I NEED HELP!!!

[deleted account] ( 9 moms have responded )

Ok so I have 2 kids, a 2 and a half yr old daughter and a 2week old son. Well my son is very colicy and im at my wits end. I literally have no more paitience and I am a total emotional wreck every time my son cries. I don't know what to do anymore. It's really hard especially since my daughter still needs me to get her snacks, drinks u name it..plus shes still in diapers. I feel like I am neglecting her sometimes 'cause when my son cries for long periods of time I just completely shut down. They say that these feelings go away within the first 10days but for me its been 14 and I don't even know where to go from here.

9 Comments

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Sarah - posted on 10/30/2009

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My bubby is 5 weeks old and also gets colic, has done since she was a week old, i think thats because we had to put her on formula as well as breastmilk. Its the hardest thing seeing your bub in pain and not being able to do anything, i really do know how you feel. When my bub was a week old she went into the nicu and i discovered one of the reasons she was screaming so much was hunger, as i wasn't making any milk. I can't even begin to tell you how upset i was to realise that one of the reasons she'd been screaming all day was that she was starving. It sounds silly but i cried on and off for days about not being able to breastfeed. In short, if your bub has colic and is screaming all day/night, your sleep deprived and also trying to care for another child its no wonder your feeling depressed. Try and get some help, even if you can get someone to just watch your older child and soothe the baby for a few hours so you can have a sleep you may be surprised how much better you feel after a bit of sleep.

[deleted account]

I do have a motion swing but my son doesnt like it yet. He's very gassy and both me and my mom have tried almost everything and the only thing that really gets him to calm down is a warm bath which i cant give him all the time because i just got him circumsized last saturday. my son doesnt puke everywhere like my daughter did just cant seem to get the gas bubbles out of his little tummy. I suffered PPD with my daughter for about 9months, not sure how long these feelings will last with my son.

Jennifer - posted on 10/29/2009

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I meant to add I agree about the swing...my son LOVED his swing...also slept in that bad boy till he couldnt fit in it any more! Also...studies show babies with colic dont show colic symptoms till at least a month old...thats why i really feel your son may have reflux...its hard to tell with a baby so young...my son was 1 month till 4 months when they found out...and they kept telling me it wasnt reflux because he wasnt throwing up and arching his body back, go figure that it was reflux. Well anyway, You really should talk to a DR about PPD...its very common, dont feel ashamed...i also had PPD. You need to take care of your self in order to take care of your babies! =)

Jennifer - posted on 10/29/2009

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My son who is now almost 8 months old was "Colic" for 3 months....You really should get your son checked for acid reflux! My gut told me he was in pain...he would scream for 8-9 hours straight and i kept saying he seemed like he was in pain...on top of constipation, he had acid reflux...after 3 months of "colic" they finally listened to me and gave him medication for his reflux...he has been a happy smiling laughing baby ever since! I am a first time mom, so i was VERY depressed and felt like I was doing something wrong...but every mom with a crying baby feels that way, we all are allowed to feel upset and depressed, You are not neglecting your daughter...you are just adjusting to what is new and going on in your lives. My feelings of depression didnt go away until my son was finally taken care of with no more tears. I HIGHLY recommend you demand for him to be looked at for reflux....I have done so much research and about 9 out 10 Moms that I have talked to that had children with colic....really had children with reflux, as reflux is extremely common in infant children. Hope I have helped =) Good luck and you will be just fine! Just remember...this does go away.

Jennifer - posted on 10/29/2009

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A swing is what saved us from our daughter's colic, she spent so much time in there. In fact, she even slept in it when she wasn't next to me (I breastfeed). It was a nightmare but get your doctor involved if you can't find something that works. Also, I agree with Sara on checking on Post Partum although I felt that way too because it is tough when your baby is so unhappy. Mine had colic from 2 weeks until about 2 months. You can bare that burden that long so I hope you can find some help.

User - posted on 10/28/2009

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Don't feel bad, i was pretty much a zombie for the first month and i only had one child to care for, so you're doing a great job! Maybe you could put your daughter in nursery school or playgroup for a couple of hours a day, a few days a week to give you a break, and then have some special one on one time with her on the weekend when someone else would be able to watch your son? It's pretty common for older children to get jealous or feel left out when a new baby arrives but trying to involve her in caring for the baby will help a lot!

[deleted account]

I have been asking for help, but it's hard for me because where i live everybody i know either works full time or goes to school full time. in order for me to get that little bit of extra help i have to travel to get it.

Tiffany - posted on 10/26/2009

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I've only just had my first child. And if you're anything like me you hate asking for help or just want to do it on your own because it's your child. I know it's easier said than done but ask for some help. Whether that be a mother, sister, friend, whatever. Especially talking to someone who's been through it will help. Or at least it has for me. You might think you're being a pain but there are so many people out there just wanting to help (sometimes they feel like they're being the pain to ask to come over) even if it's just to hold the new baby or whatever. It won't make you lesser of a Mom at all. You'll always be your childrens' mother :) I watched a Dr Phil show the other day and one of the woman said "sometimes you're afraid to share your child's love but then they grow up and you realize the more people who love that child the better off they are." I don't know if that's how you feel (as I often did) but getting to the bottom of it will really help.

And kind of like the above comment said even if you don't think it's PPD talk to your doctor. He/She probably has many resources for you to use :)

[deleted account]

Talk to your doctor if you're afraid it's PPD. Enlist in the help of others (dad, your mom, other family members or friends). The first few weeks are very hard. Try involving your daughter in taking care of your son. Ask her to bring you a diaper, pacifier, blanket...etc. Then praise her for being "a great big sister!" That way she feels involved. Good luck to you!

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