My daughter is 4 1/2 mths old and im pregnant.

Cassie - posted on 08/14/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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Im pregnant with number two.. so much is going thru my head. im worried of how my daughter will take having to share her mommy shes already really attached to me.. will i have equal time for them both.. how will i handle a newborn and a 1 year old when they both need so much attention at thoes ages. my mother lives in another town.. and the kids dad lives with us but isnt much help with his work then coming home tired and not wanting to help. if anyone has any advice or anything thoughts let me know

11 Comments

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Kirsty - posted on 08/21/2009

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i have a 2 yr old and a 7 month old : schedule , very important and always treat them equally x

Julie - posted on 08/14/2009

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its ok for them to cry to themselves for a bit, get dad to do the feeding while he's around so she doesnt think ur the only one who can do it or lie her on the sofa with a blanket under the bottle so u phyisically dont have to hold her and can supervise from a distance ur bond is there already so wont be affected she just needs to know its ok to be alone and that u'll come back soon.

Rachael - posted on 08/14/2009

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I did start having Lorelai play on her own more so that she would be alittle more used to playing alone so that when Van came she would be used to it. I worked for the most part. We still have the I don't want to times but not as bad as I thought!

Cassie - posted on 08/14/2009

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thats what my daughter does she wont even go to her dad!! my daughter goes to bed between 7 or 8 and sleeps to 4-6am so that parts good thanks for the advice.

Julie - posted on 08/14/2009

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get them both into routines as soon as u can, start leaving ur baby for longer on her own stick her in frount of telly in bouncy chair they love the lights and movement and mobiles, so she gets used to u being away u cant do 2 things at once. get a bed time routine so she can be in bed for say 7pm and should sleep through till 5 or 6am giving u free time with newborn also put her to bed during day so she has an hour or 2 giving time out, dont let her get to clingy or u'll make a rod for ur own back.

i learnt with my first baby i had to have her strapped to me all day as soon as i put her down she'd scream day and night, she wouldnt go to anyone else till she was a year and a half!!

good luck

Rachael - posted on 08/14/2009

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My daughter was 3 when I got preggers and almost 4. I took her to all the dr visits with me, she got to go to the sonograms which she loved! I included her in everything so that by the time Van came she was very into him. We still have our I want mommy times but when I can I get some me and her time, going to the store, or running errands when my hubby gets home all seem to help!

Cassie - posted on 08/14/2009

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i come from a very small town and we dont have local groups like that.. so i come here also the kids in this town hav not grown up yet.. this town here is VERY differnt kids dotn really learn to grown up or learn independece when they sould... thanks for all the help..

Angela - posted on 08/14/2009

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One of my close friends has a 3 month old and is due in March with twins. She is freeking out to say the least. She has talked to lots of women who have kids close together. They have said that creating a schedule is the key. If you think you need help try your local womens center.

Regina - posted on 08/14/2009

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mine are 14 mons. apart and it is a challenge but it can be done!!! - Start now on working up a support group of friends that will be willing to help out in a pinch even if it is just for a few hours and they only take one of the babies for a while - that time is GOLDEN!!! Don't worry about big sis having to share her mommy - she won't ever know the difference - that was the main thing I worried about when I was preg. but they are too young to remember anything but both if them being there. Everybody kept telling me "oooohhhhhhhhhh he will be sooooooooo jealous" but when our daughter was born I made a point to include him - letting him hold her(with help and close supervision :)), finding her paci, bringing me a diaper/ throwing them away etc. and he has never been jealous of her just very loving and protective!!!! Also, don't be afraid to let her touch and love on the baby sis even if she seems kinda rough to you - babies are very resiliant sp? and short of smothering them they usually can't and don't hurt them - teach gentleness but don't freak out every time they whack the baby trying to love on it bc then they start to resent this litle person that mommy gets to play with all the time and they don't - I starting to ramble but I hope this helps!!!!!

Rayna - posted on 08/14/2009

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If there's a local church where you live, they will usually help out if they can. I agree with finding a mom group. Hopefully you'll connect with someone who can help you out once in a while. You're going to be very busy. And don't worry about "having equal time" for them both. The one year old will demand your attention because they're mischievous by nature :) The baby will deal. And it'll be just fine.

Kathy - posted on 08/14/2009

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Find a local mom group that you can meet/playdates and join it. You need to make other mommy friends...you will need all the hands on support you can get :)

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