My 4-week old daughter refuses to sleep at night unless she can sleep on my chest,she seems to be confusing day and night...what do i do?

Megan - posted on 06/25/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

2

10

0

I've read all the books on sleep training but nothing seems to work, and we really struggle to wind her. She sleeps in her cot just fine during the day but at night she just wants interaction. Apparently at this stage they are too young to form habits but it seems she knows exactly what she wants...to sleep on my chest ONLY!

Please help, im exhausted!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Kate - posted on 06/26/2009

74

42

14

I am totally against any sort of baby training. Newborns are programed to know what is best and their responses are cues for you to respond! I went through the same thing with my daughter and let her sleep on my chest, one arm on her at all times. You WILL wake up if she moves. Just lay on your back, close your eyes and sleep too. It will pass.

Lisa - posted on 06/26/2009

127

30

0

My son had the same issue, I think because he was born at 1130 pm. Regardless, I know how annoying it is!!! What worked for us was to let him get sunlight during the day. Not direct, of course, but close to a window, a short walk, etc. This helps their brain be able to regulate the melatonin at appropriate levels at appropriate times. Melatonin is the hormone that allows us to fall asleep. This helped within a week or so. Good luck, and congratulations!!!

Minnie - posted on 06/26/2009

7,076

9

788

Nothing works because the books are bunk. Your daughter wants to sleep with you because it is her inherent nature, how she is biologically made.

Is it a habit that she wants to eat? To be warm? It is well NOT a habit that she knows she feels safe, secure, and stable on your body.

Sarah - posted on 06/25/2009

203

26

10

I had the same issue with my daughter. It took a little while, about a couple of months, and then she started getting into a routine of her own. She liked sleeping on our chest as well, but when she realised it was night time, she started sleeping in her bassinet. The bassinet was near our bed and she slept great in it. Treasure these moments because someday she won't want to cuddle. I know it's exhausting, but I promise you that it does get better with time =]

14 Comments

View replies by

[deleted account]

My little man is now five weeks old ... He did the same thing the first couple of weeks we were home ... The dr. recommended waking him if he slept for more than 4 hours during the day so that he would sleep better at night, but I felt terrible doing that ... So we just let him fall asleep on the chest, then put him in his crib once he was in deep sleep, he barely even noticed the transition. At first we also put blankets down where he would be in the crib so it would be warm for him ...

When he wakes for a feeding, we use only the nightlight so the room stays dark, and speak only in whispers ...

Now, only a couple weeks later, he is going to sleep all on his own in the crib when I put him down between 8:30 and 9, and again when he wakes for his middle of the night feeding.

Snuggling with your baby is the best feeling in the world ... I sometimes miss him sleeping on my chest.

Heidi - posted on 07/02/2009

4

11

0

my little girl was like that. she would only sleep in my arms. One night when i was exhausted and was crying and totally frustrated, I just stuck her in the swing and let her cry herself to sleep. I feel awful about it but didn't know what else to do. That night she I guess figured out it was ok to sleep there because I didn't have any problems putting her in the swing after that night. She ended up sleeping in the swing till she was 5 months old and now she sleeps in the crib at night and swing for naps. I know not the best but I do what works for us and keeps the family happy. The crib transition has been really smooth though. The first night I put her in there a little groggy and she cried of course but I would go in every 4 mins and pick her up and soothe her till she quit crying and then placed her back in the crib. After that night she sleeps in there without crying. I hope you figure something out.

Destiny - posted on 07/02/2009

18

5

1

I have an opionion different then alot of people and it's this. Your baby is in her learning stage right now, everything around her is new and exciting so she'll pick up habbits! :) my little girl (now 4 months) did the EXACT same thing and although it's sweet for a little bit after a while you just need sleep! :) I recommend a book called BABY WISE it was very useful to my husband and I. Also with the staying awake at night and sleeping during the day, we would do everything we could to keep baby awake as long as possible so she was tired at night. We had to do it for a few days but she switched over and sleeps through the night. Also we got a moses basket that we placed on the floor next to my side of the bed for easy access when she was hungry. In the baby wise book it talks about putting your baby on a schedule. But not the kind like "you eat at 1 3 5 7 ect..." it was baby eats then has wake time then takes a nap. It helps them learn to organize there sleep and settle themselves down. It sounds like your baby is a stomach sleeper. My Sam is too, she will not sleep on her back so try laying your little one down on her stomach at night to sleep. As long as there is nothing near her little face she will not die! :) Also it helps with neck and back control! :) I really hope it helps! And try reading that book, that's what did it for my husband and I! Good luck

Kate - posted on 06/26/2009

74

42

14

Also... try wearing your baby in a carrier/sling/wrap during the day and the close contact will make her feel more secure at night.

Rabia - posted on 06/26/2009

49

19

5

i had the same winding problem with my son, theres not much you can do besides wait for ur bub to grow out of it but do try winding more often in between the feeds.



my son didnt have the habit of sleeping on my chest but he didnt know the difference between day and night so i started making noise during the day while he was sleeping, had the tv loud and tried waking him up etc and at night i would take him to our room put the lights out and feed him in the quiet then put him to bed and leave him in there after a few weeks he got into the routine... he now wont sleep anywhere but his bed and he goes to bed at 8pm till 7am since 2mnths of age!

Mary - posted on 06/26/2009

157

11

23

I feel for ya! Its a rough ride those first couple months. Your daughter will start to learn the difference between nighttime and daytime soon - likely by 2 months old. By 3 months or so, there should be a pattern to her sleep schedule. At that age she'll be ready for a bedtime and routine. Unfortunately, you just have to go with the baby's sleep and waking pattern for a while until he/she is older. It seems to last forever when you're going through it! So, I know that saying that it'll pass does not help that much - BUT, it WILL pass. For now, take lots of naps

My daughter kept us up all night and wouldn't go to sleep until 5am during the first few weeks! She's still a nightowl at 13 months, but goes to bed at 9pm.

And, yes, being on your chest is what your daughter craves and needs - snuggles, warm mama, milk - all normal! Our daughter slept in bed with us for the first few months. She could be cuddled to sleep - so much easier at that stage to put her to bed with me than to convince her that a cold, strange crib was better to sleep in. It made nighttime feeding so much easier to have her right there by my side. Eventually she started sleeping much better in her own crib.

Lucy - posted on 06/26/2009

411

29

29

My little girl was exactly the same and slept on my chest until around 6 weeks, even now at 11 weeks when my daughter wakes up around 5-6am for a feed she wont go back in her moses basket so has another couple of hours on my chest.

Marabeth - posted on 06/25/2009

394

7

39

four weeks old is *very* young, still considered a newborn.. it's very far fetched to think that they could sleep on their own, or even know day vs. night. the day and night mixup happens with a lot of newborns and it usually works itself out by six weeks or so.. as far as sleeping on your chest, she won't demand it forever or much longer for that matter, so just enjoy that you have a precious newborn who needs you so much. and enjoy that you can do that for someone you love so much. take naps when she sleeps during the day or at least lay down and rest. take care of yourself in this time. your primary job right now is to meet her needs and anything else you can swing is just extra.

Vicki - posted on 06/25/2009

675

30

112

At that age, sleeping more than three hours at a time would be a concern. She's near her food source, so it does seem like a perfect situation for baby! If you make night time feedings "boring" with little interactions, speaking softly, and letting her know she needs to go back to sleep immediately, it will eventually lead her to know night time is sleep time.

Kelly - posted on 06/25/2009

2

5

1

This may not be much help but my aunt and uncle went through the same thing until my cousin was about 6 mos. old. They would start putting him in the crib a little bit at a time to get him used to it until he was ok with it but for the first couple months, he would only sleep on their chests. He did grow out of it eventually though! My daughter does this sometimes as well. She did it more right at the beginning and I was content to let her sleep on me. I usually just napped with her. Sometimes I would wait until she was in a deep sleep and then lay her in the bassinet or crib so she would wake up to that environment. Other times, we both just sleep best the way she wants. I find it's best to just go with the flow and start a routine as much as possible without pushing her too hard. She's 6 weeks now and sleeps in the crib most of the time but still has those times where she just wants to be near me while sleeping. Good Luck.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms