Help she wont sleep on her own and she's up till 3am!

Janice - posted on 12/18/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 7 weeks old. We have multiple sleep problems. 1. she will only sleep on her own on her stmach. 2.She cries from11pm till 2:30-4 am. When I finally get her to sleep its always in bed with me. We spend the 3-5 hours eating then falling to sleep in my arms then screaming when she is put down. Now we are both sleeping in till 10 am with one feeding. The schedule will not fly in 4 weeks when I return to work.
So does anyone have suggestions on 1. how to help my daughter sleep on her own and 2. how to get her on a better schedule?

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Jessica - posted on 12/19/2009

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This sounds like the situation I was in with my son. Unfortunatly there is no 'quick fix' you have to start setting the routine you want, so feed at a certain time, don't let her fall asleep on you, when she is awake but sleepyish put her in her cot so she knows that she is there by herself. The hardest part is letting her cry, because she has to learn to self-soothe. Let her cry for 10-15 minutes at first, then enter pick her up, comfor her etc. When you put her in there again let her cry 10-15 mins again, you'll have to do it everyday, but every few days increase the length of time you wait before going in, eventually she will get the idea and get herself to sleep (expecially when you are no longer walking in)



My daughter refuses to sleep on her back too, she is a belly sleeper, and at first it worried me but she prefers it that way, my son did too.



Remember it only takes 3 days to build a habit. If you keep taking her to your bed she will soon expect it, and then it will be much much harder to get her to sleep on her own.



I hope this works for you, good luck!!



Jess x

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Janice - posted on 12/20/2009

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Quoting Chessa:

You really shouldn't let a baby cry it out before they're four months old... Before that they don't have the ability to self soothe, and she's crying because she needs something. I don't really have any advice to give as I didn't have my son on a schedule until he was older, but I just wanted to ask you to please please NOT let your little baby cry it out. All I can tell you is that as she gets older things will get better and easier, although it seems like this will never end.


I agree. I have also heard that letting very young babies cry is not helping anything and I don't plan on trying it. Actually one night I was letting her cry in her crib just because I needed 5 minutes and fell asleep. When I woke up 45 min. later she was still screaming. I felt so guilty.

Casandra - posted on 12/20/2009

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I know I will get some flack for this, but I let our kids sleep in our bed. I am a full-time student, part-time employee and a full-time mom to three, soon to be four kids, and I could not live on the sleep I wasn't getting with the babies.
I let the kids sleep in our bed, in one of those cushioned sleepers, it keeps the baby on his/her back and provides some protection from stray limbs flailing about. My oldest started sleeping in his own bed in our room around 6 months and was in his own room by his first birthday. Our second child slept in our bed until she was 9 months but then she went straight to a toddler bed in her brothers room. Our third one seems to be a bit more clingy. She has been in her own bed in our room since she was 7 months, but she doesn't want to move out of our room, we are having another baby and maybe she senses it, but she sleeps through the night in her own bed five feet from ours. This may not seem like something some would even consider but it has worked miracles for us and my 71/2 hours of sleep each night.

[deleted account]

You really shouldn't let a baby cry it out before they're four months old... Before that they don't have the ability to self soothe, and she's crying because she needs something. I don't really have any advice to give as I didn't have my son on a schedule until he was older, but I just wanted to ask you to please please NOT let your little baby cry it out. All I can tell you is that as she gets older things will get better and easier, although it seems like this will never end.

Renae - posted on 12/19/2009

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I can help you but first you need to make sure that this is not colic or reflux or basically that her behaviour is not caused by pain. If she is in some sort of discomfort and you try any of the sleep methods I am about to tell you it will probably cause her emotional distress. I will also talk about tummy sleeping, some mums choose to do it because it works.

Your baby is very young and ordinarily I would tell you to ride it out and come back to me if it doesn't improve after 12 weeks. 80% of babies sleep patterns improve between 8 and 12 weeks. By 12 weeks most babies are going to bed about 6-8pm and sleeping a 5 hour stretch without feeds usually between midnight and 5am.

But, since you know have to go to work soon, I understand if you need to do something now.

If there is nothing medical going on, this will come down to one thing, she needs to learn to go to sleep without you and then she will go to bed easily and sleep for longer. That's just how it works.

To teach her to go to sleep and sleep through the night you have several options. No-cry methods and crying methods. Crying methods are most effective, have higher success rates and work quickly. No cry methods are gentle and require some time and patience. I am an advocate of crying methods but I'm not sure I'm comfortable recommending it on such a young baby who hasn't had a chance to see if she is going to sort this out on her own. But only you know your whole situation and only you can decide what is best for her and you.

If you use a crying method I recommend you use crying it out with cry interpretation. I am not an advocate of control crying or any method where you go in and check on them as each time you go into them, you must leave again, and when you leave they go through the initial distress of being left all over again and it makes the baby more and more distressed. If you use a crying method and leave her to figure out she is supposed to go to sleep and do some research on cry interpretation and listen to her cries so that you know if she needs you, you can cry it out without distressing your baby. This method is very effective and works very quickly.

The most common no-cry option is gradual withdrawal. This is where you gradually withdraw the baby from needing your help to go to sleep. This has an 80% success rate and takes 2-4 weeks.

Another no-cry method is that of UK baby whisperer Tracey Hogg, called Pick-up/Put-down. She has a website with a support forum for people using the method. Her book is called the Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. She also has an excellent day schedule. Google the EASY method. (Eat, Activity, Sleep, You)

You can also read Save Our Sleep by Tizzie Hall, many mums love this book. There is also No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley but by the time you read the book I dont think you will have time for it to work before you go back to work.

In regards to tummy sleeping. The reason they say not to is because babies, especially newborns, go into a much deeper sleep when they are on their tummies. So it is thought that their brains might shut down and stop breathing and that may be the reason for increased SIDS with tummy sleepers. These days it isn't really about suffocation, cot mattresses have to meet standards of firmness and be breathable and we no longer put pillows and lots of bedding on babies. I know lots of mums whose babies went straight to sleep and slept through the night as soon as they put them on their tummy. If you choose to do it, you can get a breathing monitor. The one I have is called Angelcare Sound and Movement Monitor. In another thread someone mentioned one that clips onto the nappy which I had never heard of before.

There is lots of info out there if you google any of the above sleep methods. You are also more than welcome to contact me for info or instructions on anything I have said (this post is too long already! LOL).

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