We tried a nightlight and he doesn't wake up now. It could be night terrors. Also try feeding your baby dinner a little later so his tummy stays full longer. We give him dinner later and he also gets a handful of the parent's choice fruit puffs for a snack. He sleeps from about 8:30pm til anywhere from 7am-9am.

Sarah - posted on 09/05/2010

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I agree with Heidi Johnson - it doesn't help the situation when you keep giving in to bub's cries. If he knows you'll come in and give him a bottle, he's going to keep expecting it.

I made the same mistake with mine (although I b/f her), but two weeks ago decided to stop her night feeds altogether because she was starting to wake up more at night again. Well, it's the best thing I could've done! She's slept through the night (11 solid hours) since then and it's been wonderful! The first few nights she wasn't impressed that Mummy wouldn't feed her like she used to, but she soon caught on and now I don't hear a peep from her from the time she goes to bed until morning.

In terms of the cry it out method, I know there are people out there against the method and I have to admit I was dead set against it too. When she was about 6 months old (she's 8.5 months now) I used a controlled crying method, similar to what Lucy Vellone mentioned, and it worked wonders!! It is hard to start with, because lets face it, no mother likes to listen to her baby cry - but it's so worth it in the end and it helps them learn to resettle on their own, while still knowing that Mummy will come and offer comfort too.

No matter what you choose to do though, make sure you stick with it - consistency is the key, because if you keep responding in different ways you'll only confuse baby and it's upsetting for both of you. Good luck! Sounds like you're on the right track, so keep it up =)

[deleted account]

Thanks guys!! The past 2 nights he has fell asleep crying it out for like 15 mins and then I went to go check on him and he was pasted out so it has been working.

Lucy - posted on 09/02/2010

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Your situation sounds exactly like mine. My son also wants to be rocked to sleep and wakes up multiple times a night and as soon as I put him in his crib, he starts screaming. Finally 2 nights ago I gave up and decided to try the cry it out method. It is really hard!! The first night I went in after 3 minutes, then 5 then 10 minutes until he fell asleep which was 1 hour and a half later. Tonight i did 5, 7 and 12 minutes and he fell asleep in 45 minutes. I'm hoping he takes even less time tomorrow. Oh and he slept all night last night - hoping for the same tonight. Try it, it might work for you too.

Melissa - posted on 09/02/2010

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My son goes to bed at the same time and he started doing the same thing. He just turned nine months old on the first. I did what you are doing at first, I let him fall asleep with me, but he would wake up after I put him down. To stop this I finally decided to let him cry himself to sleep, although I really felt like I was being cruel I knew it was better than having him sleep in the bed with me. The first night was hard, but once he realized that no one was going to come in he finally went to sleep. Rocking never helped him, but every child is different. Be firm with him, do not linger in his room after you lay him down. Say goodnight to him in a reassuring voice and then leave. As a parent we need to be the strong ones and show our children that they can rely on us for structure. The longer you give in the harder it will be. Good luck, I hope everything works out for you I know how hard something like this can be!!

Jenn - posted on 08/31/2010

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Hi! I have two children and my 1st child was and sometimes still is the worst sleeper EVER!! I had the same issue with him when he was this age and I must say that when I had my now 8 month old I learned my lesson and do things a whole lot differently lol! I tried the crying out method with my 1st and it never worked for me. Owen would wake up almost every night screaming and I would just go in and rock him back to sleep! Neither one of us was getting much sleep so I did the other method where I sat on the floor/chair at his crib so he could see me but not say a word. He still cried and cried but eventually I think after like 2 hours the first night he fell asleep! (I just brought myself a pillow and a blanky in the room for myself haha) Every night after that I would move myself a little further away from the crib and closer to the door! It took about 2 weeks but after that he wouldnt wake up anymore! Eliminate the bottle he could be just waking up for that crutch! We have this aquarium light up thingy in our crib for Lukas and that usually helps put him back to sleep when he wakes up in the middle of the night! A night light sometimes helps too! Background noise-a noise machine, fan, air conditioner, classical music anything soothin may help too! I hope this helps! I bought all the books and believe me It was a tough time but it will get better!

[deleted account]

Thank you for the advice I will deff try not giving him a bottle tonight. I wish he would take a soother....when he was born the gave one in the hospital but never took to it so he had a stage of sucking his thumb but now that he is teething he don't suck his thumb and he also bit his finger so that's another reason why I think he stoped. Thanks again!!!

Heidi - posted on 08/29/2010

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My son is 8 months 1 week .. and sleeps like a log. There was a time when he would wake up crying. I knew it wasn't for hunger .. so I would go into his room to check his diaper and make sure he was physically OK. I didn't talk to him, or pick him up. I just gave him a soother, and stroked his head/face ... and had to let him cry it out eventually. The problem is, that if you keep giving in every time he cries .. then he will continue to wake up during the night becuase he knows you will come to him. it's a vicious circle and you are the only one that can stop it. There may be a few sleepless nights for you ... but you just have to let him cry it out. it will only take 1 to 3 nights of this ... but then he will learn to put himself back to sleep. You also have to think about why you are taking your son to bed with you .. for your benefit (and so you can sleep) or for his benefit. Best of luck!!!

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