How do I break my son from wanting to be held all the time?

Erin - posted on 12/14/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My son is 7 weeks old and won't let me put him down for more than a half an hour. It was great for the first month because I'm a new mom and my son loves to snuggle, but now I have stuff to do and can't get it done. My mom told me to let him cry, he'll get the idea but he cries and cries. He's not one who will cry himself to sleep. He will cry for over an hour until I pick him up. I don't know what to do. When I go back to work and he goes to daycare, they aren't going to be able to hold him all the time. What should I do?

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Renae - posted on 12/19/2009

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Half an hour is wonderful! Many newborns dont want to be left alone for more than 15 minutes. I would not expect a 7 week old to have "independant play" for any longer than that. My 9mo can now do up to 45 minutes and that is very good for his age. In daycare there will only be 4 babies to a carer (if ratios are the same where you are) so that person should continuously move between babies and he certainly should not be left to play alone for more than half an hour or the day care is not doing their job.

Sarah - posted on 12/19/2009

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My son is/was the same way. He is now three months. I'm a single mother, and was laid-off right before he was born, so I held him all the time, enjoying every moment with him. I started laying him down to play for just a few minutes at a time, until he started to fuss. I use the sling to get longer projects done. I'll put him in the bouncer or swing when he's content, even if I want to hold him, I know I have to get him used to being on his own as well. I feel he is too young to cry more than a few minutes, unless it's a situation such as he was content until after I got in the shower. I've done the cry it out method occasionally to get him to put himself to sleep, but generally soothe him after about five minutes each first time because he usually just wants his pacifier back. Now, I can get things done such as wrap all the Christmas gifts or clean up an area while he's content on the floor or in his swing, as long as I talk to him off and on, and acknowledge when he's talking.

Emili - posted on 12/18/2009

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do whatever YOU feel is best. if you dont like letting him cry it out but still want to get things done try a sling. they are great when you need extra hands. lol good luck.

Ashley - posted on 12/18/2009

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My son always wanted to be held (now 3 months). I put him in the swing or we have a little rocker/chair for him. Of course he would cry but I would put him down and do something for a minute and come back and talk to him and smile with him and now he doesn't mind as much. He still cries sometimes but he knows he's fine sitting without me.

Misty - posted on 12/15/2009

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Mine is the same she is now 3 months no ammount of mommy is right here works I used a sling it was great but she is too big for it now I put her swing within feet of me sometimes it works she won't cry herself either I find if I let her cry the madder she gets the harder it is to calm her for sleep so I have to just give in to her luckly I don't have to go back to work but try the swing thing it might work or ask the daycare what they suggest as they will be the ones watching him so if it doesn't work you can blame them lol good luck

Vicki - posted on 12/14/2009

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Have you tried using a sling? There's lots you can get done with a baby strapped to you front and when more confident, your back. Also, what kind of support do you have? Maybe instead of suggesting CIO your Mom could come and do some of the housework, cooking or whatever needs doing. Or maybe some friends or your husband/partner can come and help rather than you having to parent in isolation. Your son is only very young, keep enjoying the snuggles!

Tracy - posted on 12/14/2009

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Do you have a swing?? If not I'd invest in one. I bought mine from a consignment store for $20 and it was sooo worth it.

Nicole - posted on 12/14/2009

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Keep holding him. Put him down and get done what you can but keep going back to talk to him, smile, coo, let him know that you're always there. He'll get more comfortable and trust that you will be there when he needs you. My little one screamed until he was picked up as well. I still can't put him down for long periods of time but he is able to play on his own and enjoys socializing with me while he is playing and I'm getting stuff done. Best of luck, its heart breaking when they fuss but we'll all figure it out eventually.

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