Does anyone have issues with low libbido/no interest in sex after having a baby?

Alicia - posted on 08/19/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Just something I'm dealing with and it's not that we don't have sex, I don't always feel "in the mood" I don't want to say "it feels like a chore" when we do or when he wants to sometimes especially when I'd rather go to sleep . . ..

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Alicia - posted on 08/19/2009

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Quoting Candice:

sex after baby is a fight against multiple problems. your hormones are all shot to hell for a year after, you're exhausted, you're trying to figure out how to get hubby to pull his weight and feel more turned on by him doing the laundry than by his naked body. i'm in no position to tell you how to fix it though...i just got fed up and left. he wanted me to "give the baby to someone so we could have a date night" and all i wanted was for him to just do his share of the friggin work...THAT would have gotten me excited!


I had gone through that as well "for my husband to help out more" I don't blame you there.He has been since trying his best to understand what I want/need from him.



But I do know that "date nights" are important too. And learned it could be as simple as watching a movie together or taking a walk to as complex as going out for dinner & maybe meeting a few friends out etc. And of course to have "your own time" I"m in a book club which gets me out of the house one night a  month. I will also be taking jewish religion classes in the near future which will also get me out of the house one night a wk. (anything to get me out of the house & get involed in adult conversation).

Alicia - posted on 08/19/2009

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Thank you very much ladies. Your input is much appreciated. Just makin sure I'm not the only one & that I'm not going out of my mind!!! hahaha
Will have to agree on Christina as my husband thinks it is him as well (he thinks maybe I don't love him anymore-which is NOT the case).
I do hate having my hormones out of wack. It's almost like I don't have control over how I'm going to feel a certain day. It is what it is.
I'm glad my husband is being patient & understanding (for the most part) to make our relationship work.

Candice - posted on 08/19/2009

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sex after baby is a fight against multiple problems. your hormones are all shot to hell for a year after, you're exhausted, you're trying to figure out how to get hubby to pull his weight and feel more turned on by him doing the laundry than by his naked body. i'm in no position to tell you how to fix it though...i just got fed up and left. he wanted me to "give the baby to someone so we could have a date night" and all i wanted was for him to just do his share of the friggin work...THAT would have gotten me excited!

Chrissy - posted on 08/19/2009

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I've had the same issues. It took awhile before I was able to, and then the pain from those tries made me pretty skiddish. I'm exhausted after working a full day while taking care of the baby. And I also have self image problems. I don't want to be seen naked! My husband is trying to be understanding, but he's been pushing since I got out of the first 6 week restriction. I'll do it, but I never want to. It's hard with a little one, they sort of take over.

Louise - posted on 08/19/2009

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My daughter is 8 months old now and my husband and I only really properly had sex two weeks ago. I mean we tried when she was about 8 weeks old but i was still in a lot of pain and since then libbido has certainly been low. But like Helen, I have a very understanding husband that didn't pressure me into anything.

Suzanne - posted on 08/19/2009

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Yep... Sex is the last thing I want after a long day with a fussy baby! But my hubby been really great about the lack of sex we have... but we do have something going for us in that we can go a long while without it since we got used to it while he was deployed. We are like if we have we have it if not its ok.

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Helen said it too many other things to think about. That is a big prob leting your mind wonder and or kinna putting no thought in to it. Your diet are a part of it:)- I was in the same place as you I was having a hard time up untill our lil gal hit a year old. My poor hubby thought it was him so I needed to think about him. So it started with once a week once I put our lil one to bed it was our time to flurt and play and that helped a bunch. And in my case it was hard for me cuz I did not find my self to be sexy any more. With a few lbs left over it was hard. Good luck hope it helps:)-

Helen - posted on 08/19/2009

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I've not even thought about sex yet and Emily is two months old today. It has been the last thing on my mind......I'm just too exhausted!



Luckily for me my husband has placed no pressure on me for sex, he's a darling.

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