My baby can't sleep through the night anymore in her bed and needs to be constantly held!

Christine - posted on 12/13/2009 ( 15 moms have responded )

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My baby is 5.5 months old and used to sleep through the night in her crib with a cuddle before going down and a few pats along to soothing music. But since last week she was showing discomfort from teething so my husband and I held her more and there was one night when he slept with her on the couch with her in his arms because she refused to go to her bed. That was fine since she was so miserable and in the morning we had her nurse on the bed and sleep with us. But since then she refuses to sleep in her bed and would wail if she can't feel someone's touch. Last night we held her til she was in deep sleep and then tried to transfer her afterwards but she woke up within seconds and screamed bloody murder! We tried at 2, 4, and 6am and it was the same! Has she simply gotten used to being held while she sleeps from just a few nights? Any tips?

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Vicki - posted on 12/13/2009

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You could just let her stay in your bed. Cribs and separate rooms are a modern invention and not what nature intended - just social conditioning. She won't be there as a teen I promise!

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Shalene - posted on 12/15/2009

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My son was the exact same way...he would sleep the whole night in our arms but the second we laid him down he would wake and refuse to go back to sleep. Then someone told me about the MIRACLE BLANKET...it's a blanket that you wrap your babe up so she's right nice and snug so they still feel like they are being cuddled, I've tried similar products but they aren't the same, this is the ONLY one that worked for me...check out this link http://www.miracleblanket.com/
It truly is a miracle...good luck

[deleted account]

I just want to say I enjoyed reading this discussion. I am thrilled to see so many women encouraging non CIO methods. There is hope for our children and the worlds future if we all continue to parent in a caring and gentle way. Keep up the great work Mum's!!!

Jamie - posted on 12/14/2009

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I always let my little ones sleep with me. We all just slept better that way. I do highly highly recommend the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Panty. She has such awesome tips! I'll give you a few links below :). You can also try Hyland's Teething Tablets for the pain and irritation caused by teething.



http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100...

http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detsleepth...





Some articles about why CIO may not be what you want to choose

http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/pinky_...

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handou...

http://parentingfreedom.com/cry-it-out/h...

[deleted account]

it may just be a phase - related to a new skill learned, a growth spurt or teething - they change so much and their needs and wants change every few weeks!

Melissa - posted on 12/14/2009

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My son is two months old and was sleeping through the night for 3weeks. A few weeks ago me and my partner was having the same problem. It was when he had the sickness bug that he was getting up every hour if he was in his crib so I let him go to sleep on me in our bed. I'd let him fall asleep in my arms then put him in his crib sometimes he would stay asleep and others he would wake up as soon as I put him down. I use to let him cry for about 5mins but I couldn't leave him any longer. I found giving him his last bottle our room with the lights off and no noise and when hes so nearly asleep I put him is his crib. He has a blanket either side of him and I lean him slightly on one of the blankets. I make sure his blankets are tucked in because I was told that if they kick about when there in a light sleep its enough to wake them up. Since doing that he has been back to sleeping through the night. x

Christine - posted on 12/13/2009

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Thank you all for your comments! And Renae, yes I would love to know more about the no cry methods. I can't bear 2min of lexy crying! I have the Tracy Hogg book and have been following most things like dream feed, etc. This afternoon lexy refused to go inside the crib to sleep but am trying to get her to play there more independently so she's not so negative about it. I go in and out and play with her for a bit and step out. At nap time she still wouldn't budge in her stance so tried cuddling and then patting her on the couch without holding her to sleep. Took forever but at least it felt like a first step... Transferred her to the crib afterwards and she was able to get 45min before she woke up to play on her own (so she can be alone, she just doesn't want to do it when she sleeps!)

[deleted account]

Hi, I'm a mom to a newborn baby boy (1 week old). He does the same thing. If holding him swaddled, he'll fall asleep peacefully. However, once I put him in the bassinet he wakes up. I've started leaving one arm out of the swaddle, which allows him to self soothe (a little), but the results are the same. I was thinking about getting a heartbeat bear, but am on the fence about that. I'll research the put down/pick up method and see how that works (posted by Renae). thank you.

Renae - posted on 12/13/2009

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25% of babies who have their parents with them when they go to sleep suddenly stop being able to go to sleep and start waking at night between 5 and 12 mo, closer to 5mo is more common. It is usually set off by teething or sickness, or just happens out of nowhere. You can either wait it out, there is a greater than 60% chance she will go back to normal within 1-3 months on her own (also 40% chance she wont). Or you can teach her to go to sleep on her own.



To teach her to go to sleep and sleep through the night you have several options. No-cry methods and crying methods. Crying methods are most effective, have higher success rates and work quickly. No cry methods are gentle and require some time and patience.



If you use a crying method I recommend you use crying it out with cry interpretation. I am not an advocate of control crying or any method where you go in and check on them as each time you go into them, you must leave again, and when you leave they go through the initial distress of being left all over again and it makes the baby more and more distressed. If you use a crying method and leave her to figure out she is supposed to go to sleep and do some research on cry interpretation and listen to her cries so that you know if she needs you, you can cry it out without distressing your baby. This method is very effective and is usually not nearly as bad as mum's expected.



The most common no-cry option is gradual withdrawal. This is where you gradually withdraw the baby from needing your help to go to sleep. This has an 80% success rate and takes 2-4 weeks.



Another no-cry method is that of UK baby whisperer Tracey Hogg, called Pick-up/Put-down. She has a website with a support forum for people using the method.



There is lots of info out there if you google any of the above methods. You are also more than welcome to contact me for info or instructions on anything I have said (if I include it all this post will be too long).

Lurie - posted on 12/13/2009

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I was experiencing the same with my baby last week (she is only 4 weeks), I asked my midwife and she recommended that we swaddle her in a blanket as she wants to be comforted. She still falls asleep in my arms but I can put her down once she is fully as sleep.

Tiffeny - posted on 12/13/2009

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Hi :0 my babys a month old annd will do the same thing...I find it helps if you bundle her us in blankets so she feels like she is being held.I lay her a bit on her side and she usually sleeps good.Sometimes it works sometimes it dosent.Good luck :]
Tiffeny

Lina - posted on 12/13/2009

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That could be it also it might be that she does not feel the warmth of your body my baby boy does that also. What you can try is using the projectors that play music and placing her in the crib while she is awake like 3 minutes before bed time if its feeding time feed her and stay near so she can see you. Feed her in the crib when i lived with my neice this is what i use to have to do with her to make her fall asleep with my son i just let him complain in the crib he does not cry put does alot of cuuing hope this helps and good luck

Lina - posted on 12/13/2009

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That could be it also it might be that she does not feel the warmth of your body my baby boy does that also. What you can try is using the projectors that play music and placing her in the crib while she is awake like 3 minutes before bed time if its feeding time feed her and stay near so she can see you. Feed her in the crib when i lived with my neice this is what i use to have to do with her to make her fall asleep with my son i just let him complain in the crib he does not cry put does alot of cuuing hope this helps and good luck

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