Co-Sleeping

Robin - posted on 04/28/2009 ( 22 moms have responded )

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Okay, so it's my first baby, and I think I may have made a mistake. I had problems with the incision from c-section post-partum, and it was very difficult for me to get in and out of bed. To make the nights easier on both of us, I let the baby sleep with me. Now, I'm a little more healed, and I'd like to transition the baby to sleeping in his crib...but it's very difficult. Anyone been down this road? I don't need to hear about how important it is to have them sleep on their own from day one - that ship has sailed. What should I try now?

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Minnie - posted on 09/28/2009

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Cookie-cutter posting this was "I made a mistake....I let the baby sleep with me."



WHY is it always a mistake to let baby sleep in bed?



Are we not mammals? Do mammals not sleep with their infants?



Bedsharing has been the default sleeping arrangement for mothers and infants for as long as humans have been on the face of this planet. It is only a product of western culture that expect on our young to sleep away from their parents.



For your other question regarding naps: my daughter sleeps when she's tired, in our bed, or in my arms, or in a carrier on my back.

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Sarah-jane - posted on 09/30/2009

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hi i had a c section and also sleep wit my baby in hospital and when i got home but once she was a few days old i started puting her in her cot or crib and let her so to sleep, yes they cry a bit but she now will only sleep in her crib,

[deleted account]

Cultures that bed share (and there are numerous) have almost no incidence of SIDS. Babies are not good at self-regulating their body until around 9 months. They rely on close contact with Mom to help them regulate their breathing and body temp. It's biology. If you practice safe habits, co-sleeping is no more dangerous than a crib especially if you are breastfeeding as the hormones from breastfeeding make Mom very aware in her sleep. Again, biology. Additionally, babies and Moms that co-sleep have much lower levels of stress hormones than non-cosleepers. It's how humans were designed.

Everyone has to make their own decisions as to what works best for them, but myths (no matter what the topic) do not assist in making well-informed choices. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

Saskia - posted on 09/28/2009

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I live in germany and co-sleeping is more excepted here. They even give you a bed gard in hospital after you had the baby so you can safley co-sleep! Me personaly think it's safer for the baby to sleep in their own bed or moses basket. Howerver as I breastfeed both of my babies (still feed the youngest 3 months) it occasionally happened that i fell asleep whilst feeding. I had my oldest in a moses basket by the side of my bed until 4 month old and moved him into his crib (still in the bed room) until 6 months thats when he moved into his own room. I'm planning on doing the same with my daughter.



You will know yourself how lightly you sleep with the baby in your bed so I won't worry to much about it (obviously only when you're not drunk or under madication) just make sure u have a bed guard or one of these

---> http://www.kiddybest.de/beistellbett-bab...

he'll be in his own bed but still with you

good luck!!

Minnie - posted on 09/28/2009

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Quoting Karen:

I know it's tempting to keep your baby in the bed with you, but you really need to transition your baby into the crib. Co-sleeping is extremely dangerous. The safest place for your baby to sleep is in a bare crib (no bumpers, loose blankets, pillows, toys, etc) and on his/her back. I found that using the Halo SleepSack Swaddle product helped. My son just wanted to feel snug and secure like in the womb. It stands to reason that a crib is big and frightening for a baby that's used to being confined in a small space. Try swaddling and see if that helps.


Karen, this is pure misinformation, fear-mongering, and lies.



'Extremely dangerous'?  Please provide your documented proof for the education of the rest of us...

Karen - posted on 09/28/2009

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I know it's tempting to keep your baby in the bed with you, but you really need to transition your baby into the crib. Co-sleeping is extremely dangerous. The safest place for your baby to sleep is in a bare crib (no bumpers, loose blankets, pillows, toys, etc) and on his/her back. I found that using the Halo SleepSack Swaddle product helped. My son just wanted to feel snug and secure like in the womb. It stands to reason that a crib is big and frightening for a baby that's used to being confined in a small space. Try swaddling and see if that helps.

Rachel - posted on 05/04/2009

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Robin, we had Rylee in her pack and play bassinet until she was 3 months old in our room with us. She slept there at night and for naps. She too liked the smaller spaces initially, so we used one of the infant positioners until she was a little older. Good luck! Hope you are well and can't wait to see you guys!

[deleted account]

AAP suggests a crib in your room until one year. As long as you are comfortable with your baby in bed with you and your partner is okay with it, co-sleeping is fine. Make sure you aren't co-sleeping if either of you are on meds, alcohol, or other drugs. And for most things, your instincts will guide you....if you resent it, then change it. Use some common sense and reference from the great ladies in these forums and the occasional doctor for big issues and you will do just fine.

Brittney - posted on 04/30/2009

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and many people believe that the baby should be in the same room as the momma for the first six months when the incidence of SIDs takes a sharp decline!

Laura - posted on 04/30/2009

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I didnt have my baby sleep with me but he has been in our room right next to me in a bassenet at first then h grew out of that and now i have him in his playpin next to me. His room is down stairs and i would miss him if he were down there silly as it sounds! Now he is 4 months old and i still dont plan on puting him down there anytime soon. So if you have a play pin or something you could try putting him in there right next to your bed. I like it cause i can look right down and see that he is there with me!

Liz - posted on 04/30/2009

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My 24 mth old daughter pretty much co-slept with us until she was about 17mths old, since I started doing this for nursing convenience and then later she would not go into her crib - she always hated her crib, probably because I didn't try to transition her very well. Well, I had to get her out of my bed since I had a new baby on the way, and after brainstorming and considering several options, I thought it might be best to buy her a full-sized mattress set, but just keep it on the floor without a bed frame so she could be low to the ground for safety reasons. She LOVED her new bed from day one, and never again asked to sleep with mommy and daddy - we were shocked! We still have to lay with her at times to get her to sleep, but she is easing out of that too. I am STILL co-sleeping with my 8 mth old son, and I love it. He will be my last baby, so I want to enjoy every moment of it. He naps in his carseat - he has always like to nap there. My daughter used to nap in the stroller in the house during the winter, or outside in the stroller during the summer, and sometimes on the couch (when she was too little to roll). She liked the stroller because it was cozy, and I always draped a blanket over it to keep it dark for her, and used insect netting outside. Hope that helps. Do what you feel is right for YOU - they are only babies for such a short time. Don't let ANYONE guilt you into doing something you don't want to do because it will all work out in the end - you will find a way :) Enjoy your baby!!!

Cathelijn - posted on 04/30/2009

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My baby slept with me from day one and still does now, I also thought I made a big mistake because people keep commenting that she will never sleep in her own bed. In the beginning I could not put her down she would wake up and cry. Now for nap times she either sleeps in her cot or I make a little bed for her on the couch. We are now going to try to let her sleep in her cot for the night and see how it goes. But I love sleeping with her in the bed so I will miss her:-(

Barbara - posted on 04/29/2009

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Our 14 month old son usually naps on the floor on a mat, or much of the time in my arms in the rocking chair while I nap too, or in a carrier. We don't have any kind of baby holder thingy, no crib or bassinet or pac-n-play, we just take him wherever we are and when he's tired he sleeps where he is. We don't have set nap times where we try and put him down, he puts himself down for a nap when he's tired. You might need a baby holder of some kind if you want to put him down at a set time or something. I don't know as I've never tried that. Setting our son on the floor works because he can't fall or anything, and we are always close by to make sure he stays safe. It works for us, anyway.

Brittney - posted on 04/29/2009

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LOL! Listen, if your baby sleeps with you it is not that big of a deal. I was nursing my daughter and the only way that she would sleep was in my arms. After trying and trying to transition her to her bassinette, swing, bouncy seat, car seat etc with no luck, I stopped stressing out about it. At three months she started to sleep almost all the way through the night and I could put her in the pack and play bassinette to sleep. Tey whatever you can if it is important to get the baby sleeping elsewhere, but other than that do what feels right to you and what helps both of you get some sleep. Because let's face it you will never completely heal unless you get some rest!

Robin - posted on 04/29/2009

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THANK YOU for all the great advice. Smart moms all! I personally like co-sleeping; it's my husband who's not a huge fan. And I can see it's not a permanent solution. Plus, my home health nurse was telling me that she did co-sleeping with all three of her children, and they've never slept in their own beds. That scared the pants off me!

You know, we never bought a proper bassinet. We took the advice of some friends and have been using the one with our pack-n-play. But our son seems to like close, snuggly spaces - like his bouncer or car seat - so I think maybe it's time we got a real one.

I'm also curious: for those of you who do co-sleep, where does the baby nap?

Ally - posted on 04/28/2009

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I would say to put a crib/bassinett next to your bed if you no longer like the co-sleeping. I still have my 13 month old daughter in bed with us since she's still breastfeeding and like you it was simply easier for her and I to get more sleep right next to me! We will probably be trying to transition her sometime in the near future but will prob still keep her in our room for at least a few weeks/months until she adjusts to the new arrangement. Doing it with a younger baby will probably be easier in terms of them adjusting well but may be harder on you during the nightime feedings especially if you are moving the baby to a separate room. good luck :)

Brittany - posted on 04/28/2009

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I understand. I didn't have a c-section, but the day she was born (5:40am) everyone went home to get everything ready for her. I was at the hospital by myself and was too tired and hurt to trust myself picking her up and carrying her so she slept on me. I had the same prob when I got home, i just rocked her to sleep and then put her in the crib afterwards. I did spend hours trying to get her to go back to sleep and still do (she's only 5 days) but i'm going to stay consistent about it.

Laura - posted on 04/28/2009

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What Ashley said worked for my friend too, they moved there son out of their room inch by inch.

Esther - posted on 04/28/2009

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Don't feel bad at all! I had a normal delivery and for the entire 9 months of my pregnancy I told anyone who would listen that I would never have my baby sleep in the room with us. Yeah, until he was born. After 8 weeks my husband had to twist my arm to get me to let him move him to his crib. The very first 2 nights out of the hospital I didn't put him down at all. I just sat with him in my arms all night long and held him while he was sleeping!



As Ashley said, having the baby sleep in a bassinet next to your bed before taking him to his own room might help (we put the bassinet in the crib for a few nights), but it should be relatively easy still at that age. As long as they are tended to when they need you, they are still pretty oblivious at that age.

Emily - posted on 04/28/2009

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The baby is six weeks right? It should be relatively easy. They adjust well at this age. Start putting him in there for naps and at night. They sleep a lot at that age so he should have lots of opportunities to get used to it. Sorry co sleeping didn't work out for you, but like I said, he'll get used to it

Ashley - posted on 04/28/2009

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You know, I probably would have done the same thing if I was you. You did what was best for you two at the time. Do you have a bassinet or anything you could put the baby in beside the bed next to you? A friend of mine did this with their kid, it took a little while but it worked. She put her baby in the bassinet next to her side of the bed and each night she would just move the bassinet farther away from her until it was almost out of the room. That's one idea. Or depending on your comfort level, you could just put him in his crib, but he may cry for a bit. It could last a few nights but should dwindle down to nothing shortly. Where does he take his naps? If he naps in his crib it might not be as hard as you think. But if he naps elsewhere then you will have to find a method you are comfortable with. My girlfriend did this with her 9 month old daughter and then just put her in her crib one night and she fell asleep, but woke up at 2am and she came into bed with them. But I think it only happened once or twice and then she did fine in her crib. Good luck, and don't worry, you'll get him in his crib. he certainly won't be in bed with you guys when he's 12!

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