frustraded!!

Amy - posted on 12/16/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 5 weeks old and every night when we are getting ready to go to bed she fights it for almost 2 hours straight. I kno that she is a baby and she dont really know wat she is doing but it kinda gets to me. i dont know wats wrong with her. and she dont do it during the day. any suggestions?

13 Comments

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Renae - posted on 12/16/2009

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PS At 5 weeks most babies should not stay awake for longer than 1 hour as they become tired very quickly. The difference between tired and very-over-tired for a 5 week old is only about 20-30 minutes, which means they also get overtired very quickly. On average a baby aged 4-8 weeks needs 18 hours sleep out of every 24 hours.

Renae - posted on 12/16/2009

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I am an advocate of SOME crying methods and post a lot on the various techniques for getting babies to go to sleep and also sleep through the night. However, the intention of all of these methods, especially all CIO methods, is to teach the baby to sleep for a longer period of time. That is not appropriate for a 5 week old who needs to be fed frequently.

In your case, your baby is very young. There are several things that could be happening. It could be the old "witching hour" when baby cries unconsolably for 1-2 hours every night usually starting between 5-7pm and nobody knows exactly why. It could also be a bit of colic or gas. It is very common between 6-8 weeks for babies to start staying awake longer during the day and parents need to be careful not to let them get over-tired, over-tiredness is a very common reason for a 1-2 hour long tantrum in the evening. Another common one around this age if you are breastfeeding is some women find their milk becomes low towards the end of the day (usually because they are forgetting to drink enough water or are not resting during the day and their body is tired) and the baby is extra hungry in the evening and needs a bottle of formula.

I think you should do nothing but ride it out. Babies do lots of strange things in the first 12 weeks and for some babies that includes lots of fighting bedtime or evening crying. I recommend that at this VERY YOUNG age, you go to her and do your best to comfort her when she cries, feed her when she is hungry, put her to bed when she is tired.

You have a 75% chance that things will dramatically improve between 12 and 14 weeks. There is no behaviour modification that is suitable for a very young newborn. If things do not improve then, please post again or you are welcome to contact me directly about implementing some methods to help with bedtime and sleeping longer stretches.

Leslie - posted on 12/16/2009

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my daughter is 4 months old and she has problems sleepig sometimes cuz she is so nosey....she has to see what is going on all the time so at night I make sure no tv or anything is around till she falls asleep but once she is out u can be as loud as u want and she wont wake up till around nine next morning.

[deleted account]

She may be getting over tired, which would make her fight sleep more. Set up a bedtime routine, usually bath, feed then bed with an aim to getting her to bed by around 7pm. The more over tired they are, the more they fight and whinge, so as soon as she starts showing the sleepy signs she should be heading to bed.

Also, look up the Dunstan Baby Language (via Google). There are 5 distinct cries that babies give to let you know what's wrong. Learning these cries really, REALLY helps in the early days.

Good luck!

[deleted account]

My son is now 5 months old. When he was younger he would just fuss until he had a 2 ounce bottle of formula to put him to sleep. He still does it occassionally, but for the most part he sleeps all nite long from 10 pm until about 9 am. I give him a bottle, rock him and sing to him every nite then lay him in his bed once he is sound asleep. Hope this helps you and I promise, it will get better, just give it time. If you have someone to help you with her, let them see if they can get her to sleep. Babies feel your frustration and sometimes it just takes someone not upset to calm them enough to sleep.

Emma - posted on 12/16/2009

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Could be the start of colic, or could be plain simple gas. Is she formula or breastfed? This sometimes has to do with it. Breastfed babies do tend to pass gas more than formula fed babies, where some formula fed babies get some constipation. And sometimes starting a bedtime routine helps. Try some lavender scented bath products, they work like a charm on my sleep fighter! He can't resist them lol



Also I agree with Jennifer, a swing works wonder as the LOVE the motion. I use to swaddle my son, place him in his swing and away he went!

Shaina - posted on 12/16/2009

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my son way the same way. It sounds a little weird but I started writing down when he would eat, sleep, and when he would get crabby. It helped me see when he was tired and when he got OVER tired (which is when he would fight sleep the most) We would let him cry it out for a little while. After a few minutes (5-10) we would pick him up and he would calm down right away. We were then able to get him to sleep. Some nights he just had to cry it out but figuring out what his schedule was helped us the most. GOOD LUCK!

Christy - posted on 12/16/2009

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just put her in a routine.
give her a bath, feed her and put her to bed at the same time everynight it should help!

[deleted account]

Do you have a bedtime routine for her? I found that by about that age with my son we did a little play, then a nice warm relaxing bath, then feed then bed. It took a couple of days to get established but he is now 5 months old and it works like a charm to get him in the sleepy mood every night (we also read a book now he is a bit bigger). Your daughter is still soooo little and getting used to the big bad world outside of you. Hang in there and know that it does get easier. Also try and stay relaxed and calm, they can feel your stress and often this can stop them relaxing fully. Good luck.

Jennifer - posted on 12/16/2009

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This is the exact message I left someone yesturday with a very similar situation - the first part doesn't go with your question but the other part does - I hope this helps.

My youngest is now 4 months old and has been sleeping through the night for over a month. I have learned this from having older children (7 in all). My first baby was fussy every night for about 4 hours. I would have her in the swing and at that time it was a wind up. Since she was bottle fed, I fed her every 4 hours no matter how fussy she was (being a new mom and no experience, that is what I was told to do and stuck by it). She woke up every time the swing stopped, but when I wound it up she fell back to sleep. After 3 weeks she slept thought the night - for about 12 hours! She was awesome! My other babies were not like that at all. I have learned that they do get hungry and I fed them every 3-4 hours.
With my last baby, her schedule is pretty easy. She feeds usually every 4 hours with some exceptions when she is soooo fussy after 3 hours. Her nightly feeding is a bottle at approx. 8 pm and then another full bottle 1 1/2 hours later. She does not sleep between those feedings, but then passes out right after the last bottle and sleeps for about 8-9 hours straight.
Every baby is different - don't think there is anything wrong with her or what you are doing.
I recommend not letting her cry for more than 5 minutes at a time - she will get too worked up and may get a tummy ache. The swing works wonders!

You may also want to let your physician know this - there maybe underlying issues - they don't know what causes it, but babies can be colicky for up to 3 months of age and eventually they grow out of it. Also make sure you burp her often so gas does not build up. Oh, and tummy time is great for colicky babies and babies with acid reflux - pressure on the tummy often eases the pain - even if you hold her like a football - it does work!
Good luck!

Aleah - posted on 12/16/2009

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my daughter was doing the same thing at night and woldnt sleep for very long so we decided to give her pablum recently and she slept for 9 hours last night! We just found out today though that she gets constipated on the rice cereal but its suppose to be the best to start with so i was advised to start giving her karo syrup in her bottle only a tsp though or give her a tsp of brown sugar in 4 oz of water throughout the day. Is she sleeping throughout the night or waking up for feedings?

Alyssa - posted on 12/16/2009

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When my son was around 6 weeks, he turned into a terrible sleeper temporarily. I would just make sure his diaper was changed, he was fed and burped,etc. Even after I did that, he would cry bloody murder. So sometimes I would just have to lay him in the bassinet and crack the door open and let him cry it out. I would check on him every 15 mins and talk to him to let him know I was there. After 30 mins he was usually asleep or would take a couple ounces of formula and go to sleep. I know it may sound cruel to let them cry but a lot of times they get overtired and cant go to sleep. So try that and try putting her down for naps more frequently and dont let her sleep for too long.

Alyssa - posted on 12/16/2009

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When my son was around 6 weeks, he turned into a terrible sleeper temporarily. I would just make sure his diaper was changed, he was fed and burped,etc. Even after I did that, he would cry bloody murder. So sometimes I would just have to lay him in the bassinet and crack the door open and let him cry it out. I would check on him every 15 mins and talk to him to let him know I was there. After 30 mins he was usually asleep or would take a couple ounces of formula and go to sleep. I know it may sound cruel to let them cry but a lot of times they get overtired and cant go to sleep. So try that and try putting her down for naps more frequently and dont let her sleep for too long.

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