Getting rid of the darn pacifier!

Amber - posted on 06/02/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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My daughter is five months old, and has slept through the night since 2.5 months. Problem is, she is a paci addict, and won't sleep without it. She has it in her mouth probably 18 hours a day as it is.

We've always struggled with her dropping her pacifier in the night and having to get up to go replace it, but in the last few weeks, she's been dropping it and waking up crying 10 or more times a night, sometimes as many as 20 times. I am exhausted, frustrated, and am beginning to become a little resentful, though I know it's of course not her fault! More angry at the stupid piece of plastic. ;)

I won't get rid of it for daytime use, because it's the only thing that will calm her at the grocery store, colic time, etc. But I can't do the bedtime thing anymore! Any other moms out there whose kids use pacifiers during the day and not at night? How did you get them off of it?

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Esther - posted on 06/03/2009

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I remembered having read something about this in "The No Cry Sleep Solution" (recommended reading) so I thought I'd look it up for you. Here's what Elizabeth Pantley wrote about it:





"It is very natural for a newborn to fall asleep while sucking at the breast, on a bottle or with a pacifier. When a baby always falls asleep this way, she learns to associate sucking with falling asleep; over time, she cannot fall asleep any other way. A larger percentage of parents who are struggling with older babies who cannot fall or stay asleep are fighting this natural and powerful sucking-to-sleep association.




Therefore, if you want your baby to be able to fall asleep without your help, it's essential that you sometimes let your newborn baby suck until she is sleepy, but not totally asleep. As often as you can, remove the breast, bottle or pacifier and let her finish falling asleep without something in her mouth. When you do this, your baby may resist, root and fuss to regain the nipple. It's perfectly OK to give her bakc the breast,bottle or pacifier and start over a few minutes later. Repeat, repeat, repeat. If you do this often enough, she will eventually learn how to fall asleep without sucking."





Here's another passage from the same book:





"When your baby wakes looking for her bottle, his pacifier, or to nurse, you most likely replace the pacifier or nurse her back to sleep. The problem here is that your baby's strong sleep association most likely will not change without your help. To take the steps to change your baby's sleep association, you must complicate night wakings for a week or even a month, but in the long run you can wean your baby from using her pacifier, her bottle or your breast as her only nighttime association. In other words, be prepared to disrupt your own nights for a while to make some important, worthwile long-term changes.





When your baby wakes, go ahead and pop her pacifier or bottle in her mouth, or nurse him. But, instead of leaving her there and going back to bed, or letting her fall asleep at the breast, let her suck for a few minutes until her sucking slows and she is relaxed and sleepy. Then breakt the seal with your finger and gently remove the pacifier or nipple. Often, especially at first, your baby will then startle and root for the nipple. Try to very gently hold her mouth closed with your finger under her chin, or apply pressure to her chin, just under her lip, at the same time rocking or swaying with her. If she struggles against this and roots for you or her pacifier or bottle or fusses, go ahead and replace the nipple or pacifier, but repeat the removal process as often as necessary until she falls asleep.





How long between removals? Every baby is different, but about ten to sixty seconds between removals usually works. You should also watch your baby's sucking action. If a baby is sucking strongly or swallowing regularly when feeding, wait a few minutes until she slows her pace. [ ] Usually after the first burst of activity, your baby will slow to a more relaxed "fluttery" pace; this is a good time to begin your removal attempts."





Good luck!

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Amber - posted on 06/05/2009

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Quoting Esther:

I remembered having read something about this in "The No Cry Sleep Solution" (recommended reading) so I thought I'd look it up for you. Here's what Elizabeth Pantley wrote about it:



"It is very natural for a newborn to fall asleep while sucking at the breast, on a bottle or with a pacifier. When a baby always falls asleep this way, she learns to associate sucking with falling asleep; over time, she cannot fall asleep any other way. A larger percentage of parents who are struggling with older babies who cannot fall or stay asleep are fighting this natural and powerful sucking-to-sleep association.


Therefore, if you want your baby to be able to fall asleep without your help, it's essential that you sometimes let your newborn baby suck until she is sleepy, but not totally asleep. As often as you can, remove the breast, bottle or pacifier and let her finish falling asleep without something in her mouth. When you do this, your baby may resist, root and fuss to regain the nipple. It's perfectly OK to give her bakc the breast,bottle or pacifier and start over a few minutes later. Repeat, repeat, repeat. If you do this often enough, she will eventually learn how to fall asleep without sucking."



Here's another passage from the same book:



"When your baby wakes looking for her bottle, his pacifier, or to nurse, you most likely replace the pacifier or nurse her back to sleep. The problem here is that your baby's strong sleep association most likely will not change without your help. To take the steps to change your baby's sleep association, you must complicate night wakings for a week or even a month, but in the long run you can wean your baby from using her pacifier, her bottle or your breast as her only nighttime association. In other words, be prepared to disrupt your own nights for a while to make some important, worthwile long-term changes.



When your baby wakes, go ahead and pop her pacifier or bottle in her mouth, or nurse him. But, instead of leaving her there and going back to bed, or letting her fall asleep at the breast, let her suck for a few minutes until her sucking slows and she is relaxed and sleepy. Then breakt the seal with your finger and gently remove the pacifier or nipple. Often, especially at first, your baby will then startle and root for the nipple. Try to very gently hold her mouth closed with your finger under her chin, or apply pressure to her chin, just under her lip, at the same time rocking or swaying with her. If she struggles against this and roots for you or her pacifier or bottle or fusses, go ahead and replace the nipple or pacifier, but repeat the removal process as often as necessary until she falls asleep.



How long between removals? Every baby is different, but about ten to sixty seconds between removals usually works. You should also watch your baby's sucking action. If a baby is sucking strongly or swallowing regularly when feeding, wait a few minutes until she slows her pace. [ ] Usually after the first burst of activity, your baby will slow to a more relaxed "fluttery" pace; this is a good time to begin your removal attempts."



Good luck!


Oh, that is SUCH  wonderful help Esther! I am going to start trying this tonight then. Wondering if I should do this for naps, too, or just at nighttime. I am looking SO forward to us all getting some more sleep!



I have been wanting to get that book since she was born, just haven't been able to pick it up yet. Think I'll go search Amazon. =) Thank you!



 



Bridget, evidently you didn't read my post.

Bridget - posted on 06/04/2009

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Why take it away let her keep i for a bit a soother helps them be comforted hense the name!

Rebecca - posted on 06/04/2009

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We stopped allowing our son to use his paci just at night for the exact same reason...we were exausted!! We had a few fussy nights as he got used to the new regime, but now puts himself to sleep by singing (he's 12 months, we took paci at night away around 8 mos). He still uses it during the day and at nap time, but knows it's no dice at night. He now sleeps from 6-6:30 pm until 5-5:30 am, gets some milk (and then his paci for the first time all night) and sleeps until 6:15-6:20. Hope this helps!

Emily - posted on 06/04/2009

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Quoting Esther:

I remembered having read something about this in "The No Cry Sleep Solution" (recommended reading) so I thought I'd look it up for you. Here's what Elizabeth Pantley wrote about it:



"It is very natural for a newborn to fall asleep while sucking at the breast, on a bottle or with a pacifier. When a baby always falls asleep this way, she learns to associate sucking with falling asleep; over time, she cannot fall asleep any other way. A larger percentage of parents who are struggling with older babies who cannot fall or stay asleep are fighting this natural and powerful sucking-to-sleep association.


Therefore, if you want your baby to be able to fall asleep without your help, it's essential that you sometimes let your newborn baby suck until she is sleepy, but not totally asleep. As often as you can, remove the breast, bottle or pacifier and let her finish falling asleep without something in her mouth. When you do this, your baby may resist, root and fuss to regain the nipple. It's perfectly OK to give her bakc the breast,bottle or pacifier and start over a few minutes later. Repeat, repeat, repeat. If you do this often enough, she will eventually learn how to fall asleep without sucking."



Here's another passage from the same book:



"When your baby wakes looking for her bottle, his pacifier, or to nurse, you most likely replace the pacifier or nurse her back to sleep. The problem here is that your baby's strong sleep association most likely will not change without your help. To take the steps to change your baby's sleep association, you must complicate night wakings for a week or even a month, but in the long run you can wean your baby from using her pacifier, her bottle or your breast as her only nighttime association. In other words, be prepared to disrupt your own nights for a while to make some important, worthwile long-term changes.



When your baby wakes, go ahead and pop her pacifier or bottle in her mouth, or nurse him. But, instead of leaving her there and going back to bed, or letting her fall asleep at the breast, let her suck for a few minutes until her sucking slows and she is relaxed and sleepy. Then breakt the seal with your finger and gently remove the pacifier or nipple. Often, especially at first, your baby will then startle and root for the nipple. Try to very gently hold her mouth closed with your finger under her chin, or apply pressure to her chin, just under her lip, at the same time rocking or swaying with her. If she struggles against this and roots for you or her pacifier or bottle or fusses, go ahead and replace the nipple or pacifier, but repeat the removal process as often as necessary until she falls asleep.



How long between removals? Every baby is different, but about ten to sixty seconds between removals usually works. You should also watch your baby's sucking action. If a baby is sucking strongly or swallowing regularly when feeding, wait a few minutes until she slows her pace. [ ] Usually after the first burst of activity, your baby will slow to a more relaxed "fluttery" pace; this is a good time to begin your removal attempts."



Good luck!





 



WOW!  This is amazing advice!  Thank you Ester!  I have the exact same problem with my 5.5 month old.  I didn't realize that this was a good method, but I eventually ended up doing something similar.  I found a bottle and nipple combination that slows down the flow but doesn't frustrate my baby, and since she gets a bottle as part of her bedtime routine, this allowed her to suck and satisfy her need to suck while she was starting to fall asleep.  Since she is always burped after finishing the bottle, she didn't fall asleep with the bottle in her mouth and therefore sucking, but always ended up very sleepy and basically falling asleep without sucking.  This is brilliant and a great affirmation that what I was fumbling about doing is actually a recommended method of getting rid of the night time pacifier!  Thank you thank you Ester!

Emily - posted on 06/04/2009

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13

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Quoting Esther:

I remembered having read something about this in "The No Cry Sleep Solution" (recommended reading) so I thought I'd look it up for you. Here's what Elizabeth Pantley wrote about it:



"It is very natural for a newborn to fall asleep while sucking at the breast, on a bottle or with a pacifier. When a baby always falls asleep this way, she learns to associate sucking with falling asleep; over time, she cannot fall asleep any other way. A larger percentage of parents who are struggling with older babies who cannot fall or stay asleep are fighting this natural and powerful sucking-to-sleep association.


Therefore, if you want your baby to be able to fall asleep without your help, it's essential that you sometimes let your newborn baby suck until she is sleepy, but not totally asleep. As often as you can, remove the breast, bottle or pacifier and let her finish falling asleep without something in her mouth. When you do this, your baby may resist, root and fuss to regain the nipple. It's perfectly OK to give her bakc the breast,bottle or pacifier and start over a few minutes later. Repeat, repeat, repeat. If you do this often enough, she will eventually learn how to fall asleep without sucking."



Here's another passage from the same book:



"When your baby wakes looking for her bottle, his pacifier, or to nurse, you most likely replace the pacifier or nurse her back to sleep. The problem here is that your baby's strong sleep association most likely will not change without your help. To take the steps to change your baby's sleep association, you must complicate night wakings for a week or even a month, but in the long run you can wean your baby from using her pacifier, her bottle or your breast as her only nighttime association. In other words, be prepared to disrupt your own nights for a while to make some important, worthwile long-term changes.



When your baby wakes, go ahead and pop her pacifier or bottle in her mouth, or nurse him. But, instead of leaving her there and going back to bed, or letting her fall asleep at the breast, let her suck for a few minutes until her sucking slows and she is relaxed and sleepy. Then breakt the seal with your finger and gently remove the pacifier or nipple. Often, especially at first, your baby will then startle and root for the nipple. Try to very gently hold her mouth closed with your finger under her chin, or apply pressure to her chin, just under her lip, at the same time rocking or swaying with her. If she struggles against this and roots for you or her pacifier or bottle or fusses, go ahead and replace the nipple or pacifier, but repeat the removal process as often as necessary until she falls asleep.



How long between removals? Every baby is different, but about ten to sixty seconds between removals usually works. You should also watch your baby's sucking action. If a baby is sucking strongly or swallowing regularly when feeding, wait a few minutes until she slows her pace. [ ] Usually after the first burst of activity, your baby will slow to a more relaxed "fluttery" pace; this is a good time to begin your removal attempts."



Good luck!





 



WOW!  This is amazing advice!  Thank you Ester!  I have the exact same problem with my 5.5 month old.  I didn't realize that this was a good method, but I eventually ended up doing something similar.  I found a bottle and nipple combination that slows down the flow but doesn't frustrate my baby, and since she gets a bottle as part of her bedtime routine, this allowed her to suck and satisfy her need to suck while she was starting to fall asleep.  Since she is always burped after finishing the bottle, she didn't fall asleep with the bottle in her mouth and therefore sucking, but always ended up very sleepy and basically falling asleep without sucking.  This is brilliant and a great affirmation that what I was fumbling about doing is actually a recommended method of getting rid of the night time pacifier!  Thank you thank you Ester!

Shanna - posted on 06/03/2009

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we took the pacifier away durring the day (closer to 1 )and than at 1 we just took it away . it may be hard but than it gets easier. she never realy cried, i didn't just let her cry we just did alternative things like reading a book or singing a song to calm her down. or introducing her to ocean wonders or music. her mobile. those things helped and she learned how to turn her ocean wonders on at a young age and it would put her back to sleep even though i was like uhg cuz you can here it but it worked. than by the time she was one she didn't need it or want it.

Amber - posted on 06/03/2009

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Quoting Esther:

Poor you! I feel your pain. My son is pretty attached to his pacifier too. When he was young he would even pull them out of other kids' mouths and stick them in his own mouth (or just hold them if he already had one). My son is now 17 months old and I suffer from mommy amnesia so I can't quite remember what it was like at 5 months, but we have always had pacifiers all over my son's crib so if he lost one he would have another one nearby to stick in his mouth. I'm just not sure if your daughter is able to do that yet.

p.s. I never let my son CIO either.


Lord, I can't wait for her to be able to grab it and put it back in her mouth, but we aren't to that point yet. Unfortunately =( Thank you! =)

Esther - posted on 06/03/2009

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Poor you! I feel your pain. My son is pretty attached to his pacifier too. When he was young he would even pull them out of other kids' mouths and stick them in his own mouth (or just hold them if he already had one). My son is now 17 months old and I suffer from mommy amnesia so I can't quite remember what it was like at 5 months, but we have always had pacifiers all over my son's crib so if he lost one he would have another one nearby to stick in his mouth. I'm just not sure if your daughter is able to do that yet.



p.s. I never let my son CIO either.

Amber - posted on 06/03/2009

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Quoting Sarah:

Hi Amber. my youngest was the same, i got soooo annoyed getting up every 10 mins to put her dummy (pacifier) back in at night! Personally i just stopped giving it to her at night, yes, she woke up and cried, but no more than she had done because of the dummy falling out, in fact, she woke up less often. i let her 'cry it out' (may not be a popular solution!) and it worked for me. the first night was quite hard, but she was still in my room at that point so usually just reaching over and touching her settled her. after 2 nights she went back to sleeping through!
my daughter now has a dummy at nap time and that's it.
don't know if my advice will help if you're not a 'crying it out' kind of person, but that's how i did it!
good luck!! :)


Yeah, unfortunately I'm definitely not a cry it out person. But thank you! =)

Sarah - posted on 06/03/2009

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Hi Amber. my youngest was the same, i got soooo annoyed getting up every 10 mins to put her dummy (pacifier) back in at night! Personally i just stopped giving it to her at night, yes, she woke up and cried, but no more than she had done because of the dummy falling out, in fact, she woke up less often. i let her 'cry it out' (may not be a popular solution!) and it worked for me. the first night was quite hard, but she was still in my room at that point so usually just reaching over and touching her settled her. after 2 nights she went back to sleeping through!

my daughter now has a dummy at nap time and that's it.

don't know if my advice will help if you're not a 'crying it out' kind of person, but that's how i did it!

good luck!! :)

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