Can a 5 month old have a favourite parent?

Nicole - posted on 10/18/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My son is five months old, and sometimes when he is with his dad, he screams for no reason. I know my fiance has never hurt our son, and he tries the exact same things I do to calm our baby down, but it does not work. My fiance was in another country for the first 8 months of my pregnancy, could it be that our son is just used to my voice and smell from the time he was in my womb, or is it that I have boobs he can snuggle against? Has anyone else come across this with their child, and were you able to fix it? If so, how? He gets really frustrated because he can not calm our son down, and all I have to do is pick him up, and talk to him, and he settles. I do not know what to do to make it better...

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Elizabeth - posted on 10/18/2009

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I think it's a normal developmental stage - recognition and deep attachment to their primary caregiver. As upsetting as it is, I think it's actually a *good* sign, and it's not permanent. I think it often comes into force between about 6-9 months, but mum says I started being very selective about people when I was 4 months old - made it pretty hard for my parents to get a night out alone!

A lot of people recommend lending your partner a tshirt or something that you've been wearing (maybe an unwashed night-shirt) as the scent relaxes bubba. Our little girl is 3.5 mths, so we haven't quite got to that stage yet.

Maybe while your son is going through this stage, try and have dad and baby hang out mostly when baby is in a good mood? So they get lots of bonding time that isn't as frustrating for them both. i.e., where possible, have dad play with baby when baby is at his most happy - hopefully they'll accumulate enough time together to learn each other's communication cues that you and your son probably have unconsciously worked out.

Good luck - must be pretty upsetting (sooo not looking forward to that stage!).

Hanna - posted on 10/18/2009

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it's common in kids his age, especially if he spends the majority of the time with one parents. they actually tell you to start getting a babysitter & going out at least every once in a while around that age to make sure that baby gets used to people other than parents before they develop that attachment. and there have been cases when babies play favorites with non-parent care givers (e.g. nannies, grandparents, cousins who watch the baby the majority of the time). tell your fiance not to worry, it'll pass soon enough. good luck!

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Sarah - posted on 10/18/2009

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My daughter was a mommy's girl from day 1. Actually I say she was a mommy's girl before day 1 (she would never let hubby feel her kick in womb). But from the day she was born she wanted only mom and would cry if anyone else would hold her. If I left her with hubby and it was over her feeding time she would not eat, just would scream the whole time I was gone. She was just a very stubborn mommy's girl. I think this was frustrating at times for both hubby and I. At times I just figured you are with your dad and you are safe, so even if you don't like it, oh well. As she got older hubby would tease her in a playful way (still does today). This allowed them to eventually connect in their own way. They developed their own unique relationship that has been fun to watch as she has grown. I would just say hang in there. If all his needs are met then just let him cry (it will strengthen his lungs :) ). Don't take it personally.

Stephanie - posted on 10/18/2009

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Momma's boy! My son is the same way once in awhile my husband can calm him down but it's usually always me and my husband has always been there, they say sons just have a special bond with their moms and after having my son I truely believe it, and love it some days it does get a lil frustrating but i love it when I get home from work and he is so overly excited to be in his mommas arms

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